Repost: This Is Me: The Time My Grandfather Murdered My Grandmother's Lover

Well, this is my first Monday after the election and with no political stories to tell I realized I had nothing for today, so here comes a repost from December 2013:

I have odd memories of my maternal grandmother, Faye; she seemed a difficult woman, very prim and proper, very concerned about appearances and what people thought.

I remember one time, when my sister was chatting with a friend on the phone, my Grandmother—she was Grandmother, never Grandma—heard my sister say that she was P.O.ed [pissed off] about something, and my Grandmother took the phone away from her, hung it up, and said we did not speak like that.

Another time when she was visiting, I was walking past her and placed my hand on her shoulder to let her know I was there and she shrieked about her shoulder surgery and how she was still in pain. I was mortified thinking I’d hurt her, but then my mother told me that Grandmother had had surgery about ten years before I was born.

I remember riding in a car with my Grandmother and Granddaddy, and I remarked about what a nice car it was; she said, “It should be nice, it cost more than your parent’s first house.”

That’s my Grandmother. Granddaddy was Ben, my grandmother’s second husband. I’d always assumed my mother’s father had died before I was born, until the day I returned home from school and found my maternal grandfather, Roy, sitting in the kitchen with my mother. He visited for a few hours and then he was off; I never saw him again.

But I did hear a remarkable story from my mother about why I’d never seen him ... it was because he murdered a man in Texas in the 1940s.

He’d murdered my Grandmother’s lover.

My grandparents, Roy and Faye, lived across the alley from the Cunningham’s. The Cunningham’s didn’t have a phone of their own and would occasionally come across the alley to use my grandparent’s phone. Then, Mr. Cunningham would come by at other times, alone, when my grandfather was at work, to “use the phone” himself.

My grandmother, at the trial, told of her first date with Mr. Cunningham, a bus driver, and how they’d gone to the movies and he’d “warmed up” to her.  He then began coming by the house, to “use the phone” and would often enter through the back door and stay nearly an hour. My grandmother, at the trail, said it was those times that Cunningham had attempted to “make love” to her; he often came over after that, usually when my grandfather had left the house, and he’d have dinner with my grandmother; he always called on my grandmother when his own wife was away from home.

Apparently, on their third “date” my grandmother told Cunningham not to come back.  But he did; he came in through the back door, without knocking, and my grandmother went to the front door and locked it but left the back door ajar; my mother and her sister were asleep down the hall.

My grandmother, at the trial:

“Clyde [Cunningham], came in, picked up a pillow off the bed, and tossed the pillow on the divan. ... Clyde sat down on the divan. I was standing on the floor near it. He pulled me down beside him. As he had the other times, Clyde wanted to make love to me—he hugged and kissed, and fondled me. Then he pushed me over the pillow.

“At that moment my husband appeared on the front porch. He pulled at the screen [door] it was locked. I opened it for him and he came in. Clyde was standing up. He said to Roy, ‘Well, you caught me courting your wife, didn’t you? '

“Roy made some short reply and went into the kitchen. Clyde said he would “’try to bluff Roy’.’ My husband then came back into the living room and went into the bedroom. He came back from the bedroom with a gun in his hand. He raised it to shoot Clyde. I knocked Roy’s hand down, the bullet went into the floor. Clyde ran out the back door and across the yard to his own home. Roy ran to the back door and shot at him. Then he came back and I told him what happened—and all along—ever since I met Clyde.”

My grandmother then left the house and took a bus to Midland, Texas.

My grandfather’s story is like this: he returned from work to see his two daughters—my mother and my aunt—who were both recovering from whooping cough. As he approached the front door he saw Cunningham and my grandmother “prone upon the divan.” He came inside and got his gun to “run Cunningham out.”

After Cunningham left he asked my grandmother how long this had been going on; she told him about three months; he says that she said nothing else and he told her to “get out.”

My grandfather spent the rest of the day wandering around Vernon; in the early evening he entered the bus station—where Cunningham worked—and found my grandmother waiting for a bus.  My grandfather then returned home, got his gun, and began driving around town; always returning to the bus station. At 5:30 the next morning, with his gun, “to protect myself in case Cunningham jumped on me.”  He sat down and waited, until he saw Cunningham enter the building and head to the ticket counter:

“I walked up to his left side, up close, and said, ‘Clyde.’  He turned around and struck at me with a ticker puncher or some metal instrument. He continued to try and hit me and I thought he was trying to kill me. He kept pushing me back and I got the gun out by my left hand some way and began shooting."

He shot Clyde Cunningham five times and then he drove to the police station and turned himself in.

The police questioned all parties, and one officer believed my grandmother’s tale about how she didn’t want Cunningham to make love to her, not once, over the course of that three months, and he told my grandfather to take her back. My grandfather refused; there was a trial, and he was found guilty but was never sent to prison.

He and my grandmother divorced and he enlisted in the military as the war was starting; he returned home after the war with a Japanese bride and they were still married when I met him. He died in 1985, at the age of seventy-three.

He outlived my grandmother by ten years.

Sidenote: as much as my grandmother was a dichotomy—prim and proper, and caring deeply about what people thought of her, to some, an adulterer to others—she married a second time, to Ben; they were married for over thrifty years until she passed away.

A year to the day later, my Granddaddy got into their car and died; no medical cause, no heart attack; he just died. Even the doctor said it looked like he’d died of a broken heart since my grandmother was gone.

On the seat next to him, in the car, was my grandmother’s favorite purse; he took it with him whenever he drove because it felt like she was there.

That’s the story of my grandmother and my grandfather.

Family, ain’t it something?

The Funny Papers

Daniel Boris, RJ Matson, Lalo Alcaraz, Trevor Irvin, Clay Bennett, Bill Bramhall, Adam Zyglis, Nick Anderson, Steve Sack, Michael de Adder, Dennis Goris, Pedro X Molina, Gary Huck,

Why Is It ...

… that I don’t need a guardian angel? What I need is an adultier adult following me around whispering “Don’t click that” and “You don’t need another snack” and “Don’t say that out loud” and “Fuck it, just take the nap.”

… that you never hear a crackhead say, “I can’t get high today because I’m broke”? Because they make it happen. Don’t let a crackhead try harder than you.

… that when someone asked why I was so obsessed with Disneyland and added that “It’s for kids” I replied, “Bibbety bobbity boo back the fuck up.”

… that I still don’t get the group chat. I’m an adult, I only have two friends and they don’t know each other.

… that you need to remember that when someone pisses you off it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap them in the face. That’s anger management and fitness working together.

… that I was Today Years Old when I learned I am too old to sit in a beanbag chair and too old to get out of a beanbag chair.

… that when I finish talking to co-workers I always add, “I’m billing you for this conversation.”

… that I told him I couldn’t see him anymore because I couldn’t let him hurt me like this and he said, “I’m your trainer. It was one sit up. You did one sit up.”

… that I’ve only just realized that I am an adult just like a tomato is a fruit; technically, yes, but not really.

… that I don’t shop at Walmart? Perhaps it’s because they think I wanna put up my Christmas tree and eat my Thanksgiving turkey in my Halloween costume.

I Didn't Say It ...

Patrick Stewart, actor, LGBTQ+ icon, hero who passed away last week, on his support for our community:

“There was never a moment when I made an intellectual choice that I would be a supporter of gay civil rights. It was always a natural and uncomplicated choice. Then later in life, as I got to know well-known [LGBTQ+] activists like Ian McKellen, I was only too happy to join campaigns, march and support in whatever way I could because it always seemed to me to be something that much too much fuss was being made about.”

Marching for, speaking out for, standing up for, equality should never be a choice.

It should just be, so thank you Sir Patrick for all that you’ve done for our community.

RIP

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Ian McKellen, actor, paying tribute to his friend, actor Patrick Stewart, who passed away last week at age 86:

“Before everything else, Patrick was defined by being born and bred in Yorkshire, the proud county in the north of England which he loved to the end. You could hear it in his accented voice and in the stern honesty with which he told you what he thought and felt. Yorkshiremen have no truck with half-truths or avoidance of big issues. He wore his heart on his sleeve, which made him a man to rely on, to admire and in my case, love. My first strong memory was … meeting him in the street in central London when he told me about an offer to take over a leading part in ‘Star Trek.' He took the risk and thank goodness for us all that he did for not just his devoted Trekkies but film and theatre audiences, who marveled at his using international celebrity to star in a string of cinema successes (‘X-Men’ of course) and in great classical plays by Shakespeare, Ibsen, Arthur Miller, Peter Shaffer, Pinter and Beckett at Stratford-upon-Avon, in London’s West End and on Broadway. America was his adopted home, where he met his adored [wife] Sunny who has cared for him through sickness and health, through thick and thin."

Stewart lived a full life of good loves, good friends, good roles, good stories.

McKellen and Stewart made the best of friends.

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Abdul El-Sayed, Democrat Senator-elect from Michigan, billionaires and tax breaks:

“I remember an interaction with Jesse Watters about billionaires [and] he’s like, ‘Well, they work hard for the money.’ I’m like, ‘Do they?’ Once you have a billion dollars, you’re not working hard for anything. You billions make more billions. That’s the problem with the system. I would rather a system where we’re not helping a billionaire make a second billion, but instead [we are] helping a kid get a good education at a good school so maybe they can make their first million some day.”

Why not just have people pay their fair share of taxes; the billionaires won’t suddenly become poor, they’ll just have a fewer billion dollars until their money makes more money.

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Robert Reich, lawyer, and political commentator, on Leon Skum’s big Texas smack down:

“The richest man in the world spent more money that most people will see in a lifetime, only to lose a Senate race and a Governor’s race in Texas by double digits. This is a reminder that we must overturn Citizen’s United. But it’s also a reminder that organized people can still defeat organized money.”

It also shows how many people despise Leon Skum and his ilk and do whatever it takes to shut them down.

It also shows that We The People have the power.

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Danny Pintauro, out actor and film producer, on his decision to come out rather than be outed:

“For the last six months, I’ve been searching through storage for the original 1997 National Enquirer article about me coming out. And today, there it was. I was 21 years old, and the Enquirer had made it clear they were going to run a story about my sexuality whether I participated or not. So I made the decision to speak for myself. Seeing the actual article again almost 30 years later is surreal. And here’s something I had forgotten: all things considered, it’s actually pretty heartfelt. Yes, the headline is enormous and very 1997. But the story talks about the support I received from my family, Tony Danza and Judith Light, and even includes a message about courage and coming out from Chaz Bono. It’s wild to think how short the list of openly gay public figures still was in 1997, and how many people would come out publicly in the years that followed. That doesn’t change how complicated it was to have something so personal become national news before I was ready for it to happen on my own terms. But reading it now, I can also see a 21-year-old me trying to take control of a situation I hadn’t chosen and say, “If this story is going to be told, I want my voice in it.” And I’m kind of proud of him for that. And a little thank you to [Chaz Bono] too. Seeing those words of support sitting beside my story nearly 30 years later means more to me now than I probably understood at the time. Almost 30 years later, I finally have the actual piece of history back in my hands. Still gay. Still here. And very grateful that today, I get to decide how my story is told.”

Strong young man to take on that choice for himself at 21, and at a time when celebrities were not coming out.

And he’s still telling his story.

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Bobservations in Blue

Y’all, we did it! We CAST OUR GODDAMNED VOTE and changed the outlook for this country. Keep that feeling and remember it every election cycle, we can force change when We The People band together and do the right thing like voting for Renee Good and Alex Pretti, for accountability and decency, for healthcare, for immigrants, for the environment , for the future of our kid's, for Democracy, for LGBTQ+ Americans and Americans of color,  and for kindness and hope.… and here are some of those changes:

Democrat Allison Montgomery becomes the first transgender woman ever elected to the Alabama legislature.

Democrat Nancy Lacore, who was fired by DUI hire Pete Hegseth, has won her Congressional seat in Congress and may just be a vote in impeaching Hegseth.

Democrat Troy Jackson ended Susan Collins'—that very Concerned Woman—30-year Senate career.

Democrat  Xavier Becerra won the governorship over a billionaire whose sole interest was billionaires.

Democrat Deb Haaland has won New Mexico’s governor’s race, becoming the first Native American woman elected governor of a U.S. state.

Democrat Keisha Lance Bottoms won the governor’s race in Georgia as the first Black woman elected to that office.

Democrat Gina Hinojosa won the goi9vernor’s race in Texas and is the first Latina governor of that state.

Democrat Abdul El-Sayed won the race for Senator from Michigan.

Democrat Aaron Ford flipped the governorship from Red to Blue in Nevada.

Democrat Amy Acton is the first woman governor of Ohio.

Democrat Bentley Hudgins is Georgia’s first openly trans and non-binary state legislator.

Democrat Dina Nina Martinez-Rutherford is Wisconsin’s first openly trans state lawmaker.

Democrat Annie Andrews won the race for Senator from South Carolina for the first time in 38 years. The joke is that Darline Graham gave up her race to honor her brother Miss Lindsey by finishing on the bottom.

Democrat Congresswoman Sarah McBride won reelection to the Delaware Senate as an openly trans woman.

Democrat Cynthia O Ford won election to SC House District 57.

Democrat Chris Pappas made history as the first openly gay man elected to the U.S. Senate where he will represent New Hampshire.

Democrat JD Ford becomes the first openly gay person elected to Congress from Indiana.

Democrat Becca Balint becomes the first woman and first openly LGBTQ+ member of Congress from Vermont when she wins he third term.

Democrat Emily Randall is the first openly LGBTQ+ Latina elected to Congress representing Washington.

Democrat Leigh Finke becomes Minnesota’s first openly trans state legislator winning reelection to her third term.

Democrat Zooey Zephyr Montana’s first openly trans state legislator won reelection for another term

Democrat Jeremy Moss makes History as Michigan’s first openly LGBTQ+ member of Congress.

Democrat, and LGBTQ+ Marine Veteran JoAnna Mendoza won election to the Arizona Congress.

Democrat DeShanna Neal, Delaware’s first nonbinary expected official, won reelection.

Democrat Maura Healy, America’s first openly elected lesbian, won her second term as governor of Massachusetts.

Democrat Robert Garcia, the first openly LGBTQ+ immigrant elected to Congress from California, won his third term.

Democrat Malcolm Kenyatta, Pennsylvania’s first openly gay Black state legislator, won his fifth term to office.

Democrat Ann Johnson, an openly lesbian Texas lawmaker, has won a fourth term in office.

Democrat Takano, the first openly gay person of color elected to California’s Congress, won his eight term.

Democrat, one of the first Native American women elected to Congress and Kansas’ first openly LGBTQ+ representative, wo/n her fifth term.

Lastly … Leon Skum pissed away nearly half a billion dollars in Texas GOP races and won exactly nothing … except maybe a rigorous Congressional investigation to his DOGE crimes.

And for the first time since we moved here nearly 19 years ago, the color of South Carolina’s state flag feels appropriate.

Architecture Wednesday: The Killian House

The Killian House, a meticulously restored 1923 Spanish Revival home that perfectly captures a sense of romance and classic Hollywood glamour—legend has it that silent screen star Rudolph Valentino commissioned the home for his mistress, stage and film actress Pola Negri—is set high above the street in the historic enclave of Whitley Heights.

Surrounded by verdant gardens and enchanting pathways, the storied property has been thoughtfully updated by its current owners who were inspired by Scandinavian and Japanese design while the original hardwood floors, detailed ironwork, casement windows, and Batchelder tilework have been carefully restored throughout striking the perfect balance between modern living and 1920's Spanish architecture.

As you enter this two-story, two-bedroom, two bath main residence a spacious living room awaits you, graced with arched windows, a wood-burning fireplace, and French doors that open to the lush outdoor space. The gourmet chef's kitchen is ideal for hosting, featuring custom walnut cabinetry, black quartz countertops, Wolf appliances, and a Sub-Zero refrigerator.

The primary bedroom, with a 2nd wood-burning fireplace, offers a calm retreat with a spa-like ensuite bathroom, custom cabinetry, and a large picture window that frames the surrounding greenery. The main floor also includes a dining room overlooking treetops, a second bedroom with garden access, and a full guest bathroom. Upstairs, the office-viewing tower opens to an adjoining deck, both offering views of the surrounding hills and Hollywood Sign.

The expertly landscaped yard is anchored by a pergola-dining area with a handcrafted Moroccan-tile floor and an expansive deck overlooking the hills of Whitley Heights, accessed via a series of boardwalks and thick basalt steppingstones. The park-like gardens showcase original plantings, such as aloe and cedar trees, nestled among region-appropriate greenery, verdant tree ferns, citrus, cypress, and philodendron.

A brick path and stairs with original wrought iron wind elegantly down to the original one bed, one bath casita which features a living room with a wood-burning fireplace, dining area, and kitchen—with access to two private courtyards. There is a two-car garage with two off-street parking spaces as well, along with a front security gate, and alarm system with cameras.

With its masterful blend of original details and modern design updates, the Killian House is a uniquely alluring Hollywood Hills retreat worthy of a standing ovation.

Modern California House