Ain't That America XLI

His ego inflates with talk of ballrooms and arches and god statues while his approval rates drop lower than his IQ. His minions circle the globe to say stupid things and he keeps taking dementia tests.

Oy, what a week …

This week the Gang of Six Racist and Stupid Supreme Court Justices dismantled the Voting Rights Act, actually saying that the racial gap in voter turnout has closed.

Which explains why many states in the South are now trying to redraw their Congressional maps to make everything all-white. As soon as the ruling came down Tennessee’s GOP-controlled legislature redrew the congressional district of Memphis, which has long enjoyed its own Democratic-leaning House seat and split it into three GOP-leaning districts.

If you don’t think this is a racist attempt to keep Black Americans from being represented in government, answer me this: would you choose to be Black in America today knowing what’s happening?

 

The British energy giant Shell reported robust profits following the surge in oil prices prompted by the Cankles war with Iran. Shell’s adjusted profits soared 24%, to $6.92 billion, in the first three months of the year from the same time last year.

Well, Big Oil and billionaires are certainly being paid handsomely by the war while the rest of America suffers. If only there was a way to stop this bull shiz …

 

Last October the Cankles Regime abruptly stopped paying third-parties for medical care provided to detainees in ICEstapo custody; third-party providers are used to provide “medically necessary” care including “dialysis, prenatal care, oncology, [and] chemotherapy” but no more of that for detainees; they can suffer and die, I guess.

 

Senate Republicans want to provide the Secret Service with $1 billion for “security adjustments and upgrades” related to the construction of Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™.

Yes, it was supposed to be built and funded without taxpayer money and now the GOP wants YOU to pony up your share of a billion dollars for a ballroom no one other than the Pedophile In Chief wants.

 

The Department of Education opened an investigation into Smith College, an all-women’s institution in Massachusetts, for admitting transgender women.

The move is the latest by the Cankles Regime—whose rhetoric has frequently included attacks on trans people—to limit, and more likely end, transgender rights in America.

Ten years after celebrating his caucus victory at the Iowa State Fair, GOP Nutbag and Senator Rafael Cruz returned to Des Moines fueling chatter about a potential 2028 presidential bid. Cruz told the audience that the GOP is “winning historic victories” under Cankles’ second administration but failed to name one.

He also made no note of the fact that not only do Democrats despise him, so does the majority of the GOP so his little trip to Des Moines was a waste of time.

He should have gone to Cancun again.

 

Transportation Secretary and reality show “star” Sean Duffy blamed to collapse of Spirit airlines on both President Biden and former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.

But Sean? Moron? How do you explain that you opposed bailing out Spirit Airlines saying there is no need for a federal bailout of any low-cost airline.

Sounds like another GOP liar.

 

The current US Senator from South Carolina, and former Miss Cotton Ball Queen 1924, Miss Lindsey Graham wants to arm the Iranian people to fight the Iranian government:

“I love the idea of empowering the Iranian people with weapons, a Second Amendment solution to make the Revolutionary Guard’s life hell. It’s one thing to be bombed by America. It’s another thing to have your neighbor shoot back at you because they’re tired of being slaughtered.”

Siddown, Sassy, and pour yourself another Mint Julep you ignorant fuck.

 

Health and Human Services Secretary, heroin addict and collector of raccoon penises Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is demanding hospitals stop serving sugary drinks and foods, including Jell-O.

Calley Means, one of Kennedy’s top lapdogs, is asking members of the public to report hospitals for their Jell-O usage because that’s so important … not the measles or the hantavirus.

It’s Jell-O.

 

Real estate magnate Steve Roth is standing strong with fellow billionaire Ken Griffin in his spat with New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani for suggesting billionaires should pay their fair share in taxes; Roth thinks the ultra-rich should be “praised and thanked” and also said this:

“I consider the phrase tax the rich … when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians both here and across the country, to be just as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs.”

Tax the rich is the new N-word, y’all.

 

This week Secretary of State Marco Rubio made the following statement about Iran:

“This is an international waterway; no country can control them. There is no international law that allows you to say, I’m going to put mines in an international body of water, and I’m going to blow up ships that don’t listen to us and try to go through. We cannot live in a world where a rogue state like this Iranian regime is allowed to claim, as a new normal, control over an international shipping lane.”

He’s right … but then since September last year, the US military has conducted 47 strikes on civilian marine vessels travelling in the Caribbean Sea and eastern Pacific Ocean, leading to over 190 deaths.

Maybe you should zip it, Little Marco.

A towering, gold-leaf statue of Cankles’ was unveiled with great fanfare at Cankles’ National Doral golf course, in a dedication ceremony that included a prayer from a MAGAt pastor even though Alan Cottrill, the artist behind the statue, called the whole thing a “clusterfuck”:

“I usually deal with people that have everything organized. From the start, this was chaos … and almost never, anytime whatsoever, does anyone miss a payment.”

That wasn’t the case with the 22-foot statue as demands to nix his vagina neck, AKA turkey neck, requests to make the model look, um, not so fat, and late payments soured Cottrill on the deal.

And when it went up his minions circled round and prayed while God was watched.

She was not amused at the false god idolatry.

 

Cankles once again went off script to brag once again to brag once again to brag about passing a test meant to detect cognitive decline linked to dementia:

“I’ve taken three. No president, think of this, has ever taken one.”

To be fair no other president has ever needed one, but then Cankles said the best thing ever, that he takes the test whenever someone calls him a moron.

Testing is a 24/7 gig at the Cankles White House.

PS The test he described―the Montreal Cognitive Assessment―is not an intelligence test but an exam to detect the signs of cognitive decline.

Why is he taking it so much? Asking for a country.

Violent crime in New York City remained at historically low levels through April, with the Bronx recording some of the steepest declines and department leaders said they are hoping to build on that progress ahead of the summer, when crime typically spikes as more people gather outdoors.

NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch said the crime declines are the result of a policing strategy focused on using data to remove illegal guns from the streets and dismantle violent gangs and criminal groups.

Huh. Removing guns, you say.

 

Americans are deeply uncomfortable with recent religion-related statements by Cankles and DUI Hire Pete Hegseth. In fact, 87% of Americans have a negative view of Cankles’ social media post appearing to depict himself as Jesus and 69% dislike Hegseth praying at the Pentagon for “overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy.”

When you allow rapists and drunks who cannot quote a favorite Bible verse or refer the Bible According to Pulp Fiction, you’ll have these issues.

 

Days after suspending Louisiana’s US House primaries, GOP Governor Jeff Landry is facing mounting backlash from residents in the form of a recall to remove him from office.

Good. His racist ass needs to be removed.

 

Madison Sheahan, a former top official with the ICEstapo, has lost the Republican primary in Ohio’s 9th district as what some see as a sign of how unpopular ICE has become amid an aggressive immigration crackdown in Cankles’ second term.

Good. Keep all these bigots and racists and criminals out of office.

And how do we do that …

The Funny Papers

Mike Luckovich, Clay Bennett, Daniel Boris, Dennis Goris, Lalo Alcaraz, Chris Britt, John Cole, Nick Anderson,  S.G. Artley, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Steve Brodner,

Why Is It ...

… that most people don’t realize the world would be a better place if everyone took a chill pill, and it would get even better if some of them choked on it

… that most people don’t realize that fake laughing with a client is a highly prized job skill

… that I spend a lot of time wondering if I’m going to let it slide or start something when we all know I’m going to start something.

… that the older I get the easier it is for me too look at a situation and say, “Yeah, I’m out.”

… that I am so anti-social that I will reschedule the same phone call eight times hoping they’ll just text instead.

… that I actually love it when people think they’re punishing me by not talking to me

… that sometimes simply saying “Hi” can be the beginning of three years of trauma and so that’s why I don’t reply.

… that people need to know that my body is a filter; coffee goes in and sarcasm comes out.

… that hitting the gym to relieve stress is never quite as effective as hitting the people who stressed me out in the first place.

… that you should forgive your enemy but never forget the bastard’s name

I Didn't Say It ...

Raphael Warnock, Democrat Senator from Georgia, on SCOTUS’ dismantling of the Voting Rights Act:

“The Voting Rights Act of 1965 is the crown jewel of the Civil Rights movement. Without it, I quite literally would not be standing here today in front of you as a voice in the United States Senate for the people of Georgia. This [Cankles] Supreme Court just threw out the protections that were earned by the Civil Rights movement, those who bled, who fought and who died, so that people might have a voice.”

Okay, for those of you who don’t think we need a Voting Rights Act any longer in America I have one simple question to ask you:

Would you want to be Black in America today? Or treated like a Black American? Given all we know about the way people of color are still treated in the United States, would you want to be Black?

And that’s why we need the Voting Rights Act, why we need to elect Democrats, why we need term limits on the court, why we need equality for all Americans.

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Gavin Newsom, California Democrat Governor, on the newest ridiculous indictment on James Comey:

“The day after he talked about a beach photo and an indictment of his enemies  he talked about his Kremlin ballroom. He’s not doing anything to try to unite this country. The biggest reflection of this moment is the sewer we’re living in because of [Cankles]. This guy is cosplaying as the Pope, as Jesus, putting his face on Mt. Rushmore. None of this is normal.”

Cankles truly believes that the more monuments he leaves behind the more history will portray him as a great leader.

But when all his gold-plated toilets and wall décor and ballrooms and arches and signs and shoes and Bibles are thrown onto the trash heap, that’s how we’ll think of him: trash heap.

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Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, former Secretary of State, former Senator from New York, on the dismantling of the Voting Rights Act:

“In the 24 hours since the Supreme Court’s majority ruled to demolish the Voting Rights Act’s remaining protections, Louisiana and Tennessee have already signaled they will redraw their congressional maps with the clear effect of shutting Black voters out. The Court’s decision overlooks reality for a self-serving right-wing fantasy and it will live in infamy.”

Still think it’d be no different being Black in America today when two states—and more will likely follow—heard that SCOTUS ruling and began the plan to make it more difficult for Black voters—and all voters of color—to be heard.

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Pope Leo, on Cankles’ baseless claims that the Pope supports Iran’s nuclear weapons program:

“I have already spoken from the first moment ‘Peace be with you.’ The mission of the Church is to preach the Gospel, to preach peace. If anyone wants to criticize me for proclaiming the Gospel, let them do so truthfully. The Church has spoken out against all nuclear weapons for years, so there is no doubt about that.”

Sad that Cankles wants to pick a fight with the Pope considering the Leo is educated man and Cankles can barely pick a giraffe out of a lineup.

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James Carville, Democratic strategist, political consultant and author, on that SCOTUS ruling:

“The only nine people in the entire fucking government that operates under no ethics rule. These sons of bitches were so political, so happy to help the Republican party any way they could. What they’re trying to do at every juncture they can is screw Black people as hard as they can.”

Now John  Roberts is trying to spin it that SCOTUS was not taking a political stance in gutting The Voting Rights Act.

Voting. Rights. Act. It doesn’t get simpler than that no matter how Roberts and his band of racists and self-loathing Black men try to spin it.

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Bobservations

The other night Carlos and I sat down to watch Jeopardy, as is our wont, just as they were announcing the contestants. They introduced one Madeline Kaplan and Carlos said:

“Madeleine Albright?”

And because I’m who I am and cannot help myself, I said:

“Yes, the Secretary of State under Bill Clinton in on Jeopardy tonight, but even more interesting is that she’s been dead since 2022.”

I cannot help myself and thank the goddess every single day that Carlos gets me.

This Tale of Tuxedo comes to us from August 2009 when he decided to “help with the household chores.

He was always such a good boy.

I was thinking … if it’s okay for America to kidnap Maduro and his wife and put them on trial then wouldn’t it also be okay for Europe to kidnap Cankles and Melania and put them on trial?

Asking for a country.

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, the greediest man in the world, is selling his $500 million yacht because he says it’s too big to manage and costs about $30 million a year to operate or because it attracts too much attention, so let’s dissect:

He didn’t think it was too big to manage when, during construction in Rotterdam, the historic Koningshaven Bridge AKA De Hef had to be partially dismantled just to get the yacht out of dry dock … the ship was eventually towed without its masts to avoid the bridge.

And he didn’t realize that a 417-foot-long yacht, the largest yacht in the world, would attract a lot of attention.

Clearly one of the world’s richest men, who can afford a half-billion-dollar toy doesn’t have the good sense god gave a goat … or maybe the missus’ plastic surgery bills are too high.

Everybody is always talking about Saturn and the beautiful rings around the planet but here’s one celestial body with rings that I find far more interesting.

Ready for liftoff!

Speaking of Melanie …attendees at a White House event burst into laughter on Wednesday after the Slovenian Hooker praised her husband’s “empathy”:

“Most know my husband as the strong commander-in-chief, but his empathy transcends the role.”

I get it that English isn’t her strong suit, but c’mon Melanie. How empathetic was he when you were giving birth to his child and he was out fucking a porn star?

Here’s Katy Perry at the Met Gala Monday night and I can safely say this is the best she’s ever looked.

Martin Boyle is a Scottish fashion model known for his work with Armani, Calvin Klein and Diesel. Imagine that accent and then, Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: The Roundhouse

Set amid open countryside near Old Knebworth in Hertfordshire, this remarkable five-bedroom house was built on the site of a disused above-ground water tank. The circular Roundhouse radiates around a majestic central tree-like core from which its three levels and irregular roofline are suspended. Designed with handcrafted natural materials and sustainability at the forefront, it features over 4,820 square feet, with generously proportioned spaces for living and working.

The façade is defined by a jigsaw of stone, red-brick and Edwardian concrete, interspersed with bee bricks to encourage pollinators to nest. The house is topped by a weathervane and a striking cone-shaped reclaimed tiled roof, while expansive glass panels wrap all around, contributing to a sense of lightness.

The main entrance, on the first floor, is reached via an external staircase where you enter a porch with light washing down from the skylights above. There is plenty of storage space provided by hand-crafted joinery and a wooden staircase leading to an upper mezzanine floor.

The top floor is entirely occupied by the sweeping open plan reception area, where floor-to-ceiling windows remove the boundaries with the surrounding landscape while soaring ceilings and expansive skylights flood the space with natural light. Solid larch floorboards run underfoot, with large glass panels in circular formation offer a glimpse of the landing below. 

The main floor includes the kitchen, dining, and living areas. The focal point of the kitchen is a red electric-wood-fired Thornhill range cooker set into solid wood cabinetry, alongside a generous oak-topped island with seats for casual dining. Above the sink, a porthole window frames leafy views of the garden. Tucked to one side, a secondary kitchen provides additional storage and houses the integrated refrigerator and dishwasher.

There are two distinct lounging areas on this level, each catering to a different mood; one opens onto a balcony with views toward the gardens while the other is nestled in a more secluded part of the open plan and warmed by a wood burning stove. Also on this floor are the playroom and a powder room, while a light-filled mezzanine, perfect for a office, is up a small staircase.

A striking, spiral open-tread steel and ash staircase descends to the levels below. There are five bedrooms on the first floor, all accessible from the landing with the principal bedroom, with an en suite bath, opening directly onto the side garden. There is additional bathroom servicing the other bedrooms while the guest room has its own private bath.

Another staircase leads down to the versatile lower level, where a reclaimed brick archway gives way to a fully functioning oak bar with counter and a generous dining area. From here, doors open into the home gym/studio/theatre, with a wall of built-in cabinetry and cork flooring underfoot, and a separate bathroom. A wine cellar and laundry area round out the lower level.

An enchanting natural landscape wraps around the house, offering ever-changing views across the seasons. Wonderfully private, the landscaped gardens are bordered by hedgerows and established oak and fir trees, interspersed with terraced areas, shingled paths, and grassy lawns. To the rear, a paved terrace is arranged with a generous outdoor dining area looking out toward the country, sheltered from the sunlight by mature oak trees. 

The house can operate almost entirely off-grid, with a clear water septic tank, a wood-fired/electric range cooker, roof-top solar panels and an uneven shape that allows it to collect rainwater from the conical roof. Thermally broken Crittall windows enhance energy efficiency, while lightwells deliver abundant natural light to all floors. The central tree-trunk core, a towering 14-metre reclaimed steel pipe, serves as the main chimney, allowing warm air to circulate from the biomass boiler. The house has underfloor heating on all levels, 10kw of battery storage and is wired for high-speed internet connection.

The home is within easy reach of Cambridge, St Albans and under 30 minutes by train from London King's Cross and can be yours for $3.5M USD.

As always, click to emBIGGERate …

The Modern House