In Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It was never lost on anyone that it seemed weird that Sex and the City never had at least one Black friend—and Jennifer Hudson, as Carrie’s assistant, doesn’t count—but now, some twenty-three years after its premiere, the producers, including SJP, have finally noticed there are people of color in New York City.

You.Don’t.Say. Yes, I do, because now Nicole Ari Parker has been added to the reboot and it’s being reported that her character will fill the vacancy left by Kim Cattrall who has had enough of SJP and left the building.

The reboot, entitled And Just Like That… so no one shrieks, “Oh my god, not another sequel to this crap,” is currently shooting in NYC with SJP, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, and Nicole Ari Parker, playing Carrie Bradshaw’s new best friend, documentary-maker Lisa Todd Wexley.

Somewhere Kim Cattrall is reading this news and saying, “Meh.”

Just like the rest of us.

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Prince Harry fancies himself an environmental activist, even appearing … again … with Oprah Winfrey on her Apple TV+ series The Me You Can’t See to talk about an issue he is passionate about: climate change.

Nice, Harry, but then please explain why you took a rich friend’s private jet from Aspen to Santa Barbara playing in a charity polo match.

Charity good, private jet bad, Harry.

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In the latter part of the last century, actress Brett Butler was making millions from her hit sitcom Grace Under Fire based on her own life and stand-up comedy act. Trouble was, Butler had addiction issues, boundary issues—she allegedly bared her breasts to a twelve-year-old boy—and was difficult on set. Things got worse when Butler became addicted to Vicodin—which a doctor prescribed for sciatica—and began butting heads with the show’s creator Chuck Lorre—who would later have the same types of issues with Charlie Sheen on the set of Two and a Half Men. As Brett battled addiction, the show’s ratings fell and cast members began quitting. The show was canceled, and Brett left Hollywood to live on a farm in Rome, Georgia, until losing that to foreclosure.

She returned to Hollywood, ready to start her career over again, and is using GoFundMe to ask her fans to help her out even though she earned some $25 million from Grace. In the last decade she was cast on Sheen’s Anger Management for 38 episodes, did a few episodes of The Young and the Restless, appeared on The Leftovers, How To Get Away With Murder, The Walking Dead, and The Morning Show. She generally gets paid over the guild minimum and sometimes makes $5,000 for a one-day shoot, but doesn’t work that often, and, you know, it’s hard out there for a former millionaire and Butler struggles to pay her $2500-a-month rent and so is down to the social media money beg.

Sorry, hon, but you seem to think you’re owed something. And you aren’t. I remember when former Cosby Show actor Geoffrey Owens, who was struggling to make ends meet after the show ended, didn’t head to GoFundMe to have the public pay his bills but took a job at a Southern California Trader Joe’s. Maybe they’re hiring Brett …

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Kanye has recently filed papers with a California court to have his name legally changed from Kanye Omari West to … Ye.

I think he should change his name to ‘Who’.

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And speaking of Kardastrophe-adjacent folks, leave it to Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott to prove themselves tone-deaf … again.

Stormi Webster, the three-year-old love child of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, expressed an interest in how poor people get to school, her dad surprised her with a school bus of her own so she could experience what normal people do. And because Kardastrophe-adjacent people live on social media, Kylie shared Stormi’s shock-and-awe at the bus in her Instagram Stories.

I guess it’s lucky Stormi didn’t express an interest in rocket ships because then she’d be circling the globe about now.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I don’t watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey because they’re the garbage bag of trash in the franchise, even lower than the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

That said, I did see that epic table flip by Teresa ‘Mob Wife With a Two head Instead of a Forehead’ Giudice in season one where she screeched at her enemy, now BFF, Danielle Staub:

“Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 19 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” 

Now they gotta rewrite the line, because Staub, who married the 20th man to propose to her last year, and then divorced him about ten minutes after the ceremony, is engaged now for the 21st time and set to marry husband #5.

Just one week after her seven-week marriage—for the love of god, Kim Kardastrophe was married longer than that once—to Marty Caffrey officially ended, Danielle said “Yassssss” to an ALLEGED rich man—hence the enthusiastic YASSSSSS—named Olivier Maier.

Maier is also the Duke of Provence so when they marry, she will be the Duchess, and when the divorce she’ll be on the hunt for fiancée 22 and marriage #5.

Set your watches for this train wreck; the wedding is next week.

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Now, y’all know when one Kardastrophe does something, and then gets a Special Episode of that show, then sooner or later another comes along singing the same song.

Cue the least talented member of that untalented Klan, Kylie Jenner, whose BFF Jordyn Woods, was the one who slept with Khloe’s Baby Daddy and serial cheater, Tristan Thompson, who is next  in line for the next cheating scandal.

Yep, even though Kylie Jenner is already in the center of Khloe and Jordyn’s drama, the family has decided to rachet up the messiness by ALLEGING that Kylie’s boyfriend and Baby Daddy Travis Scott is a cheater, too.

On Wednesday Travis wanted to surprise Kylie and their 1-year-old daughter Stormi by coming to LA to spend some time with them. But as soon as Travis arrived, Kylie discovered “evidence” that led her to believe he’s a cheater just like Khloe’s ex Tristan Thompson and … roll cameras!

Their heated argument lasted a couple of days, apparently, so long that Travis was forced to cancel a show because he was, ahem, “under the weather” AKA “under the thumb” of That Woman who probably had the fight filmed for TV.

Oooh, I smell a spin-off, especially since Kylie’s only talent is bad choices in men and not understanding contraception.

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Last year, Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a lovely royal wedding at Windsor Castle surrounded by lots of her friends, including Priyanka Chopra. And Priyanka rode that BFF With Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex for all it was worth, but maybe she rode it too hard?

It seems that when Priyanka suddenly became engaged to Nick Jonas and they went on to have … I think … five weddings and a dozen or so receptions around the world, Meghan didn’t attend once single event. And then, when Meghan came to New York two weeks ago for a baby shower with her best girlfriends, Priyanka was a no-show.

Now, she was invited, but declined to attend because she was, ahem, “working,” which might be code for ‘You didn’t come to my wedding, er, weddings, with all your paparazzi and media attention, so I can’t come to your party.’

And so now we’re told that Priyanka is mad at Meghan and skipped Meg’s baby shower on purpose, suing the “bogged down in LA with meetings about a book she is writing” excuse.

Oh Priyanka, you never snub a royal, because now you just might permanently be scrubbed off Meghan’s Friend’s List and you and Nick will never get to post selfies from Inside Buckingham Palace.

And we all know how thirsty you are for that.

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Oh Mel B. I guess your sex, drugs, and ménage à trois rehab is over and now you need a new way to keep your name in the news.

It seems Mel appeared on Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan and said the Lady Gaga Bradley Cooper performance of ‘Shallow’ on the Oscars, made her feel “uncomfortable”. I mean, in Mel B’s world, drug and drink parties with threesomes with the nanny are fine, but Gaga and Bradley crooning into the same microphone is just icky?

Mel and Piers turned into a couple of gossipy hens on the show:; she said: 

“See, I felt so uncomfortable for Bradley’s girlfriend, oh my gosh.”

And he said: 

"It was the look of love, wasn’t it?”

And she added: 

“It really was and that’s the whole gossip. That’s the whole thing. But I would like to think it was part of the whole performance, because there’s a women’s code and hopefully that’s not … hopefully it’s only professional.”

Seriously, the woman who paid a nanny to watch her kids and schtup her husband , and then join  the two of them in bed, thinks that song performance was bad?

Oh Mel, like Priyanka, you are thirsty for press. Maybe it’s time for a relapse.

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Rumor has it that Johnny Depp is broke…because of divorces, bad investments and living like he’s a king when he’s not. So, that may explain this …

It appears that Depp has filed a $500 million lawsuit against his ex-wife Amber Heard, claiming that her claims of domestic abuse were “an elaborate hoax to generate positive publicity” for herself …because saying publicly that your husband gets rip roaring drunk and beats the crap out of you is a career move … in Johnny Depp’s head.

But there’s more; Johnny also claims that Amber began an affair with Elon Musk a month after they were married, and that Elon was at their house, creeping in and out of the penthouse elevator, the night he and Amber got into a fight over a postnuptial agreement. Johnny says that fight led to Amber throwing a vodka bottle at him, which resulted in him having to have his finger “surgically reattached”.

Yes, Johnny wants to reopen his divorce case because he doesn’t like the way it ended, and he’s giving all sorts of new lies details about it. But it's cuz he’s broke and needs the coins and only $500 million will do. 

Until it gets tossed out of court and he comes back next year to claim Amber cheated with ET in a Tesla sent into space and he wants $500 billion.

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Show of hands … who’s surprised by this one …

Kailah Casillas, a now former Lohan Beach Club “ambassador”—code for call girl, maybe—was recently fired from her post for giving Lindsay some sass while the “staff”—code for call girls—were  being lectured to by Lindsay about tidiness.

Show of hands? Who thinks Lindsay Lohan, one of the hottest messes in all the land knows shiz about tidiness? Anyway, after Casillas was fired, on air because, you know, drama, she lashed out at Lohan by shrieking:

“Continue doing all the drugs you do, Lindsay.”

On the show, Lohan brushed off Casillas’ comments, claiming the reality star was just throwing her past in her face, while at the same time she brushed off her nose …ALLEGEDLY … but Casillas is now saying she witnessed a lot of “uncomfortable” and “awkward” behavior from Lohan since day one:

“It kind of slipped. I can’t say that I saw anything, because I’m really not trying to get myself in trouble, but I can say that from my own personal opinion, I do not think that she was sober whatsoever.”

Ah, so there you have it, she wants to claim Lindsay’s still doing drugs while saying she’s never seen it, and has no proof, but because she’s a reformed druggie she knows the signs.

Sounds like Lindsay hired a bunch of Lohan clones for her, um, “reality” show. Maybe they’ll start a gang and steal jewelry from high end boutiques like their boss.

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