Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Dennis Goris, Ann Telnaes, Dave Whamond, Adam Zyglis, Randy Bish, Nick Anderson, Max Espinoza,  Jeff Danziger, Pedro X Molina, Michael de Adder, Matt Wuerker, Gary Huck, Benjamin Slyngstad,

The Funny Papers

Jesse Duquette, Jon Ostrove, Lalo Alcaraz, Dennis Goris, Benjamin Slyngstad, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, Christopher Weyant, Ed Wexler, Max Espinoza, Nick Anderson, Dave Whamond, Daniel Boris, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder

Why Is It ...

… that while some best friends get matching tattoos, my best friend and I have matching mental issues.

… that I have the ability to mulitask; I can lose my mind and chill at the same time.

… that I had to learn about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. That information is only useful during Parallelogram Season.

… that even though I keep saying “it is what it is,” I need to know: what is it?

… that kids today are so soft. I remember I died once when I was seven and my mom told me to walk it off.

… that anytime I am suspicious of something I swear I am almost always right.

… that every so often I choose to wear a House Arrest Ankle bracelet as an excuse not to go out at night.

… that I never did a One Night Stand, but I did do a One Year of Wasting My F*cking time.

… that I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Bobservations

We lead an exciting life, Carlos and me; we are in the midst of having the gutters replaced on the house. Oh calm down. Don’t be jealous, we can’t all lead such fabulous lives.

Anyway, Carlos asked me if I had the name of the gutter company we were looking into and I said I’d get it off the computer after dinner. But, before checking, I went through the mail and laughed and Carlos said:

“What’s so funny?”

 “We were just talking about the gutters and here’s a flier in the mail for the same company! I’ll leave it on the counter and we can call tomorrow.”

Cut to the next morning, and Carlos said:

“You told me yesterday you were going to get the gutter company phone number.”

“I know, but then we got the flier in the mail and I told you I’d give you the number first thing this morning.”

“I don’t remember that conversation.”

I took out my cartoon frying pan, ready to thwap his melon and told him that he drives me insane.

“Do I?”

Thwap.

This Tuxedo Says is from August 2020 and, well, the same is true today, nearly five years later:

Tuxedo feels about the Occupant of the White House the same as his two Dads although he's slightly less profane …

That’s my boy!

Out there in Utah students in kindergarten would be required to learn about firearm safety in the classroom under a bill that passed the state House with overwhelming GOP support.

Yes, your five- and six-year-old would be required to learn how to handle a gun. What could possibly go wrong?

There is nothing like a pair of hot, romantic skinny dipping cakes while sitting by the ocean, eh?

After The Felon named himself chairman of Kennedy Center and removed Biden appointees from the board in favor of unqualified cronies including Second Lady Usha Vance and White House Chief of staff Susie Wiles, dozens of celebrities abandon the performing arts center in protest:

Actor Issa Rae announced that she is cancelling her "An Evening With Issa Rae" event slated for next month and that tickets will be refunded:

"Unfortunately, due to what I believe to be an infringement on the values of an institution that has faithfully celebrated artists of all backgrounds through all mediums, I’ve decided to cancel my appearance at this venue."

Television producer and writer Shonda Rhimes has resigned as treasurer of the center's board, quoting JFK:

“If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him."

Adam Weiner of the band Low Cut Connie has also canceled an appearance at the center:

"Upon learning that this institution that has run nonpartisan for 54 years is now chaired by [The Felon] himself and his regime, I decided I will not perform there."

Legendary soprano Renée Fleming resigned as artistic advisor to the center, as did singer-songwriter Ben Folds, who  stepped down from his role as advisor to the National Symphony Orchestra.

This is just the kind of rejection that infuriates The Felon more than anything. He has long wanted to be accepted by America's cultural elites but they see him for the cruel, fascist, incompetent failure he truly is.

The National Park Service has removed ‘transgender’ from the website for the Stonewall National Monument in New York, a small park dedicated to an LGBTQ+ uprising that helped advance civil rights for our community. And not only did they remove the word "Transgender" but changed "LGBTQ+" to "LGBQ+".

The federal government is attempting to erase our trans brothers and sisters, and you can bet that next they will come for the rest of us.

This pride, we riot … again.

Unlike Google, which has followed the Fascist in Chief in renaming the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America, Encyclopedia Britannica has said it will continue to use Gulf of Mexico for a few reasons:

We serve an international audience, a majority of which is outside the US.

The Gulf of Mexico is an international body of water and the US’s authority to rename it is ambiguous.

And stupid.

Texas is reporting one of the biggest measles outbreaks in generations, with 48 cases, doubling since last week, with 13 hospitalizations.

The outbreak started in Gaines County, which has one of the lowest child vaccination rates in the state, and where 91% of the people voted for The Felon.

This is what happens when you trust MAGA over doctors and scientists.

Hunter McVey is a model and social media personality from Nashville who has discussed his struggles with weight and self-image, and his fitness journey, so Would You Hit it?