I Didn't Say It

Madison Cawthorn, racist Christian nationalist GOP Congressman, speaking to college students at the Turning Point USA conference:

“I think you should home school. I was home schooled all the way through. I am proudly a college dropout. Unless you are becoming a doctor or lawyer or engineer, I highly encourage you to drop out.”

Don’t forget that he isn’t quite that proud because he bragged about his acceptance to the Naval Academy, though he was never accepted to the Naval Academy. That was just one of his lies, and no doubt something he learned being home schooled.

PS At this same conference Cawthorn told the students to “marry young,” and the next day Cawthorn announced that he and his wife of less than a year are divorcing.

He’s a stupid Christmas gift that keeps on giving!

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Aaron Sorkin, on the idea of casting only gay actors as gay characters in films:

“It’s heartbreaking, and a little chilling to see members of the artistic community resegregating ourselves. This should be the last place there are walls. Spanish and Cuban are not actable. If I was directing you in a scene and said: ‘It’s cold, you can’t feel your face.’ That’s actable. But if I said: ‘Be Cuban.’ That is not actable. Nouns aren’t actable. Gay and straight aren’t actable. You can act being attracted to someone, but can’t act gay or straight. So this notion that only gay actors should play gay characters? That only a Cuban actor should play Desi? Honestly, I think it’s the mother of all empty gestures and a bad idea.”

I do see his point, but this all began with the idea that casting gay actors in any role would hurt a film’s chances at the box office. Times have changed, and yet we still have that mentality in Hollywood.

Cast the best actor for the role, gay as gay, or straight, and vice versa.

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Sarah Palin, proving she is the OG Lauren Boebert, speaking on COVID and vaccines:

“Do you remember [Fauci] said that if you had Covid, you would be naturally immune? So at the time we were led to believe we wouldn’t need to have the shot. Well, then they changed their tune. Those of us who have had Covid, they’re telling us that even though we’ve had it—we have natural immunity—now that we still have to get a shot. And it’ll be over my dead body that I get a shot. I will not. I won’t do it and they better not touch my kids either.”

Or my goodness, you cannot fix stupid. Does Palin not know that science is an ever-evolving thing and as COVID grew and mutated and spread, perhaps the way we treated ourselves also changed.

Over her dead body? Careful what you wish for, dumbass.

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Anthony Fauci, White House medical advisor, on the idea that mask wearing on flights may be here indefinitely:

“I think when you’re dealing with a closed space, even though the filtration is good, that you want to go that extra step when you have people—you know, you get a flight from Washington to San Francisco, it’s well over a five-hour flight.”

You’re crammed in like sardines and social distancing does not happen. I wore a mask the entire flight to and from Oregon, and I will probably continue.

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Penn Jillette, magician, actor, musician, inventor, television presenter, and author, on so-called ‘Christians:

“The question I get asked by religious people all the time is, without God, what’s to stop me from raping all I want? And my answer is: I do rape all I want. And the amount I want is zero. And I do murder all I want, and the amount is zero. The fact that these people think that if they didn’t have this person watching over them that they would go on killing, raping rampages is the most self-damning thing I can imagine.”

I don’t need God to tell me not to lie cheat steal rape and murder, but if you do, perhaps you might need a rethink.

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Dolly Parton, on after breaking three Guinness World Records—for the most hits on the U.S. Hot Country Songs chart by a female artist … she’s had 109 …for the female with the most decades on the U.S. Hot Country Songs chart … she’s charted in each of the last seven decades … and the record for most number one hits on the U.S. Hot Country Songs chart by a female artist …25 of her songs hit the top spot:

“This is the kind of stuff that really makes you very humble and very grateful for everything that’s happened. I had no idea that I would be in Guinness World Records this many times! I am flattered and honored. I’ve had a lot of people help me get here. Thanks to all of you and all of them for helping me have all of this. I’ve loved being able to make a living in the business that I love so much. I’ve been so fortunate to see my dreams come true, and I just hope to continue for as long as I can. You’re going to have to knock me down to stop me!”

I don’t think anyone could stop Dolly!

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I Didn't Say It ...

Andrew Cuomo, Governor of New York, responding to the news that _____  has officially changed his primary residence from Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago in Florida:

"Good riddance. It's not like he paid taxes here anyway ... He's all yours, Florida."

And Florida kinda deserves him.

Just sayin’.

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Sean Doolittle, World Series winning Washington Nationals pitcher, will not be attending the congratulatory meeting with _____:

"There's a lot of things, policies that I disagree with, but at the end of the day, it has more to do with the divisive rhetoric and the enabling of conspiracy theories and widening the divide in this country. At the end of the day, as much as I wanted to be there with my teammates and share that experience with my teammates, I can't do it. I just can't do it."

He wins on principle, too.

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Sean Hannity, losing it over the impeachment inquiry:

 “What we are about to see play out is just a big show trial kind of what you would see in Cuba, the former Soviet Union, Venezuela, even Iran. The political target is afforded zero rights. You see this, we got it right here. This is not worth anything, this offers none of the protections and due process that Newt Gingrich afforded Bill Clinton. This is all in the hands of one guy. Adam Schiff gets to decide unilaterally and he is compromised in the case, and corrupt, and a liar, a congenital liar. Public proceedings, where the outcome is predetermined regardless of facts.”

I love how he says how it was Gingrich that went after Clinton, but then claims Schiff is the only Democrat going after _____.

Hannity has lost the ability to lie convincingly, or even be enraged.

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Aaron Sorkin, screenwriter, director, producer, and playwright, coming for Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg for allowing political ads on the site because there are Free Speech, even when they lie:

“I admire your deep belief in free speech. But this can’t possibly be the outcome you and I want, to have crazy lies pumped into the water supply that corrupt the most important decisions we make together. Lies [like the Super PAC ad that falsely claimed Joe Biden paid a Ukrainian attorney general $1 billion to stop an investigation into his son] that have a very real and incredibly dangerous effect on our elections and our lives and our children’s lives. Every square inch of that is a lie and it’s under your logo. That’s not defending free speech, Mark, that’s assaulting truth. In most cases, in a democracy, I believe people should be able to see for themselves what politicians they may or may not vote for are saying and judge their character for themselves. If I’d known you felt that way, I’d have had the Winklevoss twins invent Facebook.”

Sorkin wrote the screenplay for The Social Network.

Look, Zuckerberg is not about Free Speech, he’s about the coins, and if people with coins want to lie on Facebook in their political ads, he’s fine as long as the checks clear.

Sidenote: in The Social Network the Winklevoss twins were played by My-Husband-In-My-Head Armie Hammer. That’s all.

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Brian J. Smith, actor … Sense8 and Treadstone …  coming out as gay and growing up queer in Texas:

“I was terrified. At school I really couldn’t fit in anywhere. I wasn’t a jock or a nerd. Forget about any [LGBTQ+] union or groups. There was absolutely nothing. I was completely alone. I heard all the names: pussy, faggot. I was constantly having to check myself and make sure I wasn’t looking at someone too long or making someone feel uncomfortable. A lot of my work is about that. The things that move me as an actor are those echoes that come up [about being gay].”

Welcome out, Brian, and know that just by coming out, you are helping all the younger LGBTQ community to come out and be themselves and know that they are okay.

And so, please accept as our gift, from HOMO HQ, the Official Coming Out Toaster Over™ and a copy of The Gay Agenda.

PS We’ve been watching Treadstone and you’re awfully hot. Just sayon’.

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Kerr Smith, former Dawson’s Creek actor, on being half of network television’s first gay kiss almost twenty years ago:

“We were the first ones to do that. It was a crazy experience back then but you’re right, look at every single show now, it’s pretty amazing. There’s always a gay storyline, or a lesbian storyline or whatever. I was talking to Casey [Cott, on Riverdale] and he’s playing pretty much the same character I played on Dawson’s. I remember the day when Kevin Williamson came down to … where we shot, and he took me out, he said, ‘Kerr, let’s go get some coffee.’ I’m going, ‘Oh no, am I fired?’ And he throws this idea, ‘We want to go down a different avenue with Jack,’ and I go, ‘What does that mean?' Obviously, he always had the intention of making one of his characters gay, he was still in the closet at that point and every character in ‘Dawson’s Creek’ is an extension of Kevin Williamson. My storyline ended up being largely Greg Berlanti’s. It was an intense experience and I remember calling everybody that I respected and said, ‘Hey should I do this?’ Doing the first male-male kiss, I remember it was intense. Josh Jackson, I remember it was the only time he came into work when he didn’t have to work. I’m glad we did it and it was part of history.”

It was probably the first time that a lot of young gay men saw themselves, or who they could be, on television, and that counts for something.

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Billy Porter, on the challenges of being black and gay in Hollywood:

“We must speak life into ourselves, even when everyone around us is doing the opposite. I never saw anything that looked like me, and visibility … when we see ourselves reflected back… is so important.”

I don’t imagine Billy saw himself in Kerr, so much, but he did see a glimpse of what might be. And Billy is now doing that for a lot of gay black men.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Okay, so you’ve all heard about the Sony Email Hack? If not, here’s the tale:

Sony Pictures made a movie called The Interview starring James Franco and Seth Rogan as a couple of moronic — typecasting much? — reporters who are co-opted by the US government into traveling to North Korea and killing Kim Jong Un.

Assassination as comedy! Funny stuff. Well, North Korea didn’t think so — imagine how we’d feel if North Korea made a movie about assassinating our President … yeah — and called it an act of war, and then suddenly, Sony Picture’s emails were hacked and shown to the world; side note: North Korea denies any involvement in the hack.

Some of the emails bash Angelina; Leo, too. Channing Tatum comes off as kind of a dim-bulb. Scott Rudin is a jerk. That’s about it … or so we thought. The hackers, who call themselves the Guardians of Peace, released a statement saying they’re responsible for the hack and that there might be some kind of terroristic attack if The Interview opens as scheduled on Christmas Day; Homeland Security says the threat isn’t credible, and neither is The Interview.

So, did the hackers threaten us with an act of terrorism, or is the real act of terrorism another James Franco and Seth Rogan hot mess? You know where I stand …

Jon Hamm recently confessed that the reason you’ll never see him play a superhero like Superman or Batman or Birdman is because at 43-years-old he’s too old for that mess, He admits to being offered some superhero roles, but didn’t take them because he’s nearing the age where his superhero’s weakness will be Erectile Dysfunction and Clogged Arteries:

“The deals that they make you do are so draconian. And, of course, you are signed on for not only the movie that you are signed on for … but at least two more that you haven’t read and you have no idea what they are going to be and all the crossover ones you are going to have to do. For me to sign on now to do a superhero movie would mean I would be working until I am 50 as that particular superhero.”

But, BUT, if he took on a superhero role, might he play the Hammaconda? I’d wait in line to see that superpower!

Back to The Sony Hack, and more Diva behavior exposed. Oh, no, not from Mariah or Ariana or Nicki or Beyoncé, but from that other diva, Alex Trebek.

A recently released email shows that Trebek refused to give in to the demands of a stage mom, and told Sony he would end his 30-year run as “Jeopardy” host if they had a problem with it and it went down like this: 

During a taping of “Jeopardy! Kids” one contestant ran offstage in tears when she was eliminated. Well, her mother — and no, even though it sounds like her, it wasn’t Dina Lohan — was furious that La Trebek didn’t bother to help the girl, talk to the girl, try to calm her down, even though she eventually stopped sobbing and returned to the set to watch another episode as an audience member. But Dina, er, her mother wasn’t going to let Trebek off the hook, and complained about him in a letter to producers:

“If he had taken the time, he would have known, like you do, that my daughter is not a sore loser, and does not become emotional solely over losing a game. … She was upset about not being able to completely play the game to the end [and] I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for that.”

Producers responded by saying “Alex’s intentions were good” and that they would ask him to re-tape the segment to appease the spoiled brat of a mother, but … Trebek wasn’t having it and sent his own email to Sony:

“If you all think I should retape the opening, I will, but I want to say that for 30 years I’ve defended our show against attacks inside and out. But it doesn’t seem to operate both ways. When I’m vilified, corporate (and certainly legal) always seems to say ‘don’t say anything and it’ll blow over,’ and I’m not feeling support from the producers, and that disappoints the s—t out of me.  If I’m making mistakes and saying things you don’t like, maybe it’s time for me to move on. It’s not a threat, but I want to let you know how I’m feeling.”

The show was not retaped. Alex is still a diva, the child is fine, her mother, however, is seeing a shrink three times a week. I’m guessing.

I know Kim Kardastrophe is the most vain human being on the planet. I mean, who is thrilled beyond belief to have their ass on the front cover of a magazine? Kim Kardastrophe. So, it’s no surprise that she posted a photo on Instagram where you can clearly see a little sliver of NorthSouthEastWest.

That’s right! The Kash Kow cropped her own child out of a photo. But her explanation for doing so is the best part, as she Tweeted her explanation:

"Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!"

So, the baby was too tired to stay awake, but Mama was too involved in her own ‘look’ to put her down for a nap before snapping a selfie? 

That’s our Kardastrophe. Mother of the Year! Joan Crawford Edition.

Onto another Diva, Beyoncé. She recently released a retrospective video for the new re-release of her self-titled album and in it she talks about the woes of being famous and how as a celebrity no one views you as a human.

Hold up while I get a tissue. How hard it must be for her to be a multi-millionaire and a media whore — seriously, she uses the media like most folks use toilet paper — and how no one sees her as human because most humans don’t release videos of themselves whining about the hardships of their pampered life.

She also claims that no one knows who she is, not even herself, and talks about her mom, her craft, her weave, her clothes her jewels … My.Heart.Bleeds.

Someone needs to step off the pedestal.

Meanwhile back at Kim Kardastrophe and her recent revelations on what it was like to date Kanye West … before they married and began spending all their time apart. Kim shared their secrets to a healthy and happy relationship, saying it all started when they were dating:

“When we first started dating it was rude if we brought our phones with us out, so I learned from him not to bring my phone.”

But, Kim, gasp, how will you know if you’re trending if you don’t have your phone? How will you be able to chronicle the minutiae that is your life if you can InstaTweetBook?

“We have rules at the table. If we are eating at a restaurant, we’ll wait to do it (take pictures) when we are done eating.”

Wait. So, you’re having dinner with your boyfriend, turned husband, turned disappearing father, turned soon-to-be-ex and you can’t take pictures? Her head really is as big as her ass.

So, Lindsay Lohan is done with Speed-the-Plow but has decided to stay in London permanently, and that sound you hear is America breathing a sigh of relief.

In an interview with The Guardian Lohan talks about how she desperately wants to do another play and how she’s never, ever moving back to LA — and that sound you hera is LA breathing a sigh of relief:

 “In LA I didn’t know what to do apart from go out every night. That’s when my friends were free. And I would go out and there would be all these cameras there and that’s when it became difficult.”

It’s always the cameras fault that she got high and drove drunk and kidnapped people and stole jewelry, right? But, as I said, the good news is that she’s planning to make London her permanent home and do more plays because she’s an “actor” y’all, who spoke of the kind of work she wants to do over there:

“I would like to do a period piece at least. I enjoyed having a British accent when I did Parent Trap so I guess I am halfway there.”

Wait, am I the only who thinks when Lindsay says period piece she’s thinking menstruation in a corset? And, wait for it, she thinks that because at age nine she did a British accent so she’s halfway to being British.

I see Lohan stuffed inside a FedEx box being returned to America any day now because England didn’t order her and she doesn’t fit. But, I’m sorry, London, she’s yours now, and there is an upside: Lindsay doesn’t drive in London so the streets are that much safer.

More Sony fall-out? Okay … well, Aaron Sorkin has been all over the Sony Hack stories. There are lots of emails about Sorkin, like one from Amy Pascal telling people that he’s broke and dating some coworker, so he decided to write an NYT op-ed piece called “The Sony Hack and the Yellow Press” where he blames anyone and everyone for releasing and reading and talking about those private emails.

Well, he only feels that way because of what he says in his leaked emails, like the ones to Maureen Dowd — the NYT columnist and his ex-girlfriend — about the state of sexism in Hollywood and the lack of good roles for women.

Interesting topic, but what is most interesting are his own views on the subject. In an email that Sorkin sent to Dowd, he talks of Hollywood’s women problem, and of a Dowd NYT about Cate Blanchett’s Oscar speech where she took Hollywood to task for its treatment of women. In her column, Dowd quotes Sony bigwig Amy Pascal, who discusses the “paltry” amount women in Hollywood make versus men, and how female directors face a “mountain of rejection” and “the whole system is geared for them to fail.”

Sorkin liked the column, but said that he believed that “the degree of difficulty” in Blanchet’s performance in Blue Jasmine was “nothing close to the degree of difficulty” to any of the nominated male lead performances that year.

Yes, men work harder than women. But he goes on:

“That’s why year in and year out, the guy who wins the Oscar for Best Actor has a much higher bar to clear than the woman who wins Best Actress. Cate gave a terrific performance in Blue Jasmine but nothing close to the degree of difficulty for any of the five Best Actor nominees. … Phil Hoffman had to transform himself into Truman Capote while Julia Roberts won for being brassy in Erin Brockovich.”

I am imagining that Sorkin might have trouble lining up any actresses for his next project since they don’t work as hard, aren’t as talented, and should never make the same money as men.

The Sony Hack … it keeps on giving.

Aaron Sorkin and The Witless Bully

Television [The West Wing] and film [The Social Network] writer, Aaron Sorkin, is very well known for having a way with words, and he's taken his pen and aimed it directly at......The Mama Grizzly Bore [MGB].

This should be good.

Sorkin took to The Huffington Post to air his grievances about S***h P***n's recent defense of her on-camera slaughter of a caribou during the last episode of her "reality" show "S***h P***n's Alaska.' 

MGB, who fancies herself a frontierswoman, hunting and shooting her own food because that's the way real Americans roll, tried to head off attacks of her hunting escapade in some pre-show Tweets: "Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation of tonight's episode."

Well, Sorkin didn't want to save his condemnation of MGB, and replied in a lengthy piece entitled, 'In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had it Coming.'

Sorkin, like most sane people who aren't drinking the Grizzly Bore Kool-Aid, wasn't buying the assertion that no one who has used or eaten animal products has a right to critique the gleefully bloody nature of MGB's hunting foray: "You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion. You were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals." 

In fact, he went further, and said that MGB's victim was "the first moose ever murdered for political gain." 

And so it went on: "You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully."

And a witless bully she is, posing for pretty pictures with her kill. Now, before you rant and rave that people hunt all the time, well, blibbety blah blay blue, I know. But Plain doesn't hunt for food; she hunts for publicity. She isn't killing to feed her family, she's killing fort airtime.

See, the kill didn't go down quite like MGB showed you. It took the Wasilla Nitwit six shots, the use of two different rifles, and help from her Daddy to bag her prey. Quite the hunter.

Sorkin wrote, "Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart."

Sorkin, then goes on to address one--just one of the many--criticisms of 'S***h P***n's Alaska'--that the show is not representative of MGB's own experience in the state; he notes that she seems awestruck to be witnessing many of the things she's sharing with her audience, and he calls he a "phony pioneer girl."

Aaron Sorkin: "I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was."

Well, MGB has to look pretty for the camera at all times. I wonder if Lord & Taylor supplied the wardrobe?

And, knowing how the MGB likes to lash back at her critics, Sorkin disclosed his own 2001 arrest for cocaine possession, knowing it would be brought to light by MGB mouthpieces in response to his criticism. 

But he ends nicely, and succinctly: "I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, S***h P***n is deranged and The Learning Channel should be ashamed of itself." 

Well-played. Mister Sorkin, well-played.

Aaron Sorkin's HuffPo piece