I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Is there still some fallout in Hollywood from The Slap? Perhaps so because, rumor has it, a disagreement, a rather volatile disagreement, about The Slap has caused actor Thandiwe Newton –who was costarring in Magic Mike’s Last Dance as the romantic lead opposite Channing Tatum … lucky bitch—has left the film after getting into it with Tatum about, yes, again, The Slap.

Variety says Thandiwe “stepped down,” with Salma Hayek taking her place, while The Sun claims Thandiwe was fired by Tatum, a producer, after they battled over The Slap which made their working relationship untenable. The Independent reports that Thandiwe denies The Sun’s report, and says she left to “deal with family matters.”

For the record, we know that Thandiwe is Team Slap Deserved while Tatum’s new girlfriend, actor Zoë Kravitz, is clearly Team Slap Wrong, so maybe there’s some truth to the story that Will Smith’s antics are to blame.

UPDATE: New rumors are that Thandiwe Newton is headed to rehab to deal with some issues resulting from the end of her twenty-four-year marriage.

The “Westworld” star had been in London filming the third installment of the series, and was ALLEGEDLY acting bizarrely on set, and production became worried about her health. Her agent flew in from LA to try to smooth things over, but Thandiwe left the set and flew back to the States to hopefully check into a facility.

Hopefully, she gets the help she needs.

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But … speaking of actors walking off films, it appears that actor Frank Langella has also left a production midway through filming, leaving behind a role that needs to be recast. But this is different; no snit about a slap unless it was an inappropriate slap on the ass by Langella.

Apparently there were reports that Langella was being investigated for ALLEGED sexual harassment and inappropriate conduct on set and was subsequently fired from the production.

He was starring in a new horror limited series for Netflix, The Fall of the House Usher, portraying the Usher family patriarch, Roderick. The production was midway through filming the series, and Langella was canned and now all his scenes must be reshot with a new, as yet unnamed actor … preferably one without wandering hands?

It’s been said that Langella had a fondness for lewd jokes and unwanted touching of a female member of the cast, but Netflix is not playing around and as soon as complaints were lodged and investigated, Langella was out.

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Khloé Kardastrophe is a really great mother … no, really … but sometimes she’s just too busy to actually spend time with her kids. See, it seems the “reality star” was caught photoshopping her daughter True into several pictures that she wasn’t originally in, all for the sake of Khloé pretending that her child took a trip with her cousins to Disneyland.

Huh, a reality show star faking reality. Is that a thing now?

Last December, Kim Kardastrophe posted two pictures of her daughter Chicago and Khloé’s daughter True at Disneyland, but True’s likeness seemed more suited to the animatronics at the Hall of Presidents, and people speculated that Kim had faked the photos.

A very savvy TikTok user saw something suspicious and noted that a generic picture of True’s face was Photoshopped onto a body that actually belonged to her other cousin, Stormi Webster, the daughter of Kylie Jenner. Now, the Disneyland pictures are legitimate, though they were taken two months earlier than Kim said.

Wait, a reality show star lied about reality? That’s a thing now, too?

A lot of people jumped onto the comments for the social media pics, and asked why True looked like a sticker, or why Stormi looked like True, and then Khloé “accidentally” admitted to that work of Photoshop:

“Welllppp I fucked this one up. Anyways….. let’s focus on something else Our show airs in a few days.”

Nope. Let’s focus on why you feel the need to Photoshop your child onto the body of your niece so it looks like she was at Disneyland with the family when  she wasn’t. Let’s focus on your need to be in the spotlight badly that you need to lie.

But I guess Khloé has literally Photoshopped  so many faces onto her own melon in real life that no one would notice she Photoshopped a picture of her daughter having fun with her cousins when she was nowhere to be seen.

That’s a thing with reality show stars.

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Ireland Baldwin is on the mend after getting a cosmetic procedure called a “FaceTite.” a minimally invasive form of liposuction where a plastic surgeon makes a few incisions on the lower half of the face and uses radiofrequency waves and lipo to suck out fatty tissue and pull in the skin.

She’s twenty-six.

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Speaking of faces, Simon Cowell has announced that he’s officially done with Botox and fillers. He shared this vital information in an interview with The Sun where the sixty-two-year-old claims his face is filler free, and that his latest look is due to healthy eating, drinking lots of water, and losing weight.

Simon says he realized that his fillers made him “look like something out of a horror film.” Wait, I thought it was his personality that made him seem like a monster.

You be the judge. His face looks lopsided and like it’s slipping off his skull. But that’s just me …

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

According to his representatives sixty-year-old Simon Cowell fell off an electric bike and broke his back:

“Simon had a fall from his bike on Saturday afternoon whilst testing his new electric bike in the courtyard at his house in Malibu with his family.”

Should a sixty-year-old really be riding an electric bike? Or should he be on the couch eating soft cheeses, biscuits and tea?

I kid, but it cannot be that bad because Cowell is expected to film America’s Got Talent first live show since the coronavirus pandemic next week.

Perhaps they’ll let him ride out on an electric bike?

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Justin Hartley, the Hot Guy from This Is Us—the tittle of Hottest Guy always goes to Sterling K. Brown—is going through some real life drama and, as happens, it has spilled over to a Netflix reality show, Selling Sunset, that stars his estranged wife, Chrishell Stause, second from left.

Justin and Chrishell, each a former soap star, were married for two years when, she says, Justin “blindsided her” by filing for divorce. And because she now has a reality show, she can do what we all want to do, and spill the tea nationwide.

Chrishell revealed that she found out that Justin had filed for divorce … wait for it … it’s so millennial … it’s the new age of communication … through a text. Probably with some middle finger emojis.

Justin, who used to be on Passions and The Young and The Restless was previously married to Lindsay Korman [second from right] who was on Passions, Days of Our Lives, All My Children and General Hospital, before was he married Chrishell, who was on The Young and The Restless, Days of Our Lives, and All My Children.

Justin has now moved on to his former The Young and The Restless co-star Sofia Pernas [far right].

He must use soap operas as his personal Tinder.

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For the last several years singer Alicia Keys has been all about going make-up free. But now she is shocked, shocked I say, that her fans are confused her decision to release her own  E.L.F. cosmetics beauty line.

Seriously? You don’t wear makeup because you think people don’t need makeup, but now you wanna sell makeup?

Someone needs coins.

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Kane Brown, the 26-year-old country singer, recently bought 30 acres of land in Tennessee and decided to explore it. Sadly, Kane then proceeded to get lost on his own land, get shot at by someone, and ask the police to come rescue him.

In fact, Kane even posted the story to Facebook before being rescued:

“Someone help! I’m lost… ALL JOKES ASIDE… The real story is I moved into a new house. I own 30 acres of 3000 around me. I told my wife I wanted to go check out the property I’ll be 30 minutes… Thirty minutes turned into three hours it started raining turned dark and dropped to 40 degrees… We used GPS to try and get back but it kept taking us to all these cliffs that u can’t drive a 4 wheeler down and I wasn’t about to leave them.”

Kane called his friend Ryan Upchurch, who lives in the area, but Upchurch got lost with Kane, too.

“I called my last resort… [but] now three turned into five of us lost. He has four other friends riding around … and they start getting shot at. My buddy’s girl who has asthma started then freaking out. We HAD to get her out. So we call the cops. The cops arrive and hear the gun shots and think we are shooting at them. We yell at them and tell them we are not armed and made it out.”

Ryan’s version:

“We ended up finding [Kane] in the woods, because me and my brother, you know, we know how like look for trails recently ridden on and shit like that. So we found him. But we run out of gas. We ran out of cell phone service, too. We got lost in the woods with him… When you’re in pitch black and your eyeballs are open and you can’t even see your hand in front of your face, and you’re on thousands of acres that you’ve never even been on before, it’s kinda hard to find your way out… Just sayin’.”

He should’a listened to Dorothy, who got lost too, though not on her own property, in The Wizard of Oz, when she said:

"Well... I think that it ... That it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em.  And it's that if  I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any farther than my own back yard because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."

Just sayin’, Kane.

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James Hong has more film and TV credits than nearly anyone in Hollywood, yet he still isn’t considered a bona fide “star” and therefore does not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Now, a group of fans is trying to change that for Hong, who has been in everything from Seinfeld … “Cartwright? Four?” … to Big Trouble in Little China and Blade Runner … along with about 600 other projects.

Daniel Dae Kim, Lost and Hawaii Five-0, is on board with getting Hong a star, saying:

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: James Hong deserves a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I’ve already started the nomination process. Who’s with me? #StarForJamesHong.” 

Some 30 people are selected each year to be added to the Walk of Fame, where the creation and installation of a star costs $50,000 and Daniel Dae Kim has already raised more than enough via a GoFundMe.

Seriously, they used to say James Brown was the hardest working man in show business—and he has a star—so surely James Hong should get one!

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It's Snarkurday!

Oh Paltrow ... really? Rumor has it that Gwyneth Paltrow is trying to make GOOP appeal to, um, well, those of us who can’t afford a $2,000 t-shirt; those of us who live in what Paltrow once politely termed “flyover” states—as in states you’d never visit unless there was an emergency landing; those of us she considers “peasants.”

And so, if you aren’t into letting Stanley Steamer clean your hoo-haw, and you aren’t into Barefoot In The Dirt therapy, er, um, Earthing, she is now trying to make fast-food the In Thing.

If you go to Dairy Queen GOOP recommends the “50-calorie fudge bar” and not much else. Chipotle? GOOP says have a bowl, with some brown rice, or “if you’re hungry. Load up on the veggies, skip the dairy, add black beans, and you’re good to go.”

At Wendy’s you can eat “Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad” with no hummus, or, if having a burger—and the Shamers will come for you—at least switch the fries out for a baked potato ... with no sour cream EVER!!!! And try the veggie-heavy sandwich at Subway ... but don’t eat the bread! Throw it away!

Look, here’s the deal, Gwyneth Paltrow is a spoiled self-entitled rich bitch who thinks she knows what’s best for everyone ... at least everyone with a substantial bank account. She did not go to any one of these places and try the food; she no doubt had testers that were ordered to try the food but don’t swallow ... if you want to keep you job.

Paltrow and Fast Food is like _____ and the Truth; they have never met.

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That Woman is on a rampage to restore her crap-fest “reality” show to its former glory now that the ratings are in freefall. But what can she do? Kim cannot get robbed again? Kanye cannot get any crazier? Should the drunken ex-husband come back into the fold? Should one of the younger ones get pregnant? What does a FameWhoring Mother do when her children don’t make sex tapes she can sell?

She turns to her newest trainwreck, Rob and Blac Chyna, and tries to get them back together if only for the sake of the show; let ‘em crash and burn for ratings like a normal family.

And, in order to do that, That Woman is hurling some coins at Blac Chyna ... and since Chyna is used to having coins tossed her way, or dollar bills slipped into her g-string, she’s on-board.

See, now that the KUWTK ratings are down, That Woman needs ... neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds ... Rob and Chyna’s show, Rob & Chyna, to be the hit she so desperately craves because, you know, she doesn’t have a job other than whoring out her kids; so she offered to cut Chyna a child support check.

Oh, not to support the child she had with Rob; no, silly, these coins are for the child Chyna had with Rob’s sister’s ex-boyfriend, Tyga, who, for some reason, cannot afford child support. And That Woman will cut the checks only as long as Chyna stays with Rob and works on their show.

Gosh, with Mother’s Day coming up, I now know who should get top honors ...

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Janet Jackson has always been secretive about her life; she even got married, and divorced, twice, with nary a word about it. Then, earlier this year, she announced she was with child, had the baby at fifty and then divorced her billionaire husband, Wissam Al Mana.

There were some who thought Janet waited to have that baby knowing that her coins from the prenup would double if she had a child, but that might not be true ... except it is. And so now Wissam is coming out to dish about the Missus.

Wissam went to his website, because that’s what one does, to give some snark about Janet in the form a few cryptic passages from the Quran:

“You shall most certainly be tried in your possessions and in your persons; and indeed you shall hear many hurtful things from those to whom revelation was granted before your time, as well as from those who have come to ascribe divinity to other beings beside Allah. But if you remain patient in adversity and conscious of Him—this, behold, is something to set one’s heart upon.”

Sounds like Wissam is coming for Janet.

Where is my bucket of popcorn?

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Apparently being the daughter of a multimillionaire media tycoon isn’t enough to save you from financial dire straits.

Tori Spelling.

It appears that the IRS—tired of waiting for a check—has emptied the bank accounts of Spelling and her adulterer husband Dean Something-Or-Other.

Last July, it was reported that the couple—who had their fifth child in March—were slammed with a federal tax lien for $707,487.30 in unpaid federal taxes for 2014. And then Something-Or-Other’s—quick Google search reveals the deadbeats last name is McDermott—ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, threatened him with jail over unpaid child support and Dean sobbed to the court that he and the Missus have, ahem, “fallen on hard times.”

And that might be true, because in November 2016, the couple was sued by American Express over an unpaid credit-card balance of $87,595.55; AMEX sued them earlier in year over a $37,981.97 bill.

So what do Tori and Dean do? Well, their tried to turn their lives, and this fifth child, the Band-Aid baby they created in the hopes of salvaging their marriage and their bank accounts, into a reality show but, yeah, no one is buying.

Perhaps when she goes to jail she can turn that into a show? Tori and Dean In The Big House While Their Children Live With Nana?

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Mel B’s huge bust-up with ex-husband Stephen Belafonte was ALLEGEDLY sparked by his accusation that she had slept with ... get ready to huuuuurl ...Simon Cowell.

And that’s what started the fight that ended their marriage because, after Belafonte made those allegations, as Mel prepared for the talent show’s final in December 2014, she ended up missing the first night of the two-parter due to an ALLEGED drug overdose. But she was back the next night—with bruises on her face and arms—and hiding the fact that she had been accused of having an affair with Cowell.

But it wasn’t just Cowell, Belafonte was jealous of, it was also fellow judge Cheryl Cole; Belafonte ALLEGEDLY lost his temper backstage after Mel playfully grabbed Cheryl’s rear-end and walked into her dressing room wearing next to nothing. Mel subsequently filed for divorce from Belafonte and won a restraining order against him.

I’ve a feeling it’s only going to get uglier, but can it get uglier than someone thinking you’re cheating with Simon Man-Boobs Cowell?

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Poor Tommy Mottola; he was married for a short time to  über diva Mariah Carey, and he probably thought that was insane. But his current wife, Mexican superstar Thalia, is ALLEGEDLY giving Carey a run for the title.

Thalia is being sued over a 20-year deal with EDF Brands to license products in her native country after the company accused her of skipping promotional duties and charged them $120,000 for travel, which is way beyond the bounds of their contract.

For a two-day trip for a product launch, Thalia ALLEGEDLY demanded a private plane from New York to Mexico City for $65,000, hotel rooms for $15,000, security for $25,000, hair and makeup for $6,000 and a stylist for $10,000.

However, unlike Carey, she didn’t ask for money to have someone carry her through the hotel lobby like a giant stripper rag-doll, so, yeah, there’s that.

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On Tuesday we learned that basketball player, and, well, player, Carmelo and La La Anthony’s marriage of seven years is over because, ALLEGEDLY, Carmelo got a stripper pregnant and, funny thing, a lot of wives don’t like that.

And so, even though the couple signed a prenup, get ready for Cash Battles when the pair files for divorce. He has a $124 million contract with the Knicks and has earned more than $200 million during his career; he also has contracts with Nike Jordan and Foot Locker.

Now, that’s some bank, right there and even though the couple has a prenup, rumor has it that, like most premarital contracts, there’s a cheating clause and so this pregnant stripper business could mean a big pay out for La La if she decides to challenge the prenup.

I see a lot of extra zeros on the check Carmelo will be writing to La La.

Just sayin’.

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Recently, at the premiere of Clive Davis’ documentary, “The Soundtrack of Our Lives,” legends like Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick and Barry Manilow took the stage to perform, but it was Carly Simon who was the standout ... though not in the way one might think.

It seems Carly performed a cringe-worthy  rendition of “Coming Around Again,” in a mash-up with ... wait for it ... it’s crazy ... “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” while flanked by a group of small children doing the nursery rhyme hand gestures.

One attendee wailed:

“Why is this happening?”

Someone else cried:

“This sounded a lot better when we were high in the ’70s.”

But apparently Simon has performed the song mash-up for years and no one has told her to stop ... so I will: Stop.

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You know, when you’re Lea Michele and you were once the It Girl on a hit show like Glee and then followed it up with the role of Not It girl on not hit show Scream Queens, you need to get some attention. And what better way to do that than to announce to the world which famous women you’d hook-up with:

“I was just talking to Brad Goreski, who I love the most, and I was like, ‘Brad, if you were gonna be with a girl, who would you be with?’ He said Scarlett Johansson, and I stopped for a minute and was like, ‘Oh my God, I think me too. Also, Penélope Cruz, but I’ve been told that she kind of looks like me, so I don’t know what that says about me — that I’m narcissistic?!”

Yes, that’s exactly what it says; it also says you have a giant ego is you think you look anything like Penélope Cruz. But then she goes further and compares herself to ... I can hardly say it ... my head is pounding ... Cher:

 “It’s just gonna be me in bed with gay people and I’m gonna be alone forever like Cher, and that’s totally fine by me. That’s just the story of my f—kin’ life, all right.”

Stop, Lea, sit down. You are not Cher; on your best day you are not Cher on her worst day.

Stop; then go away.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Kirstie Alley is back on her diet, y’all! Lock up the Frigidaire!

I mean seriously, how many times have we heard this before? She was on Jenny Craig, and lost a lot of weight for money, but then gained it back and jenny dumped her.

Then she was Dancing with the Stars and lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back.

Then she said she was gonna lose weight through her own weight-loss brand, Organic Liaison, but she only gained a lot moiré weight before she lost any; then Organic Liaison was exposed as a front for Scientology elixirs and vitamins, and Kirstie eventually paid $130,000 to settle a suit brought by a dissatisfied customer which may or may not have been Kirstie herself.

But now she’s back with Jenny Craig again. Kirstie says that she only wants to lose about 20 or 30 more pounds.

Until she gains them again and tries out from Dancing with the All-Stars. Again.

Then comes up with her own diet juice. Again.

So, Gaga. I know, but sometimes I just gotta.

It seems she needs so much control over her image that she is asking paparazzi to Photoshop their pictures of her, or else no pictures.

After appearing at the Roseland Ballroom last week, Gaga did the pap-walk outside, but once inside only one photographer was allowed to take the “official” photos, and Gaga worked with him to only release the photos that had been retouched and had the Gaga Seal of Approval.

And other photographers covering another event last week had to agree to give Gaga final approval of their images could be released. Gaga asked that they “smooth out her jaw line and thin her arm,” and “smooth out and thin her legs,” according to one insider.

Kevin Mazur, the Wireimage/Getty photographer who was the “official” photographer last week, admits he retouched his images and that Gaga’s management team had final approval; he actually removed drops of sweat — apparently Gaga does not perspire — and erased an errant lock of hair or a shiny patch on Gaga’s forehead.

So, when you see any pictures of Gaga realize that, as ridiculous as she looks in the picture, she looked far worse in real life.

It looks like Kim and Kanye’s Vogue cover is selling reasonably well. The issue may sell between 300,000 to 400,000, which is about what Beyoncé’s March cover sold, and Kimye’s cover will sell more than Michelle Obama’s April cover.

So, everything’s coming up Kimye, right? Not so fast. It seems that Kanye and Kim’s over-the-top plans for a Parisian wedding have taken a big hit because Kim does not live there.

The fame-whoring couple learned last week that French law requires a 40-day residency requirement before the wedding, and since they planned on shooting the wedding for TV—because it’s what fame-whores, or children of That Woman, do—on May 24, they’re cutting it very close.

A Kardashian source — That Woman — says, “Kim and Kanye were unaware until recently that France required a residency requirement prior to the marriage. Kanye has an apartment in Paris, but he doesn’t live there full-time.”

And this snafu has changed the course of Kanye’s Ego-Thumping Yeezus world tour, because now he will postpone his Australian tour — which had originally been scheduled for the weeks before the May 24 event — until the fall. Kanye said he made the switch to give himself more time to work on his upcoming studio album, due later this year, but that doesn’t seem right; it seems more like he’s taking his ass to Paris so as not to upset Kash Kow’s TV schedule.

After all, she’s a big Vogue star now.

Miley Cyrus says she is “one of the biggest feminists in the world” now because, well, let’s have her tell you:

 “I’m just about equality, period. It’s not like, I’m a woman, women should be in charge! I just want there to be equality for everybody. I still don’t think we’re there 100 percent. I mean, guy rappers grab their crotch all f—ing day and have hos around them, but no one talks about it. But if I grab my crotch and I have hot model bitches around me, I’m degrading women? I’m a woman–I should be able to have girls around me! But I’m part of the evolution of that. I hope.”

Oh, hot model bitches and grabbing your crotch are the new signs of feminism?

Someone should’a told that to Gloria Steinem back in the day, and someone should tell Miley to take a seat because she sounds exhaustingly self-involved.

It must suck to be a former TV star, eh, Jennie Garth?

It seems the former ‘90291′ star got her designer panties in a bunch this week when she went to DBA, a club in Hollywood, and wasn’t allowed inside the doors.

Garth called racism saying the club refused her and her party entrance because her make friends were black, but the club has a different, truer, story.

Jennie Garth was denied entrance because she was asked to stand with the reg’lar folk in the reg’lar folk line and so, of course, she played the “Don’t you know who I am?” card.

She ain’t Shannon Doherty, is all I’m saying, cuz that bitch would’a stabbed her way inside the club.

But Jennie was turned away and, rather than wait with the reg’lar folk, she flipped the bird and cried as she left.

I guess that 90210 cred is over?

Remember Kate Mulgrew? She played the first female captain on one of those Star Trek TV reboot knock-offs in the 80s and 90s?

Apparently, though, science, or maybe just reading, weren’t her strong suit. See, Mulgrew, who now appears on Orange Is The New Black, recently narrated a documentary called The Principle about geocentrism and according to the trailer for the documentary — again narrated by Mulgrew — Galileo was wrong about the whole “earth circles the sun" business.

No, according to the documentary, the Earth is a special place that is the center of the universe and is the only planet with forms of life on it and the Sun actually revolves around the Earth.

Welcome back … to the 1300s! But, when the crazy talk hit the fan, Mulgrew announced that she was only a voice for hire, a check is a check and she would’ve never taken the job if she had known what it was for:

“I understand there has been some controversy about my participation in a documentary called The Principle. Let me assure everyone that I completely agree with the eminent physicist Lawrence Krauss, who was himself misrepresented in the film, and who has written a succinct rebuttal in SLATE. I am not a geocentrist, nor am I in any way a proponent of geocentrism. More importantly, I do not subscribe to anything Robert Sungenis has written regarding science and history and, had I known of his involvement, would most certainly have avoided this documentary. I was a voice for hire, and a misinformed one, at that. I apologize for any confusion that my voice on this trailer may have caused.”

Funny, though, that she read the script and said the words and cashed the check, but now that crazy is being released she’s playing dumb.

Or dumber, I guess.

Back to Kanye. He’s apparently so proud that his sperm shot inside Kim’s vagina and made a baby that he’s written a rap about it … called “I Won” in which he says:

‘I made it over NBA, NFL players. So every time I score it’s like the Super Bowl.’

Clearly, he’s talking about being able to make a baby with a woman who was married for a literal hot-minute to basketball player Kris Humphries, and had another relationship with football player Reggie Bush.  But he’s also singing about that giant ring he gave her:

‘I put that glacier on your little hand, now that’s the only thing without a tan.’

And then delves right into Kim’s nether regions with a reference to baby North SouthEastWest:

‘You grew up on J. Lo, Timberlands by Manolo now, till one day I put an angel in your ultra sound.’

Wow. Isn’t it romant — oops, I threw up a little.

Okay, a lot.

Remember when Simon Cowell banged his best friend’s wife while the couple was still married and she got pregnant and dumped her husband to bear a baby paycheck for Cowell?

Apparently he feels pretty torn up about all that, but at the same time…. he doesn’t:

“I regret [banging my friend’s wife]. But then of course you have a baby and you look at the baby and you kinda go ‘this is what happened from it.’ In this situation you are not going to come out of this well because of the circumstances. It is not something I am proud of or wanted to happen in terms of hurting anyone. It just happened. You have to deal with it and man up to it. You have to accept the responsibility and the criticism. All I can say is, my advice to you is if it happens to you, you just have to deal with it a day at a time and own up to your responsibilities.”

So, in a nutshell, Simon Says it’s okay to bang your best friend’s wife while they’re still married if you make a baby.

A few weeks back we talked Katherine Heigl trying to use Kickstarter to fund a film to star Katherine Heigl. She said she couldn’t put her own money in it, because she has a family and they need to eat, so maybe y’all could pay for the movie.

But you didn’t; good for you.

Now, though, it appears she may have a new source of funding, that old standby: the lawsuit.

It seems Heigl was photographed after shopping at drugstore Duane Reed, and the company Tweeted the paparazzi photo with this caption:

“Love a quick #DuaneReade run? Even @KatieHeigl can’t resist shopping #NYC’s favorite drugstore.”

Heigl, who doesn’t have a contract to promote Duane Reade could have released a statement calling them out on the Tweet, but then how would she make any money?

Oh yeah, by suing them for $6 million dollars. Heigl claims she’ll donate the money to her animal charity, but I think that’s what she calls her family so ….

Yeah.