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The other night Tuxedo and I were watching television when Carlos came into the room and joined us. We watched for a while and then it was time to go to bed. I do what I always do, pick Tuxedo up from my lap, give him smooches and ask if he’s ready for … well, it goes like this:
“Are you ready for sleeps? Do you want some sleeps? Let’s go sleeps.”
Carlos says:
“Are you talking to me?”
Yes, he thought for a hot minute that I, a grown-assed man—albeit a cat loving grown-assed man—would say to another grown-assed man:
“Are you ready for some sleeps? Do you want some sleeps? Let’s go sleeps.”
Oy. He kills me.
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The other morning Lara Spencer and the Good Morning America team ridiculed news that Prince George was interested in pursuing ballet: Spencer said:
“Prince William says ‘Prince George absolutely loves ballet.’ I’ve got news for you, Prince William. We’ll see how long that lasts.”
And they all laughed because grown-ups, parents of children of their own mind you, find it high-larious in 20-effing-19 that a boy might like ballet, or maybe he’d grow up to be a little light in his loafers if allowed to dance.
Spencer was rightly dragged all over social media by male dancers who asked why in the world she would say such things and on Monday morning, she apologized and then had a sit down with three male dancers to sort of explain why she shouldn’t have said what she said.
Um, Lara? Because it’s 2019 and if boys want to dance, let ‘em. And if girls wanna play football, let ‘em. Save your gender bias for your own family.
Asshat. And as for the rest of you on GMA who laughed? Fuck you, too.
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Pope Francis wants us all to pray for the fires in the Amazon to get under control … like politicians who send their prayers after mass shootings.
Forget the prayers. Howsabout asking for the world to take this fire, these fires, as seriously as they all took the fire at Notre Dame, because last I checked, the burning of that cathedral wasn’t affecting the entire planet.
I pray for world leaders to do something rather than pray. Okay, Frankie?
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Marysville, Michigan political newcomer and city council candidate, Jean Cramer stunned an election forum last week by answering a question about the diversity of Marysville with this:
“Keep Marysville a white community as much as possible.”
Yes, she did. And, after others in the forum denigrated Cramer for her blatant racism, a reporter asked if she wanted to clarify her response:
“As long as, how can I put this? What Kathy Hayman [someone who spoke about having a biracial family] doesn’t know is that her family is in the wrong. (A) husband and wife need to be the same race. Same thing with kids. That’s how it’s been from the beginning of, how can I say, when God created the heaven and the earth. He created Adam and Eve at the same time. But as far as me being against blacks, no I’m not.”
She’s against anyone who isn’t white having anything to do with white people.
If you can see how this doesn’t make her a racist, point it out to men, please.
UPDATE: Cramer has dropped out of the race, proving that if you wanna get rid of a racist, shine a light on them and they'll scurry back under the dryer like a cockroach.
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The Kansas City Health Department is facing backlash for pouring bleach on meals meant for the homeless earlier this month while citing issues related to how the food was prepared.
Apparently, Free Hot Soup KC had intended to distribute food—home-cooked chili, foil-wrapped sandwiches and soup—to the homeless, but the city's health department confiscated the items at separate parks where the food was meant to be distributed. Officials claim the volunteer group did not have a permit and that the food was not prepared in approved kitchens, therefore deeming it a public safety risk.
Okay, but wasn’t there any way to check the food, or check the kitchen where it was prepared before deciding to dump bleach on it?
Oh, and Free Hot Soup KC returned to that same park with meals on hand on Sunday and no health officials intervened in that gathering.
I guess they were all at church?
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Vaping.
How does anyone with a brain firing on more than two cylinders truly think that sucking hot air into your lungs is a healthy alternative to smoking?
How stupid are we?
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You ever wonder why _____ is always ranting about Chicago …. maybe it’s because Chicago will not let up on him.
Oh, too bad, so sad.
See, _____ billboards get vandalized as soon as they go up, the University of Illinois is in an uproar over his speaking engagement and now the Wiener's Circle, one of Chicago's best hot dog stands, is offering _____ his very own special menu item:
A 3-inch hot dog called the "_____ footlong." Wiener's Circle employees are also wearing hats that say "Make Wiener's great again."
I love you, Chicago.
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Liars gonna lie … a viral clip from the G7 hit social media this week proving that not only does Melanie not speak French, but that she forgot she told everyone she could.
During a joint press conference between French President Emmanuel Macron and her husband, Macron spoke French for many long-form answers and Melanie, who we’ve been told speaks fluent French, needed the translation headset to understand Macron.
Or, maybe she was using it when her husband spoke to translate gibberish into nonsense?
And then, also at the G7, _____ claimed that Melanie has “gotten to know” North Korean leader Kim Jong Un even though everyone, even his own White House, admits the two have never met.
And then … CNN accused _____ of lying after reviewing photos from the G7 summit and determining that the White House ran cover for him not attending a climate change meeting.
Cuz his chair was empty during the meeting.
Truth be told, however, an empty chair was probably more useful in a climate change summit than _____.
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Pretty soon it’ll be an empty house … Jerri Ann Henry, the executive director of Log Cabin Republicans, has resigned over the group’s endorsement of _____ for reelection.
Henry, who was the first woman to lead the LCR, submitted her resignation last Friday and left on Monday citing her discontent with _____ and dissatisfaction with LCR’s endorsement of him.
She joins Jennifer Horn, Robert Turner II, who once led LCR’s D.C. chapter, and Rachel Hoff, who gained notoriety during the 2016 Republican National Convention for arguing for LGBT inclusion in the Republican Party during the platform drafting process.
It looks like soon the LCR will be just delusional Log Cabin spokesman Charles Moran.
Sorry, not sorry.
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Now for a palate cleanser … Hot Man, model and fitness instructor, Trevor Michael Opalewski.
Sexy. Fit. Hot. Nekkid.
Okurrrrrr …
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