"It can only be rescinded if she makes a formal apology. For all the grief she's caused me by being Madonna....I was interested to see she doesn't know who I am because Madonna and I have been feuding for 25 years...When I watched her in the days of "Holiday," nothing was sexier than Madonna. Watching Madonna at 52 going out with 22-year-old kids called Jesus and stripping her clothes off for magazines, it's like, Please, it's over. We have a new one. It's called Lady Gaga."
Sacrilege, I know.
I have never been a huge Madonna fan, and it seems like she simply recycles her old ideas.
What's next, an eighty-year-old Madonna posing stark naked on a Florida highway for another Sex book?
Joan Rivers, on being banned by FOX News for calling Sarah Palin stupid:
"What kills me the most is to think I voted for her two-left-footed daughter on Dancing with the Stars. I should have followed my heart and voted for Hasselhoff. Next to her he looked like Nureyev....Since when is Sarah Palin a wordsmith? She's actually compared herself to Shakespeare after she invented the word "refudiate." Then Shakespeare tweeted back from heaven, "Fuckest thou!"
Joan, Joan, Joan.
Why would you want to appear on a network that exists solely to publicize and promote people like Palin and Gingrich and Huckabee?
They're all stupid.
And don't get me started on Beck and O'Reilly and Hannity, the Trifecta of Asshattedness.
Rush Limbaugh, being dumber and more offensive than ever, about Ronald Reagan and the AIDS epidemic:
"The 1980s were just a vitriolic as they were today. Reagan was called a Nazi just like Bush was. Nothing's different. It was--folks, if you weren't alive then or if you weren't old enough to be paying attention, do not doubt me. The hatred for Ronald Reagan was universal in the Democrat Party and throughout the media....These people blamed AIDS on Reagan. Sound familiar? They blamed homelessness on Reagan -- you know why they blamed AIDS on Reagan? Because he didn't care. Because he never delivered a speech about it. And because of that, AIDS was spread. They actually wanted us to believe that Reagan had the disease, was sneaking into gay people's houses at night, and impregnating them with the disease and running out. And when we left their houses he went over to Grant Park, or wherever it was, Lafayette Park and stole the pork and beans of the homeless and took them back to the White House and fixed them up and at them. That's that kind of stuff they were saying about Reagan."
Um, Rush, you drug addicted homophobic ill-informed fucktard.
I wonder if a disease that hit fat-assed, prescription pill popping blowhards hit America and Ronald Reagan never said a word about because he wasn't a fat-assed, prescription pill popping blowhard, if you'd be singing the same tune.
People were dying and the President ignored it.
No one, NO ONE, said he spread AIDS, you illiterate self-involved fucktard.
Catholics For The Common Good--quite the oxymoron--on DC's marriage equality:
"It is shocking that the U.S. Supreme Court did not accept the appeal of District of Columbia citizens who were deprived of their right to vote on the definition of marriage. The Court's decision effectively upheld the finding of the Washington Human Rights Commission that it would be discriminatory to even give citizens a choice to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. The consequences of changing the definition of marriage have broad ramifications for how the value of marriage to children and society is perceived and will affect decisions people make about marriage in their own lives. Already, 41% of children born today are deprived of a mother and father who have first chosen to make themselves irreplaceable to each through marriage. This is a human tragedy and a violation of the rights of the child."
So, it's despicable to allow people to vote on equality?
People can have their opinions on the matter, but equality should never be put up to a vote.
Newly-elected Republican, Alabama Governor Robert Bentley, on how he feels about people who aren't Christian:
“[I]f you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have, if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister. Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”
Wow.
Alabama really follows that whole "separation of church and state" thing doesn't it.
Non-Christians of Alabama?
Pack up and move, because the governor doesn't think much of you.
Of course, once the firestorm of his idiocy went national, like any good Republican wingnut, Bentley apologized for his bigoted remarks.
Larry Kramer, on the AIDS crisis being a plague that was allowed to happen:
"Governments and bureaucrats and presidents and politicians and the people who run this world lie to people. They tell us HIV is under control. They tell us case numbers are decreasing. They tell us that all is being done that can be done. They tell us HIV is too complicated to eradicate. They tell us gay people and people of color have made more progress than ever before. These are all lies....For some 30-plus years, I have been trying to tell the world where this plague came from and why, and I will continue to do so until I die, too. You see, I simply can't get the memories and the ghosts of just about every friend I had out of my life. And since there is no doubt in my mind that this plague of HIV/AIDS that took them from me was and continues to be allowed to happen, I am duty bound to tell this hideous history as best and as fully as I can. It's the least I can do. That is correct: This plague of HIV/AIDS was intentionally allowed to happen. It still is. Nothing has changed in the intentionality department. Hate has a way of hanging around forever and too often winning out in the end."
Preach it Larry.
We need people like Larry Kramer to keep the world focused on AIDS. They say numbers are decreasing, well, when they say that, they don't mean everywhere. Numbers of HIV-infected people are on the rise all over the world.
Progress is being made, but we still need to keep vigilant.
Kids In The Hall star Scott Thompson, on Canada's banning of Dire Straits' Money For Nothing for its usage of the word "faggot":
"Shakespeare would be rolling over in his g-word. When you ban a word, you make the word more powerful. All this banning that’s going on just makes (the hate) go deeper and deeper into the soul, where it festers. Let it it out. I want to know what you really think. I can handle it. It makes me feel like we’re five years old and need to go potty. The n-word, I guess, is number 1 and the f- word is number 2."
It's a case much like the use of the new version of Huck Finn, where the n-word was replaced by the word 'slave'.
We need to remember that these words, in books and songs, remind us of how it used to be,m and of how far we've come.
And, um, Canada, if you going to ban Money For Nothing, you better start looking at every single rap and hip-hop album, because there's a lot if faggoting going on there, too.
Utah Republican state Senator Chris Buttars, on repealing the Salt Lake City school board's recently instituted anti-bullying rules:
“We’re in big trouble in our public education system. I didn’t realize how much until a month ago when I was asked to chair public education appropriations. We met and when we got done we were all so terrified we couldn’t believe it. This was right under our nose....This is an entire program to bring America down and I want to tell you right now it’s well entrenched in Utah.”
So, instituting a policy against bullying will bring America down?
Wow.
I think what will bring America down is the idea that anyone, regardless of who they are, can be bullied and beaten and harassed and taunted.
That isn't America, Buttars, and you, sir, are an idiot.
Iowa Supreme Court Chief Justice Mark Cady, on whether or not he regretted bringing marriage equality to the state:
“Absolutely not. That decision was crafted with all of the energy, all of the strength — everything that we do as judges is in that opinion. Everything that Iowa is about is in that opinion....“Judges accept that as their role in society. Even a judge that makes a ruling in a criminal case that may result in the suppression of evidence may not be a popular decision, but judges make their decisions based upon the rule of law and that’s what their duty is and that’s the importance and the strength of all of our government.”
The 'rule of law'.
Isn't equality in there somewhere? And why don't more people understand that as well as Cady understands that?
Elaine Donnelly, of the Center For Military Readiness, on former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty's pledge to reinstate DADT should he become president:
"I think he's showing that he is more willing to listen to the voices of combat personnel and leaders than the current administration -- and certainly more so than are the members of Congress, who recklessly rushed to repeal a law that enjoyed such widespread support among the military."
Widespread support in the military?
Did Donnelly not read the survey of military personnel who wanted DADT repealed?
Or is she just another right-wing mouthpiece saying whatever she wants to say as though it were the truth?
As for Pawlenty, well, he's just pandering to the right wing and the Tea Party, because he knows that over, way over, 50% of Americans wanted DADT repealed, and he won't win that battle.
It's just Republican pandering for votes.
Nothing new here.
American Family Association radio host Bryan Fischer, on poor picked on, victim, Sarah Palin:
"The hatred directed at her is mindless, it is baseless, it is utterly irrational, and it is disturbing to an alarming degree. When we look into the face of the unvarnished and seething meanness focused on Ms. Palin, we are looking into the face of evil. We are looking into the face of Satan himself, who is the ultimate source of this vitriol and toxic hate."
So, um, I don't like Sarah Palin, so I am....what? Satan? A disciple of Satan?
Or am I just someone with a different opinion, who views Palin as divisive and dangerous and narcissistic and the last thing this country needs?
Glee star Jane Lynch, on why she thinks openly gay actors are rarely cast in leading roles:
"I don’t know when or if that will ever happen. I think because since most of the world is straight — and maybe we'll get to a place where this will happen — most of the world is straight and we want the audience to project their hopes and dreams for love and romance onto those actors. And if it’s not in some way possible, maybe never probably, in their mind that it could never happen, then they're not going to do it. You know, most people are straight, and I think that’s probably why."
Um, most people on the planet are also Chinese, if we're being honest here, and I don't see a lot of Chinese people being given lead roles.
I like Jane, but she's way off here.
I think people want to see someone they can relate to, a character they can relate to, and they can set aside that actor's personal life to do so.
Otherwise, Pat Morita would have been the star of Happy Days, and not just a costar.
"It’s political gamesmanship. The real case is that she [Giffords] had no security whatsoever at this event. So if she lived under a constant fear of being targeted, if she lived under this constant fear of this rhetoric and hatred that was seething, why would she attend an event in full view of the public with no security whatsoever?"
Wow, so because she had no security she deserved having a bullet sent through her head.
By that logic, because I don't carry a gun, I should expect to be shot also?
We should simply arm everyone and let everyone hire their own security and then we'll all be safe.
Guns for everyone!
That's the key to safety.
Glenn Beck, in 2005:
"I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out -- is this wrong?"
Glenn Beck in 2011:
"Sixty percent of Americans say the rhetoric in America has nothing to do with the shooting. It's -- it's quite honestly an abomination that it's only 60 percent of the American people. I don't understand how rhetoric had anything to do with it."
This, of course, from a man who uses words to incite--remember he called Obama a racist.
This from a man who says he doesn't condone violence, yet posts pictures of himself carrying a gun.
This from....oh, forget it, Beck is an asshat.
Bishop Robert C. Evans, on the idea of marriage equality coming to Rhode Island:
"I submit that today, in the State of Rhode Island, we are faced with a challenge to our baptismal promises to renounce the modern day evil works of Satan and confess our belief in Christ and His holy Catholic Church. On the day of our baptism, we chose whose side we are on. The question we must now ask ourselves is: Are we still on God’s side? And if we are, how will we prove it? This challenge takes the form of an attempt to grant to same sex couples that recognition reserved for the oldest and the only institution God created in His own image: Man as male and female united in marriage. The essence of marriage in God’s plan is a union of one male and one female, who are so physically, emotionally, psychologically and religiously complementary that each completes the other in such a way that without the other each is incomplete. For this reason, it is a vocation, a call from God to the persons concerned as to how they are to live their lives and win their salvation."
Wow, another invocation of Satan.
So, then, I don't like Palin, so I'm the devil.
I'm pro-marriage equality, so I'm the devil.
Okay.
Wow, Joan Rivers said "Fuckest Thou". I thought I was the only one who ever said that. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, brilliant. If only there WAS a disease for fat-assed, prescription pill popping blowhards, and it was called 'irrelevance.'
ReplyDeleteSo many asshats, so little time. Good job on getting them all in one post, my friend.
ReplyDeleteMan, you're on fire! Thanks for the round-up and commentary. Go to hell, Catholic Church. There, I said it. Felt good.
ReplyDeleteLots of candidates this time around!
ReplyDeleteStolen from Twitter -
"hey, Gov-ner Bob? U r not my bruffer but we is cousins ya know, yur daddy's grandpappy's uncle's son married my momma's uncle's step daughter's youngest..."
Oh Bob!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are in so much trouble with the gay fairy gods over that Madonna comment :)'
Lots of goodies here and love your commentary. When I saw the pic of Piers Morgan, I was hoping to also read what you thought of him and his new show. So far I give it a thumbs down. I think it is cowardly and wrong to ban Madonna or anyone from his show.
ReplyDelete