Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Darrin Bell, Mike Luckovich, Clay Bennett, John Cole, David Horsey, Nate Beeler, Mike Smith, Milt Priggee

Can I Get An Amen: Virginia AG Mark Herring Smacks Back At The NRA

When he was running to be Virginia’s Attorney General, the National Rifle Association [NRA] was so afraid of Mark Herring that they pumped over $20,000 into the campaign coffers of his opponent.

And now Attorney general Herring — yes, he won the election — is proving that the NRA had a need to be afraid. He is closing down a loophole that allows everyone with a concealed carry permit from another state to carry a firearm in Virginia:

"Our General Assembly has already identified who can and cannot conceal handguns in Virginia, and we cannot have that decision undermined by recognizing permits from other states with more permissive standards.”

And this new restriction flies in the face of one of the NRA’s latest moves, which is to get Congress to pass national right-to-carry reciprocity legislation, which would allow folks from one state to bring their guns into another state.

But, beginning February 1, Virginia will no longer allow people with concealed carry permits from other states — like Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Dakota, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming — to automatically carry concealed handguns in Virginia.

And that’s because the attorney general's office found that those 25 states grant concealed carry permits using “more permissive standards,” than Virginia; in fact, some of those states allow people with histories of stalking, drug dealing, domestic violence and mental health problems to obtain permits to carry a concealed weapon.

Now, visitors from other states — such as West Virginia, Michigan, Oklahoma, Texas and Utah — will still be allowed to carry concealed weapons if they enter Virginia and that’s because requirements for a concealed carry permit in those states meets or surpasses the Virginia statute. And much to the chagrin of the NRA, even the State Police Superintendent Steven Flaherty signed off on the new restrictions and will implement and enforce the change.

And what is even more amazing is that Herring made this move even though he is facing reelection next year. His only opponent so far is Delegate Robert Bell III, a former state prosecutor, who will, no doubt, be getting a big fat check from the NRA.

And here’s hoping that money goes to waste as well.

NCRM

Random Musings

Adele 25. It's being released this November. Finally, I can begin listening to music again.

Blake O'Neill is a punter for Michigan Sate and last week he missed a kick, and rather than falling on the ball, it was scooped up by the opposing team who scored a touchdown and won the game.

Blake O’Neill was an instant pariah and began receiving online death threats … for a football game loss.

Note to online asshats: if you wouldn’t walk up to someone like Blake O’Neill and say to his face, “I want to kill you,” keep it off-line.

It’s.A.Game.

[Blake O'Neill]

Oh, and also in Michigan — and this may, or may not, have anything to do with people wanting to kill a football player — a new bill is being proposed to allow guns to be carried in schools, college dorms, bars and … wait for it … sports arenas.

Uh huh.

[photo]

Jim Webb has dropped out of the Democratic presidential race—though he may run as an independent.

I thought he was just holding Joe Biden’s spot, and now that Joe isn’t running, Jim can just sit down.
[photo]

American Horror Story: Hotel is really pushing the boundaries, what with Gaga humping Angela Bassett — who looks faaaabulous by the way — and Finn Wittrock humping Cheyenne Jackson.

Maybe we should call it American Horror Story: Humping Homosexuals.

[1, 2, 3, 4]

We saw the Martian last weekend. Good film, kind of improbable, but entertaining nonetheless. But this isn’t about that, it’s about the preview for an upcoming Will Smith film, Concussion, in which he uses an accent, and, gathering from the way the preview was edited, the only actor in the piece.

In other words, Will Smith wants an Oscar.

[photo]

Am I the only one who is sickened by the near hourly reports on Lamar Odom’s condition? I have no ill will toward the man, but let’s be clear: he suffered a seizure after a four-day coke-Viagra-whore binge at a Las Vegas brothel.

And that’s daily news because … ?

[photo]

Aaron Tveit is on USA’s Graceland, a show I’ve never seen, though Aaron is quite the Eye Candy.

He was also in Les Miz, and played the role of Fiyero in Wicked, and since I am such a Wicked whore, which is quite different from being a wicked whore, I loved hearing him singing “Defying Gravity” from Wicked alongside current Elphaba, Rachel Tucker.

Dreamy and hot.

[1, 2, 3, 4]

Jennifer Jin Will Protest Campus Open Carry Gun Law By Openly Carrying A Dildo

Students at the University of Texas in Austin are calling their protest a "strap in" although it’s also known as “Cocks, Not Glocks.” 

See, next year, on August 1st, a new bill in Texas — S.B. 11, AKA the “Campus Carry” law — goes into effect. It was, naturally, passed by the Republican state legislature and signed into law by Republican Governor Greg Abbott, and will allow people who are licensed to carry a concealed firearm to legally carry their weapon on college campuses.

Yes, it’s ridiculous; in the aftermath of that school shooting in Oregon, Texas will welcome guns onto college campuses. But, in an effort to highlight the stupidity of such a law, University of Texas at Austin student Jessica Jin [left] has started her own protest of sorts.

She wants like-minded students — those who believe guns have no place on a college campus — to take a stand against the proliferation of guns by openly carrying … wait for it … dildos on campus, even though, according to university rules and Texas law, it could get them expelled or even arrested. 

Yup. A dildo gets you arrested, but a gun is just fine and dandy.

From the University of Texas rules:

Subchapter 13–200. Prohibited Expression: Sec. 13–201. Obscenity

"No person or organization will distribute or display on the campus any writing or visual image, or engage in any public performance, that is obscene. A writing, image, or performance is “obscene” if it is obscene as defined in Texas Penal Code, Section 43.21 or successor provisions, and is within the constitutional definition of obscenity as set forth in decisions of the United States Supreme Court."

From the Texas Criminal Code:

Sec. 43.22. OBSCENE DISPLAY OR DISTRIBUTION.

(a) A person commits an offense if he intentionally or knowingly displays or distributes an obscene photograph, drawing, or similar visual representation or other obscene material and is reckless about whether a person is present who will be offended or alarmed by the display or distribution.

(b) An offense under this section is a Class C misdemeanor." (A Class C misdemeanor in punishable by up to a $500 fine)*

Jessica hopes her protest will make voters think — and, yes, I know it’s Texas, but even down there some folks have rational minds — about how insane it is to allow students, and teachers and administrators, to carry weapons onto a college campus, but the mere act of carrying a concealed dildo, or god forbid, openly carrying a dildo, can get you arrested.

"The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, Jessica writes, "however it DOES have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a DILDO to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class." — Jennifer Jin

And there’s even a Facebook page readying for the Campus (Dildo) Carry protest, which has been given its own hashtag: #CocksNotGlocks, and so next year, as students return to campuses across the state and the new open carry law goes into effect, students and supporters are asked to “strap on” a dildo and head to class.

And Jessica knows that students can get arrested for this protest — as ludicrous as it sounds — and has warned people to participate at their own risk, though she also says:

“[Can] you imagine the gong show that would be [University of Texas Police Dept/Austin Police Dept.] trying to chase down thousands of students wielding harmless dildos around campus?"

And with interested in the event growing each day, Jessica is looking into securing the sponsorship of a major dildo manufacturer. 

"I know that quality dildos, especially super large ones, can be a little pricey. If we can gather enough willing participants, I will personally take it upon myself to put in the time and legwork to find a dildo supplier sponsorship."

The gun carry advocates, true to form, have taken to name calling and threats in the comment section of the event page, but Jessica won’t remove them, saying she thinks the comments would be instructive to show exactly what kind of people want guns in schools:

"You're carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I'm carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play." 

 I cannot wait for this protest; a sea of dildos, in backpacks and book bags and purses and briefcases and pockets everywhere.

#CocksNotGlocks. Loving it.

NCRM

In Michigan, If You're Picking Up The Kids from School, Don't Forget To Bring Your Gun

Apparently in Michigan Stupidity begets stupidity …

This past March Kenneth Herman, the father of a Clio elementary school student, filed a lawsuit against the district because, back in 2013, he was not allowed to come into the Edgerton Elementary school to pick up his daughter while carrying a pistol in his hands.

Yes, that’s a lawsuit in Michigan.

And, while there are some restrictions on a concealed weapons permit — like not carrying firearms into sports arenas and school — open carry laws do not, and so just last week Genesee Circuit Judge Archie Hayman ruled that parents should be allowed to carry their guns into elementary schools while picking up their children in case there’s a scuffle and Little Billy needs to be shot.

Yeah, I don’t see anything bad happening.

"The ruling today does not come as a surprise, the law is the law. Now that Clio Area Schools have heard the ruling, read the laws and the Court of Appeals case law has been explained to them, I they stop burning through tax dollars fighting the law and common sense." — Kenneth Herman

So, in case you forget, up there in Michigan, just remember that some of the parents wandering the halls of the school are fully armed and ready to open fire just in case. And don’t even think for a moment that anything bad can happen …

Sandy Hook.

I am continually amazed at how guns runs this country and how we weep and moan the loss of life because some lunatic, like, in my opinion, Kenneth Herman, who thinks he’s a man because he carries a gun, wanders into a school or a theater or a recruiting station or a military base or a mall and opens fire, and then we just do nothing.

Columbine. 

Aurora. 

Lafayette. 

Chattanooga.

That’s not all ... and it isn't the last.

aily Kos

I Wish We Weren't That Country

Panera has become the latest corporation to "respectfully" ask its customers not to bring guns into their stores after the group Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America persuaded them toward the direction of sanity. The new Panera policy became effective last Monday at all 1,818 Panera locations.

Panera CEO Ron Shaich released this statement:

"We recognize everyone's rights, but we also recognize that we are building communities in our cafes and are where people come to catch a breath."

Catch a breath; not a bullet.

Moms Demand Action celebrated Panera's decision on their Facebook page by asking people to "Tweet @PaneraBread today say thank you for having #gunsense". 

"We applaud Panera for working with us to proactively develop its new policy, and for standing up for the safety of its customers and employees." said Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action. "Until our leaders finally require background checks on every gun sale in this country, we demand that businesses act to protect their customers when lawmakers do not.”

Still, Panera has indicated it would continue to follow local gun carry laws, but is asking its customers to voluntarily leave their guns outside the restaurant while dining in or getting take-out.

Panera is the latest addition to a list of successes for the Moms Demand Action campaign; Chipotle, Target,  Chili's, Jack In The Box and Sonic Drive-In have all asked their customers to come unarmed.

When did we become that country? Look, I am not a gun person, but I understand the right to bear arms, though the right to bear assault weapons I don’t understand at all. But that’s not the purpose of this argument.

When did we become the country that says it’s okay to carry a loaded weapon into a restaurant just because you can? I still believe that, if I’m in Panera, or Chipotle, or wherever, and I see a person carrying a gun into the building, that there will be some sort of robbery or attack, or violence.

You don’t need a gun to buy a sandwich.

Why are we that country? Own a gun, go ahead; shoot a gun at a practice range; feel that you’re protecting what’s yours. But when you go out into the public, why not leave the weapon at home? Why do you need a gun when you're having a sandwich? Why carry an assault weapon while looking for towels at Targe?

Why let us become that country, the one that puts guns everywhere? The country that has to ask folks not to come out shopping with their guns?

Like Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America on Facebook

Visit MomsDemandAction.org

The Funny Papers