Saturday, July 02, 2022

Snarky Thoughts

Two weeks ago, Beyoncé announced that Renaissance, her seventh studio album, will be released on July 29, and then last week she released the first single, Break My Soul, and this week she released the cover art ... with a semi-nude Beyoncé on a giant plastic horse.

My thought: she’s a stripper now?

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Well, it looks like Poor Little Bitch Girl—not a typo—Erika Jayne won’t be able to pawn off a pair of diamond earrings that cost $750,000 to pay her rent next month. She has been ordered by a judge to hand them over because her husband Tom  Girardi bought them with stolen money that was supposed to go to victims of the Lion Air Flight 610 crash.

My thought: couldn’t happen to a nicer grifter.

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When the Friends reunion aired on HBO Max last year, we were reminded again that the show was the whitest thing seen on TV even though it was set in the most diverse city in the world. And we learned that two of the Friends‘ creators, Kevin Bright and Marta Kauffman, stand by their all-white casting choices though Marta wants y’all to know she’ll be funding future students at Brandeis University with a $4 million pledge for the African American studies department.

My thought: you’re about twenty-plus years late.

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There has been gossip that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn are  engaged and a source—you know it’s Taylor—says that when they do get hitched, it will be a very simple, elegant affair, and no pictures will be sold to Vogue or Hello! Magazine or :::gag::: People.

My thought: Taylor will release an album with a slew of sappy off-key tunes and pictures of the wedding so she can make some coins.

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Well, Miles Teller’s granny Leona “Mup” Flowers thinks there’s nothing Miles can’t do, and went on Twitter this week to ay that Miles should be the next James Bond.

My thought: Mup is due for a nap.

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Really, Nancy Brophy? Really?

In Oregon, 71-year-old self-published romance novelist Nancy Crampton Brophy was found guilty of the June 2018 fatal shooting of her husband, chef, and culinary instructor Dan Brophy. She was sentenced to life in prison last month.

The couple had financial issues, and Nancy wanted to pay off all their marital debts and travel the world, but Dan didn’t like that idea. And that’s when it hit Nancy that Dan had a $1.5 million life insurance policy, as well as several other assets that would all be hers if he were … out of the way.

But police investigators became suspicious when they noticed that, while the Brophy’s were falling behind on paying their mortgage, Nancy made sure Dan’s insurance policy was paid right on time each and every month. Oh, and it didn’t help that her computer history showed that she went online and bought a ghost gun kit online—she claimed it was for “novel research”—and then also purchased a Glock 17 handgun—which turned out to be the murder weapon—at a gun show.

Then, on the day of the slaying, Nancy Brophy’s van was caught on traffic cameras near the scene at the time of Dan’s murder, and then while in jail awaiting trial Nancy ALLEGEDLY told a cellmate that she shot Dan in the heart twice, and then used her arms to demonstrate how far away from him she was when she fired.

But the most telling evidence in the case against Nancy Brophy? She wrote and published an essay in 2011 giving tips on the best way to kill your husband. Nancy now says the essay, How to Murder Your Husband, was just “jokes’ and here are some of the funnier lines:

“Divorce is expensive, and do you really want to split your possessions?”

“Or if you married for money, aren’t you entitled to all of it? The drawback is the police aren’t stupid. They are looking at you first. So you have to be organized, ruthless and very clever.”

Sadly, it seems that Nancy Brophy wasn’t as good at murdering her husband as she was about writing about murdering her husband. Perhaps Nancy should write another book on How To Better Kill Your Husband and Not Leave Behind Any Clues.

She has Life to do that.

Friday, July 01, 2022

I Didn't Say It

Andrew McCarthy, former Assistant US Attorney and current Fox News legal analyst, on Thing 45 and January 6:

“[Thing 45] was clearly aware just moments before he took the podium that you had a mob of heavily armed people. The critical thing he says is ‘they’re not here to hurt me,’ which implies that in his mind, he knows they’re here to hurt someone. And the second thing he says, which I don’t think has gotten enough attention, ‘they can come in, they can hear me, and then they can march to the Capitol.’ So he’s very aware that you have a mob that’s armed to the teeth that he is planning to encourage to march on the Capitol. And then as the testimony ensues, we find out that he not only intended them to do that, he wanted to participate, he actually wanted to lead them down there. That knowledge opens up the possibility that you could prosecute for aiding and abetting the intimidation of federal officials, which is a pretty serious crime.”

I’ve always said what will seal Thing 45’s fate is his own mouth and this is laid out perfectly.

He knew; he aided; he directed.

Good on a conservative pundit on a conservative channel for saying so, though, I know, the rabid MAGAts won’t hear it.

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Yesli Vega, Virginia Republican US House nominee, asked if she’s heard that it’s “harder for women to get pregnant from rape”:

“Maybe because there’s so much going on in the body. I don’t know. I haven’t, you know, seen any studies. But if I’m processing what you’re saying, it wouldn’t surprise me. Because it’s not something that’s happening organically. You’re forcing it. The individual, the male, is doing it as quickly. And so I can see why there is truth to that. It’s unfortunate.”

Yes, a woman, thinks any other woman’s body will reject a pregnancy outright if it results from rape.

Clearly this woman’s body rejected her brain eons ago.

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Willie Carver Jr., Kentucky’s 2022 Teacher of the Year, who is gay, is leaving teaching because of the anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment AKA ‘Don’t Say Gay’:

“This was not an easy decision; I have cried quite a few times trying to make it over the past few months. But, ultimately, I have always wanted to be in the place where I can most make a difference in the lives of the next generation. I believe that UK [in student support services] is where I can do this. I also increasingly find that, as a queer person in K-12 education, I have been unable to do that work without facing discrimination, heartache, and being a part of systems that cause harm, though I am immensely proud of my brilliant, hardworking, and fierce colleagues who have and continue to change that system in defense of students. I also know that I symbolize potential for some students. I symbolize potential for students who come from poverty, for Appalachian students, and for LGBTQ students [but] of late, I feel beaten down. I’ve withstood it, but it’s hard to find peace or happiness when you’re under attack.”

This is what the GOP is doing, taking dedicated teachers and running them out of schools simply because they’re LGBTQ+. And teaching these next generations that being LGBTQ+ is a terrible thing; the GOP spreading hate and intolerance and self-loathing.

How lovely.

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Chelsea Handler, on Kevin McCarthy calling himself and the GOP pro-life:

“By the way, Kevin McCarthy, since you mentioned it, let’s talk about what it means to be pro-life. Universal healthcare, that’s pro-life. Restricting guns, that’s also pro-life. Fighting climate change, , that’s also pro-life. Listening to doctors during a pandemic, also pro-life. Not forcing women to give birth like livestock: pro-life. But your party opposes all those things. Calling Republicans pro-life is like calling OJ Simpson pro-wife.”

Simple and direct, with a stab of truth-filled sarcasm at the end.

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Thursday, June 30, 2022

Bobservations

This is the boys sharing a carrier as we visited the vet last week for their blood tests. Both are aging—Tuxedo is 17 or 18, maybe even 19, while Max is 16 or 17—and have kidney issues that required a special diet.

The blood work came back and Tuxedo’s numbers are very good; he’s active and east and drinks and pees and sleeps … it’s a cat’s life you know, but MaxGoldberg …

Max’s numbers went way up. Max doesn’t like the special diet, nor did he like the medication that was added to his food. Max isn’t doing well, and as our vet told us, we should just make him comfortable and let him do whatever he wants. The other night he slept with his head tucked under my chin and my arms wrapped around him. Carlos and I realized that Max is the only cat we’ve had since he was a kitten, and so we will do whatever makes Max happy and comfortable and loved until Max decides his next steps.

He’s a good boy, he’s a loved boy, and isn’t that all that matters?

I think Tuxedo should join Liz and Adam is running the January 6th hearings, because he ain’t playing either.

Former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson testified this week that Thing 45 was so incensed that then-Attorney General William Barr dismissed claims of widespread election fraud that he threw his lunch at the wall in the West Wing dining room.

Picture Joan Crawford in a really bad wig and a fat suit. Hutchinson says she walked into the dining room and:

“I first noticed there was ketchup dripping down the wall, and there was a shattered porcelain plate.”

She wasn’t too upset because, as she added, there were “several times throughout my tenure with the chief of staff that I was aware of him either throwing dishes or flipping the tablecloth” like he’s a Real Housewife from New Jersey?

l was looking for a new summer look and stumbled upon this one but wonder if I need to carry a mini-mower with me.

And how do I water it?

Fourth of July is this weekend, a time when we celebrate America’s battle for freedom, and remind ourselves of how free we … Oh, wait, never mind. I think I’ll sit this holiday out since it’s been decided women aren’t free in this country.

Last week Carlos had a meeting with DHEC at a new Puerto Rican restaurant called ‘a Fuego’ in Columbia. A few days later he took me to it, because he said it was so good, and he was not wrong. He showed me a menu, with all sorts of good things on  it, but one name leapt out at me: Mofongo.

I haven’t had mofongo since we lived in Miami. It’s made from mashed green plantains—so it’s more savory than sweet—and has garlic and herbs mixed in it.

Delicioso; as were the Empanadas. We’re going back for lunch after a doctor’s appointment on Friday.

Rudy Giuliani says the ALLEGED assault he suffered during a campaign appearance on behalf of his son at a Staten Island ShopRite should result in the ALLEGED assailant being prosecuted:

“This has to stop!”

The former Mayor of New York insisted that he “could have been killed” by the slap on the back had he fallen, and says his shoulder is still hurt and that he had trouble sleeping Sunday night as a result.

Perhaps some alcohol, Rudy? You’re going to need it because that ShopRite worker, Daniel Gill, walked free from court after his charges were downgraded.

If you’ve seen the video you’ll understand why Rudy Karen Giuliani’s assault was seen as more of a slap on the back.

It was barely twenty years ago, after 9/11 that Giuliani was dubbed America’s Mayor and now he’s become Thing 45’s Whipping Boy and America’s Drunk Uncle.

Sachin Bhatt was born in the Midwest to Middle Eastern parents and is an actor, singer, and opera singer, but that’s neither here nor there. I have two questions: Would You Hit It? And Would You Hit It Hairy or Smooth? Or Both??

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Architecture Wednesday: Classic Pueblo-Style Home in Santa Fe

Oh yes. I could live in this house and I could live in this town.

This 3,011-square-foot, three-bedroom, three bathroom beauty is located in Santa Fe’s historic Eastside neighborhood and evokes the traditional Pueblo-style architecture—sometimes called Pueblo Revival—of the American Southwest, which takes direct inspiration from Native American pueblo architecture and are often constructed from adobe and feature flat roofs and stuccoed walls.

Brick floors and traditional vigaslarge, rough-hewn wooden ceiling beams—are found throughout the home and the living room features one of the home’s five kiva fireplaces with a long, connected bench, known as a banco.

In the dining room French doors on either side offer direct access to the outdoors, as well as allowing a cool evening breeze to enter the home, and there’s another kiva fireplace that partially encloses the kitchen at the far end of the space. The updated kitchen features Wolf and Sub-Zero appliances and white-painted cabinets and open shelves with zigzag details match the bright, plastered walls.

A peaceful library with another cozy fireplace and a wall of built-ins and French doors screams a glass of Pinot and a good book on a WINTER’S NIGHT.

The principal bedroom has its own fireplace, as well as French doors on both sides of the room, as well as an en suite bathroom. There are two other bedrooms, and two bathrooms, each with beautiful tile-work and colorful sinks..

At the rear of the home is a large courtyard with a sheltered patio and yet another outdoor fireplace, perhaps for living outside as weather permits.

As I said, I live for the beams and the brick floors and the colorful tile and that outdoor space and all those cozy nooks and fireplaces.