I Didn't Say It

Seth Rogen, actor, criticizing Emmy producers for having the show during a pandemic:

“Let me start by saying: there’s way too many of us in this little room. What are we doing? They said this was outdoors—it’s not! They lied to us. We’re in a hermetically sealed tent right now. I would not have come to this. Why is there a roof? It’s more important that we have three chandeliers than that we make sure we don’t kill Eugene Levy tonight. That is what has been decided. This is insane. I went from wiping my groceries to having Paul Bettany sneeze in my face—so, that’s a big week! If anyone’s gonna sneeze in my face, Paul, I want it to be you. …All right, that’s all the jokes I wrote.”

It was a crowded room in a pandemic.

Not very smart.

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Mary Trump, on who is the dumbest member of that family:

“Donnie [Junior]  is a deeply unintelligent person. I’ve been asked this, who’s the stupidest one, and it’s him. He has no core. He has no ideology. [He can] out-racism anybody, he’ll out-misogyny anybody, he’ll shoot as many innocent animals as possible to get whatever passes for affection in my family.”

Sad. Though I still think Eric is the Dumb one, while Junior is the drug addicted unhinged one and Ivanka is the daughter wife.

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Steve Bannon, on his webcast lying about the Big Lie:

“Rudy Giuliani is a man of the highest moral character. But you know what? He doesn’t back down from a fight. He’s going to take it on, right? Everything they say about him is a lie and eventually it’s proven true. You’re gonna start seeing this in Arizona tomorrow. The decertification process starts tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen. Should have started back in January. It’s starting tomorrow. And I don’t care if MSNBC—you know, Rachel Maddow is punching out. She wants out of here. She’d gone in April. She’s quitting. OK, you know why she’s quitting? She understands exactly what they did.”

Um, Steve, you tool. Rachel Maddow just extended her contract with MSNBC  and got a huge payday, so you might wanna rethink that falsehood.

And don’t get me started on Boozy Rudy’s “moral character" when you look like his drinking buddy.

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Mike Lindell, MyPillow Nutjob, on the “new” reinstatement day for Thing 45:

“Originally I had hoped for August and September. I asked all the lawyers just yesterday. We are taking this case to the Supreme Court before Thanksgiving. Now maybe Fox will report that today. You heard it here first because our case is ready. We are bringing it to the Supreme Court before Thanksgiving. This evidence is 100% non-subjective evidence. The Supreme Court, they’re going to vote 9-nothing to take it in. We will have this before the Supreme Court before Thanksgiving. That’s my promise to the people of this country. We’re all in this together. We worked very hard on this.”

Hey Mikey, take one of your pillows and press it over your face.

Asshat.

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Eric _____, the Dumb One, crying to Fox Business about all the subpoenas his crime family is getting:

“The problem with the Democrats is they dig so deep that they always find themselves. And the reason I’m frustrated about this is every single day since my father ran for president, my father and our entire family and our company has been under investigation. Every single day … we get subpoena after subpoena after subpoena. But, I mean, they weaponized the entire system in this country. They’ve weaponized the DOJ. They’ve weaponized our military. They weaponized the educational system in this country. They’ve weaponized the medical system in this country. The Democrats weaponize absolutely everything they can to use again their political opponents.”

The Democrats weaponized the DOJ? Oh Eric, if you don’t wanna be called the Dumb One you should really stop speaking.

PS Attorney Marc Mukasey, one of the lawyers representing the Dumb One’s in New York Attorney General Letitia James’s fraud investigation into the “Family Business: has withdrawn from representing Eric.

Uh oh.

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Tate Reeves, Mississippi GQP governor, criticizing President Biden’s vaccine mandates as an “attack” on “hard-working Americans”:

“The question here is not about what we do in Mississippi, it’s about what this president is trying to impose on the American worker. The reality is this is an attack by the president on hard-working Americans and hard-working Mississippians who he wants to choose between getting a jab in their arm and their ability to feed their families.”

Huh, so a vaccine which could save these workers lives is a bad thing but letting them go unvaxxed and perhaps die is good for the worker.

Tate, you’re giving Eric a run for the tile of The Dumb One.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Pete Hegseth, Fox & Friends co-host, on _____’s response to investigations:

“It’s interesting you hear the narrative from the left that they’re getting under his skin. I think it’s opposite. This guy has the thickest skin considering the investigations and the resistance he’s been under. And when he gets asked a question, he answers it.”

Does Hegseth get paid by the lie?

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Seth Rogen, actor, saying he regrets the homophobic jokes in some of his earlier films:

“We do not want people to feel bad when they’re watching our movies. I’ve had people come up to me and be like, ‘That made me feel like sh*t when I was in the movie theater and everyone was laughing about that.’ Like the ‘How I know you’re gay’ thing [from The 40-Year-Old Virgin], it’s something people have been like, ‘It’s not fun to be in the theater when people are laughing at that, knowing what they’re probably actually laughing at.’ And I don’t want anyone to have that experience watching our movies.”

Too bad it took him so long to learn it, but maybe others will now learn the same thing.

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Pete Buttigieg, on Colin Kaepernick’s right to take a knee during the national anthem, and on _____ going after the protesters:

"The way I feel about it is the flag that was on my shoulder when I served represented, among other things, our right to free speech. You don't have to like it, but one of the reasons we serve was to defend that right, the right of peaceful protest and the idea that we can protest what is wrong with our country. If the president had served, maybe he'd feel a little more strongly about some of those freedoms. And, I get that there's a lot of strong opinions about this, but that's part of why we served."

For freedom, something _____ wants to take away.

Use your right to Free Speech, often, and loudly.

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Scott Pelley, former CBS Evening News anchor, on being ousted for complaining about the news division’s “hostile work environment”:

“I lost my job because I wouldn’t stop complaining to management. Four or five years ago, I went to the [David Rhodes] president of the news division and explained to him that this hostile work environment couldn’t go on, for women and men. And he told me if I kept agitating about that internally then I’d lose my job. I went to [ousted CBS president Les Moonves], who told me he didn’t share my concerns, and so, having exhausted the possibilities in the news division, I went to the chairman of the CBS corporation who listened to me very concerned for an hour, asked me some penetrating questions about what was going on. I didn’t hear back from him but in the next opportunity in my contact, I was let go from the Evening News.”

Looks like CBS doesn’t want anyone to know about the way they treat their female employees?

Of course, with Moonves in the picture is anyone surprised.

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Grant Stinchfield, NRA TV host, in a money beg for the Hate Group:

“The battle for the soul of this nation has to be won. We have no choice but to win. So today I declare this: you are either with us or against us. The NRA fights for all our freedoms, protecting the Second [Amendment] first, because once the Second is gone, they all implode. That’s why they come after us. That’s why they pounce on the NRA like hyenas feeding off prey. They want us destroyed. The only problem is, we aren’t prey and we can’t be destroyed. So here is the reality, the NRA wins, the NRA is the most successful civil rights group in the history of this nation. They can kick and scream about how we get it done. They can try to make all of us, the members, look bad. But in the end, we do get it done. We always have and always will. To feed this machine, of course, takes money. It is a massive engine that runs on all pistons firing. The NRA’s winning record cannot be disputed.”

First off, any group that wants to continue selling assault weapons after children were murdered at Sandy Hook literally has no soul, so STFU.

Secondly, actually, it’s without the First Amendment that everything crumbles, because not everyone wants or needs a weapon, but everyone wants and needs to ability to think and say what they choose, so, again, STFU.

Lastly, STFU.

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Mackenzie Bezos, ex-wife of Amazon billionaire, and adulterer, Jeff Bezos, promising to giveaway $17 billion to charities over the course of her lifetime and in her will:

“There are lots of resources each of us can pull from our safes to share with others—time, attention, knowledge, patience, creativity, talent, effort, humor, compassion. In addition to whatever assets life has nurtured in me, I have a disproportionate amount of money to share. My approach to philanthropy will continue to be thoughtful. It will take time and effort and care. But I won’t wait. And I will keep at it until the safe is empty.”

I like that, a lot, but let’s be clear, Mackenzie could give away 95% of all her money this instant and still be set for life, so, yeah, you know.

Still, it’s nice …

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It's Snarkurday!

All this talk of treating _____ and his co-criminals like they treat everyone else, by kicking them out of restaurants or refusing to serve them, has me annoyed, but Seth Rogen had the right idea.

Rogen was at a recent event hosted by former GOP presidential candidate loser Mitt Romney to promote brain health and had stopped to take a photo with a couple of fans, one of whom told Rogen:

“My father wants to meet you.”

Rogen says he saw House Speaker Paul Ryan approaching:

“My whole body puckered, I tensed up, and I didn’t know what to do. And I turned around and Paul Ryan was walking towards me.”

The two men shook hands before Ryan asked for a photo.

“I look over and his kids are standing right there expectantly, clearly fans of mine, and I said, ‘No way, man!’ And I couldn’t stop. I said, ‘Furthermore, I hate what you’re doing to the country at this moment and I’m counting the days until you no longer have one iota of the power that you currently have.’”

That’s how you do it.

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Wow, Hell has clearly frozen over because Kim Kardastrophe says she’s done with selfies.

Seriously, the woman who has posted boob shots and butt shots and nude shots and lip shots and waist shots and hair shots and kid shot all over social media says she’s done.

“I don’t take selfies anymore. I don’t really like them…as much. I just, like, kinda moved on, like, it’s not all about, like, sitting there taking selfies. I used to spend so much of my time taking selfies … I just would like to live in real-time a little bit more. Um, I don’t mind pictures, but I’m just not on my phone as much as I used to be.”

Rrrrrrrright. I’ll believe it when she actually does it. Hell, I wont even believe it then because Media Whore.

Oops, I spoke too soon … minutes, seriously, minutes, after saying she’s “moved on” from selfies, the Big Assed media Whore shared a risqué selfie in a bra and skimpy panties on Instagram.

And then she celebrated #NationalSelfieDay with another photo.

The woman clearly has no idea what words are or what they mean.

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Heather Locklear, Again.

Heather had another messy weekend. After being hospitalized last week for physically assaulting both her parents and then threatening to shoot herself, Locklear came home.

But no sooner than she had arrived, a call was made to police by someone in the home to report a disturbance and when the police arrived they found Drunk Heather. Well, they figured it didn’t matter much because she was drunk and shiz at home, so they left.

Then they got a second call a little while later, and came back to find Locklear, ahem, “extremely agitated.” That was putting it mildly because Locklear ALLEGEDLY punched one of the deputies who was trying to separate her from her family.

The paramedics were called, and the messiness continued. Heather was strapped to the gurney, but ALLEGEDLY got a foot loose and kicked an EMT. She was taken to a hospital, where she was eventually checked out and was subsequently booked into jail held on $20,000 bail.

This has been quite the year for Locklear …

In February, she was arrested for beating her boyfriend.

In March she ALLEGEDLY threatened to shoot a police officer who tried to arrest her.

In March she was charged with four counts of battery.

She must have taken April and May off but …

In June she was hospitalized after threatening to shoot herself. In June she was arrested again.

Someone needs to call Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan and tell her to get her former daughter-in-law into rehab.

Or get a call out to TJ Hooker and tell him his former partner needs a room at Melrose Place Rehab.

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Okay, so we’ve all heard stories of folks trying to bring whatever animal they want onto a plane as their support animals, but this is a real story about a legitimate working dog brought on a plane by a blind women and rapper Ty Dolla $ign … don’t ask, I have no idea …who tried to get them thrown off a flight because he said he was allergic to the dog.

Seriously. Ty Dolla $ign—real name: Tyron William Griffin Jr—sat down in his eat on an Air Canada flight from Montreal to Ottawa when he spotted a seeing-eye dog near him. He got the person he was traveling with to ask the woman to … wait for it … get off the flight … because he was allergic to it.

Again. Seriously. The woman refused but offered Tyron an allergy pill, which he refused, because he said he had to perform that night and that’s when the flight crew stepped in on the side of the Seeing Eye Dog. They offered Tyron an entire back row to himself, but he wanted to stay in the seat he paid for and refused their offer.

Yes, he survived in the seat he paid for with the seeing eye dog nearby so clearly this was a case of a tiny man with a tiny dick making much ado about nothing.

Next time Tyron, why don’t you get a car and driver and then you can dictate who sits near you.

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Mel B is kind of a has-been, who’s hanging onto America’s Got Talent just to remain however relevant that show makes you. But since she’s just gone through a pricey divorce, she needs a way to make more coins.

Question is, how to do that? Oh, push the idea of a Spice Girls reunion, even though the other Spices are like, “Um, no.”

And yet this week, when she co-hosted the fourth hour of Today, she blabbed about how she and the other four–Posh, too—will be going on tour soon. But then host Hoda Kotb brought up the fact that Posh Victoria Beckham has already said there was no reunion tour EVER!

Mel B waved away that talk and said:

“She’s always bloody saying that — stop it! We are touring.” 

I think there will be a Spice Girls Reunion Tour with Mel B playing the role of All-Spice and the rest of the girls sitting in their homes, living their lives and just shaking their heads at how thirsty Mel B is these days.

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Terry Crews spoke about his own #MeToo experience back in October when he ALLEGED WME agent Adam Venit grabbed his crotch at a party in 2016. While a lot of folks gave Terry props for speaking up, others were not happy he was talking and now, erry says, he’s paying for speaking up.

Crews is currently suing Adam Venit and WME for assault, battery, sexual battery, sexual harassment, gender violence, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of fiduciary duty, negligence and negligent retention and supervision, and this week he testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee on behalf of the proposed Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights.

Crews also said he has faced retaliation for speaking out from Avi Lerner, producer of The Expendables franchise who ALLEGEDLY called Terry’s agent and warned of “trouble” unless he withdrew his civil suit against Adam Venit.

Sidenote: Avi Lerner himself has also recently been accused of sexual misconduct.

Well, Terry Crews refused to drop the suit, and now his role in The Expendables 4 has been cut even though he was in the first three films. Crews says:

“This same producer is under his own…investigation. Abusers protect abusers – and this is one thing I had to decide, whether I was going to draw the line on. Am I going to be a part of this or am I gonna take a stand, and there are projects I had to turn down.”

Originally, Crews never wanted to talk about or report what ALLEGEDLY happened to him because he thought he’d be “laughed out of” the police station or be blacklisted from Hollywood or that his career might suffer, but he chose to speak up upon being inspired and empowered by everyone else coming forward with their stories.

It’s also worth noting that Sylvester Stallone, star of The Expendables, is also currently being investigated for sexual assault and let’s not even discuss that other actor in the film, Mel Gibson.

Might be best for Crews to distance himself from predators and the films they make.

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Okay, way back in October 2016, Azealia Banks attended a party with rapper RZA at Russell Crowe’s hotel suite in Beverly Hills. 

An ALLEGEDLY drunk Azealia was thrown out after getting violent with other guests, but she’s always said that Crowe ejected her from the party by choking her, spitting on her, and calling her the n-word.

Crowe was never charged, but Azealia Banks doesn’t care about that; now she wants to sue only she doesn’t have the coins and so …wait for it … she’s started a GoFundMe campaign called “Sue Crowe for spitting on AB”:

“Russell Crowe spit on me at a party in 2016 and denied it, had a group of people gaslight me causing irreparable damage to my acting career and my reputation as well as loads of emotional damage. Whatever money comes of this will be donated to ocean clean up charities.

This isn’t about a big pay day for me, it’s about letting the world know that black women are victims to the same sort of disgusting violence men in Hollywood deal out to women and it’s important to send a message that black women also deserve justice and will get justice in these situations. Crowe called me a nigger, choked me, and spat on me…if I were a white singer he wouldn’t have even thought about laying a finger on me. So many things like this happen in the entertainment industry and it’s time that ALL these perpetrators get reprimanded so they STOP this violent behavior!!”

Azealia has a goal of $100,000, and she’s already got $2,043.

I think maybe she start a campaign money to see a shrink because this girl has issues with just about everyone in the world and yet it’s never her fault.

Look inward, Azealia. It’s you.

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Scarlett Johansson wants y’all to know that she never ever auditioned for the role of Tom Cruise’s real-life girlfriend so stop saying that.

See, after Tommy Grrrl’s beard contract with Penelope Cruz expired, the loons at $cientology HQ set out to find him a girlfriend who’d embrace the ramblings of L. Ron Hubbard—unlike non-zombies Nicole Kidman and Cruz—and Scarlett’s name came up.

Rumor has it that $cientology held an “audition” in 2004 that included ScarJo and now an ex-employee of Co$ spilled the tea to Megyn Kelly that he saw ScarJo’s name on a report about the “Girlfriend Auditions” and ScarJo is full-on angry at the idea.

Brendan Tighe, formerly part of Tommy’s security detail, says a report of the “audition” was accidentally sent to his printer and he remembers ScarJo’s name because it’s the only one he recognized. He also says $cientologist Erika Christensen had to stop being friends with ScarJo because her audition was a flop:

“Another actress, Erika Christensen, had to disconnect from Scarlett Johansson because it didn’t go well. That was in that report.”

Now Scarlett is speaking up:

“The very idea of any person auditioning to be in a relationship is so demeaning. I refuse for anyone to spread the idea that I lack the integrity to choose my own relationships. Only a man aka Brendan Tighe would come up with a crazy story like that.”

Funny that, because Scarlett Johansson didn’t feel it at all demeaning to play the role of an Asian woman on film or to dine with Woody Allen and call him a man of “integrity” so I’m not sure how much I believe Miss J.

Just sayin’.

Still, Tommy eventually settled on Katie Holmes and we all know how that turned out, so ScarJo should feel relieved her audition tanked.

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Camille Grammer has always been one of my favorite Housewives and this week Camille spilled the tea on how ex-husband Kelsey Grammer treats her. She claims that ever since he opened up a bank vault and let her carry out as much cash as she could, he acts like she no longer exists. Though they have two children together he refuses to speak to Camille personally and has all conversations channeled through lawyers.

Seriously. This week, Kelsey did an interview and couldn’t stop talking about how his current wife, Kayte Walsh, is a perfect angel and helps him so much with taking care of his three children who are all under the age of six and, well, Camille had some words to share via Twitter:

“I don’t begrudge him his happiness. What’s unnerving is that fact I was there to help him get through some of his hardships and supported his career and his sobriety. I was right by his side and he acts like I never existed that’s disappointing. We were together through his success I was there during the writers’ strike and the cancellation of Back to You. We moved the company to our home in Malibu. I sat at his bedside for 8 days straight while he was in the cardiac intensive care unit in NYC. I read him poetry and helped washed his hair. Now I don’t exist. We have two beautiful children from our union and I was blessed to have shared those years of my life with him. We have both moved on. Just wished it ended in a more civil manner.”

Well, you know, Kelsey has been married a slew of times, so Camille had to have known it wouldn’t work for long. Still, she gave up Kelsey Grammer and ended up with silver fox David Meyer.

That’s what I call marrying up.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Those Kardastrophes ruin it for everyone. No, not Kim Kardastrophe or even Kanye Kardastrophe, I’m talking NorthSouthEastWest Kardastrophe ruining Fashion Week for babies! See, during this years’ New York Fashion Week, little North threw not one but two front-row hissy fits. Kim was so embarrassed; she took North backstage and left her there while she returned to her seat. What a wonderful mother!

Now, it’s not her fault; she has a lunatic for a father and a famewhore for a mother who thinks that the front-row at a fashion show is the best place for a toddler.

Well, now Nuclear Wintour has put her foot down and officially banned all children from runway shows by telling designers not to allow toddlers on the front row at any fashion show that she attends.

Now if only Anna would ban spoiled brats and porn stars, we’d never see Kim or Kanye at Fashion Week again!

This makes me laugh … the thief who stole Lupita Nyong’o‘s $150,000 pearl Oscar dress has apparently left it on a bathroom floor after he attempted to have it appraised and learned the pearls weren’t real. And then he actually called TMZ to say he took two of the pearls down to the Garment District in LA and learned they were fake so he returned the dress to the hotel.

To top it off, the people at Calvin Klein never said if the pearls were real or fake, and the only person who represented the orbs as real and valued the dress at $150K was Lupita’s stylist.

Francesco Costa, Women’s Creative Director of Calvin Klein, said this:

“Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not. The source awesomely adds, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

The thief was apparently all bent out of shape and said he called TMZ just to “expose Hollywood’s fake bullshit” but he just comes off looking like a moron thinking he was, what, going to pawn a $150,000 peal dress and not get nabbed.

Stupid is a stupid does.

Wow. Her dressing room hasn’t even been fumigated yet and already people are coming for Kelly Osborne’s Fashion Police gig.

The two front-runners, and I mean they’re a couple of heifers racing down a chute into the rodeo ring, are Khloe Kardastrophe and NeNe Leakes. Ryan Seacrest, who practically runs E! is said to be Team Khloe while UsWeekly says NeNe is in it to win it.

A source close to Khloe — it’s Khloe, really — says, “She was supposed to do it last time and passed. She may consider doing it again but the offer would have to be really high. It’s a lot of extra work for her.”

‘Extra work’? Bitch, please. Khloe has never had a job.

As for NeNe, rumor has it that shortly after The Great Joan Rivers™ passed away, NeNe’s name was bandied about as a replacement.

Again. Bitch, please. Kill the show already. It has been the same without JR.

And ... women who dress like this are going to be Fashion Police?

There’s always been the idea that the Kennedy’s are America’s Royal Family, and it’s kinda true … in that some of them are spoiled, self-indulgent, pampered, drunk in public and dumb.

Like Robert Kennedy Jr.’s underage daughter, Kyra, who made a scene when she was refused entry at club Lava at the Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona an upstate New York recently.

The 19-year-old made a drunken stink at the club when security didn’t accept her ID — a passport belonging to her 26-year-old half-sister, Kick.

One witness — and it could’a been Lohan because it was at a nightclub and that girl lives in nightclubs — said, “A security guard took Kick’s passport from Kyra and asked her to recite her birth date, and she didn’t know it. He then caught her trying to look up Kick’s birthday on Wikipedia on her phone. 

The security guard then refused to return the passport, and Kyra started shouting all this stuff, including, ‘I am a Kennedy, Google me. If you don’t let me in, the governor will be calling.’”

Lovely. Her grandfather would be so proud.

I just love a Bitter Old Queen Fight … and I don’t mean Carlos and I have a spat over breakfast about who didn’t do the laundry ... I mean a Global Bitter Old Queen Fight.

Y’all remember when Madge took a tumble at the BRIT Awards after a dancer tried to remove the cape she was wearing — to reveal her matador outfit — and he ended up heels over tits on the floor? Well, afterwards Madge admitted the cape was tied too tightly and the staging wasn’t exactly as they had rehearsed, but she thanked Giorgio Armani for making the cape.

But it seems like Giorgio had his bikini briefs on backwards because he took a swipe at Madge for no apparent reason, saying the bull fighter’s cape that took her down was meant to be closed with an easy-to-undo hook but she wanted it tied instead:

“Madonna, as we all know, is very difficult. That’s all there was to it.”

Okay, so Madge changed the closure on the cape, but she’s the one who took the fall. Why is Bitter Old Queen Giorgio throwing shade at Bitter Old Queen Madge? We all know she’s “very difficult”. What does that have to do with her fall though?

I think Giorgio is suggesting that when he wears the cape around his house and his scantily clad male dancers pull it off of him to reveal his toreador suit, he doesn’t fall down and go BOOM so why should she?

Sometimes these things write themselves …

Y’all remember Amy Pascal; the former Sony Pictures boss who emails were hacked and showed what a b***h she was and so she was kicked to the curb. Well, in this case ‘the curb’ was a downshift position to ‘on-the-lot producer’ in a smaller office once used by Seth Rogen.

But the movie is being delayed because of Rogan’s love of marijuana. The suite Pascal’s set to take over reeks of pot thanks to its most recent occupants, Rogen and his Interview directing partner Evan Goldberg.

The offices will be repainted in an attempt to get rid of the smell, as the ALLEGED stench had seeped into the flooring — some say they could smell it two floors away.

Rogan for his part is fuming — get it, fuming — about the story, at first calling it untrue, and then saying he was angry that they would call his pot ‘stench.’