Bobservations

Tuxedo has a thing where he wants to go outside and have us carry him around the yard and when he wants that, he howls. And this morning, I hear him howling at Carlos to go out, and Carlos argues back, and I’m thinking:

“You’re not going to win, sweetie pie.”

Tuxedo howls; Carlos says ‘No.’ Tuxedo howls; Carlos shouts ‘No!; Tuxedo howls; Carlos shrieks ‘Noooooo!’

And then I hear:

“Oh my god, your paws are so cold! Why are your paws so cold? Come into the bathroom and rest on the bathmat while I take a shower. It’s warm in there. And when I get done, I’ll take you outside.”

Tuxedo always wins.

For Tuxedo, the hypocrisy of the GQP smells a lot like what’s found in a cat litter box.

Prevea Health and Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers are ending their partnership after Rodgers lied about getting the vaccine and then tested positive for COVID, with Prevea saying:

“Prevea Health remains deeply committed to protecting its patients, staff, providers and communities amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. This includes encouraging and helping all eligible populations to become vaccinated.”

Rodgers also got a smackdown from the NFL after h lied, again, when he said an NFL doctor told him “it would be impossible for a vaccinated person to catch or spread COVID.” Rodgers says he doesn’t remember that doctor’s name. and so the NFL came for him, too:

“No doctor from the league or the joint NFL-NFLPA infectious disease consultants communicated with the player. If they had, they certainly would have never said anything like that.”

Aaron Rodgers is a liar, who endangered his teammates with his lies. Simple.

This week it was announced that evangelical leader crackpot Franklin Graham was scheduled for a very serious heart operation. My first thought was they were planning to install one, but this is better.

Graham had surgery after developing constrictive pericarditis, which causes inflammation and hardening of the sac surrounding the heart.

Yes, his heart has hardened. Seriously you can’t make this shiz up.

Elaine Chao, the Demon Wife of Mitch McTurtle, is the daughter of a Chinese Shipping magnate. She’s never worked a day in her life until she was appointed to a position in the Thing 45 White House as Transportation Secretary, but now she’s telling American workers it's their 'patriotic duty' to take whatever jobs are offered to them.

Note she never says employers have a patriotic duty to pay their workers a living wage because Chao is a complicit bitch.

Ingo Rademacher, a regular on “General Hospital” for the last 25 years, has been kicked to the curb for refusing to comply with the production’s vaccine mandate.

#ByeFelicia

Who saw this coming … the most diverse City Council in the entire country has just seven members and is in the last place I would ever think it would be.

For the first time, most of the members—four of the seven—are racial and ethnic minorities., and also for the first time, a majority—again four—are openly LGBTQ.

And that City Council is in … wait for it … it boggles the mind … Salt Lake City, Utah.

In writing his book Betrayal: The Final Act of the Trump Show,, ABC News’ Jonathan Karl saw photos of Michael Elizabeth Pence in hiding on January 6 but he wasn’t permitted to publish them in his book because the Pence team refused to give them to him.

Karl does day that one photo shows Pence in hiding and reading a Tweet from Thing 45 attacking him:

“It kind of looks like Pence is grimacing, but you can never really tell.”

Cuz Michael Elizabeth Pence is always grimacing.

Also in LGBTQ+ news, the Navy christened its latest ship, a replenishment oiler named after slain civil rights leader, and one of my personal heroes, Harvey Milk, who served in the Navy during the Korean War and then became the first openly gay elected official in California when he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977.

The USNS Harvey Milk is the second ship in the Navy’s John Lewis class of fleet replenishment oilers, all of which will be named after notable civil rights leaders and activists. 

Jhonatan Mujica, a model from Donostia-San Sebastián Spain, is a single, smoldering man who now lives in London.

Would you hit it? Yes or No.

Bobservations

As we were getting ready to go see the doctor about Carlos’ surgery, I ran across an online article reminding me that the _____ Administration is seeking to make it legal for health care professionals to deny services to LGBQ+ Americans because God Hates Fags.

I, naturally, was instantly apprehensive about the doctor who likes to hand out Bibles. Then, at the office I saw that the receptionist is a woman with whom I used to work, and she knew me, and she knew Carlos, so I felt a little better; a little better. When the nurse called Carlos, we went back to the exam room where she took his vitals; as she was taking his blood pressure Carlos said:

“This is my husband, Bob.”

She said, 

“Oh … Hello.”

I said, 

“Uh oh.”

She got very curt and stiff and then … she asked where we lived before Smallville and when we said Miami she began chattering; she asked where I was from originally, and then said she’d just been to San Diego; she talked to Carlos in Spanish, and then laughed when I said I know mostly the profane parts of that language.

She couldn’t have been nicer; as was the doctor, too, and the nurse who came in to schedule the surgery and give us some information. She told Carlos that after the surgery he wasn’t to pick up anything that weighed more than ten pounds for the first several days, and then she said:

“And I always tell people, don’t even vacuum, because that’s really bad.”

Before Carlos could say a word, I said:

“He doesn’t vacuum now.”

And we all, well, except Carlos, laughed. And all was fine in Smallville. Nothing to worry about.

This week  Bernie Sanders said he’ll cut back on the number of campaign events he does after suffering a heart attack.

I wish Bernie no harm, but if campaigning is too hardon his heart what does he think the presidency will do.

Bernie needs to take a seat.

In her first 14 months as Transportation secretary, Elaine Chao, AKA Missus Moscow Mitch, met with officials from Kentucky, which her husband represents in the Senate, vastly more often than those from any other state.

Elaine Chao is the swamp. Get her out of politics and send her husband home, too.

I need a laugh, and a wee cry … the flamboyant confetti comedian Rip Taylor died this week at the age of 84. Taylor made over 2,000 appearances on television during his more than 50 years in show business, but his confetti schtick started as an accident, according to Rip:

“I did props and I was ‘The Prop Comedian.’ I was dying like hell on Merv Griffin’s show. The jokes were dumb, and I tore the 5 by 8 cards, threw them up in the air and it became confetti. I knocked over his desk, walked up the aisle, went to Sardi’s and said, ‘Well, that’s the end of my television career.’ I went home that night. Their switchboard had lit up. They said, ‘Get the guy that went crazy!’ And that is how the confetti started.”

Here’s hoping there’s plenty of confetti in heaven.

RIP Rip

Remember that Trey Gowdy said this in 2012:

"The notion that you can withhold information and documents from Congress no matter whether you are the party in power or not in power is wrong. Respect for the rule of law must mean something, irrespective of the vicissitudes of political cycles."

And yet in 2019 he’s gonna help _____ withhold information and documents from Congress.

GOP hypocrisy at work, but  then it’s Trey Gowdy so are we really surprised.

Ellen DeGeneres has a new friend, and it’s causing her some angst, because many people, including me, don’t understand it. It seems DeGeneres and George W. Bush were seen hanging out together and people were quick to smack Ellen for it; and she responded:

 “Here’s the thing: I’m friends with George Bush. In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think that we’ve forgotten that that’s okay.... Just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna be friends with them. When I say, ‘Be kind to one another,’ I don’t mean only the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone. It doesn’t matter.”

Um, Ellen, you’re hanging with a man who ran a presidential campaign on the idea that you, and me, and countless others, should not be allowed to marry; who played up the notion that if you and Portia were allowed to marry it would ruin everything for everyone. And he has never apologized for it.

You can be kind, but you don’t have to be buddies.

Just a thought.

The other day in a Tuesday Thought, I mentioned that Maine Senator Susan Collins called _____’s calls for China to investigate Joe Biden “inappropriate” and how she would quickly change her mind to goose-step along with Hair Furor.

And then she did this: at a Senate Appropriations Committee meeting this week Collins voted against an amendment to stop _____ from raiding funds meant for the military and military families across the world in order to fund his border wall.

Yes, Susan Collins is slapping our military members, and their families, in the face, just to stay in _____’s good graces.

She certainly can bend over, can’t she?

Oh, Nabil Taleb. He’s tall dark and handsome; he’s sultry; he’s tall. He’s French. He looks good briefly, he looks good wet.

What’s not to love?

The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder,Deb Milbrath, Matt Wuerker, Jim Morin, Darrin Bell, Nick Anderson, Kevin Siers, Drew Sheneman, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Steve Sack, Adam Zyglis

The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, John Cole, Adam Zyglis, David Fitzsimmons, Jim Morin, Darrin Bell, Jack Ohman, Mike Luckovich, Ed Hall, Bill Day

Another Denizen of the Swamp

What is Elaine Chao hiding? _____’s Secretary of Transportation and wife of McTurtle, has claimed 300 hours of “private” time during her first 14 months as a Cabinet member.

The thought is that Cho really isn’t working, or working that hard, or purposefully trying to hide from the public what she’s doing as secretary of transportation, as she normally fills up her Friday afternoon schedules with “private time” meetings. Or, perhaps she’s just following the lead of the boss, who doesn’t start his day as President of the F**king United States until 11AM.

Chao’s office insists the “private” time blocks listed on her calendar are used to conceal her travel plans for security reasons … or maybe she’s just spending time with friends and her chinless, spineless husband since he really hasn’t done anything in decades.

Here’s one day in the life of Elaine Chao, swamp dweller, working for you and on your dime:

On Feb. 9, 2018, Chao’s schedule noted “private” meetings at 9AM, 9:45AM, 10AM, 10:30AM, 11AM, 2PM, and 5PM, with the only public entry for the entire day being a 30-minute phone call from 10 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. And that followed February 8, when Chao’s entire afternoon had been blocked out with “private” appointments.

So from noon on February 8 until the end of the workday on February 9, Chao logged exactly 30 minutes of non-private time.

Swamp.