Ain't That America XLIII

Here we are with the 43rd edition of Ain’t That America. I never thought it would last this long, but I do feel an end in sight … an end to wars for profit from the “Peace” President … an end to the grift  … to the gold-leafing of America … and end to the goose-stepping GOP … a rise in voting … a rise in Democrats stepping up and speaking up and doing the work of We The People … so let’s go:

Senate Republicans are seeking reassurances from the Regime on guardrails for Cankles $1.8 billion Reparations For Traitors fund to compensate people who attacked the Capitol because they were butt-hurt Cankles lost, was a loser, did not win, failed etc.

Playacting Attorney General, and Cankles’ Bitch, Todd Blanche met with Senate Republicans and it turned into a shriek-fest refused demands that the most violent Capitol rioters be barred from getting payouts.

Yes, he refused demands to pay off the most violent rioters.

 

As a presidential candidate, Cankles painted his opponents as trigger-happy interventionists who would get the US bogged down in forever wars, up to and including World War III.

And since we know every Cankles Accusation Is An Admission™ Cankles has racked up a list of countries he’s both threatened to attack and actually attacked and this week added Oman to the list because he doesn’t know where it is or what to call the people of Oman—seriously he threatened Oman if it tries to control the Strait of Hormuz along with Iran.

Oman is at least the 15th country that he has either threatened to attack, left open the possibility of attacking, or actually attacked during his two terms as Draft-Dodging-Warmonger-In-Chief.

 

Not for the first time, clearly suffering from dementia or being the dumbest human in the world, Cankles once again confused Iran with Venezuela again:

“I don’t go into war, I go into conflict… Despite the conflict with Venezuela who no longer has a navy, no longer has an air force, no longer has a lot of people that were leading the country into very bad places. Their leadership is gone. Their second is gone. We’re dealing with half of their third as half of their third is gone too.”

Demented and stupid.

Vice President JD CouchFucker Vance was mocked by, well, nearly everyone in the world, when he said during a speech on the economy:

“If you want to rebuild the American Dream for the next generation, vote against the crazy leadership in Washington, D.C.”

Finally the truth from someone in the regime.

 

The day the “Freedom 250” concert series was announced, rapper Young MC announced he was backing out of the government-sponsored partisan festival taking place on the National Lawn in Washington, D.C.. His exit followed Morris Day‘s statement that he and the Time didn’t have the, um, er, time to perform either.

Meanwhile, C+C Music Factory frontman Freedom Williams posted a profanity-laced message in saying they would also back out of the show after learning about Cankles Trump involvement but then he backtracked and said C+C Music Factory might go ahead with the gig after all, to show he was impervious to the backlash and because no one knows who C+C Music Factory is and they need the coins.

Last week Bret Michaels and Martina McBride withdrew from the line-up leaving just C+C Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli’s Fab Morvan,  Flo Rida and Kid Rock.

Sounds like a Who’s Who of Who’s That?

PS You cannot make this shiz up, but after so many people backed out of The Cankles Shit Show™ Cankles himself has announced he will headline the event.

 

Cankles is once again bragging about the latest rounds of tests he’s undergone at Walter Reed Military Medical Center:

“Unlike other U.S. Presidents, none of whom have ever taken an approved, high difficulty, Cognitive Test, I scored a perfect 30 out of 30, considered ‘extreme intelligence’ … In fact, this is my fourth such test, all PERFECT or, 120 correct answers out of 120 questions asked! It is very rare that anyone gets a Perfect Score, especially when achieved four times in a row.”

It’s also rare that anyone needs to take four cognitive tests in one year unless there’s something wrong … like they’re a demented fuckwit, perhaps?

Utah GOP Senator and Certified Lunatic™ Mike Lee left critics dumbfounded after posting on X that James Talarico, the Democratic nominee for Senate from Texas, would engage in religious child sacrifice:

“James Talarico will put you first… On the altar to Moloch.”

A reference to the ancient figure of Moloch mentioned in the Hebrew Bible and associated with child sacrifice.

Seriously.

 

South Carolina Senator and the reigning Miss Corn Hole, Lindsey Graham, one of the biggest war hawks in Congress, stopped by Fox News’ Hannity to discuss Cankles’ vow that any agreement to end the war should include a requirement for Middle Eastern countries—including Saudi Arabia and Qatar—to join the Abraham Accords, a treaty Cankles helped broker during his first term to normalize relations between Arab countries and Israel:

“If he can pull this off, if he can get Saudi Arabia—the center of Islam for the entire world—to recognize the Jewish state of Israel, he will have ended the Arab-Israeli conflict that’s been going on for thousands of years. They should change the Nobel Prize to the [Cankles] Prize.”

I believe he went on to also say they should redesign the Peace Prize to look like Cankles’ anus so Miss Lindsey could come by the White House and kiss it every day.

 

In an April 11 Truth Social post, Cankles wrote:

“The United States has completely destroyed Iran’s Military, including their entire Navy and Air Force, and everything else. Their Leadership is DEAD!”

This week he claimed:

“Their Navy is totally gone ... Their Air Force is totally gone ... Their military, we’ve sort of left it alone—because we think that their military is somewhat moderate. They have other people that aren’t moderate. We’ve taken them out. We’ve taking different forms of leadership out. We’ve actually left their military alone. People would be surprised to hear that. Because mistakes have been made in wars where you wipe out everybody and then you have a country that for 40 years can never rebuild.”

Again, the dementia is real.

James Talarico, the Democratic nominee for US Senate in Texas, raised more than $3 million in the first 24 hours after Texas AG and Criminal Ken Paxton emerged as his Republican opponent:

“Texans are uniting behind our campaign to defeat (Paxton) and the broken, corrupt political system he embodies.”

Good work Texas, now get out there and Vote Blue.

 

Gavin Newsom vowed to tax any payouts that California residents receive from that $1.8 billion Reparations For Traitors fund that Cankles created:

“Anyone from California that receives any of those funds, we want to tax 100% of those proceeds.”

Newsom’s pledge mirrors legislation unveiled in New York by Democrat Alex Bores, state assembly member and House candidate, that would also assess a 100% tax against payouts from the fund.

 

Last week US District Judge Christopher Cooper ordered that Cankles name be scraped off the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and granted Democrat Representative Joyce Beatty’s request for a preliminary injunction to block Cankles from closing the institution.

The judge ordered Kennedy Center officials to scrape off Cankles’ name within two weeks.

Former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is leading in new polling on a hypothetical Democratic presidential primary. A new Emerson College Polling survey puts Buttigieg at the top of the pack with 18% followed by California Governor Gavin Newsom at 165; AOC has 11% support, while Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and former Vice President Kamala Harris are at 10% each.

 Sure it’s early but it’s already an impressive field compared to alleged GOP choices JD "CouchFucker" Vance and Marco "Where Am I" Rubio.

The No Kings Movement has announced a nationwide event for June 14 directly counter-programming Cankles Dementia celebrations and a Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) bout on the south lawn of the newly named White Trash House.

The centerpiece is a 90-minute concert at New York’s Town Hall featuring entertainer Bette Midler, songwriter Patti Smith, actor Jane Fonda, musician Rufus Wainwright and commentator Joy Reid – streaming free nationwide, while local groups host watch parties across the country.

The event is co-presented by the Committee for the First Amendment, a coalition of artists and cultural figures, and frames the US’s 250th anniversary as a moment of democratic reckoning. 

Get out and march and resist and cast a goddamned vote.

The Funny Papers

Ed Wexler, Chris Britt, Jonathan Brown, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Jon Ostrove, David Horsey, Mike Luckovich, Dennis Goris, Dave Whamond, Tim Campbell,  Benjamin Slyngstad, Gary Huck, Clay Bennett

Why Is It ...

… that there is a special class of people who turn every crappy situation into a master class in stupidity and they are known as Dipshitiots.

… that there are some people who have pissed me off from the moment we met that I wanted to buy them a toaster … for their bathtub.

… that whenever someone says to me, “What do you mean by that,” I generally reply, “Probably what the fuck I just said.”

… that people don’t understand that I am not rude, I am selectively nice, and you were not selected.

… that when people piss me off I tell them to F.O.C.US … Fuck Off Cuz You’re Stupid.

… that not even my friends understand that I would be the first person killed in a horror movie cuz I refuse to use my last minutes running.

… that when I suggested to my boss that we should be allowed to fight one client a day, and perhaps two on Fridays, he was not happy.

… that getting old is so hard; one wrong pillow alignment and my neck is filing for disability.

… that no one understands that my Serenity Prayer is, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change direction when I see them coming, and the wisdom to not smack some sense into them when I can’t avoid them.”

… that I’ve only just realized that if you’re going to talk to me for more than two minutes, I’m gonna need something to lean on.

I Didn't Say It ...

Colton Underwood, former reality show “star,” taking on Zack Boughton, who commented on a social media post with Colton and he and his husband’s young son, Bishop:

“Hey Zach—genuinely curious what you meant by this. Because if you ‘feel bad’ for Bishop, I’d love to understand why. He’s loved, supported, celebrated, Happy and surrounded by people who show up for him every single day. What a child actually needs protection from isn’t a loving family. It’s ‘adults’ who use vague, loaded comments to express disapproval they don’t have the courage to say out loud. Words like yours, ambiguous enough to deny, pointed enough to wound, are exactly how kids learn that who they are is something to be ashamed of. That’s the thing worth feeling bad about. Bishop is great. We’re great. But thank you for the reminder that this work still matters.”

This is why we stand up to the hate and the haters and bigots and homophobes and transphobes and their ridiculous comments. Call them out, shine a light on them.

Make them explain their hatred for a young child they don’t know and will probably never know.

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Thomas Massie, who just lost his race in the GOP primary to retain his seat,  directly implicated Melanie in the Epstein scandal:

“Todd Blanche at the top and with the FBI director Kash Patel [have] effectively both perjured themselves by saying that there’s nobody else in the files. Even [Melanie] doesn’t believe that. The first lady knows that Jeffrey Epstein didn’t act alone.”

Snap. But then that utterly explains her random press conference a while back to suggest she was innocent.

Slovenian hooker.

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Natalie Maines, The Chicks singer, taking on Cankles like she took on Bush years back:

“Our democracy is disappearing right before our eyes. This fugly slut is using your gas money to pay the insurrectionists. But don’t worry about it. I’m sure posting selfies will fix everything. My last post that called him a fugly slut got removed. We’ll see how long this one lasts. Repost and help the message live.”

This is what zero fucks looks and sounds like; we all need to be there.

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James Talarico, the Democrat candidate for Senate in Texas, responding to a dig by criminal Texas Attorney General, and GOP candidate for Senate, Ken Paxton that Talarico is :::gasp::: a vegan:’

Bottom of Form

“I’m an eighth-generation Texan [and] I’ve been eating barbecue since before Ken Paxton’s first indictment. If all they have on me is lying about me being a vegan, I feel pretty good about our chances this November.”

Seriously? He’s a vegan is your attack? Take a seat, Ken, I think you wife’s divorce lawyer needs to speak to you about all those affairs.

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Bobservations

A text exchange between Carlos and me yesterday …

Me: I’m leaving work. I’ll drop your book at the Post Office on my way home.

Carlos: Thank you.

Me: 💗💗💗

Carlos: How come you love me so much?

Me: I have no idea.

Carlos: Especially since I am a horrible person. [Of note: a dear old old old old old friend of his called him a horrible person because of some family situation going on]

Me: True dat.

Carlos: What? You think I’m horrible—

Me: Who is this? :::crackle::: crackle::: I can’t :::crackle::: hear you :::crackle:::

I love toying with him.

This Cat Tale, er, Tail, is from September 2009 and is entitled Rule Breakers:

We have rules at Chez Smallville. Cats can get on the beds, on the desk, on the sunroom furniture and on the living room couch. They cannot get on the counters, the tables, the dining room chairs or any of the four new chairs in the living room. And they listen. They know where they can go, and where they cannot.

So, imagine my surprise to walk into the living room and find Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg nesting in a No-No Chair! And look at Max; he's got that Uh-oh face. Tuxedo, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to wake up.

At least not until I yelled Geddownfromthere!

Cat scatter.

I miss those Little Devils.

How to tell the world you’re thirsty for attention without saying a word. 

Well, if you're Lisa Rinna, you appear at Cannes because there are cameras there, and you're dressed like Disco Bride of Frankenstein.

Here’s a palate cleanser to scrub my brain of Rinna … the other day I ordered a delivery of cake flour and the wrong thing was delivered.

Or was it?

So it goes like this … billionaire asshat Jeff Bezos went on a rampage over NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani “villainizing” billionaires so the very next day Mamdani launched a collection effort against Bezos and Amazon and recovered over $9 million in unpaid idling fines which occurred when Amazon drivers left their trucks illegally idling on the streets while they made their deliveries.

Bezos’ $2 trillion company ignored the tickets and fucked around and found out that Mamdani ain’t playin’.

Junior was getting married in the Bahamas over the weekend and his Daddy couldn’t attend because, he said, being president made it impossible—though it never stopped him from golfing or feeding his fat corroded face at Mar-Illegal—but is being too busy the real reason?

See, the real reason is that the Bahamas' Immigration Act generally restricts entry to individuals deemed "undesirable," including convicted criminals, sex offenders, and those with a history of sexual offenses … like the US President.

Makes me wonder if Junior didn’t plan the wedding in the Bahamas on the hopes that Daddy would get arrested.

In South Carolina MAGAt and  former police officer Waylon Rogers, along with Matthew Fay, Allen Folz, Paula Folz, Edward Storer, and Jeanine Storer, have been charged in an alleged child sex ring.

NOT TRANSGENDER! NOT A DRAG QUEEN! NOT AN IMMIGRANT!

Tennessee officials will pay $835,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by Larry Bushart who was jailed for more than a month over a Facebook post he made about the murder of conservative activist racist and asshat Charlie Kirk. Bushart, a retired police officer, spent 37 days behind bars before authorities dropped the felony charge against him in October; Bushart now says:

“I am pleased my First Amendment rights have been vindicated. The people’s freedom to participate in civil discourse is crucial to a healthy democracy. I am looking forward to moving on and spending time with my family.”

A win for Free Speech!

Caesar Romeo van den Idsert is an internationally recognized fashion model, six-foot-one, with blonde and blue eyes … Romeo, Romeo, Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: School Barn Farm

Hidden in a peaceful pocket of Warwickshire, School Farm Barn is an elegant and contemporary home with five bedrooms and an expansive open-plan living space. Its striking profile rises amid a half-acre garden with vegetable beds, pastoral views and a wonderful natural swimming pool.

Once used to store grains, School Farm Barn was converted in 2021 but still using hardworking and hardwearing materials with photovoltaic panels, efficient battery storage capacity, two air-source heat pumps, and underfloor heating added during its construction.

A quiet countryside road winds up to the house with the home's silhouette peering over mature hedges. Behind electric-gates is a large driveway with plenty of space to park cars, including a garage with an EV charging point and a two-car carport.

From the front the home’s roofline extends upward to form an elegant pitch and directly below is the large front door, slightly set back and framed by glazed panels. Entry is to the social core of the house, an airy, versatile open-plan living space with up to twenty-nine-foot-high ceilings. To the left is the dining area and a beautiful bespoke kitchen with discreetly integrated appliances. Part of the countertop doubles as an informal breakfast bar, and beyond are floor-to-ceiling sliding doors to the south-facing terrace. Adjacent to the kitchen is a large pantry, with additional fridge/freezer capacity, a wine fridge, additional units and plenty of shelf space for dried goods. Grounded with oak floors the other half of the space features a living space with a large contemporary Stovax log burner and large windows of varying shapes and sizes that allow plenty of light. 

The rest of the ground floor has been wonderfully apportioned. There is a boot room, separated from the corridor by a glass door, with garden access, ceiling-high cupboards, and an apple-green paneled wall; a large utility room, a half bath, and a large, serene bedroom with en suite shower room. The principal suite also begins on the ground floor. Here, a dressing room with an entire wall of built-in wardrobes and a sublime en suite bathroom with a freestanding bathtub and shower; from the dressing room stairs rise up to the private sleeping loft which overlooks the dressing room below.

At the front of the house, stairs ascend from the living room to the first floor where a long hallway ends in a cozy space built into the window frame. This floor also includes a private office and the three remaining bedrooms; one of the bedrooms has a walk-in wardrobe and a bathroom, while the other two have en suite shower rooms.

The half-acre garden that surrounds School Farm Barn is an immersive space, one that is a core part of the home’s overall experience. A large terraced area abuts the house, providing space for outdoor dining and seating, and a view of the natural swimming pool, a clean-water swimming area added under current ownership, surrounded by water lilies and carefully selected water plants.

Despite its blissfully rural setting, the house is a short distance from central Birmingham and Birmingham International airport and station; the latter runs rail services to London in as little as 65 minutes.

And it can all be yours for £2,150,000 or 2,865,000 USD.

As always click to emBIGGERate …

The Modern House