The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Steve Sack, Kevin Siers, Darrin Bell, Jack Ohman, Bill Day, Mike Luckovich, Marc Murphy, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Trevor Irvin, Michael de Adder

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Manhattan federal Judge Ronnie Abrams recently ruled that The Huffington Post was within their rights to print a photo that did not belong to them of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda and writing that Hamm was apparently “very blessed south of the border, and he, or those who examine photographs of him, really want you to know that.”

I did. I examined it very carefully and for a long while.

HuffPo was being sued by the Hammaconda photographer Lawrence Schwartzwald who wanted to be paid for the image, but the judge ultimately decided that HuffPost was making fun of Jon’s Johnson. Abrams said there’s legal precedent for news outlets using licensed images for stories that “illustrate what all the fuss is about.”

And I thank her for that, and I’ll also thank Hamm, for the Hammaconda, and for realizing that this is really no big deal.

No pun intended.

photo

Last May actor Brian Austin Green announced that he and his wife, actress Megan Fox, were really really finished with their marriage this time. And then Megan proved she was even more  done by quickly moving on from Green to rapper Machine Gun Kelly.

Who cares, right? Well, actress Vanessa Marcil, who was BAG’s girlfriend and baby mama in the early 2000s,  does and she’s speaking out.

Marcil And Green  hooked up in 1999 on the set of Beverly Hills, 90210 and in 2002 she gave birth to their son, Kassius Marcil-Green. They split up in 2003 and she has spent the last seventeen years fighting Green, and Fox, over custody of their child. Vanessa ALLEGES that Brian and Megan tried to get custody of Kassius, which Vanessa wasn’t into, and when a judge threw out their case, Brian basically stopped seeing his son.

So, what does Marcil do now? Come down squarely on Team Megan in a divorce that is literally none of her business, and hijack Megan’s Instagram account to tell the world that Green is a Bad Dad:

“Our job as adults is not to protect adults but to protect our children … I just speak the truth now at my son‘s request in order to help my son heal and not shoulder these secrets anymore. If his father‘s actions reflect poorly on him that is his doing. Not mine. … I just finally, now that Kass is grown, tell the truth regarding a court case and him cutting his son out of his life for 5 years. If you look back at our history his father publicly tried to slander me, lie about me, shame me as a working mother and take full custody of my son. ... He’s lucky that I don’t speak poorly of him after what he put our innocent boy through. He’s very big on doing things that publicly make him look like a nice guy. However, it is who you are when no one is looking that shows your true character.”

For someone who says she won’t speak ill of her son’s dad, she’s rather good at it. And, in the words of Lisa Rinna to Denise Richards on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:

“Oof, you’re so angry.”

Vanessa? Hon? Your son with Green is a grown man now. Let him deal on his own with his father and perhaps you could stay out of it? And perhaps you should stay out of another’s person’s marriage and not be so filled with glee that another family has broken up when you were clearly so hurt when your family fell apart.

M’kay?

photo

Jude Law and his 32-year-old psychologist wife, Dr. Phillipa Coan, recently welcomed their first child together.

How nice, but for Jude it was also Baby #6. He  has three kids with his first wife, Sadie Frost—Rafferty, 23, Iris, 19, and Rudy, 13—plus another child with Samantha Burke—11-year-old Sophia—and a five-year-old daughter Ada, with Catherine Harding.

So, for the scoreboard that four mothers, six children, two wives, and two girlfriends.

That’s all.

photo 1 photo 2 photo 3 photo 4

After leaving the Star Wars franchise, John Boyega has been speaking out about the online racist abuse he took from rabid fans, and the frustration he felt that the creators and studio did not have his back. He also put the creators on blast by acknowledging that the franchise has decided to sideline the characters of color. And now fragrance brand Jo Malone is apologizing to Boyega after they erased him from their ad campaign in China.

Boyega was Jo Malone’s first Black global ambassador last year and wrote and directed a commercial promoting company’s aftershave. But when it came to the company’s Chinese ad campaign Jo Malone inserted Asian actor Liu Haoran, and white and Asian actors while removing Boyega and other Black actors.

Jo Malone is now forced to apologize, or faux-pologize because there is no excuse:

“We deeply apologize for what on our end was a mistake in the local execution of the John Boyega campaign. John is a tremendous artist with great personal vision and direction. The concept for the film was based on John’s personal experiences and should not have been replicated.”

Um, a mistake? You erased a Black man and put an Asian actor in his place. That doesn’t happen by accident. Even worse … Boyega was not made aware of the recasting and found out about it on Twitter.

photo

When last we left Horrible Parents and College Scam Artists, Lori Loughlin, and Mossimo Giannulli admitted their guilt about cheating their illiterate daughters’ way in USC and were sentenced to two months in jail, for her, and five months, for him. But their prison stay, as short and privileged as it is, will make Felicity Huffman’s eleven-day jail stint for the same crime seem like a life sentence at Alcatraz.

Lori and Mossimo are basically going to Camp Rich People Prison. Lori will be at the Federal Correctional Institution in Victorville, while Mossimo will head to the Federal Correctional Institution in Lompoc.

Federal Correctional Institutions that offer their guests, er, inmates, yoga, Pilates and origami, as well as music lessons.

These people cheated and bribed to get their daughters into a prestigious school and their sentence is Summer Camp.

Good thing they’re rich and white …

photo

Another Hero Has Died

I have several  heroes in my life, people who have inspired me to do certain things, but there are three I am thinking of today …

Rosa Parks, who taught me to stand up.

Harvey Milk who taught me to come out.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg who taught me to speak up.

We are at an extremely dangerous time in our country and we all need to be like these three.

Stand up for what’s right.

Come out for the sake of very one.

Speak up against those who seek to divide us.

Be like Rosa … be like Harvey … and be like RBG.

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

 

I Didn't Say It ...

Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, who testified against IMPOTUS  in his impeachment before being fired by him, giving his opinion of _____:

“President _____ should be considered to be a useful idiot and a fellow traveler, which makes him an unwitting agent of Putin. … They may or may not have dirt on him, but they don’t have to use it. They have more effective and less risky ways to employ him. He has aspirations to be the kind of leader that Putin is, and so he admires him. He likes authoritarian strongmen who act with impunity, without checks and balances. So, he’ll try to please Putin. … In the Army we call this ‘free chicken,’ something you don’t have to work for—it just comes to you. This is what the Russians have in ______: free chicken.”

Well, the chicken part I get. Draft dodger.

photo

Levi Davis, a former Bath and England rugby player and Celebrity X-Factor contestant, coming out as bisexual:

“Hi guys. I just want to tell you something that’s been eating away at me for four years now. I want to be open and honest with you boys, as friends and team-mates. I’m bisexual. It’s something I have known since I was 18. Hiding who you are can kill you – and has killed people,” Davis added. “I don’t know yet where I am going, but by talking today I can walk hand-in-hand with whoever I want, and it won’t matter anymore because it’s out there. I realize, though, that I am a bit niche and difficult to categorize: a black, bisexual, privately educated rugby professional.”

Welcome Out, Levi, and please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ. the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of the Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

photo

Bob Woodward, journalist, on _____ knowing about the dangers of COVID-19 and failing to tell the American people:

 “It was a stunning moment in the _____ presidency, and, I think, in American history. Because he then went on to publicly dismiss the virus. And he knew that this was a pandemic coming … and he said, ‘Well I don’t want to create a panic.’ We know from history when the public is told the truth, they organize. We have a problem, we’re going to step up. And ______ thought, ‘oh well, they’ll panic when there’s a crisis.’ The President, particularly knows something, it’s time to tell the public in some form. He failed. This is the tragedy. The President of the United States has a duty to warn. The public will understand, but if they get the feeling that they’re not getting the truth, then you’re going down the path of deceit and cover-up.”

He didn’t warn us because it would have made him look weak, so he let the country collapse, the economy crumble, businesses shutter, people die, all for his ego.

photo

Seth Meyers, Late Night host, blasting FOX News’ Lou Dobbs for saying _____ had his best day ever when the Woodward story broke:

“I’ve heard of brown-nosing, but apparently Dobbs is in there so deep his hair turned brown. Normally when an old man says something like that you have to tell him, ‘Grandpa, Harry Truman is dead!’”

Lou Dobbs knows where his bread is buttered so he toe’s the Fox News line, lest he be ousted for, or I don’t know, being a true journalist and not a lackey/

photo

Peter Strzok, former FBI agent, on believing _____ is working with the Russians:

“I believed at the time in 2016 and I continue to believe that Donald ______ is compromised by the Russians. And when I say that I mean that they hold leverage over him that makes him incapable of placing the national interest, the national security ahead of his own. One of the largest ways that people in foreign governments gain leverage, certainly in the case of the president, is through financial entanglements. And I think when you take a look at the _____ financial enterprise, particularly its relationship with Russian, with Russian monies and potentially those related to organized crime and other elements, that those interactions have placed him in a position where the Russians have leverage over him and are able to influence his actions.”

And all those rightwingnut, America first, faux-patriots who went crazy over a black man in the White House, goose-step along with a Russian asset.

photo

Harry Reid, former Senate Majority Leader, sounding positive about the down ballot voting this November:

“I think we’re going to retake the Senate. I think we’re going to win in Colorado, Montana, Maine, North Carolina, [David] Perdue’s seat in Georgia — we’re going to win in Arizona. And we’re in good shape in Iowa. If I’m only right on three of those we’ll still take the Senate.”

And if we do, and if _____ is reelected, then the Democrats can block him at every turn, and impeach his traitorous flabby ass.

photo

Carrie Evans, member of the Minot, North Dakota City Council, speaking to bigots who were objecting to the city flying a Pride Flag during Pride Month:

“So Mr. Walker, if you’re not aware, and I think a lot of people in this room are not aware, and have come here just because this is a gay issue, I am proudly the first openly elected lesbian in North Dakota. So that is why I am not paying any heed to your crap! We, the people. I’m the people. I live in Minot. I am a taxpayer. I am a person. I get to see myself represented on that flagpole just as much as the people who got the Juneteenth flag last month, as much as the POW/MIA will get later this month. Every single person is entitled to see themselves represented. We are not some group of people who live in San Francisco or Seattle. We are HERE. We are your elected officials. We are your brothers. we are your sisters, and don’t tell me you’re not hatred or anger. That’s all I feel. I’ve had to listen to it for days now, as has the mayor and many of my colleagues. It is unacceptable! This city is big enough for all of us. Me having a flag flying does not take away anything from your rights. But you know what it does for me? It shows me I live in a city that appreciates and embraces me, and my community. And I can live here and feel safe. That’s what it does. I’m sorry that it doesn’t make you feel comfortable, but we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going away!”

Mic drop.

photo

Bobservations

Yesterday I was discussing the Chris Evans accident dick pic that blew up the internet this week … of course, this was after a several minute discussion where I had to explain to Carlos who Chris Evans is, because the man knows nothing from pop culture.

But after that, with Carlos up to speed, I told him that Evans had finally responded to the picture with a new Tweet that said:

“Now that I have your attention … VOTE Nov 3^rd!!!”

And Carlos had the best response when he said:

“Just don’t vote for the dickhead.”

Every so often he gets a good one off.

Tuxedo thinks maybe it’s time to put women un charge and end this misogynistic bull shiz. But then, he’s just a cat …

Maybe if Bob Woodward had said something about _____’s decision to downplay the virus, some people might not have gotten sick … like the thousands who attended any of _____’s six indoor rallies after he acknowledged on those tapes that the virus was lethal and airborne.

But _____ knew, and still held a series of rallies to boost his ego, so, yeah, that’s on him. And so is this …

At his last rally in Nevada, where a crowd of over a thousand was mostly mask-less, _____was asked about the lack of masks. He told the reporter he was more worried about her because she was awfully close to him. And when she reiterated that she was talking about the rally crowd, he replied that he was kept far away from them.

See, he doesn’t care about ‘them,’ even if they attend his rally, he was only concerned about himself.

That should tell you all you need to know!

Meanwhile, back at Chris Evans dick … his brother, Scott Evan, a hot gay cutie, reacted to the brouhaha over the photo by tweeting”

“Was off social media for the day yesterday. So. What’d I miss?”

You missed a dick, but they’re everywhere so ….

This week ______ participated in a town hall, hosted by ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos and the subject of masks came up. _____ says he often wears them—in hospitals or other places—and then blamed Joe Biden and the Democrats for not instituting a mask- mandate:

“They said at the Democrat Convention…they’re going to do a national mandate, they never did it, because they’re checked out, they never did it.”

His idiot twisted logic caused Joe Biden to Tweet that he cannot mandate a nationwide mask order because:

“I am not currently president.”

Currently!

In Ego News … Madonna is writing and directing another film, which begs the question, Did no producers or film studios ever see W.E.?

The film is about Madonna’s favorite subject … Madonna … and I imagine she’ll try to use some computer magic to make her play the star of the film.

I see clusterfuck.

Lifetime has just announced that it will produce its first gay-themed Christmas movie, The Christmas Setup, which will star real-life married couple Blake Lee, from Parks and Recreation, and Ben Lewis, from The Handmaid’s Tale).

Lewis plays a New York City lawyer who goes to Milwaukee to spend Christmas with his mom, who meddles in his love life by arranging for him to run into his old crush played by Lee.

Leis and Lee had a much better meet back in 2010 when they randomly met in the men’s room at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood for the premiere of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, which costarred Lee, who told his friends:

“I just met the man I’m going to marry—at the urinal.”

I’d like to see that film.

Fashion label Patagonia’s latest line of clothing features a rather interesting political message on the tag which many think is Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard’s way of getting his views across. A statement on the brand’s website emphasizes its investment in the election result and the impact it will have on environmental policy.

I am not a label gay, but I can get behind this one.

South Carolina’s own Lady G, aka Miss Lindsey, AKA ReTHUGlican lapdog Lindsey Graham was left with egg on his face—and he usually prefers some other sticky substance—after his campaign tried to smear his opponent Jaime Harrison by saying Harrison wouldn’t release his taxes. Graham even suggested Harrison was hiding something.

And in an instant Harrison released his tax returns but got the last ;laugh when he Tweeted back at Miss Lindsey:

“Done. Now do President _____.”

And … snap!

For the last couple of years, I was hooked on the Starz channel’s Power, about a drug kingpin trying, and failing often, to go straight. To be fair, the hook started when I first saw Omari Hardwicke as Ghost, but that’s just me.

This new reboot of the show is Ghost: Power, Book II, which tells the tale of Ghost’s son Tariq, who may, or may not, become a drug kingpin. But the hotties this season are Daniel Bellomy as Zeke Cross, the star athlete, top right, and Gianni Paolo as Brayden, the rich kid, top right, and the Will He or Won’t He Become a Husband In My Head, Justin Marcel McManus as Jabari Reynolds, the hot teacher.

Keep me after class? Okay!

Architecture Wednesday: Yard Under The Tree

The name of the project, Yard under the Tree, comes from the site environment; the home is surrounded by poplar trees, walnut trees and a large vegetable field. The home was designed and built to accommodate the surrounding trees, mountains and views.

There was a much older old building that existed in the courtyard but had fallen into a state of disrepair and is not consistent with the bright open spaces most people want in their homes even though the original style of the building is quite typical … a memory symbol of local dwellings.

So, it wasn’t torn down and forgotten. The nostalgia of Chinese culture is concentrated in the countryside and this home’s "original taste" is no doubt a continuation of that memory, but there are a variety of problems. Urbanites who come to the countryside yearn for the traditional way of life and yet crave all the modern conveniences.So, the old house became the core of the space and the modern house was built around and beside it.

At the boundary of the terrace, the old and new buildings are joined by a corridor that extends from the outside to the interior of the building, blurring the boundary between the courtyard and the interior. The inner courtyard preserves the original trees and surrounds them with living rooms and tea rooms, open windows and terraces, and the original courtyard.

You live in old and new, and look out onto old and new.

Click to emBIGGERate ...

ArchDaily