The Funny Papers

Bill Bramhall, Dennis Goris, Rick McKee, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Gary Huck, Chris Britt, Max Espinoza, Nick Anderson, Adam Zyglis, Pedro X Molina,

I Didn't Say It ...

Elena Kagan, US Supreme Court Justice on the ruling regarding the Voting Rights Act:

“The Voting Rights Act … was born of the literal blood of Union soldiers and civil rights marchers. In ushered in awe-inspiring change, bringing this Nation closer to fulfilling the ideals of democracy and racial equality. And it has been repeatedly, and overwhelmingly, reauthorized by the people’s representatives in Congress … I dissent, then, from this latest chapter in the majority’s now completed demolition of the Voting Rights Act.”

How simple is this: make voting easier and fair for all Americans regardless of color or gender or age or sexual orientation.

Voting by anyone eligible to vote should be the easiest fucking thing to do.

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Rick Wilson, political strategist, pundit and author, on Cankles’ newest push for the ballroom:

“As America’s economy teeters on the brink due to [his] insane tariffs, calamitous war with Iran, and his deeply incompetent Administration, I think I speak for the majority of Americans when I say FUCK YOUR BALLROOM.”

Seriously,  this is akin to Marie Antoinette and her “let them eat cake” remark. Americans can’t afford food or gas or healthcare or energy bills and this regime wants to build a $300 million ballroom because a diaper-wearing, racist, rapist, predator, con artist has a fragile ego?

Fuck that.

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Don Lemon, journalist best known for being a host on CNN, on the right pushing the idea that dangerous political rhetoric is coming from the left:

“I cannot say with a straight face that Democrats saying [Cankles] is terrible for this country is the same thing as [Cankles] standing in front of a crowd on January 6th and telling them to march to the capitol and fight like hell. I cannot say those things are equivalent because they are not. I am so sick of false equivalence. It drives me fucking crazy because that is bullshit. Because these things are not equivalent.”

No one on the left has celebrated the death of other politicians or celebrities; no one on the left has mocked the disabled in front of a crowd; no one on the left has called for destroying an entire civilization.

All we are saying is, ahem, FUCK TRUMP.:

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Jimmy Kimmel, responding to Melanie and Cankles ‘ calling for him to  be fired … again:

“It was five days ago. It was a pretend roast. I said, ‘Our First Lady, [Melanie’s] here. Look at her, so beautiful. [Melanie] you have a glow like an expectant widow’—which was obviously a joke about their age difference and the look of joy we see on her face every time they’re together. It was a very light roast joke about that fact that he’s almost 80 and she’s younger than I am [Melanie is 56]. It was not, by any stretch of the definition, a call to assassination. And they know that.”

Melanie is still riding the wave of bad reviews from her “documentary” and bad reviews from her incredibly awkward White House press conference on Epstein and now her idiotic tone-deaf reaction to a joke from BEFORE Correspondent’s Dinner.

Take a seat Melanie; why not put your architecture degree … hold for laughter … to good use and design and build a changing station for Cankles’ “accidents; that’s needed more than any ballroom.

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Melanie Stansbury, Democrat Representative for New Mexico, on the irony of King Charles reminding us of democracy:

“Imagine getting in a time machine and going back to 1776 and telling the Founding Fathers that the King would be one day reminding America about the importance of democracy and our checks and balances. That is the timeline we’re living in.”

The King has to remind a US president what America was founded on and stands for because the president is a drug addled narcissist.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Barack Obama, My President, on the historic election in Hungary this week:

“The victory of the opposition in Hungary yesterday, like the Polish election in 2023, is a victory for democracy, not just in Europe but around the world. Most of all, it’s a testament to the resilience and determination of the Hungarian people—and a reminder to all of us to keep striving for fairness, equality and the rule of law.”

Perhaps the tide against asshats like Cankles and Putin and Orban and their ilk is finally changing because We The People are voting it out.

Learn from this America.

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Ana Navarro, political commentator and co-host of The View, on Melanie’s little speech:

“This is the same woman who was front and center spreading the birtherism conspiracies against Barack Obama. If she wants to be an ally to those Epstein survivors, she can start by turning to the guy next to her … and telling him to tell his DOJ to release all the Epstein files.”

Like most of the world now Ana sees Melanie as the equal to her husband, looking out for herself above all others. But she’s hard to believe since there are so many lies about her past … her education, her modeling ‘career’ … her speeches …. Her book … her movie.

It’s all illusion and the only one actually buying any of it is Melanie herself.

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Bruce Springsteen, opening his Land of Hope and Dreams tour in Minneapolis last week:

“Good evening Minnesota. Welcome Minneapolis, St. Paul, welcome to the ‘Land of Hope and Dreams’ American Tour. I want to begin the night with a prayer for our men and women in service overseas. We pray for their safe return. The mighty E Street Band is here tonight to call upon a righteous power of art, of music, of rock and roll, in dangerous times. We are here in celebration and defense of our American ideas — democracy, our constitution and our sacred American promise. The America I love, the America that I’ve written about for 50 years that has been a beacon of hope and liberty around the world is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent, racist, reckless and treasonous administration. Tonight we ask all of you to join with us in choosing hope over fear, democracy over authoritarianism, the rule of law over lawlessness, ethics over unbridled corruption, resistance over complacency, unity over division, and peace over war.”

It’s part concert, part revival, and part protest; it’s The Resistance set to music.

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Jimmy Kimmel, taking on Cankles for being “blindsided” by Melanie’s surprise Epstein announcement:

“There was a big surprise from the White House today [when Melanie] emerged from the rubble of the East Wing. She brushed the drywall off her business suit and delivered a doozy of a prepared statement demanding that we stop talking about something no one was talking about … Because I’m just now hearing about these lies. Can you give me like a minute to catch up? You know somewhere in the White House, [Cankles] saw this happening. He spit out a whole gallon of Diet Coke! This is already better than her movie. Go on, please [although] why is this happening today? [Cankles] spent the past six weeks trying to bomb this Epstein story out of the headlines. Two days after the ceasefire, she puts it right back on top … She must really hate him. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

I said it before; she’s making a play for a bigger cut of the pie; this was her opening shot and if he renegotiates her “fee” she’ll change her tune.

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Bobservations

The past couple of Mondays we’ve had some wild weather here in South Carolina. Last week we had heavy rains and tornado watches and I had to be at work, So I told Carlos to leave the weather reports on and if it gets bad and a tornado is close he needs to gathers the cats, his phone and charger, and some water and get into our master bedroom closet which is at the center of the house.

Luckily all we got was heavy rain and some high winds but no tornadoes in South Carolina.

This past Monday we got the same story but I was off work this week. Still, I reminded Carlos … cats, phone, water, closet. And we barely got a drizzle of rain and no really high winds.

Yesterday morning, I’m getting ready for work and I hear a siren go off in the distant, a long, sustained moan. I race from the back of the house out to the living shouting “Cats! Phone! Water!!” and find Carlos putting down his trumpet and looking around in shock.

That damn trump gave me tornado siren vibes and so I punished Carlos by putting him in the closet with the cats and NO phone. That’ll teach him!

The Great Tuxedo still has a lot left to say and he still has a place to say it.

Kathie Lee Gifford has said she doesn’t  like the LGBTQIA+ community using too many letters in its title:

“I don’t even know how many letters there are now. They’ve really got to stop with that.”

Listen,. Grandma, I don’t need some self-identifying straight white Christian woman telling me or anyone else in my community how we can or can, should or shouldn’t identify.

Gifford claims to have more gay friends that straight friends but then she sure loves to tell us how to live our lives.

Siddown.

JD Vance took time out from making sweet love to a love seat to tell us that the rising gas prices because of the war in Iran are, yes, Joe Biden’s fault:

“All of this conversation happens where Joe Biden left us in a terrible situation, and the reason why gas prices are where they are today is because of [Cankles’] work to get them lower, because the Biden administration, they were crazy high.”

So let me get this straight: When gas prices go up under Cankles, it’s Biden’s fault and when they go down under Cankles it’s his genius?

Anyone wanna tell Couchfucker that Biden has been out of office for fifteen months and gas prices went up just last week.

At the Oscars Jimmy Kimmel’s joke about Melanie’s “documentary” sent the regime into a tizzy attacking Kimmel’s family after he said:

"There are also documentaries where you walk around the White House trying on shoes."

Within hours, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung posted a rant:

“[Kimmel] is a classless hack who is self-projecting his depression and sadness onto others. [He] lives a pathetic existence where nobody, not even his family, enjoys his miserable company."

That's the official White House communications director … posting that … from his government account … about a shoe joke.

We’re at war and this has the regime pissed off.

Speaking of Cankles’ War, he asked several countries to send war ships to the Strait of Hormuz and, well, it didn’t go as he’d hoped:

France said No! China didn’t pick up the phone. The United kingdom said it was “discussing its options” but made no commitment. Japan also didn’t respond. South Korea declined. Germany said Nein. Norway basically laughed and went back to living their good life.

Still, this nonsense begs the question: why does Cankles need help in a war that he said he's already won?

Chief Justice John Roberts defended the Supreme Court against a barrage of attacks that Cankles unleashed against the court for striking down the core of his pivotal tariff policy:

“Personally directed hostility is dangerous and it’s got to stop.”

Hey Johnny, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you rightwingnuts on the court give him free rein to do what he wanted? And then he did it and you voted against it and now he’s mad?

He’s a monster criminal grifter rapist that the Supreme Court created so check yourself in a mirror asshat, this is on you.

Now, after all this serious stuff, let’s have a laugh … Melanie spoke at a Women’s History month gathering and said this:

“As a visionary, I know success is not born overnight, but rather, takes shape after a long, and sometimes challenging process. Often alone at the top, I follow my passion, listen to my instinct, and always maintain a laser focus. In solitude, my creative mind dances—filling my imagination with originality. Attention to detail, demanding schedules, and multi-tasking are everyday realities when building towards success. This principle resonates across all my roles: as a mother, humanitarian, philanthropist, and entrepreneur. As well as with my new film, where I shaped its creative direction, served as producer, managed post-production, and activated the marketing campaign. Curiosity is a core value that keeps me ahead of the curve. Curiosity begets knowledge, opening doors to ideas and industries that I may have otherwise overlooked. This unrestricted mindset has led me to build across very different sectors: fashion, digital assets, publishing, accessories, skincare, commercial television, and of course, filmmaking.”

Clearly narcissism and delusion are family traits.

Pau Ramis is a Spanish model  with blue-green eyes and who stands at 6’2” which is all very nice, but Would You Hit It?

I Didn't Say It ...

Micayla Pretti, Alex Pretti’s sister, on his murder by ICEstapo agents:

“Alex was kind, generous, and had a way of lighting up every room he walked into. He was incredibly intelligent and deeply passionate, and he made people feel safe. But most importantly, he was my brother. I had the privilege of being his little sister for 32 years. I will never be able to hug him, laugh with him, or cry to him again because of those thugs—and that is a pain no words can fully capture. Alex always wanted to make a difference in this world, and it’s devastating that he won’t be here to witness the impact he was making. Through his work at the VA caring for the sickest patients, and passion to advance cancer research, he touched more lives than he probably ever realized. All Alex ever wanted was to help someone—anyone. Even in his very last moments on this earth, he was simply trying to do just that. I want to thank everyone who has reached out to my family and me, whether you knew Alex personally or not. The messages, posts, and overwhelming positivity shared about him truly reflect his character, work ethic, and passions. My brother is, and always will be, my hero. When does this end? How many more innocent lives must be lost before we say enough? Hearing disgusting lies spread about my brother is absolutely gut-wrenching, and my family is deeply grateful so many people have stood up and helped tell his truth. He would be very proud.”

We all should start acting like Alex and Renee and if more and more of us stand up, fewer and fewer of us will be shot dead in the streets by paid government thugs.

Rest in power, Alex

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Joe Biden, former president, on the murder of Alex Pretti and the ICEstapo:

“What has unfolded in Minneapolis this past month betrays our most basic values as Americans. We are not a nation that guns down our citizens in the street. We are not a nation that allows our citizens to be brutalized for exercising their constitutional rights. We are not a nation that tramples the 4th Amendment and tolerates our neighbors being terrorized. The people of Minnesota have stood strong—helping community members in unimaginable circumstances, speaking out against injustice when they see it, and holding our government accountable to the people. Minnesotans have reminded us all what it is to be American, and they have suffered enough at the hands of this Administration. Violence and terror have no place in the United States of America, especially when it’s our own government targeting American citizens. No single person can destroy what America stands for and believes in, not even a President, if we—all of America—stand up and speak out. We know who we are. It’s time to show the world. More importantly, it’s time to show ourselves. Now, justice requires full, fair, and transparent investigations into the deaths of the two Americans who lost their lives in the city they called home. Jill and I are sending strength to the families and communities who love Alex Pretti and Renee Good as we all mourn their senseless deaths.”

Be like Joe. Stand up and speak up or more Americans will die at the hands of Cankles, Miller, Patel and Noem.

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Glenn Close, actor,  incinerates Cankles in the wake of Alex Pretti's murder:

"Since what happened again in Minneapolis, I just feel compelled to say something, so I've actually written something that I'm going to read. I have been mostly out of the U.S. since this past September, so I've watched for the rest of the world, our democracy being systematically disemboweled and torn apart, along with the institutions which in the near past, though never perfect, have stabilized our society and supported the American people. I am outraged and sickened by what is happening under the Trump regime, the cruelty, inhumanity, and arrogance, the voracious corruption, the cowardice, the sickening hypocrisy, the blatant manipulation of facts, and now the cold-blooded murder of American citizens. I have felt for a long time that there are thousands and thousands of American citizens with cellars full of guns [and] I fear that ICE is giving them the excuse to pull the trigger. Humans, our conflicted species, since we ventured out of the caves, we have been tribal, territorial, and violent. The United States of America has been tribal, territorial, and violent from the very beginning. Democracy is the most idealistic and ambitious form of government because it demands that all individuals participate for the good of everyone, for society. E pluribus unum, out of many, one. Never perfect because we are imperfect, but at its core, the idea that all of us are created equal and have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness was revolutionary when it was conceived, and it still is. Not the pursuit of enemies or the pursuit of great riches that means the impoverishment of others, but of happiness. Democracy demands compromise, but compromise doesn't mean to sell out for personal gain or revenge. I feel, I sense, from over here that the great American body politic is stirring, waking up, and taking in what's going on, what the Trump regime is attempting to do to our beloved country and its citizens. It is waking up and taking note, and mark my words, there will be hell to pay."

I sure hope America is waking up; if the senseless murders to two Americans shot dead in their own hometowns by the government doesn’t wake people up I don’t know what will.

We can save America from this fascist hate-filled but only if we stand together and reject it as one.

Sidenote: there are those who say celebrities should not speak politically but, like all Americans, it is their right to do so. Close is speaking as a citizen and American and a human being disgusted by what this regime is doing to the United States.

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John Curtis, Republican Senator from Utah, rips into Kristi Noem for her despicable comments about murder victim Alex Pretti:

"You’ve trusted me, and maintaining that trust matters. I’ve worked hard to be your eyes, ears, and voice. We must have a transparent, independent investigation into the Minnesota shooting, and those responsible—no matter their title—must be held accountable. Officials who rush to judgment before all the facts are known undermine public trust and the law-enforcement mission. I disagree with Secretary Noem’s premature DHS response, which came before all the facts were known and weakened confidence. I will be working with a bipartisan group of senators to demand real oversight and transparency, including supporting calls … for leaders of these operations to testify, so trust can be restored and justice served."

We need to shine a light on this intentional coverup of two murders by the Cankles Regime. Kristi DogKiller falsely accused Alex Pretti of plotting a "massacre" of law enforcement and engaging in "domestic terrorism" Stephen Pee Wee German Miller echoed those sentiments.

Tall without one shred of evidence and notice that when the truth was revealed, that Alex Pretti never brandished a gun, both DogKiller and Pee Wee started blaming each other.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democrat Representative from New York, on the hypocrisy of the Cankles Regime attacking Alex Pretti while it praises armed right-wing protesters:

“How rich is it that [Noem] is saying [that] showing up to the scene of a protest with a legally owned weapon should be grounds for a person’s death, execution at the hands of the state, by the same party and the same administration that praises Kyle Rittenhouse? When she is talking about how merely showing up and inciting violence based on ideology against the government, when this administration has pardoned hundreds of January 6th rioters who have then gone out into the streets and recommitted crimes of violence over and over again. What Secretary Noem is saying is not that you can’t do these things, is not that you can’t be armed, is not that you can’t attack your government. She just thinks that you can’t do that based on your political affiliation. The uncorking of chaos that this administration is trying to attempt against the American people is escalatory, it is dangerous and it is a complete abdication of leadership. We cannot go down this road. We cannot have countrymen against countrymen, citizen against citizen. This is not the America that we believe in. It is not the America that we stand in and we must unite together against this kind of very dangerous splintering that they are seeking to incite against people and divide us.”

Interesting now is that Noem is saying … wait for it, how does she NAZI how this sounds … she was just following orders from Miller and Cankles.

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Jimmy Kimmel, late night talk show host, on the murders of Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti:

“I spent the weekend—like probably a lot of you did—looking at my phone and just feeling shocked and sick about what is happening in Minneapolis. One video after another. Screaming people being torn from their families, Americans—people who were born in the United States—being pulled out of their cars for the crime of having an accent or whatever, children—small children, babies—being tear-gassed, taken into custody, separated from their parents. Just one atrocity after another being committed by this gang of poorly-trained, shamefully-led, mask-wearing goons. And that is what they are—they’re goons committing vile, heartless, and even criminal acts. And it’s sickening to watch, and it’s frustrating to watch. It’s like we’re all being forced to play a game that has no rules. They just make up the rules as they go along. We see these videos—in which we clearly see one of our fellow Americans executed by ICE—and they won’t even admit that it was a mistake! They say the Honda SUV Renee Good was driving was 'weaponized,' they say the gun Alex Pretti had a license to carry in an open carry state—a right many of these same people screamed very loud about when it was Kyle Rittenhouse carrying the gun—a gun that Alex Pretti did not even draw, did not touch, a gun that was taken from him by one of the agents before he was shot dead by the other ones. They fired 10 times onto an ICU nurse, they’re telling us, ‘well, it was justified, you know?’ Is that the law and order that you voted for, if you voted for this? Every day is a nightmare now. My wife and I have family in Minneapolis. They’re afraid to take their kids to school. They’re afraid to go to work. And I can only imagine how people who aren’t white feel about this! How does this end? What’s the plan here? Is the plan to just keep doing this in every city that didn’t vote for [him]? Does anyone on any side believe this is good leadership? We keep saying we need to find subjects that we can agree on. Can we agree that peaceful protestors—including moms driving SUVs on their way back after dropping their six-year-old off at school and a nurse who stepped in to protect a woman from harm—don’t deserve to be shot dead in the street by the people we are paying to protect us? Can we agree on that? Can we agree that when we see a person murdered in cold blood, that there should at least be an investigation of that? And that our ironically titled ‘Head of Homeland Security’ has the responsibility to get facts before telling us that what we saw, we did not see? If we can’t agree on that, forget it then. Let’s cut the bullshit already. If that was ISIS, instead of ICE, we’d be firing missiles at somebody and pledging allegiance to the flag all together right now. Watch that video, watch every angle, as upsetting as it might be, and decide for yourself if that’s making America great. And if it isn’t, please say something about it. And if our leaders aren’t even trying to reduce the amount of chaos in the street rather than exacerbating it, if our leaders are intentionally creating and encouraging violence and fear, then I hope you will also agree, we need new leaders. Because these are not leaders. And to the people of Minneapolis—to the Pretti family and the Good family and these people who were looking out for their neighbors, we want you to know that we are with you and you are not alone”

We are not alone, but we need to put our phones down and raise our voices and cast our votes and stand against the murderers in the White House and in our government.

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Amanda Gorman, National Youth Poet Laureate, composed two powerful poems for Alex Pretti and Renee Nicole Good after their murders at the hands of Cankles’ and Noem’s ICEstapo:

For Alex Jeffrey Pretti

"    We wake with

no words, just woe

    & wound. Our own country shoot

    ing us in the back is not just brutal

    ity; it’s jarring betrayal; not enforcement,

    but execution. A message: Love your people & you

    will die. Yet our greatest threat isn’t the outsiders

    among us, but those among us who never look

within. Fear not the those without papers, but those

without conscience. Know that to care intensively,

united, is to carry both pain-dark horror for today

& a profound, daring hope for tomorrow. We can feel

we have nothing to give, & still be love this world wait

ing, trembling to change. If we cannot find words, may

we find the will; if we ever lose hope, may we never lose our

humanity.

The only undying thing is mercy, the courage to open

    ourselves like doors, hug our neighbor,

    & save one more bright, impossible life.”

 

For Renee Nicole Good

"They say she is no more,

That there her absence roars,

Blood-blown like a rose.

Iced wheels flinched and froze.

Now, bare riot of candles,

Dark fury of flowers,

Pure howling of hymns.

If for us she arose,

Somewhere, in the pitched deep of our grief, 

Crouches our power,

The howl where we begin,

Straining upon the edge of the crooked crater,

Of the worst of what we've been.

Change is only possible,

& all the greater, 

When the labour

& bitter anger of our neighbors

Is moved by the love

& better nature of our angels.

What they call death & void,

We know as breath & void;

In the end, gorgeously

Endures our enormity.

You could believe departed to be the dawn

When the blank night has so long stood.

But our bright-fled angels will never fully be gone,

When they forever are so fiercely Good."

She’s speaking for, and to, all of us.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Billy & Janice Crystal, Albert & Kimberly Brooks, Martin Short, Alan & Robin Zweibel, Larry David & Ashley Underwood, Marc Shaiman & Lou Mirabal, Barry & Diana Levinson, James Costos & Michael Smith, on the loss of Rob and Michele Reiner:

“Going to the movies in a dark theater filled with strangers having a common experience, laughing, crying, screaming in fear, or watching an intense drama unfold is still an unforgettable thrill. Tell us a story audiences demand of us. Absorbing all he had learned from his father Carl and his mentor Norman Lear, Rob Reiner not only was a great comic actor, he became a master storyteller. There is no other director who has his range. From comedy to drama to ‘mockumentary’ to documentary he was always at the top of his game. He charmed audiences. They trusted him. They lined up to see his films. His comedic touch was beyond compare, his love of getting the music of the dialogue just right, and his sharpening of the edge of a drama was simply elegant. For the actors, he loved them. For the writers he made them better. His greatest gift was freedom. If you had an idea, he listened, he brought you into the process. They always felt they were working as a team. To be in his hands as a film maker was a privilege but that is only part of his legacy. Rob was also a passionate, brave citizen, who not only cared for this country he loved, he did everything he could to make it better and with his loving wife Michele, he had the perfect partner. Strong and determined, Michele and Rob Reiner devoted a great deal of their lives for the betterment of our fellow citizens... They were a special force together—dynamic, unselfish and inspiring. We were their friends, and we will miss them forever. There is a line from one of Rob’s favorite films, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life,’ ‘Each man’s life touches so many other lives, and when he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?’ You have no idea.”

I don’t know why these deaths hit me so hard; I know neither one of these people. But I think they fought a good fight for all of us, stood up to the worst of us, to try to make the world better for us.

And perhaps we should all be doing more of that.

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Zohran Mamdani, Mayor of New York Cityin response to the shooting at Brown University:

“Two people were killed this evening at Brown University by a gunman who remains at large. Eight others are injured, fighting for their lives in a nearby hospital. This senseless violence—once considered unfathomable—has become nauseatingly normal to all of us across our nation. Tonight, on the eve of the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, we find ourselves in mourning once again. The epidemic of gun violence stretches across America. We reckon with it when we step into our houses of worship and out onto our streets, when we drop our children off at kindergarten and when we fear if those children, now grown, will be safe on campus. But unlike so many other epidemics, we possess the cure. We have the power to eradicate this suffering from our lives if we so choose. I send my deepest condolences to the families of the victims, and to the Brown and Providence communities, who are wrestling with a grief that will feel familiar to far too many others. May we never allow ourselves to grow numb to this pain, and let us rededicate ourselves to the enduring work of ending the scourge of gun violence in our nation.”

Perhaps we should be like Australia, where their mass shooting was not done with assault weapons for if it had been many more would be dead or injured.

Let’s end the United States of Guns and start with assault weapons and vote out any politician who utters that bull shit line, “Now is not the time.”

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Jack Smith, attorney who has served in the United States Department of Justice, in his opening statement before the House Judiciary Committee, during a private deposition:

“Our investigation developed proof beyond a reasonable doubt that [Cankles] engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election and to prevent the lawful transfer of power. I made my decisions in the investigation without regard to [Cankles] political association, activities, beliefs or candidacy in the 2024 presidential election. We took actions based on that the facts and the law required—the very lesson I learned early in my career as a prosecutor.”

Okay, so then let’s vote out the GOP and let the Democrats get back to the business of punishing a traitorous criminal for what he tried to do, and is doing now, to this country.

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Jimmy Kimmel, talk show host and friend of Rob & Michele Reiner:

“I know from my personal interactions with Rob Reiner that he would want us to keep pointing out the loathsome atrocities that continue to ooze out of this sick and irresponsible man’s mouth. So we’re going to do that over and over again until the rest of us wake up.”

Be like Rob and Michele and stand up for America before there is no America left to stand for.

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Jon Stewart, comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, political commentator and host of The Daily Show, on Cankles’ real constituents:

“For those of you who were wondering, during this delightful first year of his presidency, who the ‘you’ was that he was going to work so tirelessly for it turns out he is for you, if you are a personal friend, if you donated a lot of money, or if you enriched his meme coin businesses, or you enriched his son’s crypto coin businesses, or of you beat up police officers on his behalf, or if you bought him a plane, or if you probably promised not to reveal anything incriminating about him. Those are the yous it turns out he was for. And if you’re one of those yous, life’s pretty sweet. But for the rest of us, we’re on the outside. And I can only guess what the view is that we’re going to enjoy.”

He isn’t for you, at all. And neither is the GOP.

Vote them all out.

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