The Funny Papers

Benjamin Slyngstad, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, David Horsey, Ann Telnaes, Adam Zyglis, Matt Wuerker, Mike Luckovich, Dave Whamond, Michael de Adder, Tim Campbell, Clay Bennett, Nick Anderson, Bill Bramhall,

Why Is It ...

… that even those closest to me cannot tell if my smile means ‘Hello’ or if it means, ‘Fuck off.’

… that my co-worker was upset when I told her that I never knew I didn’t give a shit about so many things until she started talking.

… that sometimes I talk to myself and then we both laugh and laugh!

… that when people tell me that I’m very quiet, they get upset when I reply, “I know, why don’t you join me.”

… that when someone asks, ‘Are you crazy?’ I simply reply, ‘Yes,’ and just like that the discussion is over

… that while I appreciate unsolicited advice, I often tell those people to save their thoughts for the trainwreck looking back at them in the mirror.

… when people tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room I tell them it’s called arson and they are called witnesses.

… that when I complain to my therapist about how the voices won’t stop he reminds me that they are people, and they are allowed to talk.

… that I cannot control who walks into my life but I can control which window I throw them out of

… that people need to realize that, while I am the kind of loyal friend who would take a bullet for them, I am also the reason we’re being shot at.

I Didn't Say It ...

Barack Obama, my President, speaking at Reverend Jesse Jackson’s funeral last week:

“We are living in a time when it can be hard to hope. Each day we wake up to some new assault on our democratic institutions. Another setback is the idea of the rule of law. An offense to common decency. Every day you wake up to things you just didn’t think were possible. Each day we’re told by those in high office to fear each other, and to turn on each other. And that some Americans count more than others, and that some don’t even count at all! Everywhere we see greed and bigotry being celebrated and bullying and mockery masquerading as strength! We see science and expertise denigrated, while ignorance and dishonesty, and cruelty, and corruption ,are reaping untold rewards! every single day we see that and it’s hard to hope In those moments. So it may be tempting to give to get discouraged, to give in to cynicism. It may be tempting for some to compromise with power, and grab what you can, or even for good people to maybe just put your head down and wait for the storm to pass. But this man, Reverend Jesse Louis Jackson, inspires us to take a harder path. His voice calls on each of us to be heralds of change, to be messengers of hope, to step forward and say, ‘Send me!’ wherever we have a chance to make an impact, whether it’s in our school, or our workplaces, or our neighborhoods, or our cities. Not for fame, not for glory, or because success is guaranteed, but because it gives our life purpose. Because it aligns with what our faith tells us God demands. And because if we don’t step up, no one else will. How fortunate we were that Jesse Jackson answered that call. What a great debt we owe to him. May God bless Reverend Jackson. May he rest in eternal peace. God bless you.”

This is how a president marks the passing of a Civil Rights legend.

Sadly, our current regime failed to even acknowledge the man’s passing, didn’t lower a single flag to half-mast, though they afforded that honor to racist Charlie Kirk.

I cannot help to think it’s because Jackson was a Black man, plain and simple, and our current president is a racist.

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Ruben Gallego, Democrat Senator from Arizona, on funding Cankles’ illegal War of Distraction:

“Americans are being told we can’t afford lower drug prices, affordable childcare, or relief at the grocery story, but somehow we can afford a pointless way that costs $1 BILLION every single day. What the fuck happened to America  first?”

A war where schoolchildren are killed by American bombs. Is that America first? While people cannot afford food, or gas, or their energy bills, or their healthcare, but we can afford billions to bomb children?

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Melanie Stansbury, New Mexico Democrat Representative, calling for DUI hire Pete Hegseth’s removal from office for his incompetence, cruelty, and illegal actions:

“I wanna just address the elephant in the room. And that is that it is time for Pete Hegseth to go. Now, whether the Secretary of Defense resigns of his own accord or whether he is removed, it is way overdue … because we have seen over the last year, nothing but death, destruction … and the unauthorized, illegal, and reckless use of the United States military to wage unauthorized wars, civilian deaths, and the dismantling of the agency that is meant to safeguard American national security …. So let's lay out the case. Today, it was confirmed by NPR that the US Department of Defense is not investigating if a US Tomahawk led to the death of 165 school children and teachers in Iran, but why? That means that the agency that is intended to secure national security used American munitions to murder 165 children and did not have appropriate safeguards in place to prevent that from happening. Now, how did this happen? What we know is that Pete Hegseth was personally responsible for downscaling the office that is intended to prevent civilian casualties. And so because they were operating with a skeleton crew for whatever reason, the fact that that target was incorrect was never flagged inside the system. And so a US bomb was allowed to be used to kill school children. Now, in addition to that, seven American service members have now died in this war. And it is reported that up to 150 American soldiers have now been injured. And this is a war of choice, a war that has not been authorized by Congress, a war that the president and the secretary of defense cannot even explain to the American people, a war that they do not seem to have an exit strategy for …. In addition to that, Secretary Hegseth has gutted the fundamental legal checks inside of Department of Defense that are designed to make sure that the U.S. military is following the rule of law, not just domestically, but internationally. We know that they have now engaged in three separate military actions that have not been authorized by Congress, including strikes in the Caribbean that have led to the death of over a hundred civilians. [We know that] secretary, Hegseth, misappropriated $93 billion, not million, but billion dollars just a couple of months ago on lobster and king crab and cable TV and furniture for the Department of Defense. These are your taxpayer dollars that he went on an absolute blowout, spending spree at the Department of Defense. While these folks at the administration are telling you that they don't have enough money for American healthcare and food assistance and housing for the American people … Pete Hegseth has $93 billion to waste on furniture and crab and lobster … This is absolutely disgustingly unacceptable. They have issued purges … some of the most distinguished members of our military have been asked to leave their posts. They have erased the history of our proud service members who have served this country generation after generation. And they have misappropriated American taxpayer dollars to fight wars that they told you they would not fight. And so it is time for Pete Hegseth to be gone. It is time for him to go. So whether he resigns or whether it requires congressional action, it is time for Pete Hegseth to go.”

She is absolutely right. Get this insecure alcoholic Christian extremist man-child out of office before more innocent civilians die in illegal wars.

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Irene Maria Montero Gil, Spain’s Member of the European Parliament, with a suggestion for Cankles:

“Send your son, [Cankles]. If you want war, send your own people to the front line. We in Spain want our children, our daughters and our loved ones at home, safe. We don’t want war. Those who want war should send their own children.”

Barron, anyone?

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Pete Buttigieg, Afghanistan War veteran, former Secretary of Transportation and future President of the United States, takes on Cankles and his “war of choice" against Iran:

“This nation learned the hard way that an unnecessary war, with no plan for what comes next, can lead to years of chaos and put America in still great danger. When you get ready to deploy, you of course are constantly thinking about the worst-case scenario, and the scenario that you pray hard is never going to happen is that your loved ones get the knock on the door. That has now happened to six families that we know of. And the people who serve [are] patriots, they’re ready to go wherever their chain of command tells them they are needed. In exchange for them making that promise, putting their lives on the line, they are supposed to be assured that their commander in chief would never put their lives on the line unless it was absolutely necessary. Unless there was no alternative. Billions of taxpayer dollars are now flowing to the Middle East instead of going toward pressing needs at home. Prices will rise. The debt will grow. The economy will become even less stable, and Washington will be even less capable of facing urgent needs at home.”

Enough is enough. Listen to those who have actually served; read your history books about Vietnam. End the war.

And to be clear, it is a war, a war for oil, and a war for distraction from the fact that the current president is a pedophile.

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Bobservations

There is a woman who gives Carlos rides to court if I can’t and I have dubbed her his CarWife. He loathes that so you know I run with it.

Well, this woman asked him to meet her son, who is on the Autism spectrum, because both he and Carlos are science nerds.

This week the woman’s husband had a minor heart procedure and Carlos texted that he was glad it all went well and signed off:

“Sending him love.”

He tells me this and I ask, dumbfounded:

“Are you dating this entire family? I mean, first the mom and then the son and now the husband?”

His mother-wife, and son-husband, and husband-husband??? It’s all too much!

This Tuxedo Says is from September 2021 when COVIDIOTS were spreading their so-called cures:

"I swear, one of these days Tuxedo is gonna snap his neck with all the head shaking at the daily news."

I still feel that way today!

Ketanji Brown Jackson graduated magna cum laude from Harvard-Radcliffe College and cum laude from Harvard Law School where she was an editor of the Harvard Law Review. She had 20 years’ experience as a lawyer and 10 years’ experience as a federal judge when she was nominated for the Supreme Court. And the GOP called her a DEI hire.

Markwayne Mullin has a high school diploma and a 2-year community college degree in construction management, no military or law enforcement service, and was a cow-calf rancher. He was nominated to be secretary of Homeland Security. And the GOP rallied behind him.

Think on that!

After San Antonio officials removed a rainbow crosswalk in the city’s Pride Cultural Heritage District, the community responded by installing rainbow sidewalks.

This is The Resistance at work!

You wonder why Cankles wants the SAVE Act passed so desperately that he’s refusing to sign any other bills until it goes through? Look at this:

In 2024, Cankles won nearly 58% of the vote in Starr County, Texas.

Last week, 96% of all votes cast for Senator were in the Democratic Primary.

Yes, you read that right.

If Cankles wants boots on the ground in Iran he should deploy the ICEstapo. They’ve spent months terrorizing American cities like some kind of elite military force so send ‘em to war.

Let’s see how brave they are now.

Oy, Cankles’ favorite attorney lapdog, Alina Habba, made such a gaffe on live TV while trying to nail Kamala Harris. She was being interviewed on Newsmax when she tried to say that Kamala Harris didn’t know Reverend Jesse Jackson so why did she attend the funeral:

“If you look at Kamala Harris’ comments of desperation at Reggie Jackson’s funeral, and she didn’t even know him, if you look at this, they’re reaching so far.”

Um, Alina, honey? It was the funeral of civil rights icon Reverend Jesse Jackson and not the funeral of a former baseball player who is, in fact, not dead.

Speaking Cankles held a press conference at his Doral golf resort amid the ongoing illegal war in Iran and said this idiocy:

“All of the people that died through the roadside bombs. Died and are, right now, walking around with no legs, no arms.”

Seriously stupid and demented and unfit for office.

Kyle Ponte is a Los Angeles–based dancer, choreographer, model, and actor with over a decade of professional experience spanning stage, film, television, and commercial work so Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday 1908 Industrial Live/Work Space

I realize this is not for everyone, but I admire the vast space of the work area and the clean, modern lives of the living areas … with gardens and views, too.

In a city where most windows overlook greenery or bustling streets, this property offers a rare and unique view: a window onto art and creativity. Behind the facade of a former electricity warehouse built in 1908 is an exceptional live/workspace that harmoniously blends industrial history and contemporary comfort.

Since 2009, the current owner has been transforming the warehouse into a studio and residential space. The result? An impressive main building of 3000 square feet and a forty-tw0 foot high ceiling, where metal trusses, tall windows, and distinctive brickwork set the tone. Up the iron stairs, a bright 1300 square foot living space with an open-plan kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom; next door is a separate studio, ideal for guests or creative projects, and a spacious office overlooking the garden. At the rear, two warehouses/workshops, various storage spaces, and a cellar await meaning it can become whatever you might want or need. Practicality has also been considered throughout with five private parking spaces behind an automatic gate on the left, and an intimate 860 square foot  city garden on the right.

The loft is well placed for city living, with neighborhood cafés and shops nearby. Park Spoor Noord is a short walk away, while Antwerp’s historic center, the Eilandje docklands and central station are all easily reached.

This is a unique opportunity to merge life, work and art under one roof and all for $1.5M.

The Spaces