Random Musings

A couple of weekends ago Carlos and I laid tile … and by that I mean we laid tile in the bathroom. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. I wish I had pictures to show, but our computer has decided to stop reading the camera’s picture card and until we buy a new computer — because we need one, not because of this picture snafu — I’ll have to hold off uploading personal pictures.

Anyway, we found some cool 16x16 gray tiles that look like burlap and I thought they’d go well with the man’s pinstriped suit look on the walls, but when it came time to create a pattern I was perplexed. I wanted to set  in even rows, very modern looking, but no matter how I measured we’d end up with small tile at the end of each row and that looked off to me. So, I tried a running bond pattern where the grout lines don’t match up, and this created small sections of tile at the opposite ends of alternating rows, and that was what we, er, I, er, we, picked.

And, for our first tile setting it went quite well. We borrowed a tile saw and, once we learned to run the tile through the saw in the proper direction, it all went rather smooth, though there were some hiccups, like explaining measurements to Carlos. Who knew I would be the Math Master when it came to measurements? Not me!

And so we cut tiles, and mortared the floor, and set tiles, and we were very nearly done when I took a look in the room and said, not so quietly, “F**k.”

The last row of tiles were not laid in a running bond pattern, but set in a regular square pattern, and I told Carlos we’d have to take them up and switch the sides — small tile to the left-side now, and then work backwards to get the running bond pattern.

Carlos, bless his heart, said, “No one will notice, it’s gonna be behind the toilet and under the sink pedestal."

I said, in my best Martha Stewart-Joan Crawford-Adolf Hitler voice, “I’ll notice.”

The tiles were switched. And it does look better. And soon, hopefully, there will be pictures.

A few new hot guys on The Tube this week, starting from the upper left and working clockwise.

Keegan-Michael Key, of USA’s Playing House. Not your classically handsome man, and quite adept at making the funny faces, but there’s something about him on that show that just tickles my funny boner.

Ian Anthony Dale from TNT’s Murder in the First. Smoldering, I say, smoldering. And, of course, with Taye Diggs as the star of the same show, the hotness quotient is quite high.

Last, Omari Hardwick from Starz’ new show, Power. He’s a drug lord trying to get out of the business and, well, he has the finest ass I think I’ve ever seen, and I saw quite a lot of it last Saturday night.

Just sayin’.

Another school shooting in Oregon last week and still we do nothing about gun control — not taking guns, but controlling who has them.

Good for us.

They’re saying the demise of the Tea Party has been greatly exaggerated after ‘Bagger candidate Dave Brat upset rightwingnut incumbent Eric Cantor.

Here’s my take: the Republicans in Virginia were sick and tired of Eric Cantor and just simply voted for the Other Guy. That doesn’t mean the Tea party is on the rise, it just means the Republicans in the state wanted Cantor gone.

We’ll have to see what happens come November, and hopefully the people of Virginia will send Dave Brat packing as well.

Still, it was a joy to see Cantor fall, thus becoming the highest-ranking Republican to lose renomination in one of the most stunning primary defeats in congressional history.

In other primary news, openly gay candidate for Governor of Maine, Mike Michaud is one step closer to becoming the nation's first governor to have been out at the time of his election.

Michaud will face incumbent GOP Governor Paul LePage in the general election and, as of now, the two are in a dead heat.

Fingers crossed.

In the Crazy Category: Mariah Carey made a personal appearance at the St. Regis Hotel in New York this week to announce the release of her new beverage.

Beverage? WTF? But, yeah, Mimi is getting into the beverage game with Butterfly, a carbonated beverage described as a “melodic beverage inspired by the magic of Mariah Carey.”

Side effects are that your boobs balloon up and you begin to wear sequinned dresses three sizes too small.

This made me smile.

When marriage quality became legal in Wisconsin, on the first day of same-sex wedding, police officers in Madison showed up at the courthouse with cakes for the newly married couples.

Gotta love that, eh?

And speaking of Wisconsin — nice segue, eh? — there’s this:

When Milwaukee resident, Christopher Graham and his partner, Andrew Capelle, heard that same-sex marriage was legal in Wisconsin, they hightailed it down to City Hall to make it legal. And., after the ceremony, the two men and some friends went to Transfer Pizzeria & Cafe to celebrate.

And the best part, other than finally being equal in America, was when the bill came and Graham and Capelle learned that the bill for their wedding dinner had been taken care of by the staff at the restaurant.

If I ever get to Milwaukee I know where I’m having pizza!

But, in other receipt news, there’s this:

Amira Gray says she went to Bistro 18, a Washington, DC hookah bar, in August of 2013 with some friends and, after receiving terrible service from the wait staff was shocked to see the name “Gay Bitches” on her receipt.

A friend showed the receipt to the manager, after a picture had been taken, of course, and the manager grabbed it away and returned with one missing the offensive language.

Still, I know where I won’t be going when I head back to DC.

In more crazy news, this is a new trend: short suits.

Fashion folks say it’s the way to beat the heat this summer, while I say it looks like what I wore to Easter services when I was six.

I’ll pass.

And since we began with a Carlos story, before we get to Tweet of the Week, let’s have one more.

Last Thursday Carlos had an appointment to have two wisdom teeth extracted; they had never bothered him before, but now, well, yeah. So, the week before he mentions his dentist appointment and when I ask what it’s for he says “pulling teeth.”

I immediately tell him I’ll take the day off from work and drive him, and he tells me it’ll be fine. I tell him he’s having wisdom teeth pulled and he will not feel like driving himself home, nor will he be able to; so he relented.

Cut to Thursday, I’m sitting in the reception room, waiting, reading In Cold Blood, and finally after about an hour, Carlos comes out. He seems perfectly fine; he says there is hardly any pain, even though he just had a local anesthetic.

Well, whatever. I drive him home and he takes a brief nap, after which he says he still feels fine, but could I make him a bowl of oatmeal. I do, and as he eats it, we are sitting in the living room and he’s trying to tell me, via clenched jaw, that it really doesn’t hurt and that he’ll be going in to work the next day.

I hold my hand up, and bring my fingers down in a ‘Don’t talk’ gesture.

He says, “I’m not supposed to talk after the extraction.”

I say, “You can talk, but you’re bugging me.”

My motto is, and always has been, make ‘em laugh, er, make me laugh.

I Didn't Say It ...

President Barack Obama, on ENDA: 

"As a result, millions of LGBT Americans go to work every day fearing that, without any warning, they could lose their jobs — not because of anything they've done, but simply because of who they are. ... It's offensive. It's wrong. And it needs to stop, because in the United States of America, who you are and who you love should never be a fireable offense. ...  Americans ought to be judged by one thing only in their workplaces: their ability to get their jobs done. Does it make a difference if the firefighter who rescues you is gay -- or the accountant who does your taxes, or the mechanic who fixes your car? If someone works hard every day, does everything he or she is asked, is responsible and trustworthy and a good colleague, that's all that should matter."

It can’t get any simpler.

Roger Ross Williams, openly gay documentarian, and creator of the film God Loves Uganda:

"One of the biggest anti-gay pastors invited me to his house for dinner. And I got there and thought, 'Oh my God, this is an ambush.' The pastors who are fighting the spread of homosexuality were all sitting there, not smiling. They pulled out the e-mail and said, 'We know that you are a homosexual.' I was terrified because I'd watched them hold up Bibles and say, 'This book says these people must be killed.' I was silent. 'But, Roger, we're going to help you, we're going to cure you.' They then just started praying over me."

Roger Ross Williams is still gay, proving, yet again, that it cannot be prayed away.

Kerry Washington, on the rumors that she’s a lesbian: 

“It’s interesting how much people long to fill in the gaps when someone in the public eye doesn’t share their personal life. I understand their frustration. I like how people will post pictures of me with other women that I adore, hugging on red carpets, and say, ‘See?’ Are we so uncomfortable with love between two people of the same gender that we immediately label it as sexual? But I’ve never been bothered by the lesbian rumor. There’s nothing offensive about it, so there’s no reason to be offended.”

Another reason why I just loves me some Kerry Washington.

Rob James-Collier, of Downton Abbey, on whether it's easier to kiss men or women on screen:

"I found [kissing men] easier. The way I was thinking was that if you kiss a girl you worry about: 

1) How big her boyfriend is; 

2) Is he in the building watching and is he going to kick the s**t out of you?; and 

3) What is my missus going to think of it? 

So we went to the BFI for a big unveiling on the cinema screen, and the missus knew [the kiss] was coming, and we were all sitting watching it and I thought 'Nice one, she can't accuse me of anything', and the missus turned to me and said 'You've never kissed me like that'."

Love that story!

Plus, Rob is hot.

Sally Kern, Oklahoma wingnut, homophobe and politician, on the legal marriage of Jason Pickel and Darren Black Bear by the Arapaho Cheyenne tribe:

"I find it kind of sad that this tribe is not willing to recognize what 75 percent of the voters of Oklahoma declared years ago, that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. Those of us who are Christians, who believe the Bible, are we going to have to give that up to satisfy the minority group that wants to redefine marriage...They can love whomever they want, there’s no laws right now that prevents two people of the same sex from living together."

I find it sad that you seek to impose your moronic viewpoint onto everyone else. That tribe understands love ifs love.

You don’t. You lose.

Portia de Rossi, on being a Lesbian:

"I just didn't want to be a lesbian. I'd never met one for a start and I just thought they were strange and that they hated men and they were very serious ... I had these ridiculous images in my head and there were no out celebrities or politicians or anybody that I could look to and go, 'Oh, I could be like that' ... There was nobody that I could say, 'I could date her and I want to be like her' ... I just kind of thought I don't want to live like this. I don't have to, I don't need to, I just shut down the emotional life."

And then came Ellen. 

It’s funny, though, the shame the gay person is made to feel about being gay; the stereotypes of us that we think are real and are the only way to be, when in fact we are just like everyone else, every size and shape and color and gender, except in whom we love.

Mike Michaud, Maine Representative, and candidate for Governor, coming out:

“When I entered the race for governor, I did so because I love the state of Maine and am tired of seeing it dragged in the wrong direction. There was never any question that it would be a tough race, but I know I have the vision, the experience and the commitment to lead Maine forward. … Once I jumped to an early lead in the polls, I knew it was only a matter of time before individuals and organizations intent on re-creating the uncertainty that led to our current governor’s election three years ago would start their attacks. … So I wasn’t surprised to learn about the whisper campaigns, insinuations and push-polls some of the people opposed to my candidacy have been using to raise questions about my personal life. They want people to question whether I am gay. … Allow me to save them the trouble with a simple, honest answer: “Yes I am. But why should it matter?”

It shouldn’t, and hopefully the voters in Maine get that.

And please accept, as a Coming Out present, a cpoy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out!

Eminem, on why he still uses the word "faggot" in his lyrics:

"I don't know how to say this without saying it how I've said it a million times. But that word, those kind of words, when I came up battle-rappin' or whatever, I never really equated those words [to actually mean 'homosexual']...It was more like calling someone a bitch or a punk or a--hole. So that word was just thrown around so freely back then. It goes back to that battle, back and forth in my head, of wanting to feel free to say what I want to say, and then [worrying about] what may or may not affect people. And, not saying it's wrong or it's right, but at this point in my career – man, I say so much s--t that's tongue-in-cheek. I poke fun at other people, myself."

To put it simply: when you know better, you do better.

Eminem doesn’t know any better, and he is no different that the white Southern racist who still uses the N-word because that’s the word he’s grown up using.

You can say you don’t mean it in the way others do, but howsabout not using it at all.

Dumbass.