The Funny Papers

Reynold Philip, Benjamin Slyngstad, Bill Bramhall, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Adam Zyglis, Max Espinoza, Ed Wexler, Marc Murphy, Gary Huck, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t understand that I am fully aware of how annoying I can be but that’s their problem and not mine.

… that there is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul … especially when it’s over ice with a celery stalk and vodka.

… that I shout “not friendly” when people approach me while out walking and I don’t have a dog; I’m talking about me.

… that when I call in sick to work never ask me what’s wrong; I’m sick of y’all, that’s what.

… that no one realizes that my toxic trait is that you cannot threaten me with screenshots of what I said. I said what I said. Get me a microphone and I’ll say it again.

… that try as I might I cannot find bug repellent that works on people.

… that if you text me and I text right back do not ever assume you can call me because you know my phone is in my hand. I will call the police.

… that I tell people I’m vegan … well, a social vegan … I avoid meet.

… that Carlos still hasn’t learned that when I suggest we play doctor what I mean is that he go sit in another room for an hour while I read.

… that I didn’t know life was gonna be like this? Had I known I would have gotten a job and bought a house in first grade.

I Didn't Say It ...

Ts Madison, entertainer and trans actress and first Black trans woman to star in and executive produce her own reality series, on being a trans person in America today:

“Your visibility is your activism. Your presence is your advocacy. There is no reason for us to be living in the shadows. We’re living in a climate right now where the erasure of trans people… seems as if it’s been priority number one in this administration. The way that you garner votes is you fear monger, especially from this regime.”

Her new activism comes at a time when transgender Americans face a wave of new restrictions from the recent passage of Idaho’s bill criminalizing … CRIMINAZLIZING … transgender people’s bathroom use to Kansas,  where the government invalidated transgender drivers’ licenses and ID cards.

We all need to stand up, by and for our trans brothers and sisters.

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D.L. Hughley, comedian, on not voting for Cankles:

“I am very proud I’ve never voted for a president who raped women and children. I never voted for a president who defrauded charities. I never voted for a president who celebrated the death of anybody. And half [the people] in this country can’t say that.”

Count me proud, too!

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Andy Kim, New Jersey Democrat Senator, on the Pentagon preparing for a weeks-long ground invasion:

“We cannot have American troops on the ground in Iran. This is going to be such a risky operation. And for what purpose? This is not an end to this war, this is something that will only prolong it and increase the risk at a time that we’ve seen already so many service members put at harm’s way, and this administration not giving them everything that they need. Where are they going to bunker down? Where are they going to get provisions? Putting them in that kind of way is so risky.”

This administration, from Cankles on down, is woefully inept at leading, and will end up getting more Americans killed and for what? Money? Ego? The drunken leanings of a Fox News pundit?

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Billy Porter, out actor and activist , protesting at the Kennedy Center and warning that Cankles cultural agenda is threatening creative independence:

“Authoritarian governments go after the arts first because the arts have the power to reach inside of people and change the molecular structure from the inside out. As a Black gay out artist, I caught the wave of what we now know as performative wokeness and I crashed through glass ceilings that were concrete. And I have noticed the opportunities slowly drying up for the work that I do. The Midwest CBS shows and the cop shows… all of that stuff still exists but when it’s time to talk about heart, when it’s time to talk about connection, when it’s time to talk about people that don’t look like everybody else… there’s not a lot of that work going on right now. People feel safer when we come out, and we speak. They feel like, ‘OK, maybe I can give something of myself and join… and not feel alone.’ This is not the normal resistance. We have to redefine what going high looks like in this new world order. We have a government who does not follow the rules.”

The arts are where we see the world, and see ourselves, and if we allow the government to control and shape the arts, millions of voices will be silenced and you will only hear and see what the regime wants for you.

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James Carville, on the future of Cankles as he sees it:

“Listen up, [Cankles]. I’m gonna tell your fat fucking ass something. You’re getting ready to get the living crap kicked out of you. You don’t know, because they haven’t really told you. You’re gonna know what it feels like to get punched in the mouth by Mike Tyson. You know who’s gonna turn on you? What’s left of the Republican senators. There may be 43 to 45 of them left. Now the House is gonna vote to impeach you. You’re gonna be impeached in 2027. These senators can’t stand you. These Republican senators, they can’t stand you. They have to be there because of their politics, back in their states, but it’s gonna be apparent to them that you’re a loser. You’re a losing fucking bet. We refer to it as a come-to-Jesus moment. You’re gonna assess where you are, even through your cloudy, stupid, fat-addled brain, you’re gonna figure out, ‘I gotta get the hell out of here.’ You’re going to cut a deal and you’re gonna resign. [Vance] is going to pardon you. He’s got to pardon a lot of other people, but he’s a creepy, ambitious little twerp. He’ll do whatever he can to get into the White House. But they can’t pardon you for state crimes. They can’t pardon you in the International Criminal Court.”

Oh James, please be right, dear goddess please be right. I mean, I know he’ll run, but we can still punish him by freezing his assets and making sure he never ever comes on American soil ever again … not even to be buried on the 15th green at one of his punk-ass golf courses.

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Bobservations

Years ago shortly after moving into Casa Bob y Carlos, we went to a plant sale at the State Farmer’s Market site. We saw many plants we liked, though we weren’t looking for anything in particular, and Carlos spied the Popcorn Bush AKA Popcorn Viburnum. It was described as having flowers that looked like popcorn balls and Carlos wanted it.

It stood about a foot-and-a-half tall and Carlos told me the guy wanted $17 for it so he got one and headed to the checkout. Carlos misunderstand the price and it was actually $70 and he was too embarrassed to say ‘No,’ so we drove home with it.

Carlos planted it near the shed and didn’t like it there so he dug it up and replanted it along the fence so we could see it from the kitchen; he didn’t like it there either and was going to move it when I told him this was the last move so he’d better pick a good spot.

That’s the Popcorn bush today in its final spot in the yard just off the deck. I’d say we got our seventy bucks worth!

This Tale of Tuxedo is from March 2009:

I was on yard patrol today, raking leaves, bagging leaves, hauling bags across lawn to be put in the car and taken away. Tuxedo likes to sit in the window and watch. But then he gave me that Pouty Cat face when I came in because he isn't allowed to go outside. Then he decided to punish me for leaving him in the house while I was outside having "fun."

Note to self: Don't piss off the cat!

We had a great time at Columbia’s No Kings protest with more people in attendance than the last one—over 1500—and more Republicans out protesting too.

Keep it up, The Resistance is real! 

After his second drunk driving crash, this time a rollover accident in which he flipped his car on a suburban street Tiger Woods has said the reason he has never used a private driver over the years is due to concerns over his privacy, never mind the people he might kill.

A source says Tiger “doesn’t want anyone to watch over him or know what he is doing” which may explain all the pills ALLEGEDLY found in the car and his new statement about going to rehab.

Well, rehab is to keep him out of jail, they say.

Dear Pam Bondi: Do you want a great new thing to investigate besides Epstein? I recommend Pete Hegseth’s insider trading. You’re welcome.

By now you’ve all heard that cosplay actor Kristi DogKiller Noem’s husband also like to play dress up … as a woman.

Now a rumor is circulating that the person who informed on Bryon Noem was an immigrant sex worker, possibly in the country illegally, who wanted to go public about Noem’s husband using her services online.

Noem has asked for privacy during this difficult time so I will give her as much privacy as she planned on giving trans Americans when she wanted them followed into bathrooms and arrested.

Payback is a bitch, eh?

Simon Lööf is a thirty-two-year-old Swedish actor, model and former ice hockey player … if you’re into Heated Rivalry then the question is, Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: South Pasadena Carriage House

This is an extraordinarily private, park-like setting that provides backdrop for this South Pasadena architectural compound. It was initially developed from what had been the carriage house of the La Willinda estate—a 1914 design by architect Louis du Paget Millar for lumber merchant W. E. Cooper. The Irish born architect, who was also coincidentally cousin to radio inventor Marconi, was an important figure in early 20th century Pasadena architecture and his legacy is still evident today, most notably along the Arroyo, on California Blvd and Green Street.

The property was recently transformed and expanded by its artistic owners who added a walled addition to the original Millar structure creating a modern kitchen, dining, and living area. It was a careful renovation that drew a distinct line between the original 1914 building and the recent addition, gracefully bridging the gap from the last century to this one.

Large glass doors and windows wrap the high ceilinged and open plan addition that houses a gourmet kitchen with a luxurious mix of finishes and Thermador appliances is at its center. Walnut built-ins, European Oak plank flooring, Italian tile, and vintage mid-century lighting add to its distinctive character and an extensive and detailed updating of the home's systems was undertaken at this same time.

Additionally, a newly-built, detached two car garage and adjoining guest house with full bath + kitchenette establish total privacy from the street where, beyond the circular driveway and front gate, a 40 foot brick entry path is shaded by a pergola and the 90-year-old Wisteria that is woven through it. An updated, heated, and centrally positioned pool further bolsters the property's oasis-like feeling. The surrounding gardens are remarkably tranquil and lush; with meandering pathways, manicured landscaping, and mature Oak, Carob, Podocarpus, Japanese Maple, Olive and Grapefruit trees.

Inside the original carriage house is a large living and dining area with fireplace and wood paneling, while the new kitchen and den are off to the side. On this main level is a powder room, the primary bedroom and bath while upstairs has a large guest room, small nursery/office and luxurious bathroom.

This is a truly unique property, and a piece of history, in one of the most desirable enclaves of South Pasadena and could be yours for a hair over $3M.

As always click to emBIGGERate ...

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