Ain't That America XL

The war in Iran ended this week … and then started up again … and then it was over and then it wasn’t over … and the Strait of Hormuz opened and closed and opened and closed and then opened and closed again … a Slovenian Hooker, married to the most divisive hate-filled pig on Earth, took to the media to whine about a comedian making a joke of her … Oh Melanie, but ya’are a joke, ya’are … the GOP is suddenly all on board for the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™ and suddenly want We The People to pay for that … and the war … and the tariffs and higher gas and higher food prices and less healthcare and childcare … boy, it’s costs us a buttload of money to Make America Great Again, don’t it?

According to Nationalist Christian, AKA Nat-C, Little Mike Johnson, the Secret Service needs to “tighten up” and rethink their security protocols after an ALLEGED assassin stormed a security checkpoint at the recent White House Correspondents’ dinner.

Funny, there was a photo of Little Mike scurrying from the event surrounded by Secret Service.

God sees you lying, Mike, and She’s not happy.

 

In no way to make the shooting seem like another staged event Cankles’ DOJ is not talking about guns and gunmen but is using the ALLEGED assassination attempt to justify building the $400 million Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™ and demanding that preservationists drop their lawsuit over the building.

If a ballroom stopped gunmen wouldn’t every school in the country already have one?

Cankles says he views his repeated brushes with violence as a sign of his historic significance:

“I’ve studied assassinations, and I must tell you, the most impactful people, the people that do the most … they’re the ones that they go after and I hate to say I’m honored by that, but I’ve done a lot.”

He said he’s studied??? The man falls asleep and shits his pants during Cabinet meetings.

 

Texas GOP Representative and MAGAt Chip Roy is furious :::: foot stomp neck snap :::: that children in Texas took a poll and were asked what language was spoken in their homes and Spanish was Number 1  … English came in fourth.

Roy, for the record, was raised by a French-speaking mother and learned Spanish at an early age.

 

Former Fox News himbo and current Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy says that Spirit Airlines suddenly shut down all business over the weekend because of … wait for it, it’s hilarious … Joe Biden:

“There was a proposed merger between JetBlue and Spirit, and Joe Biden and Pete Buttigieg, along with the Biden DOJ, decided that they did not want that merger to take place.”

But Sean, please to explain the fact that Spirit Airlines said they closed their doors because the war in Iran raised the cost of jet fuel so high that they could no longer afford to fly.

 

DINO, Democrat in Name Only, John Fetterman, is again joining hands with the GOP, this time to demand the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™ be built to protect the president from ALLEGED assassination attempts at future White House Correspondents’ Dinners.

Trouble is, Fetterman, the Correspondents’ Dinner is a private event that would not be held on federal property even if there was a ridiculous gold-plated ballroom existed.

 

Cankles was captured falling down to the ground as Secret Service agents ushered him away from the dais after that ALLEGED assassination attempt, but now Cankles says he went down at the urging of Secret Service agents, not because he fell.

“I started walking, and they said, ‘Please go down, please go down on the floor.’”

He also told this story:

“[I started to walk out] a little bent over but the agents said, ‘please go down to the floor, please go down to the floor.”

Funny, cuz Melanie didn’t go to the floor because she wasn’t being paid to lay down on the floor.

 

Cankles wants to rename the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE] as the National Immigration and Customs Enforcement AKA NICE.

But to be fair, the name ICEstapo works better for the agency that kills Americans in the street and in detention centers.

 

This Just In From The Slovenian Hooker …

“Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn’t comedy—his words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. People like Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate.”

Odd coming from the woman whose husband celebrated the death of Robert Mueller, and laughed at the murders of Rob and Michele Reiner … the man who said nothing about his own party making jokes about Minnesota Representative Melissa Hortman and her husband Mark, being murdered in their home … the man whose own family joked about the attempted murder of Nancy Pelosi’s husband, Paul … the man who said he wouldn’t care if Joe Biden died …

So, Melanie, shut your fucking mouth and clean up your own house before you play the victim … AGAIN.

 

Both GOP Senator and cult member Mike Lee, and Cankles’ lapdog Pee Wee German’s wife Katie Miller sent out Tweets after the ALLEGED assassination attempt slamming the New York Times for not covering the story. Luckily, Keith Olbermann was there to explain how time works:

“Children: you’re looking at the early editions printed last night at 8 PM. Maybe if you could find an adult … she could explain to you how to tell time.”

The image of the print version of the New York Times shared by Miller and Lee went to press at 8PM and the ALLEGED assassination attempt had not yet happened. On Sunday morning the NYT had the full story on the front page.

Cankles’ shared a series of posts on X including an AI-generated image depicting himself and top officials in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

Clearly, the Cankles in the photo was using AI-generated Ozempic.

 

After that ALLEGED assassin traveled cross-country via Amtrak to stage an ALLEGED assassination attempt, Amtrak announced they are considering allowing people to store guns in lockboxes on most of its trains. Amtrak says they’ve been considering the policy change since early this year, after being pressured by Cankles’ Regime to ease restrictions on transporting weapons and …

Wait, the Cankles Regime asked Amtrak to ease restrictions on transporting weapons just a few months before an ALLEGED assassin used Amtrak to travel cross-country with guns to stage a shooting?

Seriously, you cannot make this shiz up.

Cankles said he’d wear a bulletproof vest in the future in the aftermath of an ALLEGED  third assassination attempt but says it might make him look fat.

Fatter. Fatter. Thought the extra padding around the gut might take some of the glare off the extra thick Depends on the ass.

 

60 Minutes correspondent Norah O’Donnell caught Cankles in a revealing moment while asking about the manifesto of the ALLEGED assassin who stormed the White House Correspondents’ dinner saying that Cole Thomas Allen wrote, “I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.” O’Donnell asked Cankles his reaction, to which he shrieked:

“Well, I was waiting for you to read that because I knew you would, because you’re horrible people. Horrible people. Yeah, he did write that. I’m not a rapist. I didn’t rape anybody.”

That’s when O’Donnell asked:

“Oh, you think—do you think he was referring to you?”

Aaaaaaaand scene!

As the Iran war has pushed the global economy into an oil crisis and gas prices reach a four-year high—I know y’all may have higher prices but a few months ago gas was $2.50 a gallon and now it’s $3.99—Americans’ ratings of the Cankles Regime on several issues are deeply underwater.

Roughly 76%  disapprove of his handling of the cost of living, while 72% disapprove of how he’s handling inflation. Seven in ten Americans think he’s dishonest—where are the 3 in 10 living—while 60% say he does not have the mental sharpness to serve as president.

Best of all, among registered voters, 49% say that they would vote for the Democratic candidate if midterms were held today and 44% say they would vote for the Republican.

Keep all of this in mind and remember:

The Funny Papers

Bill Bramhall, Dennis Goris, Rick McKee, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Gary Huck, Chris Britt, Max Espinoza, Nick Anderson, Adam Zyglis, Pedro X Molina,

Why Is It ...

… that when people ask me why I don’t have any self-control I remind them that I have cooked for people I should have poisoned so, yes, I do have self-control

… that I’ve just come to realize that I swing both ways … but violently, and with a bat; come at me motherfuckers

… that I learned that I have reached the age where I don’t make eye contact with people because they look like a “talker”

… that I always tell people, “It doesn’t matter if you’re ugly or beautiful because at the end of the day it’s evening.”

… that when a  co-worker asked why I used F-bombs so much I replied, “What the fuck is an F-bomb?” Seriously, these kids and their lingo.

… that some really attractive people are called “eye candy” but most of y’all are just “eye okra.”

… that people need to learn that canceling plans is okay, and making coffee just for yourself is okay, and  plotting revenge on your enemies is okay and drinking coffee out of the skulls of your enemies is okay. It’s called self-care.

… that while I naturally look mad people don’t understand that it’s just my default face settings.

… that people need to know that I only accept cash apologies because it’s called accountability and it needs to go in to my account.

… that if I had the chance to meet many people again, I’d block them from day one.

I Didn't Say It ...

Elena Kagan, US Supreme Court Justice on the ruling regarding the Voting Rights Act:

“The Voting Rights Act … was born of the literal blood of Union soldiers and civil rights marchers. In ushered in awe-inspiring change, bringing this Nation closer to fulfilling the ideals of democracy and racial equality. And it has been repeatedly, and overwhelmingly, reauthorized by the people’s representatives in Congress … I dissent, then, from this latest chapter in the majority’s now completed demolition of the Voting Rights Act.”

How simple is this: make voting easier and fair for all Americans regardless of color or gender or age or sexual orientation.

Voting by anyone eligible to vote should be the easiest fucking thing to do.

photo

Rick Wilson, political strategist, pundit and author, on Cankles’ newest push for the ballroom:

“As America’s economy teeters on the brink due to [his] insane tariffs, calamitous war with Iran, and his deeply incompetent Administration, I think I speak for the majority of Americans when I say FUCK YOUR BALLROOM.”

Seriously,  this is akin to Marie Antoinette and her “let them eat cake” remark. Americans can’t afford food or gas or healthcare or energy bills and this regime wants to build a $300 million ballroom because a diaper-wearing, racist, rapist, predator, con artist has a fragile ego?

Fuck that.

photo

Don Lemon, journalist best known for being a host on CNN, on the right pushing the idea that dangerous political rhetoric is coming from the left:

“I cannot say with a straight face that Democrats saying [Cankles] is terrible for this country is the same thing as [Cankles] standing in front of a crowd on January 6th and telling them to march to the capitol and fight like hell. I cannot say those things are equivalent because they are not. I am so sick of false equivalence. It drives me fucking crazy because that is bullshit. Because these things are not equivalent.”

No one on the left has celebrated the death of other politicians or celebrities; no one on the left has mocked the disabled in front of a crowd; no one on the left has called for destroying an entire civilization.

All we are saying is, ahem, FUCK TRUMP.:

photo

Jimmy Kimmel, responding to Melanie and Cankles ‘ calling for him to  be fired … again:

“It was five days ago. It was a pretend roast. I said, ‘Our First Lady, [Melanie’s] here. Look at her, so beautiful. [Melanie] you have a glow like an expectant widow’—which was obviously a joke about their age difference and the look of joy we see on her face every time they’re together. It was a very light roast joke about that fact that he’s almost 80 and she’s younger than I am [Melanie is 56]. It was not, by any stretch of the definition, a call to assassination. And they know that.”

Melanie is still riding the wave of bad reviews from her “documentary” and bad reviews from her incredibly awkward White House press conference on Epstein and now her idiotic tone-deaf reaction to a joke from BEFORE Correspondent’s Dinner.

Take a seat Melanie; why not put your architecture degree … hold for laughter … to good use and design and build a changing station for Cankles’ “accidents; that’s needed more than any ballroom.

photo

Melanie Stansbury, Democrat Representative for New Mexico, on the irony of King Charles reminding us of democracy:

“Imagine getting in a time machine and going back to 1776 and telling the Founding Fathers that the King would be one day reminding America about the importance of democracy and our checks and balances. That is the timeline we’re living in.”

The King has to remind a US president what America was founded on and stands for because the president is a drug addled narcissist.

photo

Bobservations

This Tale of Tuxedo is from June 2009 and entitled The Tuesday Tuxedo:

I loves me some Tuxedo.

We rescued him from life as a blood donor in an animal hospital in Miami. They said he was mean; unadoptable....is that a word? Nothing but trouble. And he was, for the first few days.

Now, four years later he's a loving cat who follows you around the house, sits in the kitchen when you cook, and plays catch the reflection in the bathroom before we go to bed.

He's my boy. I call him 'My boy' just to irk Carlos, and it does.

But anyway, enough of the love story between me and el gato. What I wanted to point out was how he sits at the top of the chair in our home office; his hind claws dug in for support and his front legs dangling down either side.

Cute. Right?

Not so much. He sits like that because he was declawed by a veterinarian who thought it might make him a better candidate for adoption. You know, less mean and aggressive. So they cut off his fingers; cat's claws are not like our fingernails, they are like our fingers. Cats use them to scratch and groom themselves, to pick up things, to play with things, and for protection. Cutting off his fingers wasn't a good idea. It didn't make him less aggressive, it made him more aggressive because now he has only his back feet and claws to use as a defense.

So, if you have a cat or want a cat, don't, don't, let anyone talk you into cutting off their fingers. If you want to declaw a cat because you have a leather sofa, or pretty velvet drapes, then either get rid of the cat or get rid of the couch and drapes. Or do like Carlos and I have done, train your cats not to claw the furniture. Because even though they don't show it, they are listening.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

When bullets fly where old powerful white men gather, suddenly a ballroom is a necessary solution but when school kids are targeted those same old powerful white men are speechless. 

Ernie Dosio, a millionaire big game hunter was out shooting yellow-backed duiker, a species of antelope, in Gabon when he and his guide surprised five female elephants with a calf in the Lope-Okanda rainforest.

He was trampled to death by that herd of elephants; the guide was left severely injured in the attack.

Sorry, not sorry.

Instead of going after Comey for a photo of seashells, they should be investigating the current President for threatening to kill an entire civilization.

PS 86 is a restaurant term for being out of something—86 soup means you’re out of soup—it has never meant kill.

Former Friends star Lisa Kudrow has revealed what kind of residuals the stars are earning now, twenty years after the show ended its run.

Sidenote: the cast renegotiated their contracts after the first year as a team so they would all be paid the same amount of money and each received $1 million an episode.

Now, as the show thrives in reruns each Friend still collects a whopping $20 million a year in residuals.

I knew I should have gotten the part on that show when I auditioned, but they went with Aniston instead!

Bobby Kennedy shared a screenshot of his father, RFK Jr.’s message after the “shooting” over the weekend; Bobby wrote:

"Pops you OK"

RFK Jr.'s current wife, actor Cheryl Hines, responded:

"Yes! Was crazy! Bobby’s security team came in so fast & took us out of the building. They were lifting me over chairs!"

When RFK Jr. finally responded, he gave his status:

"im really hungry"

Doesn’t sound so dangerous after all.

Luc Defont-Saviard is a prominent French fashion model recognized for his work with top luxury brands and international fashion houses and who lives in Nice, France; Nice is nice so Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Transformed 5-Floor Brooklyn Townhouse

This 20-foot-wide 1880 brownstone sits at the end of a tree-lined block in Brooklyn, opening to soaring ceilings and miles of antique wood detailing. Wood and steel collaborate to maintain its period allure while adding new, highly functional bathrooms and a dug-out basement gym.

The designers brought in custom walnut millwork, bespoke British radiators, Fireclay tile and bold wallpapers to create a bold, bright new version of the old.  The living room features original millwork, mile high ceilings and custom cabinetry. Next is the dining room with its own fireplace and bold wallpaper and windows that look out over the back garden.

Down one level is the chef’s kitchen that opens onto a deep wildflower garden and features Reform cabinetry, a custom concrete island and terrazzo counters. Off the kitchen is a family room with herringbone wood floors and a splash of color. Go down to the dugout basement for the gym and bathroom with its radiant-heated floors

The full-floor primary suite has its own fireplace and walk-through dressing room, plus an elaborate en suite bath; upstairs is an office space and two additional bedrooms that share a bath.

It’s a home filled with the original, historic details, but with modern twists in design and color and can be yours for just $2.95 M.

As always click to emBIGGERate ...

The Spaces