Funny Papers

Kevin Necessary, Michael de Adder, Pedro X Molina, Jesse Duquette, Clay Bennett, Gary Huck, Max Espinoza, Trevor Irvin, Nick Anderson, Benjamin Slyngstad, Lalo Alcaraz, Rick McKee, Bill Bramhall, Michael de Adder,

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t realize that I’m quiet because not everyone gets to have access to the Premium Personality Package™.

… that I spent years seeking everyone’s approval and then I realized I don’t like everyone; problem solved.

… that people call me old-fashioned just because I don’t wanna buy a new toaster that I can sync with my phone.

… that the other day when someone called me evil, I just smiled. For a minute there I thought I was losing my spark.

… that most days half of me wants to cause a ruckus … and the other half does, too.

… that really good friends don’t ask why you need a concrete block and some heavy-duty rope, they just ask if the lake is deep enough.

… that when my boss asks if I’m ready to work, I always say “I’m prepared to give it my some.”

… that accordion to a recent survey 7 out of 10 people don’t realize when a word in a sentence is replaced with a musical instrument

… that people should never ask me what’s wrong, because I’ll start from 2006.

… that while everyone wants to work on Artificial Intelligence, I want something done about Natural stupidity.

I Didn't Say It ...

Joyce Beatty, Democrat Representative for Ohio, saying the quiet stuff out loud to Cankles’ face:

“I was at the Kennedy Center board meeting with [Cankles].He said, ‘I think you’re incompetent.’ I said, ‘I know you’re incompetent.’ He said he was going to hold me responsible if something fell out of the ceiling [at the Kennedy Center] and killed someone. I said, ‘You’re already killing people. We’re at war. And we have people here who are starving.’ He wanted to talk about how great he was at developing. I reminded him that he had more bankruptcies than anyone in the room.”

I’ve been saying that it’s the women who will take him on to his face and this is how it’s done.

Now, I wonder if the men could step up like this … Hakeem? Chuck? Anyone?

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James Talarico, Democrat for Senate from Texas, on Cankles’ childish attacks on him, like calling him “weird” and repeatedly mangling his name into “Talafreako”:

“I think a lot of people in our state voted for [him] the last election because they thought he was going to lower prices; [when] they thought he was going to end the forever wars. They thought he was going to release the Epstein files. They thought he was going to drain the swamp. That's why a lot of people in my family voted for President Trump. But just a year into this administration, prices are up because of these crazy tariffs. There's a new forever war in Iran. The Epstein files have not fully been released, and the swamp is bigger than it's ever been before. These nicknames don't lower the price of groceries. These nicknames don't lower the price of gas or utilities or health care. These nicknames don't actually improve any of our lives.”

Talarico's answer makes clear how he intends to respond: don't sink to the level of a childish, bloated gasbag racist and rapist. Bring the conversation back to what people were promised—and what they're paying for groceries, gas, utilities and health care now.

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Mazie Hirono, Democrat Senator from Hawaii, calling out Kash Patel for being a drunk:

“You have been so drunk that briefings have been rescheduled so you could sleep it off. When challenged by Senator Van Hollen several months ago to take an alcoholism test, you agreed. We are still waiting for you to post your results.”

Here’s another woman taking on the regime while most of the men sit back twiddling their thumbs.

Hirono is taking no prisoner, mincing no words, not playing around.

That’s how it’s done.

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Thomas Massie, GOP congressman from Kentucky, on the hypocrisy of his own party in order to protect a child rapist:

“The folks who want flock cameras in your neighborhood, the folks who wanna read your emails without a warrant, the folks who say, ‘If you’re not doing anything wrong, why do you wanna hide it?’ have withheld three million Epstein files and redacted the rest.”

He has zero fucks left to give and will keep standing up for the vbictims in the face of the regime.

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Lujan Grisham, Democrat Governor of New Mexico, on Cankles attempts to change the state’s name something else … New America:

“New Mexico’s name isn’t up for debate—it’s been ours since before the United States existed. What is up for debate? Who’s showing up for working families. While the President tries to distract Americans from his disastrous war in Iran, gas prices keep soaring [and] Americans are spending more at the grocery store, losing access to healthcare and wondering if they’ll ever be able to afford a home.”

People are hungry, can’t afford food or gas or healthcare but the president wants to rename a state for what?

Deflection from his disastrous presidency. Deflection for his dementia. Deflection for his crimes raping children.

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Whoopi Goldberg, actor, comic, cohost of 'The View,' on the idiocy of Cankles:

“I want all of this insanity to stop! I’m sick of this! You cannot have the Kennedy Center, man. It’s not yours. Fix the war. Forget the buildings. Fix the war. Fix the economy. Stop trying to move stuff out of museums. Stop it. Would you just pay attention to the American people?”

We are all screaming at the lunatic begging him to focus on the issues affecting us but all he cares about is golden doodles on the wall, and buildings with his name on them, reflecting pools and arches and keeping himself out of jail.

You want change? CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!!!

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Angie Nixon, Democratic Socialist nominee for Senate from Florida, responding to the racist abuse Laura Loomer has been hurling at her:

“I know Laura Loomer has been admitted to, you know, a hospital before because she’s spiraled and I feel like she’s spiraling right now. She doesn’t really have any support. And she needs help. But that’s why I’m fighting so hard for universal health care, because I believe no one should go bankrupt and no one should have to worry about being denied access to treatment simply because they don’t have the money. And so Laura Loomer is someone that I’m fighting for, to make sure that she has quality health care.”

This comes days after Loomer called Nixon a “ghetto, black, communist” and launched a racist tirade against prominent Black women that drew reproach from across the political spectrum. Nixon had already clapped back once but this time she managed to work one of her central campaign issues into a savage comeback in her ongoing contretemps with Loomer: universal health care means universal even when the prospective patient is the person attacking you.

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Bobservations

Sunday morning after breakfast Carlos stayed in the kitchen as I cleaned—he makes pancakes, I clean—and then announced:

“I should go change out of my cooking clothes.”

As if he dresses like Mrs. Patmore from ‘Downton Abby.’ But then he came back out dressed in a ratty t-shirt and ripped jean shorts to clean the litter boxes and I thought perhaps he does have a specific wardrobe for every chore.

How have I never noticed this before?

This Tuxedo Tale is from April 2011 and is entitled “Caturday: Leapin' Tuxedo!”

Tuxedo spots a speck of dust floating in a beam of sunlight ........

......and he's off......in a blur!

Kai Schreiber, daughter of actors Naomi Watts and Live Schreiber, has been named the Breakthrough Model of the Year award The Daily Front Row.

Kai is the first trans model to ever win that award.

The march goes on …

The Metropolitan Nashville Airport Authority Board of Commissioners voted unanimously to rename Nashville International Airport after legend Dolly Parton.

The news comes after Tennessee Governor Bill Lee said he wanted to rename airport in honor of the “9 to 5” singer, whom he called “our state’s favorite daughter,” in order to “greet travelers with the enduring legacy of Dolly’s music, generosity, faith, and kindness.”

Sounds perfect.

The other night I happened to flip through the TV channels and came up the Creative Arts Emmys so I watched for a moment. And Actress Shailene Woodley won an Emmy Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series for “Paradise.” That’s her up there on the left looking cute.

Two nights later at the “real” Emmys Shailene came out to present in that outfit on the right and I lost it. The hair pulled back is giving Almira Gulch vibes from the Wizard of Oz, but then the way, way, waaaaaay lowcut blouse is giving me hooker while the sequined pants are giving me Valley of the Dolls sleepwear and the gloves are giving me Dollar Store Dominatrix.

How could you go from so right to so wrong in a matter of days??

Speaking of fashion, iconic designer Bob Mackie died this week at age 87. He began working for film costume designer Edith Head straight out of school and then branched out on his own designer for everyone from Carol Burnett—that’s Carol in the “Went With The Wind Curtain dress from her TV show—to Cher and her Serious Actress look for the Oscars to Diana Ross’ sultry gown. He also designed for Mitzi Gaynor, Tina Turner, Ann Margaret and Elton John, among many others.

Fabulous talent.

RIP sir and thanks for the looks.

And now that we have seen Sweet Looks and Hideous Looks, Costume Looks and Revenge Looks and Glamour Looks, let’s look at Cakes and how wonderful they look when paired with a simple t-shirt.

Andrea Manzoni is an Italian model who works mostly out of Paris and Milan so if you traveled to either place Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Little Florence Farm

Despite its proximity to the wonderful amenities of Rye, within the High Weald National Landscape, Little Florence Farm sits in a peaceful rural setting. A quiet, unmade road forms the approach, with a driveway in front providing space to park several cars.

The home’s chestnut-clad silhouette is both traditional and contemporary: it references the surrounding farming traditions while having an abundance of glazing that hints at the brightness within the home.  

Entry is from the front, via two large grey metal doors beneath a canopy. This opens to the central hallway, where plenty of built-in storage provides space for shoes and coats; poured concrete runs underfoot, and walls are washed in a subtly textured lime wash.

At the rear is the long open-plan living space, an exquisite double-height room lit by a combination of garden-facing windows and skylights. The kitchen sits on one side, and has bespoke cabinets with handless doors, granite countertops, twin stainless-steel sinks and an island formed from a reclaimed science workbench. There is a utility room with space for a fridge and white goods.

The remainder of the room is versatile, with plenty of space for a large dining table. Off the dining area, concealed and revealed by large sliding doors is a capacious yet intimate sitting room oriented towards a log-burning stove. On the left-hand side of the ground floor is a wonderful study with views over the garden and plenty of built-in bookshelves.

Bespoke oak stairs ascend to the first floor, where there are three generous bedrooms, all with built-in wardrobes, skylights, and timber floorboards. The upstairs bathroom is also grounded with ample natural light and has a freestanding bath and walk-in shower.

Separate from the main home is a two-story studio, designed in the same style as the main home. There is a studio space on the ground floor with an adjoining kitchenette and utility room, and upstairs is a well-composed en suite bedroom. Outside a large deck offers access to a sauna, outdoor shower area and cold plunge; it’s the perfect spot for guests or for multigenerational living.

The garden that surrounds Little Florence Farm is a sensory, naturalistic space that provides visual interest throughout the year. Wildflowers grow in a dedicated area, and a kitchen garden has been created with raised beds for vegetables and herbs. An idyllic pond sits on one side and is framed by water irises. A substantial decked area runs along one side of the house and is a great space for dining outdoors in dry weather against a backdrop of farmland. In addition, overlooking the lawn, is an outdoor office space with bucolic views of the surrounding farmland.

And yours for £1.8 million.

As always click to emBIGGERate …

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