Saturday, September 21, 2019

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I like actress Laura Dern; I do. But does anyone other than actress Laura Dern really think she’s having a thing with Bradley Cooper because she’s the only one talking about it.

It seems that Dern and My-Husband-In-My-Head Bradley Cooper—not to be confused with My-Husband-In-My-Head Anderson Cooper—were spotted having lunch together in June and Dern comes out in late September to say there’s nothing to it, they’re just friends …blah blah blah.

No need to explain, Laura, we already guessed that.
On the heels of the Miley Cyrus-Liam Hemsworth breakup comes the news that Lindsay Lohan is somehow involved. I mean, only in her own utterly empty head, but still, she is talking about it.

As the lovebirds announced they were finished, Lohan took to Instagram to lament that none of the brothers Hemsworth ever vied for her attention.

Note to Lindsay: men don’t “vie” for your attention; they call your pimp, give over a credit card number, and then send a car for you.


PS I don’t think a Hemsworth would ever want to wade in the STD pond that is Lindsay Lohan.
I used to find actor Tom Hiddleston absolutely delicious, but then he hooked up with Taylor Swift and I suddenly realized he was an empty-headed famewhore.

But that’s just me; apparently one woman who paid to see Hiddleston in Broadway’s Betrayal, was so overcome with lust for Hiddleston that she up, well, as Erika Jayne once famously screeched, “patted the puss” right there in the theater.

Twice! And when the show was over this Diddling Donna ALLEGEDLY applauded like a wild woman causing one theatergoer to post about the show:
“The show was really wonderful and the cast first-rate. But you might want to avoid seat B-3.”
Note taken.
Wendy Williams, who has had one Hell of a year between denying about her husband cheating, admitting her husband was cheating, denying about her husband having a child with his mistress, admitting her husband had a child with his mistress, denying she was divorcing her husband, admitting she was divorcing her husband, denying she was having a substance abuse relapse, admitting she was living in a  sober house because she had a substance abuse relapse, is now pointing out other liars.

Pot.Kettle.Black. And while the chance that all this messiness would cause Williams to lose her show, it was renewed and she’s back, spilling the tea, stirring the pot and tossing the shade … at Christie Brinkley. Williams claims that Christie, who was set to appear on this season’s Dancing With The Has-Beens until she fell and “broke” her wrist in a fall, is faking the whole thing to get her daughter, Sailor Brinkley-Cook, a shot at some publicity:
“Well, that looked fake as hell … Let me tell you what I see. I don’t see a wrist and a shoulder being fractured. But that was real cute. Here’s my thought: Dancing with the Stars called Christie Brinkley … and she said yes. After she got off the phone, that’s when she plotted her schedule. … knowing that she’d put her daughter Sailor in there.”
Wendy? Hon? Why don’t you try telling the truth about yourself, before demanding the same of others? Plus, you know, you made Christie Brinkley cry and sob and weep … over Wendy Williams gossip.

Girl please. You both need to take a seat.
Back in 2017 Kevin Hart revealed to the world that he was a cheating dirtbag. Now, he didn’t reveal this truth because his conscience was bothering, but because his jump-off apparently had video of Little Kevin and Littler Kevin.

Now his mistress, Montia Sabbag, claimed at the time she had no involvement in the “film”—though a film of Montia doing the nasty with her neighbor wouldn’t sell as much as Montia doing Little Kevin—now she is claiming that Kevin himself is one of the orchestrators of this sex tape scandal.

And so, she’s suing him for $60 million.

And she may have a case because one of Hart’s best friends, one JT Jackson, was arrested for extortion and charged because of this hidden camera sex tape, and Montia thinks Kevin was in on it because he had a tour coming up and the idea of people seeing Montia and Kevin do the deed in grainy video footage would help ticket sales. Seriously.

Even if it still begs the question: who is Montia Sabbag and why would anyone want to watch her have sex with anyone … including Kevin Hart?
Remember when Jose Canseco claimed in his 2008 autobiography Vindicated that Madonna had ALLEGEDLY wanted him to be her sperm donor?

First off, Jose Canseco? Ick.

Well, now, another dreamboat from Madge’s past is saying he was be her Baby Daddy—in Sperm only—and he is none other than … Dennis Rodman. But while Jose seemed to be in it just because he could nail Madonna, Rodman says Madge offered up significant coins for his junk. Rodman is ALLEGING that Madonna called him up, out of the blue, announced she was ovulating, and said:
“Dennis, you know that I’m ovulating.”
And then he says she sent a private jet to pick him up in Las Vegas, and bring him back to her New York City manse where, before they did the deed, she said if she got pregnant, she’d pay him $20 million.

So, they banged, cleaned up, and he was back on the plane to Vegas. And we all know that Madonna didn’t get pregnant with Rodman’s baby, so he never got that 20 mil. But he does have that story to tell, and another one …

Rodman has also ALLEGED Madge made a similar deal with Carlos Leon—who fathered her daughter Lourdes—though he has no facts, just his flapping lips. But he has a book to sell, so …

Still, it begs the question, if you sleep with Rodman for $20,000,000, where are you gonna get the coins for your follow-up treatments.

STDs ain’t cheap, y’all.

Friday, September 20, 2019

I Didn't Say It ...

James Corden, host of The Late Late Show with James Corden, on Bill Maher’s suggestion last that fat-shaming “needs to make a comeback”:

“[I] found it so surprising that he, or anybody, thinks that fat shaming needs to make a comeback because fat shaming never went anywhere. We are reminded of it all the time. There’s a common and insulting misconception that fat people are stupid and lazy. We’re not. We get it, we know. We know that being overweight isn’t good for us. I’ve struggled my entire life trying to manage my weight. We’re not all as lucky as Bill Maher. We don’t all have a sense of superiority that burns 35,000 calories a day. Let’s be honest, fat-shaming is just bullying. It’s bullying, and bullying only makes the problem worse.”

Good on Corden for taking on Smug Maher.
Gareth Thomas, Welsh rugby star, has come out as HIV-positive after “evil” people threatened to go public with his condition without his consent:

“I want to share my secret with you. Why? Because it’s mine to tell you. Not the evils that make my life hell by threatening to tell you before I do. And because I believe in you and I trust you. I’m living with HIV. Now you have that information, that makes me extremely vulnerable, but it does not make me weak. Now even though I have been forced to tell you this, I choose to fight to educate and break the stigma around this subject. I’ve been living with this secret for years. I’ve felt shame and keeping such a big secret has taken its toll. I was in a dark place, feeling suicidal. I thought about driving off a cliff. To me, wanting to die was just a natural thought and felt like the easier way out, but you have to confront things. I was being blackmailed and in my mind,  I thought you only get blackmailed for something really bad, which compounded the feeling of shame. I went for a routine sexual health test at a private clinic in Cardiff. I didn’t feel ill and thought everything was going to be fine. When (the doctor) said those words… I immediately thought I was going to die. I felt like an express train was hitting me at 300mph. Then I was thinking ‘how long have I got left?’ I’m speaking out because I want to help others and make a difference. I hope me speaking out about my diagnosis will help a lot of people.”

In this day and age people are still trying to shame those with HIV.
Seriously, does anything ever change?
Pete Buttigieg, Presidential candidate, on the most serious professional setback he ever faced:

“You know, as a military officer serving under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and as an elected official in the state of Indiana when Mike Pence was governor, at a certain point, when it came to professional setbacks, I had to wonder whether just acknowledging who I was, was going to be the ultimate career ending professional setback. I came back from the deployment and realized that you only get to live one life and I was not interested in not knowing what it was like to be in love any longer. So, I just came out.”

When you finally realize that, because you’re closeted, you cannot live a fully open life, cannot be open about who you love or how you feel, that’s when people come out.
Even today, younger queerlings, and some older ones, remain closeted out of fear, but the more of us that are ‘out’ there the stronger we all become.
Rob James-Collier, Thomas Barrow, the valet in Downton Abby, on the film’s depiction of being gay in 1927:

“[Barrow’s storyline is] like a separate film so what a lovely thing, Thomas has got this little vignette off on the side. When all the pomp and circumstance with the royal visit is going on, you cut to Thomas’s story so I’m like ‘Thank you Julian (Fellowes, the writer) for trusting me that I can do this.’ You see Thomas discover a whole new world, and that is closer to who he is and there is a joy there, but then that joy may get taken away but it’s a very emotional, Thomas’s journey. It also hammers home what it was like to be a gay man in those times, it was horrific, and it’s brought back and it just shows how different it was. It must have been so hard for him and that is why the people warm to him and root for Thomas now, and they certainly will in the film if you watch it.”

Thankfully times have changed and, while this kind of vile anti-LGBTQ hatred still exists, it doesn’t happen as often as it did, and we cannot be jailed for being gay … in most places.
Seth Dunlap, WWL Radio host, who was called a “fag” by his station’s Twitter account last week after he expressed disappointment with drew Brees’ involvement with the anti-LGBTQ group Focus on the Family., on that incident:

“While I have suffered greatly, this attack was not just about me. While I may have been the one directly and publicly shamed with the use of an unacceptable slur disseminated on social media, the target was really the entire LGBTQ+ community. That community, my community, is subjected to that sort of vile language and hate on a daily basis. Look inside the comments, replies, or DM’s to any openly LGBTQ+ person and you’ll easily find similar disgusting, foul attacks. This incident just peeled back the curtain a bit for people to see the ugliness that surrounds us. I truly believe this targeted attack was, in part, the result of deteriorating civil discourse in our country. Powerful men and women have decided to make hate, bigotry, and divisiveness platforms for their advancement in public life. It’s apparent that far too many people have forgotten the ugly lessons of the past, and this growing divide threatens to shatter the very foundations of an equal and welcoming society.”

Nice to know that the company that employs you calls you a ‘fag’ on social media because you, rightly, believe that Drew Brees did an ad for an anti-LGBTQ hate group.
WWL Radio has not commented since it said it was beginning an investigation into the matter.
Huh; go figure.

Thursday, September 19, 2019


No funny Carlos stuff this week … but it’s been a week.

A coworker of mine passed away suddenly last Friday morning and I don’t know why, but it hit me very hard. Possibly because she was just fifty, and because she was such a fully alive sweet kind lovely laughing singing dancing funny friend that I still cannot grasp not seeing her every day. I do know that the last words I uttered to her as she left work last Thursday were …
“I love you, Miss Debra. See you next week.”
Carlos and I will be at her service today to say our goodbyes along with a great many other people who knew her and loved her.

Carlos also found out that with his disability he can still earn up to $2400 a month working part-time. I have suggested he get a job to earn just that much, or perhaps a smidge less, and then I will quit my job.

He was not amused.

And, lastly, he has an appointment with a surgeon here in town about his hernia. When his GP suggested he find a surgeon close to home, everyone we asked said the same name, and that’s who we’re going with. Lucky, living in a small town where everyone knows the best doctor.

My father got his ‘boot’ off and still doing physical therapy but is back to nearly all of his old routine. Next week he should be able to go back to his yoga classes and he’s already back volunteering at the Oregon Coast Aquarium.

Baby steps are working.

And that was a bit of the past week; sad, sweet, nice and good.
I’m loving this … the House Oversight Committee is investigating whether Transportation Secretary, AKA Missus Moscow Mitch, Elaine Chao acted improperly to benefit herself or her family’s shipping company.

Chao was asked to turn over documents related to the New York-based company, Foremost Group—owned by her father and sisters—which transports material to and from China. It seems Chao may have used her Cabinet position to benefit the company and increase its influence and status with the Chinese government.

So, do we have #ChinaChao and #MoscowMitch?
State prosecutors in Manhattan have subpoenaed _____’s accounting firm to demand eight years of his personal and corporate tax returns.

Ruh-roh. The subpoena was issued by the Manhattan district attorney’s office right after it opened a criminal investigation into the role that _____ and his mob family played in hush-money payments made in the run-up to the election. Both _____ and his company reimbursed Michael Cohen, _____’s former lawyer and fixer, for money Cohen paid to buy the silence of Stormy Daniels after her affair with _____.
This is an ISBL Public Service Announcement [/sarcasm font]
Dear Black People,
If you don’t want to be arrested could you please stop doing things like driving, ordering coffee, having a picnic, taking a nap, or trying to open a bank account.
Sincerely, White Racists
Anthony Onyegbula  wanted to open a new bank account, but instead found himself face-to-face with police after a bank worker called 911 because … wait for it … Onyegbula looked suspicious because he was wearing a hat. Oh, yeah, and he’s  black, too, so maybe it was just the blackness.

Onyegbula was outside the United Community Bank in Georgia, speaking to his wife about opening an account there while a teller inside called 911 and said:
“He went to the front door and he’s been on his phone, and, I, um, called from my phone to tell the employees to lock the front door.”
They locked the doors at 2:15 though they close at 4:30 because … black man … in a hat … on a phone … outside. The teller then told 911:
“He’s been on his phone out front. And we have no cars in the parking lot. He’s a walker. So, I feel like he’s up to no good.”
Onyegbula and his wife left to go to another bank and that's when they realized police had been called; officers came into that bank, asked the manager to clear the room, and then spoke to Onyegbula.

Black man. Hat, Bank. Phone.

The regional president for United Community Bank sent Johnson a statement, that reads:
“For privacy reasons, we do not comment publicly about the details of any customer or potential customer transactions. However, providing excellent customer service is our top priority and we are disappointed that we didn’t deliver that to Drs. Onyegbula and Tedga in this case. This afternoon we were able to speak directly with Drs. Onyegbula and Tedga to personally apologize for the misunderstanding. We are glad for the opportunity to connect and improve, and hope to have an opportunity to earn their business in the future."
Good luck with that, unless you supply a sheet to people of color on how to dress and act, and to stay off their phones, and drive a car to the bank, so they don’t look like robbers.
Josh Owens, the CEO of Indianapolis-based online retailer SupplyKick, announced his bid for governor of Indiana making him the state’s first openly gay major party candidate for that office:

Indiana; home to bigoted homophobe and … ALLEGEDLY closeted gay male, Michael Elizabeth Pence might have a gay governor.

Just sayin’.
On Monday night, former Trump White House Press Secretary Liar Sean Spicer made his debut on Dancing With People Who Are Not Stars.

After one judge said Spicer looked like he was being chased around the stage by wasps, he was given a score of 4. And because Sean Spicer is a bottom feeding loser with nothing else going on, he took to Twitter to remind everyone that Jesus wants you to vote for him:
“Clearly the judges aren’t going to be with me. Let’s send a message to #Hollywood that those of us who stand for #Christ won’t be discounted. May God bless you.”
Jesus gave him a one-fingered vote.
And now I need some refreshment, in the way of 30-year-old actor and model, Darius Williams.

He oozes sexuality, both in, and out of his clothes.

And he looks good wearing a hat!

I feel so much better already!

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Architecture Wednesday: Bucks County Barn

First off, if I’m not mistaken, I believe Bucks County is home to our dear Mistress Maddie, and I bet if we all beg and plead and offer our, um, services, perhaps The Mistress will buy this place and we can all go live there, or at least visit.

Whaddya say, Maddie?

Anyway, it’s a barn, in Upper Black Eddy, Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and you know I love a good barn. Especially one that keeps all the original timber framing of the interior and the original stone walls of the foundation.

Oh, and this is just the guest house; no telling what the main house looks like.
It’s big and it’s open and features two bedroom/bath suites with private entrances in the lower level, with rustic ceilings and stone walls.

But it’s the main floor, completely airy and open and with one wall of glass where I’d spend most of my time. Either there, or up in the loft area above, admiring the views outside and inside.

Um, MM? You got some spare coins to buy this place?

Brush & Nib Sued So They Cannot Get Sued ... What? Huh?

You want to know what the world is coming to? It’s this …

The owners of Brush & Nib Studio—a print shop in Phoenix—recently won a major LGBTQ discrimination case to keep them from having to print wedding invitations for same-sex couples.

Yes, in 2019, people are still suing to be allowed to discriminate, but that’s not what the world is coming to; it’s this …

Brush & Nib  Studio has never been accused of discriminating against anyone, and they have never printed invitations to a same-sex wedding. They sued preemptively for the right to refuse to print same-sex wedding invitations, should that situation arise.

In 2016, Brush & Nib sued the city Phoenix, arguing that the city’s ban on discrimination violated the company’s freedom of speech. Brush & Nib co-owners, bigots, homophobes, asshats, Joanna Duka and Breanna Koski, say they are “devout Christians” who wanted to overturn the civil rights law before any complaints could be filed against them.

Duka and Koski also want to post a sign in their window saying that they refuse to serve same-sex couples. I wonder how these two vile human beings would feel if they began seeing signs posted in businesses that said they refused to serve “devout Christians”?
And don’t get me started on any spot in the Bible that says hate is devout.

Brush & Nib’s operating principles were drawn up by the religious right legal group and says the business “is owned solely by Christian artists who operate this entity as an extension of and in accordance with their artistic and religious beliefs.”

It does not specify what their beliefs are. But I can guess: their beliefs are Hate; plain and simple. And that’s what the world is coming to; allowing people to sue so they don’t get sued for discrimination when they discriminate.

There you have it; and if you live anywhere near Brush & Nib, and opt to use their services, keep in mind that you are supporting hate masked as Freedom of Speech.

Monday, September 16, 2019

I Should Be Laughing: Harry and Renny

While the trees closed in on her, Renny smiled; a dead body! That was quite an adventure. The story had even made the local news, and one of the San Francisco papers sent someone up to interview Renny and Harry, and to take pictures of them in the tall, wavy grass of the Forever Fields. Renny remembered how excited she had been; telling the reporter the man had died because it took so long to cross the meadow. Turned out, though, it was merely a coronary; a hobo with a bad heart. That was back in the when, in the days before you called them homeless. They were bums and hoboes who roamed the highways and rode the rails, having adventures, living outdoors, and falling down dead of a heart attack in a grassy grassland by the sea; not as thrilling as Renny’s tomboy imagination.

Still, Renny and her brother had quite a time together. He would come into her room after school and listen to her records while she looked at his sketches; she even hung one of his drawings on her wall. Harry fixed her bike whenever the tire went flat, and she let him tag along when she went to Fort Bragg with her girlfriends.

Most importantly, however, he helped Renny with Mother. Harry was a kind of demilitarized zone between mother and daughter.  Many was the time Mother had come to the foot of the stairs and shrieked at Renny to turn down the music, and Harry would poke his head through the door, saying quietly, “Sorry, Mother.” If Renny had to stay home until she finished the laundry, Harry would do it for her. When Renny and Barbara would argue, Harry would plead with them to stop; he would do whatever he could to keep the peace.

Renny never thanked him for those times.

Then there was the night he helped her after ‘The Party.’ The one she had thrown when Mother and Daddy stayed at the hospital in Eureka when Jimmy had that bad flu. It was supposed be a few friends, but then some sophomores came by; seniors, too. A group of kids in Ukiah heard about the party and drove across the mountains to the Seaton place. She wanted the party to be a quiet one, friends only, but there were strangers all over the house; every light was on, from kitchen to attic, and radios blared on both porches. The television in Mother’s parlor was on to a Giant-Dodger game and a keg of beer, in a trash can full of ice, had been dragged into the room and set right on top of the rug.

People were drinking Hamms out of Grandmother’s antique crystal; every clink was shattering Renny’s nerves. Some of the kids were smoking pot in the bathrooms, or dancing on the stairs; one couple was making out on Jimmy’s bed. A few guys from the basketball team were having a pissing contest out of a second floor window, and someone had thrown up on the back of the couch and tried to cover it up with a lace doily.

Through it all Harry stayed in his room, behind the locked door. He warned Renny not to have the party. “Mother will find out, Ren. She always does.” But she only smirked at him, an older sister look that said he would never understand, and called him a baby. So Harry remained in his room until well after her friends left for the Denny’s in Fort Bragg, leaving Renny alone to clean up.

It was while she was in the front parlor, scrubbing vomit from the sofa, holding her nose and trying not to gag, that she first heard him in the kitchen. Water was running in the sink and she listened to the glasses banging together delicately as he washed them, dried them, and put them away. Silently he helped her carry the keg outside, far from the house, and dump the ice over the cliffs. He ran the vacuum while she dusted, picked up beer cans and bottles as she put the records away. He wiped fingerprints off the tables; she washed the sheets and made Jimmy’s bed.

It took them most of the night to put the house back in order and Harry never said a word. Not one ‘I told you so’; no awkward glances; only silence as he cleaned and mopped and scrubbed right alongside her. Mother had never found out about the party, though she did comment on how clean Harry and Renny kept the house. Then she poured herself a glass of bourbon to recover from the long trip and disappeared into her bathroom.

Renny never thanked him for that time either.

Once, when Renny was a mascot for the basketball team, she conned Harry into donning the costume for one of the home games. Renny and her friend Patty were Clyde and Claudia—the Albion High Cougars—but Patty was going to San Francisco with her boyfriend and Renny was stranded without a partner. None of her friends wanted to be Clyde—the uniform was heavy, hairy and itchy—so Renny convinced Harry to do it. He was only ten or so, but tall enough to wear the cougar suit. He wasn’t the greatest Clyde. At first he hardly moved, but by the time the second half came around Harry was running back and forth in front of the stands, doing cartwheels across the parquet floor.

It seemed there was nothing Harry wouldn’t do for his sister. So many escapades they had shared; the things he had done for her. Then she ran off and left him without so much as a goodbye. She and Harry had been so close, but Renny ended their adventure.