I Didn't Say It ...

Ted Cruz, Texas senator and expert on masculinity … hold for laughter … on liberal men being unable to sexually satisfy a woman:

“How many radical leftists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s not funny! The left is so mad! They’re so unhappy! They’re so pissed off! And by way, if you were a liberal woman and you had to sleep with those weenies, you’d be pissed too. So respond with joy, have fun. Too many Republicans run around like they’ve got a stick somewhere it doesn’t belong.”

This from a man who allowed Thing 45 to call his wife ugly and his response was to throw his support behind the bully.

I bet Mrs. Cruz snipped off a little Teddy weenie.

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Stephen Colbert, The Late Show Host, on Faux Christians in this country:

“If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.”

You cannot call yourself a Christian and then not act like one because everyone, including your 'god,' sees it.

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Brit Hume, proving his ignorance on Climate Change:

“Given the world situation we face now, with threats coming from multiple directions, climate change is a distraction. Climate change—worrying about climate change is almost a luxury. These are old fashioned threats that come from, you know, world powers that wish us ill. And, you know, China may say “We’ll be competitors and we won’t be adversaries,” or the rest of it. I think China is an adversary. I think Russia is, too. And I certainly think Iran is. And those threats are more immediate and more urgent than any threat that I think that climate change poses. So, let’s just hope that the administration, you know, doesn’t get too carried away with this. I was a little disturbed to see John Kerry at the table there today, our climate czar, because, you know, he thinks that’s job one and I guess for him it is. But I don’t think in terms of our national defense posture it’s anywhere near job one.” 

Hey Brit, the climate fails and the earth fails and everything dies, so nothing else matters. China won’t be an issue when the planet dies; or Russia or Iran and Iraq and North Korea. And so what is there to ‘defend’ if everything has been destroyed?

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Jodie Foster, actor,  on who she is, what people think of her and what life is like today:

“My philosophy is what people say about me is none of my business. I am who I am and what I do. Expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life easier. We live in a world where funerals are more important than dead, marriage is more important than love and looks are more important than the soul. We live in a packaging culture that despises content. "

That last line is everything.

I LOVE her.

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Andrew Scott, actor, on how acting helped “emancipate” him from shame around being gay:

“I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself [as a gay man], but it doesn’t take much to go back there—something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, ‘You’ve got a wife?’ You could go, ‘No, I don’t,’ or is that sort of a lie by omission? When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident.”

I know this feeling, though I, too, have been emancipated from the so-called ‘shame.’ Every so often a client will be chatting with me and notice my wedding ring and ask what my wife’s ring looks like, and I always say:

“I don’t know what my wife’s ring looks like, but my husband’s looks just like this.”

And there you have it, I just came out ... again!

It’s baby steps, coming out, because the assumption is that you’re straight because most people are straight. I mean, we’ve come out at the grocery store, and the bank, and the local restaurants simply by behaving as a couple, but will still get the “Do you have a wife” question.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Scarlett Johansson, who played Ivanka “Complicit” _____ in that SNL video, on Ivanka:

“I’ve been thinking a lot about Ivanka _____ actually, very recently. I’m sure you saw the interview she did with Gayle King yesterday. It was kind of baffling, I have to say, really baffling. You can’t have it both ways, right? If you take a job as a public advocate, then you must advocate publicly, right? And yesterday, she said something that I found particularly disappointing, which is that the greatest change she was going to make … would be behind closed doors, and nobody would actually know she made this change. I thought to myself, ‘Well, that’s empowering!’ How old-fashioned, this idea that behind a great man is a great woman. What about being in front of that person, or next to that person? ... [It] is so old fashioned and it is so uninspired and actually really cowardly. I can’t imagine how complicated it must be to see your parent in this sudden position that he is in, and know deep down, that it is a position that he never really wanted, and now he is in this position, and he finds himself there and I think it must be — I think as a daughter, someone who looks up to a parental figure like that, it’s a unique and strange thing. But she has the opportunity to really make a big impact, just by being vocal. ... It baffles me, the whole situation baffles me.”

Ivanka wants to sit behind the scenes, doing her little thing without notice, lest she draw attention away from Daddy ... or Jared.

She calls herself a feminist and yet she sits by and does nothing when #PussyGate erupted, and said and did nothing when her father turned back the clocks on women’s rights and sexual harassment in the workplace.

She’s a lap dog ... a Stepford lap dog. And good on Scarlett for calling her out.

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Brit Hume, Fox News talking head, blaming the media for exposing Alabama Governor Robert Bentley’s affair:

“Well, that's the age old adage ... that ‘it's not the original offense that will get you in politics. It is trying to cover it up afterwards that does it.’ And Bentley's case of course, look at what he's done, it's not something that politicians of every stripe haven't done and used to do kind of with abandon 30 or 40 years ago and people didn't—a long time ago, people didn't cover it. Journalists didn't cover it, and they never admitted it, and it never came to light. But this is a new age and a new atmosphere when it comes to dealing with women, particularly women who may be your subordinates. And in this new age, you simply don't get away with that kind of stuff anymore, and Bentley's fall from grace is further proof of that. "

Um, Brit, you tool? When a Bible thumping anti-same-sex marriage, family values politician cheats on his wife for years and then uses public money to cover it up, the story should be told.

The story wasn’t about the cheating, it was about the cover-up and the stealing of public funds to do so, ass.

But you sit right there in the Rich White Boy’s Club and whine about it, you f**k.

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Oscar Munoz, United CEO, in a memo to employees after a passenger was dragged off one of their flights:

“Like you, I was upset to see and hear about what happened last night aboard United Express Flight 3411 ... While the facts and circumstances are still evolving, especially with respect to why this customer defied Chicago Aviation Security Officers the way he did, to give you a clearer picture of what transpired ... As you will read, this situation was unfortunately compounded when one of the passengers we politely asked to deplane refused and it became necessary to contact Chicago Aviation Security Officers to help. Our employees followed established procedures for dealing with situations like this. While I deeply regret this situation arose, I also emphatically stand behind all of you, and I want to commend you for continuing to go above and beyond to ensure we fly right. I do, however, believe there are lessons we can learn from this experience, and we are taking a close look at the circumstances surrounding this incident. Treating our customers and each other with respect and dignity is at the core of who we are, and we must always remember this no matter how challenging the situation.”

“Treating our customers and each other with respect and dignity is at the core of who we are”? Really Oscar?

Dragging a paying customer off a flight that you overbooked to make room for your employees to be able to get to Louisville to work another flight is respect?

Buh-buy, asshat.

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Oscar Munoz, United Airlines CEO, trying the apology again:

"The truly horrific event that occurred on this flight has elicited many responses from all of us: outrage, anger, disappointment.  I share all of those sentiments, and one above all: my deepest apologies for what happened. Like you, I continue to be disturbed by what happened on this flight and I deeply apologize to the customer forcibly removed and to all the customers aboard.   No one should ever be mistreated this way. I want you to know that we take full responsibility and we will work to make it right. It’s never too late to do the right thing. I have committed to our customers and our employees that we are going to fix what’s broken so this never happens again. This will include a thorough review of crew movement, our policies for incentivizing volunteers in these situations, how we handle oversold situations and an examination of how we partner with airport authorities and local law enforcement. We’ll communicate the results of our review by April 30th. I promise you we will do better."

Funny how this apology came the day after United stocks lost $255 million dollars. I mean, if the stock hadn’t fallen, Oscar never would have released a second statement because it’s all, and only, about the coins.

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Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary, apologizing for comparing Syrian President Assad to Hitler and saying “Hitler didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons”:

“I was obviously trying to make a point about the heinous acts that Assad had made against his own people last week, using chemical weapons and gas. Frankly, I mistakenly made an inappropriate and insensitive reference to the Holocaust, for which there is no comparison. And for that I apologize. It was a mistake to do that.”

Look, gassing anyone is vile, be they Assad or Hitler, but never try to say something like, um, “He’s worse than Hitler.”

It doesn’t bode well; and even more troubling is the fact that Spicer couldn’t think of the words “concentration camp” or even “death camps” but chose to call them “holocaust centers.”

And this, coming again from an administration that has been accused again and again of being anti-Semitic, is also disturbing.

I really think it’s time Spicer hung up his hood and cross and stepped off.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Brit Hume, on what it means to be transgender [Hint: he has no f**king clue]:

“This standard by which one becomes transgendered seems to be a little vague and hard to pin down. I mean, are you transgender because you have had surgery to change your sexual makeup, your body parts? Or are you transgendered because you decide at a given moment that you would prefer to be a member of the sex into which you were not born? One might argue that this is, you know, something that the Democrats always … saying Republicans are anti-science. Well, if science and biology is a — science is a determining factor here, you really don’t become transgendered until you had some sort of physical metamorphosis, in which your anatomy is changed. So, Caitlin Jenner for an example, would though she clearly prefers the idea that she is a woman, might not qualify that way. I think it’s very odd to think of the possibility of people with the opposite sex’s body parts taking showers in the locker room of the other sex. It just seems to me to be something that people will find very strange and not welcome.”

What I find strange, and not very welcome, are people like this f**kwad, Brit Hume, discussing transgender persons without doing a single iota of research.

Until you open a book, or talk to a trans person, or a doctor, or a scientist, why don’t you take a seat, Brit, and let the grown-ups talk?

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Bernie Sanders, on [t]Rump backing out of debating him: 

“I would have looooved. Let me just say this. First he said he would do it. Then he said he wouldn’t do it. Then he said he would do it. Then he said he wouldn’t do it. So, I would hope that if he changed his mind four times in two days, change it a fifth time. You know, Trump claims to be a real tough guy, pushes people around. Hey, Donald, come on up. Let’s have a debate about the future of America.”

The best thing I saw about [t]Rump pulling out of the debate was a meme that said no one should be surprised because, for years and years, chickens have been petrified of men named Sanders.

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Barney Frank, on Bernie Sanders:

"The Democratic Party. The party that gave this country its first African-American President; the party that is poised to give this country its first woman nominee of a major party, very likely its first woman President; a party chaired by a Jewish woman; a party which features the first openly gay member of the United States Congress on the party's rules committee; isn't "progressive" enough, or inclusive enough, according to a 75 year old straight white male, who "white flighted" his way out of the most ethnically diverse city in the country, to the whitest state in the northeast United States, and who just passed his 1 year anniversary of declaring himself a member of the party, that he thinks that he is the only fit candidate to be the party's nominee for President. A nomination which if he can't secure it by the ballot, has threatened to secure it by lawsuits, and more than just hinted at violence. Am I getting this right?" 

Well, when you put it that way …

Look, I like Bernie, and I like that Bernie is getting his voice heard, but Bernie does not represent the democratic party as a whole and he needs to realize that.

He also needs to realize when to step aside.

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Trey Pearson, Christian rock star, on coming out as gay:

 “I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where I was taught that my sexual orientation was a matter of choice, and had put all my faith into that. I had never before admitted to myself that I was gay, let alone to anyone else. I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me; so it never was an option for me. I have been suppressing these attractions and feelings since adolescence.  I’ve tried my whole life to be straight. I married a girl, and I even have two beautiful little kids. My daughter, Liv, is six and my son, Beckham, is two. [But] I finally decided to come out because I couldn’t keep trying to be something that I wasn’t. … I realized the only way I was ever going to be my best for [my children] was to be healthy myself.”

And that’s the best lesson to teach your children: love and self-acceptance.

Welcome out, Trey.

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Stacey Dash, Clueless actress and clueless Fox News talking head bimbo, on transgender persons and bathrooms:

“It’s tyranny by the minority. Why do I have to suffer because you can’t decide what you wanna be that day? … It’s your body! So, it’s your decision, right? We all make choices. OK, then go in the bushes. I don’t know what to tell you, but I’m not gonna put my child’s life at risk because you want to change a law,  that you can be comfortable with your beliefs — which means I have to change my beliefs and my rights? No.”

Dash is also promoting a book she “write” that details her years of drug abuse so maybe her lack of a brain that fully functions can be blamed on her past.

Failing hat she should just shut the f**k up.

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