Meme Dump

An Open Letter to JD Vance

Dear JD Vance ...

I can’t figure you out. It’s not the mascara because there are boys who like their eyes to pop! And it’s not really the couch-fucking, though I won’t be sitting on any furniture in your house should I come to visit. And it’s not the fact that you can’t order a donut.

And it’s not even the way you went from calling The Felon and "idiot" and said he was "reprehensible" and compared him to Hitler just eight years ago and now you’re Mike Pence 2.0.

It’s your stance on children and parenting. I mean, you denigrate anyone who doesn’t have children, calling them less than, though I should remind you that Kamala DOES have kids and so does Pete Buttigieg even though you called them childless. And then you suggest that people who have children should be able to vote for their children because they are valuable to this country.

And now, in the wake of the shooting at Apalachee High School in Georgia that left four people dead—the 45th school shooting in the United States of Guns so far this year—and you say we should just get used to it, that our children being slaughtered in schools is a “fact of life.”

How do you justify that with your stance on children being an asset to protect, on children being the most important part of a marriage, but when children are left dead, and parents are left childless, we should just get used to it?

You also said schools need more security because, after decades and decades of mass shootings, the problem isn’t more guns at all, it’s that we don’t have armed security at school. But there was security at Apalachee High School and still a gun was brought into school because America loves guns more than children, more than Americans.

You also called school shootings a reality and said “we don’t have to like the reality that we live in, but it is the reality we live in. We’ve got to deal with it.”

We have to deal with Sandy Hook, and Apalachee High School and Uvalde and Buell Elementary and Lake Worth Middle School and the University of Washington Medical Center and the University of Arkansas and Carter G. Woodson Middle School and Junipero Serra High School and Osborn High School and Santana High School and Bishop Neumann High School and Granite Hills high School and Lew Wallace High School and Pacific Lutheran University and on and on and on …

Deal with it. It’s a fact of life.

It’s a fact of death, but only in  this country because people like JD Vance and those on the right are beholden to the gun lobby and will do anything from thoughts to prayers, but no real action, on the issue of guns in  this country.

Well, guess what JD?

We’re tired of dealing with it. We’re tired of your thoughts and prayers and your “now is not the time to discuss gun legislation” as the schools wash the blood off their playground and hallways and classrooms.

Now is not the time? Fact of life? Deal with it?

Fred Guttenberg, a gun control activist whose daughter was killed in a 2018 Parkland school shooting:

"School shootings are a fact of life? My daughter Jaime's murder was a fact of life? I can't wait to make your exit from having any say in our public safety a fact of life. I can't wait to vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.’

And that’s what we need to do; do not vote for the guy who basically said “whatever” to school shootings, or for his partner in gun death, The Felon, who in January told supporters after an Iowa school shooting that “we have to get over it.”

Neither of these two men have announced official policies on gun control, though his campaign manager Chris LaCivita says The Felon would continue to oppose gun control efforts.

The fact is children are dying in this country and we’re tired of being told by the hypocritical party of family values to deal with it and get over it. We’re being told on one hand that children make a family, and family is the most important thing, but that if your child is gun down in school … oh well.

If you’re so serious in your position to let children die, JD, then go to Apalachee and tell those parents who no longer have children to deal with it; tell them to their faces to get over it, it’s a fact of life.

And then fuck all the way off.

PS As much as you repulse me in most every area of life, and as much as I despise you and everything you stand for, I hope that you never have to go through what any parent in this country has gone through, sending their child off to school to be slaughtered by an idiot with a gun.

The Funny Papers

Marc Murphy, JD Crowe, Nick Anderson, Kevin Necessary, Michael de Adder, Gary Huck, John Darkow, Ann Telnaes, Darrin Bell, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett,

Why Is It ...

… that one of my greatest skills in working with clients is mastering The Fake Laugh™.

… that I cannot wait to retire so I can get up every day at 6AM and drive around really slowly to make everyone late for work. They say find a hobby and that’ll be mine.

… my morning coffee makes me feel like I have my shiz together; I don’t, but I feel like I do.

… that I really am a multipurpose friend because I’m down for brunch, a movie, aggravated assault, working out, whatever .,.. just let me know.

… that I like asking seven people for advice and then doing what I want anyway.

… that one of my toxic traits is finding out someone doesn’t like me and then trying to make it worse.

… that because I remember how we used to smack the top of the TV set to get a better picture, I have to fight the same urge to do that to people.

… that the first thing I notice when a person approaches me is their audacity.

… that I only drink water, coffee or alcohol? Who knows, but it explains why I am either hydrated, jittery or drunk.

… that I sometimes think sharks aren’t eating enough people.

I Didn't Say It ...

Pete Buttigieg, Transportation Secretary, explaining why he regularly appears on Fox News Entertainment:

“The reason I do it is because I think it’s important … to meet people where they are, and recognize that I can’t be mad at somebody for not embracing our message if they’ve literally never heard it. The more one-sided the news network is, the less likely [its viewers] will have heard [Democratic messages], unless I literally go there and share it. And I think it’s especially true in this election, because I know a lot of folks who watch Fox News and count on Fox News [and] I want [Fox News viewers] to at least have heard that, maybe more often than they would have [otherwise]. I know veterans who watch Fox News. I want to ask them to consider the difference between a ticket, led by somebody who faked a disability, getting a doctor’s note, taking advantage of him being a teenage multimillionaire so that he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam … compared to, a ticket led by the administration that delivered the PACT Act that made sure that veterans who I served with in Iraq and Afghanistan [and were exposed] to burn pits, get the cancer treatment that they need. I always visualize people who I know who I disagree with and who are just maybe tuning in. I don’t think they’re going to see me on Fox for five minutes and see the light and suddenly become liberal Democrats. But I know that we’re having a healthier conversation if they’ve at least heard what somebody like me has to say. Well, you know, each of us has different kind of tactical decisions about where we go and how we do it, but I’m proud to speak on Fox News and other conservative outlets on behalf of this campaign because I believe in this campaign, and I think it’s especially important in places where certain arguments—not even arguments, just certain facts—might not otherwise be aired. I imagine most viewers of Fox News are sincerely unaware that immigrants are no more likely to commit a crime than somebody who was born here, because that’s just not a fact that gets mentioned on their airways very often. So to the extent they’re willing to invite me on there, I think it’s important for me to take the opportunity to share it.”

Again, simple common sense; Pete also does not denigrate the Fox viewers, even if they vehemently disagree because there may be hope that someone listening might change their mind about the Democrats and the Republicans.

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Sigourney Weaver, actor, accepting the Golden Lion Lifetime Achievement Award at the Venice Film Festival, after a reporter asked about how the character of Ripley contributed to the empowerment of women, including Kamala Harris:

"I love that question because we're all so excited about Kamala and to think for one moment that my work would have anything to do with her rise makes me very happy, actually, because it’s true. I have so many women who come and thank me. It's been difficult since 2016 and we’re all very grateful about her. What I appreciated about what [Alien writers] Walter Hill and David Giler wrote and how [director Ridley Scott] put it together was that my character was a person, not a woman, and they're two of the very few writers who can write a script where it's just a person. If you don't have to see her being girly or womanly or any of these other ideas, which are all great [because] women can be everything, but I got to play really what I realize now [was] the everyperson part. She's all of us. She is what you become when you have to find the ingenuity and don't even have time to be brave or anything else and I think of the women all over the world who are on the front lines of climate change and all these crises: It's the women who are taking care of their families, of their children, who are often doing the work. They're on the front lines. I take my inspiration from what I see as an actual woman. We were not getting our due and to me women were always so capable. We are everything so the idea the film world was using the pie and we were like this [raising and widening her arms], Walter and David loved strong women, felt women were strong. That's the funny thing. I'm always asked why I play strong women and I always think, 'What a weird question' because I just play women. Women are strong and they don't give up. You want to know why? We can't. We have to do it."

I do know that it was the first times we saw a strong, determined woman leading the way in a science fiction film and becoming the hero and the savior.

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Tom Cotton, GOP senator, on The Felon’s proposal to have the government or insurance companies cover IVF treatments.

“Well, all Republicans, to my knowledge, support IFV in the Congress. And there’s no state that prohibits or regulates IVF in a way that makes it unaccessible [sic]. It is expensive for many couples, I understand that. So it’s something I’m open to that most Republicans would be open to. I think we’d have to evaluate the fiscal impact, whether the taxpayer can afford to pay for this, what impact it would have on premiums. But in principle, supporting couples who are trying to use IVF or other fertility treatments – I don’t think is something that’s controversial at all.”

Oh Tom, you f**king liar.

In June 2024, Tom Cotton and 46 fellow Senate Republicans voted against expanding access to IVF. Today, Cotton calls that bill “ridiculous messaging.”

He’s a typical lying ReTHUGlican.

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Elise Stefanik, GOP Representative from New York, lying about The Felon’s campaign stop at Arlington Cemetery:

“Look at this past week … this was the three-year anniversary of those 13 service members in Afghanistan, now 13 Gold Star families. And you have Kamala Harris’s campaign politicizing this, not mentioning their names, not taking accountability for that catastrophic decision. She was the last person in the room advising Joe Biden and yet they’re criticizing [The Felon]’s invitation from those families at Arlington. Kamala Harris is a disgrace and we need to make sure she never becomes commander in chief.”

What Elise—who, let’s face it, is the GOP lapdog for the men—isn’t telling you is that the timeline for the withdrawal from Afghanistan was set in place by The Felon, who then used those deaths as a reason to stand on the graves of dead soldiers as a five-time draft dodger and smile while giving us all the thumbs up.

Also, ask Elise and any other Republican including The Felon where they were on the first anniversary of these soldier’s deaths … or the second anniversary. And you’ll realize they showed up this year because it’s an election year and they want to campaign on the dead bodies of soldiers.

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Kamala  Harris, Democrat for President, on The Felon’s tasteless display at Arlington:

“As Vice President, I have had the privilege of visiting Arlington National Cemetery several times. It is a solemn place; a place where we come together to honor American heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of this nation. It is not a place for politics. And yet, as was reported this week, [The Felon]’s team chose to film a video there, resulting in an altercation with cemetery staff. Let me be clear: the former president disrespected sacred ground, all for the sake of a political stunt. This is nothing new from [him]. This is a man who has called our fallen service members ‘suckers’ and ‘losers’ and disparaged Medal of Honor recipients. A man who, during a previous visit to the cemetery, reportedly said of fallen service members, ‘I don’t get it. What was in it for them?’ This is a man who is unable to comprehend anything other than service to himself. If there is one thing on which we as Americans can all agree, it is that our veterans, military families, and service members should be honored, never disparaged, and treated with nothing less than our highest respect and gratitude. And it is my belief that someone who cannot meet this simple, sacred duty should never again stand behind the seal of the President of the United States of America. I will always honor the service and sacrifice of all of America’s fallen heroes, who made the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of our beloved nation and our cherished freedoms. I mourn them and salute them. And I will never politicize them.”

And that’s how a President responds.

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Bobservations

Y’all know I’m childish, right? I mean, you may say child-like, but it’s really childish.

Case in point: after taking a long hike along the river last weekend, as we were driving home I was tormenting Carlos as a childish person does, and he … well, I posted this on my phone to remind me:

“On Saturday August 31, 2024, and I am going to spot him a half hour starting at 11AM, Carlos Divid Harris said he was not going to speak to me for twenty-four hours. I laughed and said he wouldn’t last twenty-four seconds. He said he would not speak again until 11AM on September 1, 2024. We’ll see how that goes; I am writing this down so that when he fails, and he will, I will have proof.”

Carlos began speaking at 11:35 AM which means, with the half-hour I spotted him, he stopped speaking for about 9 minutes. And to be fair, that was longer than the twenty-four seconds I thought he’d last.

This Tuxedo Memory is from May 2019 and is entitled: Another Scorcher In Smallville ... Tuxedo Has The Right Idea

That cat always picked the most interesting positions in which to nap … he was just a chalk outline away from playing the role of roadkill on some animal show!

Well, roadkill or some totally adorable boy!

Here’s proof that just because you’re a relatively slender model, it doesn’t mean you can have the most delightful cakes.

Melanie has unveiled the cover for her upcoming memoir and despite its minimalist design, some critics claim it's a blatant act of plagiarism.

What? Melanie? Plagiarize? Like Michelle Obama’s DNC speech years back?

Melanie's book cover is an all-black with simple white text reading 'MELANIA' in all caps … and looks suspiciously like the iconic Chanel Catwalk book.

I haven’t read it, and won’t read it, but I’m told it’s the story of Melanie’s life on Chicago’s South Side and working hard to attend both Harvard and Princeton before marrying the love of her life and giving birth to Sasha and Malia.

Just sayin’.

In Camden, as it is in many small towns across the state, we have an opera house. Of course, it fell into disuse many years ago and when we moved here only the ground floor was being used as a secondhand store. Sad, really, for such a beautiful building. And for years there was talk about recreating the opera house interior but then a couple of years ago the talk turned toward making  the opera house a boutique hotel, and that’s apparently going to happen.

That photo up there is the opera house and its clock tower that chimes on the hour and the quarter- and half-hours. And down there are the renderings of what the hotel will be: four floors and 50 rooms, with a restaurant in the lobby and called The Haigler Hotel, so named for a noble Catawba Chief who befriended Camden’s pioneers. The clock tower, though not seen in the renderings will remain and still chime the hours each day.

Our little town is growing but it’s keeping its sense of history, and I am here for that!

You’ve heard of Weekend at Bernie’s but this true story is more Weekend at Wells Fargo.

There’s an investigation underway in Tempe, Arizona after a Wells Fargo employee—and I won’t post her name so as not to embarrass her family—died while on the job and no one noticed.

A timeline released by police suggests her body was there for four days before being discovered.

How does that happen?

The Venice Film Festival has been going on for a couple of weeks and here are some style icons, clockwise in no particular order … Angelina Jolie, Cate Blanchett, Eva Green and Nicole Kidman. Stunning, but there’s always room for a thirst-seeker and this year’s was Eva Herzigova wearing … God Only Knows™.

Last week I mentioned that one school district in Oklahoma was refusing to follow the order of State Superintendent Ryan Walters and his demand for Bible Study in all public schools.

Now, out of about 540 public districts and charter schools in the state, 54 superintendents responded to the survey and, when asked if their district was requiring educators to teach on or from the Bible, 46 said ‘No’ and just two said ‘Yes;’ others were unclear on the guidelines.

Taking a stand … even in Oklahoma.

This is Stefano Tomadini—sounds like a Delicious pasta dish—an Italian model. But this isn’t about food or models, it’s about a simple question: Would You Hit It?