Why Is It ...

… that I loathe Taylor Swift and find her music boring and tuneless tripe, but that I love how she  pisses off the MAGAts and the Rightwingnuts?

… that it sometimes takes me days to get back to a text? To be honest, I’m understaffed at the moment.

… that sometimes you meet someone and you just know from that first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them?

… that while some people can sleep on their backs, or their sides, or their stomachs, I tend to sleep like a rotisserie chicken?

… that when I scream at a squirrel to get out of the road so he doesn’t get run over by a car, I have the same feeling as my Guardian Angel does watching me live my life?

… that I find it impossible to ‘rise and shine’? All I can do is caffeinate and cross my fingers.

… that I get what I call ‘pre-annoyed’? It’s like I know you’re about to piss me off?

… that I tell people that the best perk to being my friend is that they’ll be called the 'normal’ one?

… that I am still waiting for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age?

… most people are scared to say stuff but I’m not? Is that why I only have three friends … Carlos, Rosita and Consuelo?

… that the fact I cannot explode into a thousand bats to escape awkward social interactions is a constant source of irritation?