I Didn't Say It ...

Jamaal Bowman, Democrat Representative from New York, on Nimrata Haley’s “finish them” autograph on an Israeli bomb:

“Nikki Haley is disgusting. She’s a disgusting human being to do that. That’s genocidal language and it’s the language that has the American people turning against our government. Why do we continue to support not just the consistent attacks in Gaza, but the forever wars? There are people in our country, their entire lives, me included, it seems like we’re constantly at war with someone spending trillions, killing millions, while people are suffering and starving and dying right here in our country.”

Nimrata is seemingly trying to out-pig Kristi Noem, but they are both equally disgusting and gun and bomb happy.

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Jesse Watters, Fox host, on the hush money trial of Hair Furor:

“This whole case is a joke. If you’re running a media conglomerate, if you’re running a hotel chain, running these companies all over the world, in Muslim countries, in Europe and Asia, anything that’s bad news for you personally is bad for the brand. And you’re a billionaire and you have this coming out in the middle of nowhere? Forget about protecting your family. That’s the obvious concern. Secondary concern is the business. You can’t have some porn star extorting you. A hundred and thirty grand is nothing for Donald Trump. You pay that. It’s nuisance. Make it go away. That’s common sense.”

First off, Jesse, you moron; this isn’t about paying off a porn star so she won’t talk about your tiny mushroom dick.

This is about paying off a porn star so she won’t talk about your tiny mushroom dick because you’re running for president and covering up the money trail.

Plus, even you, as ignorant as you are , don’t believe for a second he was protecting his family! He was protecting his ego and his presidential bid. A man who has been married three times and cheated on all three of his wives doesn’t give a rat’s ass about family, especially when you’re schtupping the porn star while your wife is back at the manse with your infant son.

Oh Jesse, just come out already and admit you wish you were Stormy in that hotel room.

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Michael Fanone, American law enforcement analyst, author, and retired Metropolitan Police Department officer, who defended the capitol on January 6:

“This election is about [Hair Furor] and his vision for the office of the President, not as a public servant, but as an authoritarian who answers to and serves only himself.”

Listen. He speaks the truth.

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Inmate # P01135809,, honoring our military men and women who lost their lives in service to America:

“Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, [Hair Furor] Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before [a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!], 91 MILLION DOLLARS for ‘DEFAMATION.’ She didn’t know when the so-called event took place—sometime in the 1990’s—never filed a police report, didn’t have to produce the ‘dress’ that she threatened me with [it showed negative!], & sung my praises in the first half of her CNN Interview with Alison Cooper, but changed her tune in the second half—Gee, I wonder why [UNDER APPEAL!]? The Rape charge was dropped by a jury! Or Arthur Engoron, the N.Y. State Wacko Judge who fined me almost 500 Million Dollars [UNDER APPEAL] for DOING NOTHING WRONG, used a Statute that has never been used before, gave me NO JURY, Mar-a-Lago at $18,000,000—Now Now for Merchan!” 

He said he didn't rape E. Jean Carroll because "she's not my type."

She has a dress with male DNA on it but he refuses to have his DNA tested.

Yeah, nothing to see here except a desperate, near illiterate word salad.

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Stephen Colbert, joking … or is he:

“[Hair Furor’s] minions aren’t being subtle about their authoritarian plans if [he] wins the next election. [Hair Furor] shared a video on social media that referenced a ‘unified Reich’ if he’s elected. Evidently, MAGA now stands for ‘Make America Germany Around 1938’!”

Truth in humor. Listen.

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Melinda Gates, in a New York Times op-ed:

“Many years ago, I received this piece of advice: ‘Set your own agenda, or someone else will set it for you.’ I’ve carried those words with me ever since. That’s why, next week, I will leave the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, of which I was a co-founder almost 25 years ago, to open a new chapter in my philanthropy. To begin, I am announcing $1 billion in new spending over the next two years for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States. Despite the pressing need, only about 2 percent of charitable giving in the United States goes to organizations focused on women and girls, and only about half a percentage point goes to organizations focused on women of color specifically. When we allow this cause to go so chronically underfunded, we all pay the cost. As shocking as it is to contemplate, my 1-year-old granddaughter may grow up with fewer rights than I had.”

Why is it the ex-wives of billionaires are more philanthropic with their billions after the divorce? Is it because their ex-husbands believe their size of bank account is directly correlated to the size of their penis?

Just wondering …

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

As usual, it’s taken Jennifer Lopez about a nano-second to end one relationship and then start another, but the shocking thing this time is she’s gone back to old fiancé, Ben Affleck.

Yes, people, Bennifer–who split in 2004–is back together and, depending on who you ask it was either just a sudden case of ‘I forgot how much I loved you’ or a month’s long plan in JLo’s mind before she sent A-Rod packing.

Leave it to JLo to have an escape plan.

Is it true love rekindled, or is it the result of Bennifer talking to one another for months before A-Rod was canned? Did JLo break up because he’s a cheater, and did they try to fix things while JLo was “talking” to Affleck.

Or is it just more media fodder for the girl from the block who craves attention?

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From true love :::coughcough::: to a couple splitting up: Bill and Melinda Gates.

Although they announced their divorce last week, it’s rumored to have been in the works for a very long time. In fact, Melinda consulted with divorce lawyers for about two years before filing for divorce from Bill.

And while the couple hasn’t said what prompted the split, a former employee claims it started with Melinda’s “concern” over Bill’s dealings with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

This thought never crossed my mind, but it certainly did cross the mind of brewella deville of Fort Kickass who called it last week!

Kudos!!

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Even though the Oscars were weeks ago, people are still talking about how Glenn Close lost her eighth shot at the Golden stature, and suddenly, to sone, Glenn Close is a loser. Well, Glenn has some words on that:

“Who in that category is a loser? You’re there, you’re five people honored for the work that you’ve done by your peers. What’s better than that? And I honestly feel that the press likes to have winners and losers. And then they say, ‘Who is the worst dressed?’ And, you know, ‘Who made the worst speech?’ Forget it. It’s not what it’s about. I say, fuck them!”

Y’all better stop playing with Glenn. Remember what she did to that bunny.

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So, one result of the pandemic was finding out that Ellen DeGeneres is not as nice as we were all lead to believe.

After her One-percenter whine about how hard it was to quarantine in one of her many mansions, people began talking about Ellen, and it wasn’t all dancing and giggles. She was called out for being cold and aloof and mean to her employees, and to some guests on her long-running talk show, and three top producers exited the production over ALLEGATIONS of a toxic work environment. For her part, Ellen says:

“When you’re a creative person, you constantly need to be challenged—and as great as this show is, and as fun as it is, it’s just not a challenge anymore.”

I guess the real challenge was trying to revamp her image … back to being nice, and it couldn’t be done. And so, at the end of next season, Ellen is over.

Dance. Off.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The Samantha-less revival of Sex and the City that no one other than Sarah Jessica Parker asked for will be more diverse.

No, seriously. The show will feature three women of color as regulars because, as the creators say, they can’t tell a story with an all-white cast because “it’s not reflective of New York. So they are being very, very conscious about understanding that New York has to reflect the way New York looks today.”

Today? Do they believe people of color only started living in NYC after the second film bombed? Perhaps, so, because they clearly had no problem with an all-white New York City when the show premiered in 1998, though they made a huge step forward when they added Jennifer Hudson, as New York’s only woman of color, in the first film, though JHud moved back to St. Louis so New York was all-white again by the second film.

But today, in 2021, the creators of Sex and the City want you to know that New York City is a more diverse city because they hired three people of color.

Sex and the City. Diversity. Nope.

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The U.S. government is suggesting that Kim Kardastrophe tried to smuggle an ancient Roman sculpture into the country.

The statue was detained at the U.S. border in 2016 after Masterpiece International, a logistics company that worked for Kardastrophe, tried to import it with the wrong documentation, causing Italian authorities to demand its return.

According to court documents, Kardastrophe bought the sculpture, known as Fragment of Myron’s Samian Athena, in 2016 from the Axel Vervoordt Gallery in Belgium, but that the piece was detained when it arrived in LA after authorities were alerted that it might be protected cultural property. Italian officials requested provenance details from Masterpiece International, which provided the sculpture’s sales invoice to Kardastrophe, as well as a previous invoice showing that Vervoordt had purchased the work from Galerie Chenel in Paris in 2012.

But there are discrepancies in the descriptions of the sculpture on the two invoices, with the 2012 statement calling it “a large, draped statue” with provenance from an “Old German Collection, bought before 1980,” and the Kardastrophe invoice describing it as a “fragment,” and containing handwritten notations indicating it had originated from Italy.

Huh, Kimmy sure smells like an ALLEGED art smuggler, but we won’t know for sure because she and Axel Vervoordt aren’t talking.

UPDATE Kimmy says she never purchased the statute and someone must have used her name. Seriously; that’s what she says.

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So, Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing. Yawn. But what is interesting is that Bill apparently transferred $1.8 billion in stocks to Melinda Gates on the day she filed for divorce.

Wow, I remember breaking up with a boyfriend and he said I could take the coffee maker, and I thought that was generous.

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This week Channing Tatum was on The Kelly Clarkson Show and talked about how his body is highly unrealistic and it only looks like that because his job requires him to work out all the time. But he has a plan to stop the constant exercising: become a better actor:

“As someone who works out for a job, I promise you I would not look like this unless I had to be naked in most of my movies mostly. At some point I have to get better at acting so I don’t have to be naked in all of them.”

Um, Channing, we already have a lot of really good actors, so you do you and keep baring that ass in your movies. If I wanna see great acting, I’ll lean toward Anthony Hopkins or DiCaprio or Daniel Day Lewis, and  when I want hot ass, I’ll buy a ticket to anything you’re in.

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