Monday, November 11, 2019

I Should Be Laughing: Harry Explodes

“You really believe Jimmy asked Renny to go because she’s the oldest?” Harry asked, having a hard time with Wyatt’s theories. “Well, Wyatt, she’s also been away the longest. Jimmy was about six or so when she ran off.”

“But Harry, I think what Jimmy needs right now is a mother. Even considering all the horrible things Barbara may have put him through, she was always here…. I think he needs Renny to fill that void until he gets used to being on his own.” Still sitting atop the counter, Wyatt shrugged and kicked his heels against the cupboard doors. “I don’t want to get into a lot of psychobabble bullshit—.”

“Too late Sigmund.” Harry grinned. In fact, Wyatt’s ability to see all sides of every story, to spot the darkness in the light, the brilliance of gloom, was one of the first things that attracted Harry to him; he was as abstract in thought as he was with paint brush and oils. “As a painter, you’re quite the therapist.”

“Thanks for the compliment…I think.” Wyatt smiled, too, at the good-natured name-calling before turning serious again. “All I meant was that Jimmy needs a big sister today.”

“All right then, smart guy, so why don’t you tell me what I should do.” Harry leapt off the butcher block in the middle of the kitchen and went to stand between Wyatt’s legs. With his hands on Wyatt’s thighs, Harry asked, “Any suggestions?”

“Talk to him, Harry. How hard is that? He doesn’t know a thing about you; he’s never met a gay person. You’re like this…new species…to him. Let him play Darwin, and you be the gay Galapagos.” Wyatt chuckled, but the laughter soon faded. He turned solemn and held Harry’s face in his hands. “Just talk to him.”

Shrugging, Wyatt’s hands fell from his face, and Harry moved in front of the sink. Clasping his hands behind his neck, still shrugging, Harry wondered what to say to Jimmy. What did they have in common, other than an absentee father and dead mother? Nope, the past was out; it was far too painful for him, and for Jimmy as well. Still, there had to be a way for them to get to know one another again, a bridge from the times they wanted to forget to the present. Wyatt offered a suggestion.  “He has a son, Harry. You’re an uncle.”

Stunned by the news, Harry shook his head and lowered his eyes, although Wyatt detected a slight smile creep onto his face. Letting the news of his nephew sink in, Harry imagined what kind of boy Jimmy was raising and the woman he had married. He thought silently about his brother, and then asked out loud about Renny. Did she have children? What was her life like now? Last night, in the fields, she’d muttered something about screwing up her life; he wondered what happened to her.

The more Harry thought about his family, however, about how their lives had moved on and changed since childhood, since he and Renny had run away, the angrier he became, realizing the role their mother played in shaping their futures and keeping them apart. She mistreated them so horribly, in too many ways to even remember, that they not only tried to get away from her, they turned their backs on one another. Of all the things Harry endured in this house, the things his mother made him do, this was by far the worst.

“Damn her!” Roaring, he suddenly turned and slammed his hands onto the coarse butcher block. The outburst startled Wyatt from his countertop perch, and he ran to Harry’s side, but when he saw the fury on Harry’s face, when he noticed the lack of tears, when he saw such utter disgust on his lover’s face, he stayed back. “That…bitch!

“Look what she did to us, Wyatt. Look what she turned us into. We were so afraid of what happened that we couldn’t bear to stay in touch…and can’t stand being in the same room for more than a minute.” He scooped up his coffee cup and hurled it at the wall. The thick earthenware mug slammed against the plaster, denting it, and breaking into ragged chunks that dropped to the floor and completely shattered. Coffee, black and cold, bled down the wall and pooled on the linoleum. “I hate her, Wyatt.

“And I…love her—.” Harry said, massaging his temples. When Wyatt came close, Harry bellowed again. “Don’t you talk to me about mothers. Yours was nothing like mine, so you have no right to defend her—.”

“I can’t.”

“Damn right.” Harry walked to the wall and stood over the ruins of the mug swirling in a caffeine puddle; he smashed the pieces with the heel of his boot. “I hate her for what she did to us, turning us away from one another and then…” Harry laughed, “killing herself before I could tell her what I thought.

“And now we’re home, the good children, Barbara’s babies, ready to forgive and forget because she’s dead. Well, I won’t do it, Wyatt. I can’t forget! I lost my family…I lost my past…because of her. She made me so ashamed of who I was, before I even knew who I was. She made me afraid to love anyone unless they hurt me.”

Agreeing, in silence, Wyatt stooped to pick up the splintered mug.

“Let’s stop pretending this is all so sad, shall we? Stop moaning about the poor old woman who lived alone at the end of the road and couldn’t take it any longer. She wasn’t some…sainted mother figure who happened to die. Look around!” Like a madman, Harry raced around the kitchen, opening cupboards and pulling out drawers. “This isn’t my house! When I lived here, it was dark…lonely…and hurt! It reeked of booze and cigarettes and… things I don’t even want to remember. It was filthy and quiet and—.”

Standing in the butler’s pantry, Harry tensed at the orderliness of the tiny room. “She paints a convincing picture, Wyatt, almost as good as you. Perfect house, perfect family, but it’s all too precise. She was a fucking drunk; she started to commit a slow suicide over thirty years ago and when she realized it was taking too long, she upped the ante with a handful of pills.” Turning, he knocked the broken mug from Wyatt’s hands. “Leave it…It would have stayed on the floor until I cleaned it up anyway.”

Kicking the pieces of pottery back to the baseboard, Harry followed, and punched the wall so fiercely that a row of iron trivets, hung neatly in a line, jiggled and fell to the ground. Wyatt grabbed him, holding him tight while he cried. “I hate her Wyatt…my mother! I hate….”

Saturday, November 09, 2019

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Solange Knowles, the 33-year-old sister of Beyoncé and her 56-year-old music video director, Alan Ferguson, have separated. It was confirmed on Instagram … cuz that’s how it’s done.

Who cares, right? Well, I kinda do because  she out-Goop’d Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” in the confirmation:
“the past 2 years have brought me more physical and spiritual transition and evolution than ever before my body left me with no choice but to listen and be still within that stillness i begin my journey in confronting my worst enemy, fear. ive lived my best and worst moments in front of the lens and gaze of the world since i was a teenager. ive always tried to live in my truth no matter how ugly or full of love it is. ive also tried to carve out the space to protect my heart, and my life as it unfolds, evolves, and changes. 11 years ago i met a phenomenal man who changed every existence of my life. early this year we separated and parted ways, (and tho it ain’t nan no body business) i find it necessary to protect the sacredness of my personal truth and to live in it fully just as I have before and will continue to do. it is unfair to not have power of your own story as you shape and mold and rewrite it yourself. a n–a ain’t perfect, but im leaning into the fear of the unknown and all the glory and power i know exist within god and the universes grace. may all of your transitions no matter how big or small, be kind to you and filled with incredible love and light!”
Wow, that was a word salad of epic proportions. She beats Goop in style, but Goop scored on literacy and punctuation.
Poor Sarah Jessica Parker. First, her plans to make some big coins doing a third Sex and the City movie that no one asked for, were scuttled, and now someone has made off with her Halloween pumpkins.

SJP had driven all the way to the Berkshires for the right pumpkins and then displayed them on the stoop of her NYC home and someone stole them. And, so she did what all self-entitled people do, she took to social media to report the crime and, well, the wrong was righted when people began leaving pumpkins outside the Parker-Broderick home in an attempt to save Halloween for a One Percenter.

Seriously. She whines, and people bought pumpkins for her. I guess perhaps she really did need those SATC coins.
Nicki Minaj loves a feud right up until someone throws a show, but, what did she expect folks to say when she decided to marry Kenneth Petty, a convicted sex offender? Enter loudmouth, unless it comes to her own drama, Wendy Williams, who decided she just can’t get beyond that whole sex offender business and is taking Nicki’s marriage to her snark corner. But did Williams go too far when she talked about Petty being a “killer” and a “sex offender“?

Perhaps; because Nicki took to her Queen Radio show to passive aggressively fire back about Wendy’s marital and substance abuse issues without even mentioning Williams by name:
“There are people who report the news and there are people who do it with an evil intent in their heart, viciousness. And I pray for you because I know you’re hurting and I know you must be sick and humiliated … I didn’t know that in our society, you have to be plagued by your past. I didn’t know that people can’t turn over a new leaf. I didn’t know that your viciousness and evilness was this deep rooted. When a woman isn’t really being loved at home, the viciousness is a different type. So I really wanted to pray for you today, because look at where you are now in your life. Look at what age you are. You’re sat up there being vicious all this time, and paid for that man’s mistress all these years. You paid for her shopping sprees, you paid for her hotels, you probably even paid for her GYN bills, you paid to have that baby delivered, hoe… If I were you, I would go and pray, ask for forgiveness. You can report the news–people do it all the time–without the level of viciousness and trying to play dumb and doing all this nonsense … How you doin’, stupid?”
Okay, passive aggressive until that last Wendy Williams™ line. And not a single shoe was thrown.
Katharine McPhee recently penned a sweet tribute to husband David Foster, who celebrated his 70th birthday:
“I’ve known this man for 13 years now! What was once a working relationship became a friendship and ultimately led us here. Anyone who meets him talks about how charming he is, so much so that he eventually charmed his way into my heart.”
Well, he had the time because he is literally twice her age.

And he had the experience because McPhee is the fifth Missus Foster. Don’t hold your breath for everlasting love.

Just sayin’.
Bill Murray recently went on Amy Schumer’s podcast and he talked about his dream job: working at P.F. Chang’s.

Oh, but he did, and it’s not just any P.F. Chang’s, it’s the one inside the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport:
“I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport, because I think it’s one of the best places. It looks like they are having the best time working at P.F. Chang’s.”
I can almost picture it, but then I picture the Bill Murray who ALLEGDLY threw an ashtray at his What About Bob co-star Richard Dreyfuss and wonder how Murray might react to the guest who complains about cold Won Ton Soup.

Friday, November 08, 2019

I Didn't Say It ...

Andrew Cuomo, Governor of New York, responding to the news that _____  has officially changed his primary residence from Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago in Florida:

"Good riddance. It's not like he paid taxes here anyway ... He's all yours, Florida."

And Florida kinda deserves him.
Just sayin’.
Sean Doolittle, World Series winning Washington Nationals pitcher, will not be attending the congratulatory meeting with _____:

"There's a lot of things, policies that I disagree with, but at the end of the day, it has more to do with the divisive rhetoric and the enabling of conspiracy theories and widening the divide in this country. At the end of the day, as much as I wanted to be there with my teammates and share that experience with my teammates, I can't do it. I just can't do it."

He wins on principle, too.
Sean Hannity, losing it over the impeachment inquiry:

 “What we are about to see play out is just a big show trial kind of what you would see in Cuba, the former Soviet Union, Venezuela, even Iran. The political target is afforded zero rights. You see this, we got it right here. This is not worth anything, this offers none of the protections and due process that Newt Gingrich afforded Bill Clinton. This is all in the hands of one guy. Adam Schiff gets to decide unilaterally and he is compromised in the case, and corrupt, and a liar, a congenital liar. Public proceedings, where the outcome is predetermined regardless of facts.”

I love how he says how it was Gingrich that went after Clinton, but then claims Schiff is the only Democrat going after _____.
Hannity has lost the ability to lie convincingly, or even be enraged.
Aaron Sorkin, screenwriter, director, producer, and playwright, coming for Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg for allowing political ads on the site because there are Free Speech, even when they lie:

“I admire your deep belief in free speech. But this can’t possibly be the outcome you and I want, to have crazy lies pumped into the water supply that corrupt the most important decisions we make together. Lies [like the Super PAC ad that falsely claimed Joe Biden paid a Ukrainian attorney general $1 billion to stop an investigation into his son] that have a very real and incredibly dangerous effect on our elections and our lives and our children’s lives. Every square inch of that is a lie and it’s under your logo. That’s not defending free speech, Mark, that’s assaulting truth. In most cases, in a democracy, I believe people should be able to see for themselves what politicians they may or may not vote for are saying and judge their character for themselves. If I’d known you felt that way, I’d have had the Winklevoss twins invent Facebook.”

Sorkin wrote the screenplay for The Social Network.
Look, Zuckerberg is not about Free Speech, he’s about the coins, and if people with coins want to lie on Facebook in their political ads, he’s fine as long as the checks clear.
Sidenote: in The Social Network the Winklevoss twins were played by My-Husband-In-My-Head Armie Hammer. That’s all.
Brian J. Smith, actor … Sense8 and Treadstone   coming out as gay and growing up queer in Texas:

“I was terrified. At school I really couldn’t fit in anywhere. I wasn’t a jock or a nerd. Forget about any [LGBTQ+] union or groups. There was absolutely nothing. I was completely alone. I heard all the names: pussy, faggot. I was constantly having to check myself and make sure I wasn’t looking at someone too long or making someone feel uncomfortable. A lot of my work is about that. The things that move me as an actor are those echoes that come up [about being gay].”

Welcome out, Brian, and know that just by coming out, you are helping all the younger LGBTQ community to come out and be themselves and know that they are okay.
And so, please accept as our gift, from HOMO HQ, the Official Coming Out Toaster Over™ and a copy of The Gay Agenda.
PS We’ve been watching Treadstone and you’re awfully hot. Just sayon’.
Kerr Smith, former Dawson’s Creek actor, on being half of network television’s first gay kiss almost twenty years ago:

“We were the first ones to do that. It was a crazy experience back then but you’re right, look at every single show now, it’s pretty amazing. There’s always a gay storyline, or a lesbian storyline or whatever. I was talking to Casey [Cott, on Riverdale] and he’s playing pretty much the same character I played on Dawson’s. I remember the day when Kevin Williamson came down to … where we shot, and he took me out, he said, ‘Kerr, let’s go get some coffee.’ I’m going, ‘Oh no, am I fired?’ And he throws this idea, ‘We want to go down a different avenue with Jack,’ and I go, ‘What does that mean?' Obviously, he always had the intention of making one of his characters gay, he was still in the closet at that point and every character in ‘Dawson’s Creek’ is an extension of Kevin Williamson. My storyline ended up being largely Greg Berlanti’s. It was an intense experience and I remember calling everybody that I respected and said, ‘Hey should I do this?’ Doing the first male-male kiss, I remember it was intense. Josh Jackson, I remember it was the only time he came into work when he didn’t have to work. I’m glad we did it and it was part of history.”

It was probably the first time that a lot of young gay men saw themselves, or who they could be, on television, and that counts for something.
Billy Porter, on the challenges of being black and gay in Hollywood:

“We must speak life into ourselves, even when everyone around us is doing the opposite. I never saw anything that looked like me, and visibility … when we see ourselves reflected back… is so important.”

I don’t imagine Billy saw himself in Kerr, so much, but he did see a glimpse of what might be. And Billy is now doing that for a lot of gay black men.

Thursday, November 07, 2019


Tuxedo went to the vet.

I noticed he had licked the fur off the back of his front leg and so, after Carlos did a quick check, we took him to the vet to see what was what. Turns out it may have been a bug bite that he scratched and then cut into his skin, so he began licking to clean it and the fur came off; or, it is the result of a play fight with either Max or Consuelo. Either way, it’s nothing bad and he’s on anti-biotics—which he hates—and a twice daily cleanse of the area.

But this isn’t about that, it’s about the joy of Tuxedo. See, he was a bit of an abused cat when we rescued him; he’d been adopted out several times and always returned to the vet’s office in Miami as “mean.” Then we took him, and let him acclimate to our house and the five other cats we had at the time, and Tuxedo has become the sweetest, friendliest cat ever.

And that leads us to the vet’s office in Smallville.

While he cried in the car on the ride, once there he was calm and watching the goings on from inside his carrier. When we got in with the vet tech, as she was weighing him and checking him out, he was perfectly calm and easy going. Then came to thermometer up the butt; and he was calm and handled it like any bottom at any gay bar anywhere … or something. But … as she finished with him, Tuxedo stood on his hind legs and put his paws on my chest and rested his head against me. The vet tech squeeed with delight about the hug he was giving me. And when the doctor came in, and now the vet tech was holding Tuxedo for the exam, he stood on his hind legs and gave the vet tech a hug, too. And the doctor loved that; she asked if Tuxedo would give her a hug and, yes, he did. And then they took his picture while hugging the doctor.

Long story a little shorter … as we left with his medications we stopped to pay at the desk and were asked our pet’s name.
“The one who hugged the doctor?”
“Um, yeah. Do you want one?”
“Can I?”
And she could.
CNN New Day‘s Alisyn Camerota caught up with a slew of delusional _____ voters and asked that woman up there—who reeks of _____ support—about his presidency so far and that woman called it “fantabulous.” So, Camerota asked if there was anything he could do to make her not vote for him, and brought up _____’s asinine claim:
“If he shot someone on Fifth Avenue, would you vote for him?”
“Why did he shoot him?” 
That's what she cares about. Seriously, she wouldn’t care if he shot someone, she’d just want to know why.

I’d like to know why people who are either clinically insane or dumb as a box of fucking rocks, can vote in this country.

See all the crazy HERE
Bishop Paul Morton is preaching at Greater St. Stephen Full Gospel Baptist Church—one of those megachurches—for his congregation to vote Republican because … Pete is gay:
“Dems I pray U will use wisdom in voting. Being too liberal will not win. I am not Homophobic. But it is definitely not the time 4 POTUS 2b a man with his husband up there by his side. There are those of us who love everybody But we believe in the Biblical Definition of Marriage.”
And then he called out God:
“If I am homophobic God is too. All I know is I’m following Him and His Word. I know He loves The World and I do too. But I will not go against God’s Word to please you or no one else.”
My question for Homophobic “Preacher” is this one: how does God feel about you campaigning from the pulpit? Maybe the government should tax your Republican Church. And next time you preach campaign, please recite the chapter and verse where Jesus or God say they hate fags. Because Jesus never said it; and God?  Well, She’s looking down at you and She is not happy.
RuPaul’s Drag Race alums Bob the Drag Queen, Shangela, and Eureka O’Hara are starring in a new unscripted series from HBO called We’re Here where they “teach their own ‘drag daughters’ to step outside their comfort zone for a night of no-holds-barred, full-on drag.”

Sounds fabulous. I’ll be watching it…purse first!
Are you surprised? I’m not …

Last week _____ silently abandoned the idea of releasing proposals to combat gun violence that his White House debated for months following last summer’s mass shootings.

Why did he do it? He was counseled by political advisers, including campaign manager Brad Parscale and acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, that gun legislation could splinter his political coalition. So, he’ll continue to let Americans die by gun violence because he wants to be reelected.

That’s all.
Oh but wait, he’s also teaching hate to children.

At a Halloween party last week at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building children were encouraged to help “Build the Wall” with their own personalized bricks. Children taught to build a wall to keep brown kids out.

Photos posted on social media show Vice President Michael Elizabeth Pence was present for that racist xenophobic Halloween, but his handlers want y’all to know that he did not go beyond his office, which is on the second floor.

Then how was he there?
Miss Lindsey Graham said this in September:
“If you could show me that, you know, _____ actually was engaging in a quid pro quo, outside the phone call, that would be very disturbing.”
Miss Lindsey this week:
“I've written the whole process off. ... I think this is a bunch of B.S.”
He is putting his love for kissing _____’s ass above the country.
Blue Wave what?

Democrats claimed majorities in both houses of Virginia’s legislature in Tuesday’s statewide elections, securing the first unified Democratic government in that state in 26 years.

Also in Virginia, Democrat Ghazala Hashmi unseated GOP state Senator Glen Sturtevant this week to become the first Muslim woman elected to the state senate.

And … Juli Briskman, that Virginia woman who was fired from her job after flipping off _____’s motorcade in 2017 won a seat on the Loudoun County Board of Supervisors, beating the incumbent Republican in her district.

And … Virginia Democratic state Delegate Danica Roem—the first openly transgender person in any state legislature—defeated Republican challenger Kelly McGinn.

And … in Kentucky the underdog Democratic Attorney General Andy Beshear appeared have won his gubernatorial bid over Republican Governor Matt Bevin, a staunch _____ ally. _____ even campaign for Bevin last week, begging people not to vote Blue saying, ‘Don’t do that to me.’

But they did.
Finally … Alfonso Troyano.

A Spanish model—and you know I just loves my Latino men—with gorgeous hair, beautiful eyes; that smile, those dimples. The body.

Even rocking the 70s porn ‘stache he floats my boat.