UPDATE; Madelynn Taylor and Jean Mixner Will Be Buried Together

I first wrote about Madelynn Taylor — a 74-year-old US … United States … Navy veteran — back in April of this year; see post HERE.

Here’s a recap: Madelynn Taylor met and fell in love with Jean Mixner back in 1995, and they were married in California in 2008; afterwards they moved to Idaho and lived happily ever after until Jean died in 2012.

Madelynn Taylor, who had Jean cremated, wanted to be buried in Idaho’s Veterans Cemetery — she’s a veteran, remember — and she wanted to have Jean’s ashes interred with her. She contacted the cemetery to reserve one single plot for both she and her wife, but was told that they could not be buried together, not because of the space, but because, at that time, same-sex marriage was illegal, and unrecognized in Idaho.

To be clear, however, both Taylor and Mixner could be buried together in a national military cemetery — because their marriage is federally recognized — but Taylor wants to be buried in Boise where there are family close by. She even went so far as to ask a friend to hold onto her wife’s ashes, and hers, should she die before marriage became legal, and have them buried together then. And then, Barry Johnson is a retired U.S. Army colonel who lives in Potlatch, Idaho, became involved after he read Madelynn’s story; see that post HERE.

Barry wrote to Madelynn via The Idaho Statesman:

“I'll tell you what. I will donate the plot I earned in the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery to you and Jean. I am happy to give my fellow veteran that small peace of mind. And I do it to honor all the great Americans I've served with along the way - gay, straight, whatever.”

Now, it looks like he won’t have to do that; now it looks like Madelynn won’t have to have a friend old onto the ashes, because last week Idaho state officials agreed to allow Madelynn and Jean to be buried together.

The first thing Madelynn Taylor did was to head to the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery to make arrangements to have both her ashes and those of her late wife interred together at the cemetery.

Simple, yes, but it took the recent victory in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, which found that Idaho’s ban on marriage equality violated the U.S. Constitution, to allow these women, this couple, the rights that every other opposite-sex married couple in this country has taken for granted forever.

“Words can’t describe how incredibly grateful I am for all the work that went into making our wishes possible. Idaho is where some of our best memories together are and it’s where I want to spend eternity with Jean.”—Madelynn Taylor

It seems such a simple request, one that, for many, is a non-issue, but it’s just another perk of equality for married same-sex couples.

Even in Idaho.

via National Center for Lesbian Rights

UPDATE: Barry Johnson Offers His Cemetery Plot to Madelynn Taylor and Jean Mixner

Barry Johnson is a retired U.S. Army colonel who lives in Potlatch, Idaho. 

Earlier this week he read about Madelynn Taylor, a retired Navy veteran, who wished to have Jean Mixner’s, her deceased wife, ashes interred with her when the time came, but, since The Gays can’t marry in Idaho — yet — she was denied. My post on the topic is HERE.

Barry wasn’t happy hearing that news and, well, let’s let him tell the story… via Idaho Statesman

To say that the story of Navy veteran Madelynn Taylor's fight to share a resting place in Idaho's Veterans Cemetery with her lesbian partner is disheartening would be an understatement. Actually, the right word escapes me. I suppose I'm just tired of all the hoo-hah over something this ridiculous.

I honestly couldn't care less if somebody is gay, or "straight" for that matter, just as I couldn't care less about somebody's anti-LGBT views. People seem to want you to be uptight one way or another about it, and I am content to simply respect somebody's differences without a lot of fuss as long as there's no harm done.

Unfortunately, harm often is done, though, to people like Madelynn, and then I do care.

It also seems to me that relationships can be awfully difficult no matter who you choose to be in one with. So if you find one that works … well, good for you. My hat is off to you.

As a lifelong Idahoan and a 27-year Army veteran of two wars, I've worked beside heterosexuals, gays, lesbians and bisexuals. I've really never wanted to hear about anybody's sex life or sexual preferences, one way or another. Besides, everybody more or less knew who is who regardless, and I don't recall anybody in the military ever saying a thing about it. Never.

Frankly, the only thing traumatic about the policy change for our armed forces of allowing gays to openly serve our country was all the media making a big deal about it. It didn't change a thing for any of us doing the job. Serving in uniform has always been about earning trust and has never been about sexuality.

Most of us just shrugged and endured sitting through hours of mind-numbing briefings on a change that essentially changed nothing.

Then we have Madelynn Taylor, who seems like one heck of a lady. She cared for another person with all her heart and had to watch that person die. She is a veteran. She loves her country. She wants her partner by her side and she wants to eternally rest among veterans in the state she made home.

Madelynn, you deserve that.

I'll tell you what. I will donate the plot I earned in the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery to you and Jean. I am happy to give my fellow veteran that small peace of mind. And I do it to honor all the great Americans I've served with along the way - gay, straight, whatever. (I don't know whether it is possible to donate my plot, but I am quite sincere about my willingness to do so.)

Like Madelynn, I love this state and I respect the views of all my neighbors, whether I agree with those views or not. At least having those differences makes for interesting conversations. But let's not pick on people who aren't hurting anybody and simply minding their own business.

Give Madelynn and Jean and others like them a break. Stop finding reasons to make life - and in this case, death - harder than it needs to be.

That's just irritating as hell and disrespectful to boot.

All She Wants Is To Be Buried With Her Wife, And Idaho Says 'No'

Madelynn Taylor is a 74-year-old US — United States — Navy veteran who met Jean Mixner in 1995, and married her in California in 2008, but all hell broke loose when Jean died in 2012.

Taylor, who had Jean cremated, decided that when she dies, she’d like to be buried in Idaho’s Veterans Cemetery and have Jean’s ashes interred with her, but the state has said she cannot do that because same-sex marriage is illegal in Idaho.

Taylor contacted Idaho Veterans Cemetery last fall to reserve a single plot for both she and her wife, but was told that they could not be buried together; now, it’s not an issue of space, because Taylor will also be cremated when the time comes and the two urns could easily fit in the same niche in the cemetery. It’s a simple question of ‘recognition.’ Since the Idaho state constitution bans same-sex marriage the state doesn’t recognize Taylor and Mixner as a married couple, and since the state refuses the recognize them as such, the state cemetery is following suit, and refusing to honor Taylor’s request, saying they must abide by the Idaho state constitution.

“I'm not surprised. I've been discriminated against for 70 years, and they might as well discriminate against me in death as well as life." — Madelynn Taylor

Madelynn Taylor spent six years in the Navy before being dishonorably discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell [DADT] when her superiors learned she was gay; she had that amended to an honorable discharge  following the repeal of DADT.

To be clear, however, both Taylor and Mixner could be buried together in a national military cemetery — because their marriage is federally recognized — but Taylor wants to be buried in Boise where there are family close by.

Madelynn Taylor has chosen to go public with her story in the hope it will move legislators to act, and she has joined the Add The Four Words — a campaign to add the words ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity’ to Idaho’s Human Rights Act. The group has been holding silent protests in the Idaho capitol building since 2010 and Madelynn Taylor was even arrested as one of those protests last month.

But Madelynn Taylor may have the last word on the subject, because, if legislators don’t act before she dies, she has asked a friend to hold onto both their ashes so that they can be interred together when Idaho’s ban on same-sex marriage finally comes to an end.

And it will. Idaho will, one day, sooner rather than later, recognize that Madelynn Taylor and Jean Mixner were a married couple and deserved to be treated as such in life, and in death.

“I'm a stroke waiting to happen. I don't see where the ashes of a couple old lesbians is going to hurt anyone.” — Madelynn Taylor

It shouldn’t make a difference at all.

via GayStarNews
top photo credit: Boise Weekly