I Didn't Say It ...

Dolly Parton, legend, icon, LGBTQ+ ally, angel, in a Zoom interview with RuPaul, about always being fully made-up:

“I have to always stay ready—street ready, I always say. I have to keep my makeup on and keep my hair done. Like, when I’m in L.A.—I’ve told you about it—if it’s going to earthquake, if we get an earthquake, I’m not running out in the street looking like you look now. I have to be ambulance-ready at all times, if I get sick or something. But I actually do wear high heels most of the time. They’re not always as high as the ones I wear for show. But I’m little. I’m short. And I have to wear heels in order to reach my cabinets. But I always enjoy wearing the shoes too, and I just feel more like me. But I can come down, though. I’m comfortable in my own skin; I’m comfortable with my image. I dress for myself more than I do for somebody else.”

I’m.Not.Running.Out.In.The.Street.Looking.Like.You.Do.Now.

Oh Dolly, you are a gift! Actually, you're a treasure.

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Clément Beaune, French European Affairs Minister, coming out as gay in an interview TETU magazine, and saying he will visit Poland’s “LGBT free” zones in support of activists:

“I wouldn’t want people to say I am fighting against ‘LGBT-free’ zones because I am gay. It would be insulting to say I am leading that fight for myself. However, as European affairs minister, I have an additional responsibility. I must fight for tolerance.”

Perhaps he isn’t fighting these zones simply because he’s gay, but it may have something to do with it. I mean, a place exists where you are not allowed to exist simply because you’re gay?

Go. Stand. Fight. Not for tolerance, but for the same right to exist as every other person,

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Luke Evans, actor and tall hunk of British Husband-In-My-Head, saying he never hid the fact that he was gay because he didn’t discuss it:

“[My sexual orientation] was the last thing I had, because everything else I’ve given to the world. My career was public, I was photographed, and all that stuff. My personal life just became the last thing that I had. Also, what was strange was that when people did find out that I was gay, there was a lot of articles and stuff written saying that I was hiding it, and I wasn’t. I just wanted to get online and I wanted to pick up the phone and say, ‘Do you realize I left home at 16 because I was gay?' I went into the world as a kid, because I had to. I am proud and happy, and I’ve lived a very big life that I’m super happy with. And I’ve never been ashamed. And now all of a sudden I was being treated in this way and it was a scary moment because I was, like, oh God, this is horrible. This is not true. None of this is true. I just try and be authentic, because this is who I am. I am this person. I’m not creating another image so that I can portray one to you.”

I like the way he explained this: that, as an actor, you give so much of yourself to the media and the public, but maybe you want some semblance of privacy, BUT … anyone who comes out makes it easier for someone else to do so, and when a person who has a certain level of fame comes out, it makes it easier for a great deal more LGBTQ+ people to come out.

You don’t have to talk about your romantic life, but just come out so people won’t think you’re ashamed and hiding and maybe they’ll feel less ashamed and stop hiding themselves.

Just sayin’.

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Bob the Drag Queen, calling out comedian Dave Chappelle for making anti-transgender jokes:

“I do think the issue with trans lives—especially in the Black community—doesn’t necessarily lie within racism, but it does lie within prejudice and misogyny, specifically trans-misogyny, and this is not just something for just the trans people to address or just the queer people to address. Like, we need, in this world, cisgender, straight, Black men to stand up and say, ‘Trans lives matter.' Don’t even get me started at Dave Chappelle. This is a real blow to my system because, like, Dave Chappelle is someone that I’ve always looked up to, and his comedy is so… lately he’s been really doubling down on this idea that trans people are a joke, or that trans existence is funny or that trans people just living their lives is funny to him. And then when Dave Chappelle—who’s one of the most respected Black people in comedy and entertainment—goes on TV or when Netflix gives him money to say, ‘I can’t stop laughing at trans people, they’re just so funny!’ then it validates that idea for other people, and then other people double down and agree with him. You don’t have to punch down. Like, you’re Dave Chappelle, all of your content leading up to this year, you didn’t have any trans-misogynistic jokes in any of that stuff. You don’t need that stuff.”

Trans people aren’t a joke.

Trans people are being murdered because they are trans, and every time a Dave Chappelle makes light of being trans, he’s making them less than, and killing someone less than isn’t such a bad thing to some people.

It’s not funny.

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Tom Harald Hagen, a Norwegian football referee, coming out as gay after hearing a player’s homophobic slur against another player:

“It is the height of irony that I was just leading that match. Maybe he said it on a whim, that can happen in football. But we have to get rid of it … [And so] I feel the time is right and I think that only positive things will come out of this. I have gradually become confident in myself, and my life is very good. I feel it is important to make it safe, including the fact that I am gay. I have lived like that all my life, my relationship, my family—and my football family."

Coming out and standing up to homophobia in sports. Bravo, sir.

And so, please accept as out gift to you, from HOMO HQ, the Official coming Out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of the Gay Agenda.

Welcome out and thank you!

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Can I Get An Amen: CJ Is Going As Bob The Drag Queen

CJ is a 9-year-old gender nonconforming boy and he is ready for Halloween.

This year he wants to dress up as his personal hero, so he told his mother, Lori Duron — who had a blog called Raising My Rainbow — that he was going to need “need her dress and purse and hair and makeup and everything.”

Oh, his hero is RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Bob The Drag Queen, and now his mother and his gay uncle are going to make sure he gets the look down.

“Bob, RuPaul and all the queens are brave, strong heroes for my rainbow son. They’ve taught him to celebrate his uniqueness, cultivate his own style and let criticisms roll off his back. They’ve taught him the importance and power of loving himself. They’ve also taught him a few words and phrases that I’ve told him he can’t use until he’s 18.” — Lori Duron

And since Lori doesn’t sew, is not a whiz with make-up and says she’s never styled a wig, she turned to her brother, CJ’s gay Uncle Michael, for help in that area.

“You can’t order this costume on online, mom! Call my FuGuncle (fun gay uncle)!”

Michael worked with CJ to match Bob The Drag Queen’s style in her music video, “Purse First.” Michael set up a RuPaul styled workroom in the family dining room to style the wigs and create the makeup and, most importantly, to advise CJ on perfecting “the stance;” that would be walking sideways into the room “purse first.”

CJ says a lot of his friends have asked him what he’s going to be this year and he wasn’t telling, though not, as his mother worried, because he was afraid he would get teased.

He just doesn’t want anyone stealing his idea.

CJ? Shantay you stay!

LGBTQ Nation

I Didn't Say It ...

Matthew Breen, editor-in-chief of The Advocate, accepting his Trailblazer Honor and speaking on Orlando: 

“I’ve got something to say to those who would do us harm; to those rightwing politicians and religious fanatics [The Advocate] too often covers: You cannot relentlessly discriminate against us and dehumanize us and then stand back and act shocked when someone takes your ideas into his black rotted heart and slaughters us in those places where we gather for community. We are not interested in your prayers unless they are followed up with action. And we do not accept that living in this country means lining up for a massive game of Russian roulette. There is no justification on earth for giving madmen access to mass murder machines. So listen up you Mitch McConnell’s, Pat McCrery’s, Wayne, LaPierre’s, Family Research Council, and all you bigots who methodically work to keep us down and keep the madmen armed, ‘You have f**ked with the wrong group of people.’ In case you have not been paying attention these last fifty years, this community is strong, resilient, very effective and mightily pissed off. We will not permit your insane brand of fundamentalism and we’re coming for your assault rifles, too.”

Words have meaning; words have consequences.

Sticks and stones; words hurt sometimes worse than sticks and stones.

They hurt like bullets.

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Bob the Drag Queen, on [t]Rump]s popularity:

"Trump is racist, and the reason why he's popular right now is because he lets a lot of people act racist without saying the word racist. He's a racist, and his supporters are racist, and they get to be racist without saying they're racist. I said racist, right? … RA-CIST. … Racist. … Racist."

No matter how he spins it, Donald The Rump is a racist.

We don’t need more hate in this country.

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Pope Francis, on the Church and The Gays:

“I think that the Church not only should apologize … to a gay person whom it offended but it must also apologize to the poor as well, to the women who have been exploited, to children who have been exploited by (being forced to) work. It must apologize for having blessed so many weapons. The Church teaches that homosexual tendencies are not sinful but homosexual acts are, and that homosexuals should try to be chaste. The question is: if a person who has that condition, who has good will, and who looks for God, who are we to judge?”

Oh, Pope Frankie got all kinds of Gay Praise for that first sentence, but read on: “homosexual tendencies” aren’t bad, but “homosexual acts” are; he wants us to be gay but not act gay, not love, not marry, not raise children.

He can go screw himself.

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Harvey Fierstein, accepting his Trailblazer Honor and speaking on Orlando: 

“These last two weeks have been very hard for all of us, especially for gay people who, as soon as we heard the news, we knew, we knew who took out that gun and shot; we knew it wasn’t something to do with Islam, we knew it was Hate, but hate turned inward, hate so strong, hate that destroyed so completely that his soul was gone … completely gone. And all he could was cry out; and then, instead of knowing there was someone he could cry out to, to say, ‘Help me! Help me be myself! Tell me I’m all right,’ he took a gun to prove he was a man and destroyed hundreds of lives. It wasn’t just those forty-nine people … it was all of their friends’, all of their families’ lives destroyed because someone told him he could not be him. We live our lives and they are short, little, silly lives, they really are, they go so fast, and history’s being made in every moment. Open your eyes; you are part of history, every moment. You either participate, or you don’t that’s your choice, but you’re part of history. All you need to do is show up. And don’t lie. I’ve seen people go to gay marches because they were angry; I’ve seen people go to gay marches because they were proud; I’ve seen people go to gay marches to get laid. It doesn’t matter. Show up.  Show up. Now you are surrounded with love, now you are surrounded with acceptance. So take advantage of it Put your arms around each other, tell each other, ‘I have your back no matter what.’ Show up. Show up for life. Make history.”

As that other Harvey, Harvey Milk, said, so many many years ago: we all need to come out, and come out to everyone, all the time, every day.

The more we are out, the stronger we are, and the less afraid people will be of us, and of themselves, so that maybe, maybe, we’ll have less people murdered because they’re gay by a murderer who was to ashamed to be gay.

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Random Musings

It’s not my birthday … it’s not our anniversary. But I just read that the “Oppenheimer Blue” diamond was sold for a record-breaking $57.5 million and I will say this: it matches my eyes and Carlos did leave the house with the checkbook so ….

Fingers crossed.

Have you seen those commercials where the new SUVs have a deal where you wiggle your foot under the rear bumper and the hatchback opens automatically because you’re too lazy to take out your keys and use your hands?

I.Loathe.That.Ad. And that car.

Then there’s this … an ad on TV last night where a woman is melon-balling a watermelon — let’s not get into the sexual double-entendre there —and her husband calls from the store; he’s doing the groceries and wants to know if they need eggs.

The wife is too busy balling to look in the fridge so she tells him to, ahem, “check his phone” ... because their new fridge has a camera inside that you can access from your phone when your wife is too effing lazy to look in the fridge herself.

Seriously. We are getting way too lazy. I say this as I voice type and use the remote to change the TV channel and check the pot roast in the oven while the Roomba vacuums and Tuxedo washes the cars.

Carlos and I are having our Semi-Annual Sometimes Cinco de Never bash next weekend and we are in the planning and preparation stages as the date draws near.

We opted to forgo a fancy dessert and instead are going to do Mexican brownies — they are made while a hint of cayenne pepper — and lemon bars and cookies and finger-ish type desserts.

Last Monday Carlos announced he would be making the brownies that night.

I said, “You wanna make a dessert tonight  for a party we’re having in twelve days?”

“We don’t have much time.”

Twelve.Days. And this from Carlos the Procrastinator who, when we had a new light fixture installed in the kitchen ceiling announced he would repaint the ceiling and then took, wait for it, it’s rich, five years to do it!

Oy, I love that man, goddess help me.

Speaking of Mexico … last week Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto called for the legalization of same-sex marriage nationwide.

Yes, heavily Catholic Mexico is moving forward with equality!

In other Good News, Itzhak Perlman has also Springsteen’d North Carolina by becoming the latest to cancel a performance in the state over their Bathroom Bill:

“As my fans know, I have spent a lifetime advocating against discrimination towards those with physical disabilities and have been a vocal advocate for treating all people equally. As such, it is only after much deliberation that I have decided to cancel tomorrow’s concert in North Carolina as a stand against House Bill 2.”

Bravo, Mr. Perlman!

In other … yes, other as in more … good news, Eric Fanning has finally been confirmed by the Senate as the first openly gay Secretary of the Army.

Fanning had served as Acting Secretary while his confirmation was being held up by the, you guessed it, Republicans in the Senate.

Seriously, the GOP is about twenty steps behind the rest of the world.

Yassssss! Bob the Drag Queen won RuPaul’s Drag Race this season and I was thrilled.

I loved his lip sync and his humor and his whole aesthetic but ….

I will say that when last year’s winner, Violet Chachki, stepped onstage to crown Bob, her drag nearly blew the roof off the auditorium and had me leaping from my chair.

Her picture is now in the dictionary under “fierce.”

Melania Trump is speaking again and she wants you all to know that she knows, ahem, that …

“We know the truth. He’s not Hitler.”

Yes, Melania is worried that people might think The Rump is Hitler.

Meanwhile, Hitler is sitting in Hell, waiting for his future bridge partners Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, demanding that we stop comparing him to Rump.

We started watching a WGN show called ‘Underground,’ a story of the slaves using the underground Railroad to escape to freedom.

It’s kinda hard to watch at times, listening to the use of the n-word and the way in which people treated other people, based on their skin color but …

I found some hot in the show, in, from left to right, Reed Diamond, who plays a slave owner, Aldis Hodge, who plays a slave trying to escape, and Mark Blucas, as an abolitionist.

So far the story is very, very good, and the men very easy on the eyes.

Random Musings

Co-worker: “We had dinner with [a fellow coworker] the other night and I was schooled on how to say “tiramisu.”

[He pronounced it tier-ah-me-sue, emphasis on the ‘me’ … which I learned through Google is correct]

Me: “I say tiramisu.”

[I pronounced it tier-ah-me-sue, emphasis on the ‘sue’ … which I learned through Google is also correct]

Co-worker: “She says that’s the way you say it, but why does she have to school me like?”

Me: “I would’a said, ‘Um, quick question [fellow co-worker], is it pronounced Fuck you or Fook you?”

In all fairness I loathe Will Ferrell. I have never, and before you ask, I mean I gave never found him funny in anything anywhere anytime ever.

And then I’d heard that Ferrell was going to produce and star in ‘Reagan,’ which has been described as a “dementia comedy” about Reagan’s second term which goes something like this:

At the beginning of President Reagan’s second term he “falls into dementia” and is convinced that he’s actually an actor playing the president in a movie.

Yeah, because dementia is funny. Again, I loathe Will Ferrell and the good news is that when the idea of the film was revealed people went nuts because, again, dementia isn’t funny, and Ferrell has, for now, pulled the plug.

Cuz he’s not funny.

I did chuckle last week when former Weeper of the House, John Boehner, failed presidential contender Ted Cruz ‘Lucifer in the flesh’, but not everyone was pleased by that characterization; Satanists are pissed, saying there is no comparison between the incarnation of evil and a red guy with a tail.

So here’s what the Satanic Temple had to say:

“Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.”

Now, to be fair, the Satanic Church is mostly a group of non-theistic activists who eschew all religions and adhere to a set of humanistic tenets that promote compassion and reason.

Still, when even the Devil is pissed that Ted Cruz is compared to him, you gotta pay attention.

Not because of his first name … but my choice to win this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race is … Bob the Drag Queen.

She’s fierce and funny and serves the LGBT community with tea and shade and love.

From the Too Stupid To Be Allowed Out In Public With Regular Folk File:

Stacy Pincus, an Illinois woman, has filed a $5 million lawsuit against Starbucks for putting too much ice in her ice coffee.

Now, her lawsuit is open. Meaning other loons who cannot say, “I’d like an ice coffee, ice on the side,” or “I’ll have an ice coffee, but not so much ice,” can join in the stupidity.

In addition to the millions of dollars, Stacy Pincus wants Starbucks to list their Iced Drinks by how many fluid ounces of liquid are in the drink and not by the size of the cup.

For me, I’d like to get on down to WalMart, find a cheap coffee machine and a bag of ice and send them to Stacy Pincus and tell her to stay the eff home.

In response, Starbucks says when customers order cold drinks they expect them to be … cold.

So, while at my Dad’s house we watched an episode of Masterpiece Theater, a series called Grantchester, about an English crime-solving priest. It was lighthearted and fun and hot, because the priest is played James Norton, right. Ooh.La.La.

There is also a show on our DVR called Game of Silence. We haven’t begun watching it but I did notice that it stars David Lyons, left, who has been on many shows before and he just oozes sex appeal … in my opinion.

Thanks Obama!

President Obama is poised to declare the first-ever national monument recognizing the struggle for LGBT rights by singling out a sliver of green space and part of the surrounding Greenwich Village neighborhood as the birthplace of America’s modern gay liberation movement.

This would be the first national monument that included a bar — Stonewall — and a neighborhood of narrow streets rather than a rural setting, a mountainous piece of land, a desert or some other natural landscape.

Barring a last-minute complication — city officials are still investigating the history of the land title — President Obama is prepared to designate the area as part of the National Park Service as soon as next month … the beginning of pride Celebrations around the country.

Again, thanks Obama.

Before he dropped out of the race that god told him to enter — begging the question: is there a God? — I watched a video where Ted Cruz tried to reason with a [t]Rump supporter … which is a near impossible feat.

I almost felt sorry for the Teabagging Senator as the guy went all [t]Rump and refused to listen and kept saying, “Lyin’ Ted! Lyin’ Ted.”

Then I remembered that this was Ted Cruz and I was all, “F**k him.”

Carlos plays trumpet in a local community band.

While in Oregon he bought a sticker with a treble clef on it.

This morning he comes into the office with the sticker and a Human Rights Campaign sticker, and …

Carlos: I think I’ll put both of these on my trumpet case!

Bob: Aren’t you worried the football team will beat you up in the cafeteria at lunch?

Carlos: What?

Bob: Nothing.

Lastly, John Kasich followed in Ted Cruz’s footsteps this week and also dropped out of the presidential race. He said he would sit and pray for advice about what God had in store for him now.

Um, Johnny? God never planned for you to be president. She has a lot of things on her plate, around the mother**king universe for Her sake, and has little time for the aspirations of a Republican.

Get a life.