Random Musings

UPDATE: A judge has ruled that Barronelle Stutzman, owner of Arlene's Flowers in Richland, Washington, who refused to provide flowers to a gay couple for their wedding, has violated state consumer protection and anti-discrimination law because … oh yeah … discrimination is illegal and, well, wrong.

Good.

Now, howsabout that Vatican and The Gays?

See, the Vatican did something it has never done before; it gave a group of US gay and lesbian Catholics some VIP seats at Pope Francis' weekly general audience last week.

Hoo-ray … wait a minute …

The welcome wasn’t all that; the group, the New Ways Ministry, was only identified on the Vatican's list of attendees as a "group of lay people accompanied by a Sister of Loretto."

And the group was never acknowledged or announced; when a Vatican monsignor read the list of the different groups in attendance in St. Peter's Square, he skipped over The Gays altogether, and Pope Frankie failed to mention them, too.

Don’t ask, don’t tell … alive and well in Vatican City.

I don’t camp; well, I used to camp … on a sidewalk for concert tickets. But outdoors? In nature? Oh, honey … no. And I used to say that my idea of camping was a hotel without room service. But last night, while watching Modern Family, I heard my new favorite I Don’t Camp line:

If  you find me in the woods after three days, it means I've been dead for two.

Boo-yah!

Supermodel David Gandy turns thirty-five years old today. In a suit, in his drawers, always hot. That is all … carry on.

So, remember that time noted asshat Lance Armstrong swore up and down on a stack of Bibles that he never used performance enhancing drugs?

And then he confessed to Oprah that he’s a big fat liar and did use the drugs. And then he said, just the other day, that, if given the chance for a do-over, he’d still dope?

Well, apparently courts don’t like it when you commit perjury and an arbitration panel in Texas has ruled Lance Armstrong must pay a $10 million penalty for being a liar.

Now that’s dope.

Okay, it’s no secret that I don’t like Living Blow-Up Doll, AKA Taylor Swift, very much, if at all. But then I stumbled upon this photo of Swifty at the SNL 40th birthday bash sitting next to the Mama Grizzly Bore™ and couldn’t help but laugh.

Swifty’s doing that whole ‘hold your elbow close to your body so you don’t accidentally lay in on the armrest and the crazy grandma in the sequined mini doesn’t touch you.’

Plus, is it just me, or does the MGB™ look like Drunk Grandma at Christmas whilst wearing a dress that her daughter Blister wore back in 2011? Unemployment must not pay if MooseMeat can’t afford new rags.

So, in the Everything Old Is New — and Stupid — Again file comes the premiere of former Friends star Matthew Perry in a reboot of a 160s film and 1960s TV show, The Odd Couple.

Yes, nothing says fresh like a rehash of a fifty year old movie. But, given that it’s CBS — the network of old people … sorry old people, but it’s true — and given that it’s replacing 2.5 Men, which was basically The Odd Couple for the Aughts, I guess it does make sense.

I dunno because I won’t be watching.

So, I 'Like' Andy Borowitz on Facebook. He has that irreverent sense of humor I love so much, and so I'll share his Status Update from earlier in the week:

Racism is funny. Not.

So, y’all remember the story of South African Kyle Roux who learned that his image had popped up on a controversial billboard along a major highway in Virginia for a “No one is born gay” campaign. The billboard showed two pictures of Roux; in one, he wears a suit, while in the other he has on a T-shirt. And the caption read:

“Identical twins. One gay. One not. We believe twin research studies show nobody is born gay."

Trouble was, Roux is not a twin, and Roux is gay, and Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays [PFOX] never bothered to check because, well, liars lie.

Roux didn’t support the sign’s message, and even though PFOX has since taken down the sign, decided to strike back at the group on his own.

Planting Peace, a nonprofit organization based in Topeka, Kansas, erected a new sign down the road from where the PFOX billboard once stood, that looks eerily similar, though it contains a different message.  The new sign features new photographs of Roux with the caption:

“Dear PFOX: Identical twins? I’m not. I’m gay. Regardless of what you believe I was born gay. And I’m proud of who I am.”

PFOX isn’t talking because, well, liars lie and then they hide.

In Good News:

A recent survey of likely GOP voters in the 2016 election cycle showed that Republican voters in South Carolina ... yes, South Carolina ... find opposition to marriage equality mostly or totally unacceptable.

Times do change.

I Didn't Say It.....

Sir Elton John, on being "fed up" with being a treated like a second-class citizen in the US:

"In this country, we need more dialogue. We don't need any more stone throwing. We don't need any more vitriol. We need people to say, 'OK. I'm straight. You're gay. Let's get along. I'm Republican. You're Democratic. Let's work together.' I'm sick and tired of people being hateful to each other in this country Everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs and their own spirituality. The big difference is that the dogma of the church can be so hateful and divisive. It's stuck in the stone age. We don't live in the stone age anymore. The church is losing people left, right and center because people are fed up with the rhetoric that they're giving them."

I guess becoming a father has pushed Elton out into the pro-marriage, pro-equality spotlight. I remember when he said he didn't want to get married, and now, well, I think he's realizing that separate--i.e. civil unions--is not equal.

Megachurch pastor Joel Osteen, on the sin that is homosexuality:

"The scriptures shows that it's a sin. But you know, I'm not one of those that are out there to bash homosexuals and tell them that they're terrible people and all of that. I mean, there are other sins in the Bible too...I don't believe homosexuality is God's best for a person's life...."Well, it's strictly back to what the scripture says. I mean, I can't grab one part and say God wants you to be blessed and live an abundant life, and not grab the other part that says, you know what? You know, live that kind of life. So it comes back to the scripture. I'm not the judge. You know, God didn't tell me to go around judging everybody."

No, God didn't tell you to go around judging people.
You do that all on your own.

Tiffany, former pop star and one-hit wonder, on dating, and apparently outing, New Kids On The Block member Jonathan Knight:

"He turned gay later. I didn't do it, but he's fabulous, though. I had issues with that. I was thinking that I did. But, no....Now looking back while we were dating," she says. "He was so much fun. We used to do facials together. He was so easy to talk to."

Oh, Tiffany, honey, no one blames you for making anyone gay, because, well, you can't do that.
I will however hold you responsible for mall singers, Debbie Gibson, really bad pop music.
And Justin Bieber.

Jason Mraz, on not getting married until everyone has that right: 

"We both feel that in our engagement, we have a union that's really special and cant be broken. It's a sacred bond. The wedding would be nice for our family, our friends, our community -- our moms especially -- and so it puts us in the fight. We can't get married until [gay] marriage is legal and equal...I think giving people the right to marry will be a huge movement in civil rights."

It's nice to have such an ally for the LGBT community, and one who stands by his convictions, and keeps verbalizing them.
I love you, Jason. And when you can get married, I'll come to your wedding, and you can come to mine. Or, howsabout a nice double wedding?

Michael Musto, on what he sees as the hypocrisy of Calvin Klein:

"Calvin, darling, you're embarrassing yourself. What's worse, you're embarrassing the whole community. You were never really that much of a gay hero in the first place. Remember when you suddenly had a wife because, as AIDS made it uncool to be gay, you took the wussy way out and closeted yourself so you could sell more T shirts and perfume? That was a hideous approach and I screamed my lungs out about it--but it was better than now! Now you've hooked up with that almost-21-year-old ex-porn star, Nick Gruber, and you're fawning over him as if this were real love and not a massive late-life crisis being acted out for the horrified masses. It's not going to work!"

You know, I'm kinda with Musto on this.
I remember when Calvin Klein got "married" to Kelly, and I kept thinking, Kelly's a man, right?
Not cool, Calvin.

David Gandy, supermodel, on his tough life:

"People still just think Zoolander, and to come out with your pride and dignity intact is probably quite hard in this business. Now there are younger guys coming in who want to be models. I'm actually proud to say I'm a model now. You pay your dues of not being listened to, but now people are starting to say, 'Maybe this guy's onto something.'...Trust me to end up working in the only industry in the world where women get paid more than men, and treated loads better. We're trying to change that. In the hierarchy of a shoot, you have the photographer, the female model, the stylists, the assistants, then the male model. You are the lowest of the low."

I love me some David Gandy, but, come on, I imagine there are a lot tougher ways to earn a buck, or several million.

Tea Party supported, Senator Mike Lee, a Utah Repugnant--and I mean repugnant--on the violent rhetoric of the Teabaggers:

"The shooter wins if we, who’ve been elected, change what we do just because of what he did."

The shooter wins if people like Lee stop using violent words and images in their speeches and campaign ads?
No, you moronic fucktard, we win, because we become less about violence and more about civility, which is obviously something the Tea Party and its idiotic minions know nothing about.
They want to quell the speech of anyone who disagrees with them, but retain the right to inflict violence through words on the country.
That is unAmerican.

Porn star Reese Rideout, on being gay for pay:

"I can have sex at work without thinking about the other person because I'm genuinely straight. But gay sex is tough if you're straight. The first time I shot a scene with another man, it was oral sex, and I couldn't keep it up because I wasn't turned on."

But I'll bet you sprang a woody when you got that first paycheck, didn't you?
And I bet you keep springin' 'em just thinking about the money.
i love that he is genuinely straight but he takes it and gives it from both ends, probably, at times, simultaneously.
Yeah, straight, as in straight to the gay bar.


Christopher Ciccone, on his sister, Madonna, and her, um habit, of dating much younger men:

"I guess if she continues to date all these much younger guys, it could start to look creepy. But I think that a lot of Madonna's emotional needs are met by taking care of her children; these boyfriends must really be like a kind of distraction for her. She certainly isn't following societal values, but then again my sister never has and probably never will either."

Sounds to me like a little green-eyed monster.
Maybe Chris is a little jealous of Madonna's boy toys.