The Funny Papers

Jesse Duquette, Ed Wexler, Adam Zyglis, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson, Slyngstad,  Joe Thibodeau, Daniel Boris,

Bobservations

The other day as we were running errands a song came on the radio by an artist I don’t much care for, though this particular tune is one of my favorites. So naturally I began signing while driving:

“♫♪Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache; it's everywhere that you go. Come on, vogue. Let your body move to the music. Hey, hey, hey!♪♫”

I turned to Carlos and said:

“Sing it!!!”

“I don’t know this song!”

I nearly drove off the road.

“What kind of homosexual are you that you don’t know ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? … ♫♪ Come on, vogue. Let your body go with the flow. You know you can do it.♪♫”

“Sing it! ♫♪ All you need is your own imagination, so use it, that's what it's for.♪♫”

“I don’t know the words!”

“Bad gay! Very Bad gay!!!  ♫♪ Beauty's where you find it, not just where you bump and grind it. Soul is in the musical, that's where I feel so beautiful. Magical, life's a ball so get up on the dance floor.♪♫”

And then we get to “the rap” and I start doing all the Vogue hand gestures and now Carlos is desperate for me to stop singing and, as he says it:

“PAY ATTENTION ON THE ROAD!!!”

“NOPE!!!"

"♫♪ Greta Garbo and Monroe, Dietrich and DiMaggio, Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean
On the cover of a magazine. Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean, picture of a beauty queen. Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire. Ginger Rogers, dance on air.

They had style, they had grace; Rita Hayworth gave good face. Lauren, Katherine, Lana too. Bette Davis, we love you! Ladies with an attitude; fellas that were in the mood.

Don't just stand there, let's get to it, strike a pose, there's nothing to it … Vogue, vogue, Vogue, vogue, Vogue, vogue.♪♫”

And now we are pulling down our driveway and I am opening the garage door and Carlos says to me, hold onto your pearls, clutch, my angels, clutch, for Carlos says to me …”

“I thought RuPaul sang this song.”

I crashed into the house and then called HOMO HQ for a Vogue-tervention.

This Tuxedo Memory is from June 2018 and is entitled:

Tuxedo ... Holding A Grudge Because His Two Dads Went Away

He never liked it when we went away, even for just a day trip, and always gave us the cold shoulder upon our return!

Sorry y’all, but watching Alec Baldwin weeping in court when the judge announced his involuntary manslaughter case was dismissed mid-trial took me back to a line from Mommie Dearest, when Joan was having a fit and one of her suitors said:

“If you're acting, you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine.”

Disappear, Alec, until the family’s wrongful death civil suit is filed.

The Felon’s son, The Dumb One, says Daddy didn’t get any stitches after he was shot at a rally in Pennsylvania over the weekend, but that he has a “nice flesh wound” from the shooting.

But Daddy claims the bullet pierced his ear, so wouldn’t that leave a hole, well, another hole in The Felon’s head? Oh, and The Felon campaign has not released any medical reports about the injury or even named any doctors who treated him.

Huh, that sounds odd. Especially given that The Felon is a whining little narcissist and would love the extra attention.

:::cough::: Staged event ::: cough:::

I saw this on Facebook:

Imagine being taxed to build a sports stadium, to have a millionaire charge you admission. So you can cheer on millionaires playing a game that’s meant to divert your attention from being exploited by a ruling class who does things like … tax you to build a stadium.

Tax the rich.

Nothing new to see here: The Felon fell asleep at the Republican National Convention on the first night. If this keeps up he’ll be in a coma by Thursday.

Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders Aunt Lydia told the Republican National Convention that:

“Not even an assassin’s bullet could stop him. God Almighty intervened because America is one nation under God, and He is not done with [The Felon.”

I’d like to ask Huckleberry about the firefighter that was killed at that rally and how come her so-called god didn’t save him but I don’t really think she cares because she didn’t even mention his name.

After that lump of Bible-thumping, lying hypocritical shiz, I need a palate cleanser and this picture of these two cats just makes me feel so much better.

Daniel Schröder is apparently some kind of artist, though my only question is: Would You Hit It?

It isn’t lost on too many people that the instant The Felon chose a running mate, Tim Scott’s gurlfriend vanished.

Meme Dump

Meme Dump