Jim Obergefell to Kim Davis: You're Not Above The Law

Jim Obergefell, who case at the Supreme Court brought marriage equality to America, has written an open letter to Kentucky County Clerk, and lawbreaker, Kim Davis:

As you may know, when you fall in love with someone, you hand your heart and soul over to them. Anyone who has committed to sharing their life with another human and forming a family unit knows that it is the biggest and most rewarding adventure you will ever take. You know that all of the laughs and all of the tears won’t fall on the echo of an empty room, but will instead be received in the warm embrace of someone who has pledged to see you at your best and love you at your worst. You know that person is there to help pick you up on those days when the odds are stacked against you. You know that you never have to do the dishes alone.

When I met John, I had no idea that I would spend the next two decades building a life with the man who would one day inspire me to demand our right to be recognized by our country. I earned the right to lawfully call him my husband, just as you have a right to call your husband such. Love transcends gender. You’re imposing the same indignities on couples in Rowan County that John and I suffered when Ohio would not legally recognize us as a married couple. Thankfully, the law is now changed so that nobody should ever have to experience the injustice that John and I endured. No one is above the law, Kim, not even you.

I joined the fight to have our love treated equally precisely because our love is equal. The love that any family shares is no more or less worthy than that of any other, and it’s not fair for you, or anyone, to judge. It’s your job to simply do your job. Issuing a marriage license at work is not a personal endorsement of my marriage any more than recording a deed is an endorsement of my home ownership.

It’s simply following the rules in this civil society in which we’ve all agreed to be members. What truly matters is the kindness and compassion we share with our families and with those around us. Love makes a family. And as of June 2015 the federal government agrees. I did not fight for my right to call John my husband in vain. I stand today in his memory and proudly declare him my legally wedded spouse. Do not stand in the way of others seeking their legal right to have their love recognized.

Sincerely,

Jim Obergefell

I imagine Kim is too busy selling her soul to the Devil, who wears red Prada slip-ons and a white gown, to respond.

I Didn't Say It ...

Jim Obergefell, on how he hopes his case — which resulted in marriage equality everywhere — is seen by future generations:

"I would like future law students to know that my case as well as the cases of the other plaintiffs that really it was about love. Telling our government that our love is just as worthy as any other love. The fact that standing up for that love led to such a momentous change proves that it’s a very powerful force. Although the law can be antiseptic and divorced from emotion, the fact that ours was based on love - I think it improved the law because they could look at us and recognize that we deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else."

We didn’t fight because we hate Christians; some of us are Christian.

We didn’t fight to ruin traditional marriage; some of us grew up in houses with traditional marriage as our example.

We didn’t fight because we wanted to destroy anything; we fought because we want to be recognized as equal, to have our love recognized as equal.

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Ted Cruz, proving once again he is unfit for public office:

"Let me do a little psychoanalysis. If you look at Star Trek: The Next Generation, it basically split James T. Kirk into two people. Picard was Kirk’s rational side, and William Riker was his passionate side. I prefer a complete captain. To be effective, you need both heart and mind. The original Star Trek was grittier. Kirk is working class; Picard is an aristocrat. Kirk is a passionate fighter for justice; Picard is a cerebral philosopher. The original Star Trek pressed for racial equality, which was one of its best characteristics, but it did so without sermonizing. I think it is quite likely that Kirk is a Republican and Picard is a Democrat."

Seriously? He spends his time trying to decipher the political leanings of fictional TV characters and he wants to be president? Oy.

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Cory Booker, New Jersey Senator, on the Equality Act:

"Almost 50 years ago, a couple tried to purchase a home in suburban New Jersey in a neighborhood they loved, but found their efforts thwarted when the house they wanted was inexplicably pulled off the market. The couple later learned from fair housing advocates who had investigated on their behalf that the home was made unavailable to them because of their skin color. The couple's names were Cary and Carolyn Booker. They were my parents. You'd think this problem is relegated to the history books. But in 2015 — today — a couple can try to purchase a home and in 31 states be told it is not available to them on the basis of their sexual orientation. More than half a century after the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the federal government has yet to pass a large-scale law that protects Americans from discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It's time for that to change."

Civil rights should be for everyone, and to have to continue this fight — and why it’s a fight I  still don’t know — is just ridiculous. It should be the law that you cannot discriminate. How hard is that?

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Raven-Symoné, criticizing Caitlyn Jenner for her trans advocacy:

“When I came out, I didn’t go hardcore and be like, ‘I’m going to save the world for LGBT!’ You’ve got to learn it first. And she’s not, really. I appreciate all that she’s going to do for the community, I think it’s wonderful. I just am surprised how many girlfriends that she has all of a sudden. I’m so surprised at how much she’s showing these stories all of a sudden. And I’m not faulting you because, yes, we need you, but it felt like, ‘Oh, so now you are, so now you represent … It’s too fast, too soon.”

Bad enough we have straight people bashing the LGBT community, but now we have an L telling a T how she should be acting, and how she should advocate.

Raven, honey? Why don’t you stick to worrying about which hair color to choose today and let people who choose to advocate do the advocating, m’kay? It doesn’t matter how, or when, you come to be an LGBT advocate, it’s a matter of just doing it, and you don’t. Butt hat's your choice.

You rarely mention your sexual orientation and, in fact, the few times I’ve seen you on The View — growing more horrible with the addition  of you as a host — you seem to talk more about the time you dated boys.

Boil it down: Caitlyn Jenner chooses to be an advocate; you choose not to. Sit down. Shut up.

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Caitlyn Jenner, on trans suicide:

“And it’s not because trans people are somehow inherently unstable – it’s because we live in a world that makes it very, very difficult to be trans. Many people, especially kids, can’t see how they can live as their authentic selves and keep their family, their jobs and their homes.”

And, Raven, honey, there you have it. 

Caitlyn Jenner, upon transitioning, learned how serious a problem suicide is in the trans community and is trying to do something to help.

She deserves our attention, Raven-Symoné does not.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Michiel Huisman, of Game of Thrones, on being a sex object:

“I ­always liked that because the roles were reversed. Here’s a woman [the Daenerys Targaryen character on GoT] . . . taking full control over her pleasure, y’know? Telling a man to take off his clothes, where it’s often the other way around. I was happy to be a victim of that.”

I’m happy he likes to be a victim of that whole nekkid on TV stuff.

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Vladimir Putin, telling an Italian newspaper that he cannot recall having ever made a mistake:

"I’ll be totally frank with you. I cannot recollect anything of the kind. It appears that the Lord built my life in a way that I have nothing to regret."

Delusional fuckwad.

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Jim Obergefell, speaking to New York Magazine, about his Supreme Court case for marriage equality:

"It’s incredible to think that my name, John's and my story, is a landmark case that will be in history books. That’s an incredible thing, on an intellectual level. It’s the emotional level where I’m still catching up to that. It just doesn’t seem possible, and it doesn’t seem at all possible that I’m the person at the center of it. Knowing that I wasn’t an activist, and knowing that it all started just because John and I loved each other."

Sometimes being in love, and demanding to be married, is activism.

Love can be activism.

Read Jim and John's story HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.

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Bill Donohue, on Archbishop John Niendstedt's resignation in light of criminal charges being filed against his diocese:

"Ever since Nienstedt criticized the gay movie, Brokeback Mountain, he has been a marked man. The Star Tribune, the St. Cloud Times, Minnesota Public Radio, the New York Times, as well as an array of wayward priests, Catholic journalists, former Catholics, and unethical lawyers, have been out to get him. Just today, Fr. Mike Tegeder said it was a good sign that Nienstedt resigned; Tegeder supports gay marriage. Nienstedt’s sin is that he is an orthodox Catholic. Nienstedt was twice accused of inappropriate touching, and twice the charges proved false. He is a good man who was unfairly treated."

Wait. What? His troubles started when he gave Brokeback Mountain a bad review? And it had nothing to do with him aiding and abetting pedophile priests? And it had nothing to do with the charges of sexual harassment, and misconduct, leveled at Nienstedt by priests he came on to?

Huh.

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Mama Grizzly Bore™, cheering on Donald Trump for President:

“Trump joins a competitive field of GOP candidates that will duke it out in the arena of ideas and track records, a field representing diverse achievements. This, in contrast with the pro-big government party’s practice of merely anointing a chosen one, thus robbing voters of healthy debate.”

Someone wants to be Vice President ... again. Too bad her chances are as good as Trump's and no better than her last failure.

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John Arthur Died ... Legally ... Peacefully ... Married

This one breaks my heart.

I first wrote about John Arthur back in July [HERE and HERE] when he and his partner, Jim Obergefell flew to Maryland via a hospital plane — John had ALS, a progressive neurological disease that robs patients of their ability to walk, talk and eventually breathe — so that they could be legally married before John passed away.

All John wanted was for his death certificate to say he was Jim's husband.

After the wedding, held aboard the plane because of John’s condition, they immediately flew back to Ohio to have their marriage recognized. John and Jim just wanted the world to know that they were a married committed couple, and that they would be buried side-by-side as husband and husband. They decided to sue the state of Ohio.

And in that case U.S. District Judge Timothy Black found in favor of the couple and a second couple that joined the lawsuit. He wrote that they deserved to be treated with respect and that Ohio law historically has recognized out-of-state marriages as valid as long as they were legal where they took place, citing marriages between cousins and those involving minors:

"How then can Ohio, especially given the historical status of Ohio law, single out same-sex marriages as ones it will not recognize?" Black wrote in August. "The short answer is that Ohio cannot."

John Arthur died early Tuesday, a happily, legally, married man.

The couple’s attorney released a statement:

"Their love is a model for all of us. Part of John's legacy will be the difference he has already made in the struggle for marriage equality."

The lawsuit has since been expanded to have the out-of-state marriages of all gay couples in similar situations recognized on Ohio death certificates, despite the statewide ban. And the case has drawn attention in other states, including helping spark a similar but much broader lawsuit in Pennsylvania.

All John Arthur wanted to do before he died was to marry his partner and to have his death certificate state clearly that he was the husband of Jim Obergefell.

He got that wish, and I’m fairly certain that he is now resting in peace.

He deserves it.

Folks on the other side of this argument say that we're asking for 'special' rights, but it boils down to one thing: we're asking for dignity, and respect, and recognition that we live and love and die just like everyone else, and should be allowed to do so freely.

Is that so wrong?

UPDATE: Judge Orders Ohio To Recognize John Arthur and Jim Obergefell's Marriage

I’ve written about John Arthur and Jim Obergefell twice in the past week—this post makes three—and it’s always good news; first, they were getting married [John Arthur and Jim Obergefell: AWish Fulfilled] and then they filed suit to have their marriage recognized in Ohio [John Arthurand Jim Obergefell Are Demanding That Ohio Recognize Their Marriage] and now this.

Yesterday a federal judge in Ohio ordered state officials to recognize John and Jim’s marriage on the death certificate of John Arthur, who suffers from ALS, and whom the judge says “is certain to die soon.”

“The end result here and now is that the local Ohio Registrar of death certificates is hereby ORDERED not to accept for recording a death certificate for John Arthur that does not record Mr. Arthur’s status at death as ‘married’ and James Obergefell as his ‘surviving spouse.’ By treating lawful same sex marriages differently than it treats lawful opposite sex marriages”—Judge Timothy Black

Black concluded that Ohio’s 2004 constitutional amendment banning recognition of same-sex couples’ marriages and Ohio’s statute addressing the same issue “likely violate the United States Constitution.”

And, in addressing the constitutional question, Black explained, “Although the law has long recognized that marriage and domestic relations are matters generally left to the states, the restrictions imposed on marriage by states, however, must nonetheless comply with the [U.S.] Constitution … The purpose served by treating same-sex married couples differently than opposite-sex married couples is the same improper purpose that failed in United States v Windsor and in Romer v Evans: ‘to impose inequality’ and to make gay citizens unequal under the law.”

John Arthur and Jim Obergefell filed a lawsuit against Ohio Governor John Kasich to have their marriage legally recognized in their home state. Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine defended the state’s laws in filings with the court, but Cincinnati city lawyers representing Dr. Camille Jones, the vital statistics registrar for the city, declined to defend the law, telling the court, “The City will not defend Ohio’s discriminatory ban on same-sex marriages, but the City’s vital statistics registrar is bound to follow Ohio law until that law is changed or overturned.”

Maybe, just maybe, John Arthur can quietly pass away as the legally recognized husband of Jim Obergefell.

Is that so wrong?

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John Arthur and Jim Obergefell Are Demanding That Ohio Recognize Their Marriage

Last week I posted about John Arthur and Jim Obergefell of Ohio who made quite the trek to Maryland to get married. John suffers from ALS, so their trip involved donations to cover the cost of a medical transport, and all kinds of pre-arrangements so they could fly to Maryland, marry one another on the runway and then fly home. [See John Arthur and Jim Obergefell: A Wish Fulfilled]

And they did it. But they aren’t done, y’all, not by a long shot.

Last Friday John and Jim filed a federal lawsuit claiming it is unconstitutional for Ohio not to recognize their marriage. The suit states that the way Ohio law treats marriages between opposite-sex couples is unfairly different from the way it treats marriages between same-sex couples.

"It's blatant discrimination. It's a denial of equal protection."— Al Gerhardstein, John and Jim’s attorney

The suit also mentions marriages of first cousins; now, to be fair, in Ohio, marriage between first cousins is illegal, but if those first cousins travel to another state that recognizes their marriage, and they get married, upon their return to Ohio they are recognized as a legally married couple in the state. Not so for The Gays who marry elsewhere and return to Ohio.

Gerhardstein says the Arthur-Obergefell suit has importance beyond the law, because the two men are running out of time. John Arthur’s ALS, a progressive neurodegenerative disease, with no known cure, that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord, could take his life, and the two men want their marriage recognized before that happens.

"We want nothing more than for our marriage to count in the place we call home. When [Arthur] dies, his death certificate should reflect our marriage just like the records of all the other married couples in Ohio."—Jim Obergefell

Here’s hoping it will. They are a married couple, and should be recognized as such, no matter where they live.

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As a sidenote of a personal nature, after thirteen years of living in glorious sin, Carlos and I have decided to make honest men out of each other.

Now, South Carolina will not recognize our marriage, but it will help to have that federal recognition behind our commitment to one another.

We don't as yet know when, or where, but I'd like to do it on the day I call our anniversary, the day I moved to Miami to be with Carlos, October 17, and I might want to go to Washington state so my father can be a witness.

My father, who upon hearing this news, said to me, 'Congratlulations to my two sons."

John Arthur and Jim Obergefell: A Wish Fulfilled

There is a group called Crossroads Hospice that offers unique gifts for the dying: the gift of a perfect day, to do something they’ve always dreamed of. One man asked to ride an Indian motorcycle for his 100th birthday; an extended family went on a bus tour to view Christmas lights; a woman flew to Florida to stick her feet in the sand one last time, then died three hours after she came home.

John Arthur, another patient of Crossroads, hadn’t yet thought of a wish until June 26, the day the US Supreme Court struck down portions of DOMA. He watched the news from his hospital bed in his home, and he decided that his wish would be to marry his partner of 20 years, Jim Obergefell.

Trouble was, John and Jim live in Ohio, where marriage equality is yet to be; the couple couldn’t marry at home. And the idea of traveling to a state where they could marry was almost a non-thought because Arthur is bedridden with ALS, a progressive neurological disease that robs patients of their ability to walk, talk and eventually breathe.

But as he watched TV that historic day, John and Jim started working their phones and their email and their social media accounts to find a way to get this done. New York was the closest place they could go, but they would both have to travel there to get the license, then return home, and travel back again once they could marry.

New York was out.  And California and Washington, along with Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire, were too far. But Maryland; Maryland required only one partner to come for the license and then wait just 48-hours before a couple could marry. And it was just an hour and 10-minute flight.

But then the cost of the trip became an issue. Since John is bedridden—he hasn’t left his home since March—he would need a medical transport plane that could accommodate a stretcher. Hospice could cover some costs, like the ambulance ride to the airport, but it wouldn’t cover the $12,000 price-tag of renting a medical transport plane.

Jim Obergefell asked their friends if they had any connections, and suddenly donations began arriving in the mail from relatives, friends, former co-workers, even someone in Ireland they’d met on a cruise. The donations covered enough of the cost to make the trip possible, and Jim Obergefell flew to Baltimore on Tuesday, obtained the marriage license and flew back a few hours later.

On Thursday John Arthur and Jim Obergefell boarded a Lear jet at Lunken Airport with a nurse, two pilots trained in emergency medicine, and Arthur’s aunt, Paulette Roberts, who’d been ordained to perform weddings with the hope that she’d someday get to do theirs:

“When I obtained ordination and license to marry people, I called my nephew John and told him I would go anywhere, anytime to officiate at his and Jim’s marriage. He and Jim both said no. They were married to each other in their eyes, but that they would not take part in a wedding ceremony until the law of the land declared they were equal to other couples.”

And that Thursday morning, the plane landed in Baltimore and parked just off the runway; the pilots disembarked. Then, in the cabin of that plane, with Jim seated beside John’s stretcher, Paulette Roberts began to speak. Crying, Jim Obergefell then spoke; he and John exchanged rings and Paulette pronounced them husband and husband.

Jim leaned over John and kissed him.

It was just about seven minutes, start to finish, and then the pilots were back on board and Jim and John headed home to Ohio, with matching rings on their fingers and a wish fulfilled; they were finally married after 20 years, six months and 11 days together.

“I’m overjoyed. I’m very proud to be an American and be able to openly share my love for the record. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”—John Arthur

One day, some day soon, I wish all Americans, in every state, could feel like John Arthur felt last Thursday.

For more of the story go HERE