Wednesday, June 30, 2010

This Apple Fell Far From That Tree

Y'all know about Fred Phelps, right? Westboro Baptist, um, semi-preacher? He of the God Hates Fags signs? He who protests at the funerals of American soldiers?

Yeah, that asshat.

Well, turns out old Fred has a son, who spent a lifetime moving away from his father and is now speaking out about Freddy.

Nate Phelps, father of four and self-confessed atheist, now lives in Calgary, Canada, and is engaged to be married to his second wife. He spoke to the Canadian newspaper Globe and Mail about what it was like growing up the son of such a hate-filled man:

"I don’t accept the argument that growing up in a twisted environment is what led me to atheism....I accept the argument that growing up in a hyper-focus-on-God environment led me to search for answers. There’s no doubt about that. And I do accept that there’s damage there....I just don’t see any evidence for a God. But I see plenty of evidence for good and evil in humans."

Phelps did acknowledge that, after being raised by such a man as Fred Phelps, he feels the need for atonement, and the need to work out his feelings about his upbringing. These days, as part of what he calls his atonement, he speaks on the subject of his family and his father's religion at both secularist and gay conventions. In fact, earlier this year he
returned to Topeka, Kansas, to speak at a gay rally, a move that "put him at the centre of his father’s hate campaign".

Speaking on the subject of homosexuality, Nate Phelps said he understands that gay men and women don’t choose their sexuality, but did admit that the religious teachings of his father were "hard-wired" into his brain, and that even today he sometimes doubts his thoughts. He does concede that it isn't intellectual thought that causes his doubt, but emotional thought that leaves him wondering.

After being raised by Fred Phelps, it's no wonder that Nate still wonders; being brainwashed by one's own parent can do that to a child, even a grown child. And Nate Phelps has had his share of suicidal thoughts and has battled depression, but he lives in hope, while his father lives in hate.

Nate Phelps is one of 16 of Fred Phelps's children, two of whom have changed their names and turned their back on the family for good.

Sometimes, sometimes, good does come from evil.

You can read more about Nate Phelps, and his life, and trials, and struggles, as the son of hatred, on his website HERE.

Art Wednesday

European artist Sandrine Estrade Boulet finds inspiration just about everywhere.

NOM Is Going On Tour

That's right!

The NATIONAL Organization for Marriage is getting their tap shoes out of storage and taking their act on the road.

There will be clowns! Brian Brown.
There will be bearded ladies! Maggie Gallagher!

And there will be hate.

NOM is calling their extravaganza the Summer for Marriage Tour 2010, when in reality it's a chance to spread fear, hate and misinformation around the eastern half of the United States.

I cannot imagine anything more fun than to attend a rally where your main goal is to discriminate against someone.

Reminds me of the old days and the KKK marching through town.
It's hate.
Simple hate.
And they're marketing it like a party.

It's As If We Don't Exist

Forty-five years ago this month, four years before the Stonewall riots sparked what many consider the modern day LGBT Rights movement, a handful of men and women, dressed appropriately and politely, put their lives and their careers on the line to march in front of the White House carrying carefully hand-lettered signs demanding "First Class Citizenship for Homosexuals".

Those men and women might be gone now, but their picket signs remain. And four years ago, those very signs were donated to The National Museum of American History because the fight for LGBT rights is history. But the signs were never displayed; no curator fashioned an exhibition. Those signs are stored in a vault at the Smithsonian.

The protest signs were donated to the Smithsonian by The Kameny Papers Project, funded in part by former Congressman Michael Huffington and other allies. The Kameny Papers Project is named for Frank Kameny, considered the still living father of the gay civil equality movement in Washington, D.C. [for those of you who don't know, Frank Kameny led many such picket lines back in the day, and was subsequently fired by the federal government for being gay.]

And this makes one wonder how and why the Smithsonian chose to place these icons of the LGBT movement in a vault and keep them from the public eye? Well, the short answer is that it takes time for any museum, much less one the size and scope of the Smithsonian, to ready an exhibition.

But, more shocking than that, is the fact that if you are to visit The National Museum of American History today, you will find there is not one single gay or lesbian story told in the entire museum.

It's as if we don't exist. It's as if we never existed.

Go there. You'll see the struggle for Civil Rights, Equal Rights For Women, but no LGBT Rights on display. There are major exhibitions detailing "American Ideals", "Public Opinion", "Communities", "The Price of Liberty", "Culture" and "Science in the Public Eye," but they make absolutely no reference whatever to LGBT Americans. Most disgusting of all, is that you won't find a piece of the AIDS quilt, or any mention of LGBT involvement in politics, civics, culture or war.

It's as if we don't exist.

At least, within the confines of the Smithsonian.

The same year, however, that the Kameny Papers Project donated those early picket signs to the Smithsonian, they also gave some 50,000 items to The Library of Congress, and all of those items have been catalogued and are now fully available to anyone with a Library card.

In fact, this month, the Library of Congress will launch an innovative, new web portal that focuses on the Kameny archive, along with the papers of gay civil rights leader Bayard Rustin and other prominent writers and doers, with a very generous Introduction by our national Librarian James Billington.

The Library of Congress tells the stories of all Americans who helped build and define what this country is, and what it can be, while The National Museum of American History only tells the story of certain freedoms, and the fight for certain freedoms, from the abolition of slavery, to granting women the right to vote, to the African-American civil rights movement of the Sixties, to defending the rights of the disabled. But not the LGBT Rights movement.

It's as if we don't exist there.

It's sad that such a place as the Smithsonian opts to omit our stories, which have been as much a part of the fabric of this country as the stories of anyone else. Because, while we are gay, we are men and women, Black and white, and every other color, and religion and age and ethnicity and, well, we are everyone.

But not in the Smithsonian.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Here's ONE Reason He's So Hot

Alexi Giannoulias on Equality:

We Aren't ALWAYS Right

Brian Johnson, a Wisconsin evangelist, along with his wife and son, wanted to attend a Gay Pride celebration at a Minneapolis park to hand out Bibles, but Twin Cities Pride tried to stop him. So he had to sue to be able to do so.

And, while this may seem strange, coming from me, but, good for him.

I am not a particularly religious man. I have certain beliefs that do not pertain to any one organized religious movement. For me, religion, or spirituality, is a personal thing, and it doesn't need a congregation, or a minister in a Mercedes, to be celebrated.

I am, however, also openly, militantly, proudly, gay, and I will defend gay rights at each and every turn. But this attempt to stop Brian Johnson from handing out Bibles has got me riled.

We want to be treated equally, as gay men and women; we want the rights, the benefits, the privileges afforded all Americans. We want simple equality.

And then we try to stifle this man's right to Free Speech because he doesn't like gay people, because he thinks homosexuality is a sin.

Well, guess what homos? He has that right. To believe what he chooses, to say what he wants, to dispense Bibles when and where he chooses, on public property.

Would I have taken his Bible? Doubtful.

But, I wouldn't have denied him the right to hand them out. There are plenty of gay Christians out there who might have taken his Bible, and maybe had a conversation with Brian Johnson, and maybe, or maybe not, changed his mind on homosexuality. I would have liked to see that happen.

But what I don't like is the fact that we gather for Pride, march for Pride, work to be heard, strive to be equalized, and then turn around and tell someone else to Go away because we don't like your opinion.

Think of how the LGBT community would have reacted if, at some church function in that very same Minneapolis park, gay people were told they couldn't enter the park, couldn't speak, couldn't hand out literature.

We would be blogging in anger and marching in anger and suing in anger.

You cannot ask to be treated equally, while denying equality to someone else.

It's Her Name, But She Has To Pay To Use It

Traci Turpin of Knoxville, Tennessee, and her partner travelled to Washington DC for a little sight seeing, a little politics, and, oh yeah, a wedding.

"We had a nice ceremony. Shed some tears and walked away feeling confident and happy," said Turpin.

And when the newlyweds returned to Knoxville, Traci Turpin made a quick stop at the Social Security office to have her last name legally changed to that of her partner's. And then she stopped off at the DMV to change the name on her driver's license, too. No one batted an eye, and Traci left both offices with new identification, with her married name on each.

But before Traci Turpin could even get out of the West Knoxville DMV parking lot, an employee of the Department of Motor Vehicles approached her car and asked for the new license back.

"How dare her employee run out to my car, in front of everybody and say, 'You've got to give me the license back, we don't recognize same sex marriage,' out loud," questioned Turpin.

So, Traci Turpin refused.

And the employee called the Highway patrol, who forced Traci Turpin to hand over her new license, and have another issued with her old name on it. See, the State Department of Safety requires two documents in order to make such a change on a license: a current license and certified document showing reason for the name change.

And, for Traci Turpin this second document was her marriage license. However, since Tennessee does not recognize same sex marriages, this document was invalid. And Traci believes that if she had not told DMV employees of her good news, that she was married to a woman, she would still have the license with her new married name.

"I understand it's state law. I recognize that. I just want my name to match my social security card," Turpin says. She just wants her married name recognized, and, apparently that's not possible in Tennessee, unless she goes through other means and pays some $200 to do so.

It costs so much money to be gay, I just don't see why people wanna do it.

Name change? Write a check.
Hospital visitation rights? Get a lawyer to draw up the papers and charge it to your Visa. Adoption? Ka-ching; pay the bills.

It'd be cheaper to be straight.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Design Star: Symphonic Design Or Just Plain Noise

This week the Designers met Mini-Me-Vern on top of Donald Trump's head, or one of his hotel towers or something. Sidenote: what is it with all these shows going to the rooftops of buildings these days? Are they hoping one of the contestants, in a fit of inadequacy will fling themselves to their death?
Anyway...on this rooftop, there are musicians playing, and Vern tells the Designtestants that their challenge will be to create an outdoor space using musical instruments as their inspiration. And, because the men have six designers, and the women are down to four, he allows the women to pick one of the men to be on their team.
Michael is the obvious choice, though, Tom is the hottest choice. Alex keeps muttering Don't pick me but I don't think he has anything to worry about; he doesn't come off as an asset to either team.
Courtland, as the winner of the last challenge, picks first:
He goes mellow cello, while Dan gets all guitar-y. Tom goes sexy sax New York, and Michael picks the loooong instrument that slides through your fingers...go figure. Alex says he's an island boy....Staten Island?....and must have the congos, while Emily finds the dumb-ditty-dumb tuba somewhat inspiring. Casey opts for the xylophone because it's twinkly or something--this will be the last time we see Casey during the show as she is, for some reason, given the Invisible Edit. Nina gets the French Horn because she's a bitch; I know that doesn't make sense but she is a bitch, while Trent Of The Big Hat picks the keyboards, and Stacey picks the tiny loud trumpet.
The Designs Of The Women..........and Dan:

Nina paints a purple wall because nothing says French Horn like purple....with wooden slats and painted on squiggles. a battle ensues between Nina and Emily over the squiggles, and they both look to Dan, who stammers about being the band-aid on a wound that needs stitches.
Dan, AKA The Peacekeeper because he keeps Emily from bashing Nina in the head with the Tuba, then decides to use the Guitar to inspire him with furnishings that are, well, relaxing...perhaps a place to strum, loudly, to drown out Nina and Emily.
Emily's Tuba shows up in the idea that you can lounge for hours on end, becoming fat and lazy, like a tuba, while Stacey uses the Trumpet's Three Notes to fashion a picket fence wall that she fills with plants; actually, Stacey has Dan fashion the wall while she stands to one side and plays damsel in dis dress and Nina watches from across the space, bitching about not being able to fulfill your design by yourself. Apparently, Nina can do everything.
Casey......I think she went to lunch.
But the room, er, outdoor space, comes together and looks kind of like a lazy place to play the tuba and have a picnic and look at twinkly lights....which I think Casey put up before she went home for the day.
Take a look, and click to emBIGGERate.
The Designs of the Men:

First off.....Tom. in that form-fitting shirt, his guns a'bulging, and working with tools and building stuff. Ay yi yi. And then in the interview, in his Jon Hamm-inspired, Mad Men-esque black suit. Ay yi yi. I no longer care what Tom designs, as long as he does it in tight shirts, and them cleans up in a snug black suit. He's buff, he builds, and he looks like he can make me a brilliant Ketel One Martini.
What more could I possibly want?
Oh......yeah.....the show.
Courtland sees the cello as relaxing and warm and thinks of venetian plaster and Sedona, Arizona. So, he picks the orange-iest of oranges and slaps it on the walls, and, to him, that says cello.
Michael, still thinking of sliding his fingers along the instrument while blowing it.....seriously....creates an art piece that shows off the slide, and a musical note, and a light bulb that goes off at the end in some sort of orgasmic explosion. Really.
Alex wanted a bamboo wicker daybed because it looked like congos, but the men battled endlessly to get that bitch.....not Nina, the daybed....into the elevator, to no avail; so the day bed was nixed, and Tom and Alex worked together to build a daybed. Tom. Tight shirt. Sex, er, sax. Daybed. I forgot what I was doing.
Alex! Yeah! He recreates the curve of the congo and throws around some cushions that are blue like the congos. Alex is a literal designer. I think if you said to him that you wanted a green space he's plant a lawn on Mars.
Trent of the Big Hat finds his piano inspiration in a black grill because it looks like a piano and whenever there's a piano and music there's a grill. I know this is true, because every time I go to the symphony, we take the grill to tailgate in the parking lot.
The men's patio. Click to emBIGGERate.

The Judges award the Woman....and Dan...the Victory, and give Nina the over-all win. This is Win Two for The Bitch and I swear I saw her head literally growing on my TV screen. Emily muttered something about ego, and big mouth, and no living with her. I concurred.
So, it's the men who will do the Hosting of their space and face the judges.
Mini-Me sits in his chair, swinging his feet, which don't touch the ground still suffering from Little Man Syndrome. GeeYouReally BoredMe looks like a design student who stepped into the wrong class, and even Candice looks miffed.
The judges see Tom and His Sex, er, Sax, in the design, but don't feel any cohesion between Tom's New York Nightlife and Courtland's Sedona Sleepover. Courtland tries to defend his work, and sputters some nonsense something about listening to a cello in Arizona until Vern screams like a girl for him to stop.
Micheal gets kudos for his orally-fixated tromboner, and No, I meant to spell it like that.
Alex gets the beatdown for his congos, and being so literal about his design. And, for some reason I can't fathom, Mini-Me blames Alex for the bamboo daybed not fitting in the elevator when all of the guys chose it. I sense Alex might take the fall.
But then Trent of the Big hat gets nailed for his Piano Bar.....B-Q. None of the judges see piano in the grill, or piano keys in the wooden benches.
Alex and Trent are Bottom Two and have to HOST SYNC FOR THEIR LIVES. I think this show could do with some Ru, and maybe next week, Vern comes to judging in drag.
Just sayin'.
Both Alex and Trent are the worst possible hosts, making no sense of the space, or their vocabulary. I wonder if the judges will kick both their asses to the curb.
But, just before they announce their decision, Trent of the Big Hat says he doesn't like the show, and the competition and the arguments, and the fights over getting your voice and design heard. i wonder if he had a clue what he was getting into, or maybe he went into the wrong room six months back. He may have thought he was at the auditions for the road company of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown, but he was at Design Star. How else do we explain that ginormous hat?
Trent is told to pack his big ball cap and go.
I'm in love with Tom. Buff and urbane.
I'm sick of Nina. Bigheaded and Bitchy.
I sense more Courtland-Tom fighting, and I hope it'll be done in the nude.
I wonder where Casey went to lunch.

Tom Brock: Self-Loathing-Homosexual Number 45,387.....Or Something Like That

I really don't like to generalize or stereotype.
Really. I don't.
But....and you knew there had to be a but....doesn't it seem that every single politician and so-called man of the cloth, that spread their virulent anti-gay messages, or vote for anti-gay legislation, apparently likes a little man-on-man love?
Larry Craig. The Tapper. He comes to mind instantly.
Ted Haggard. Another self-loathing homosexual.
And now there's the Reverend Tom Brock, a Lutheran pastor who is passionately critical of gay folks, and opposed to anything that reeks of legalizing gay marriage.
See, the "Reverend" Tom is currently on leave from his Minneapolis church after a gay magazine reported his attendance at a support group for men struggling with same-sex attraction.
What's this? A man of the cloth who preaches hate for gay people is secretly gay? Well, I never.
And yet Brock, a fixture on local cable access shows, regularly broadcasts conservative views on homosexuality and criticizes the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America for liberalizing its gay clergy policy.
While coping with his own homosexuality.
Lavender Magazine published a story last week about Tom Brock's attendance at Faith in Action meetings, written by a reporter who falsely posed as a member of the group. And while Lavender Magazine president, Stephen Rocheford says his magazine does not set out to out anyone, the "one exception is a public figure who says one thing and does another."
AKA Tom Brock.
And while the Lavender magazine piece never actually quotes Tom Brock as admitting to his "sin" of homosexcuality, it does quote him as saying, of a trip to Eastern Europe, "I fell into temptation. I was weak." No, honey. You were gay and you were horny, and you were away from home and thought no one would know.
When Hope Lutheran's executive pastor, the Reverend Tom Parrish, confronted Tom Brock with the article, Brock "simply said he indeed has been attending this Christian group, both going there and being honest about temptations he has, and is being held accountable so he never would do anything with that temptation." And then, the "Reverend" Parrish condemned Lavender magazine for the article: "What they've done is unconscionable."
Actually, reverend Parrish, what is unconscionable is using the word of God to spread hate, as tom Brock constantly does: "Every time the Bible mentions homosexual behavior, it condemns it. It never adds, it's OK if you love each other."
But it is okay, Tom, because at the end of the day, whatever your faith or belief system, God is love; so it's okay to love. But it isn't okay to preach hate and intolerance, though, and it's reprehensible to preach hate and intolerance of the gay community when you are one of us.

Henry And Bob Get Married. Finally.

Henry Schalizki and Bob Davis met in Rhode Island in 1942 and spent the entire night talking to one another.

Then they went their separate ways.

Three years later, the pair crossed paths again, this time in Baltimore. And this time they didn't go their separate ways. They stayed together for more than 60 years. And finally, on June 20th, 2010, they exchanged their wedding vows.

Talk about a long engagement.

Back in Baltimore, that second time they met, Henry Schalizki learned that Bob Davis had moved to his hometown for work and that he was staying in a seedy boarding house. Henry invited Bob to be his house guest, promising to find him someplace to live and work the next day, but that never happened.

They fell in love, and Davis "stayed and stayed."

Back in those early years, Henry and Bob never shared their affection openly, but neither did they completely hide it. They attended dinner partied together at the homes of Henry Schalizki's railroad colleagues, and Henry went to all of Bob's social engagements. They never announced their love for one another, but they never really denied it; they were simply Henry and Bob.

"What they don't know won't hurt them,' " Bob remembers thinking. "Let's not antagonize people."

And they never felt able to share the news of their relationship with their own families, though perhaps they knew. At the end of his life, Henry's dad wrote a letter instructing the two men to always take care of each other; and Bob's mother adored them both.

Through good times and bad, sickness and health, as all couples do--though most can do it legally--they stayed together. They didn't need that piece of paper, but even if they'd wanted it, they couldn't have it; until now.

When marriage equality became law in Washington, DC, Henry decided it was time to get married. But Bob wanted no part of it, saying, "We're accepted as two human beings, always as a couple. I said, 'I don't see any reason for it....Besides that, Vera Wang will never make a gown for me to wear."

But then Henry reminded Bob of the reaction to a speech he'd given during the 2008 Helen Hayes Awards, where the couple was honored. Schalizki, though somewhat unofficially, professed his love for Bob Davis and the audience gave him a standing ovation.

They may not have been the loudest voices for gay rights, they may not have marched in every parade or flown a Pride flag, but the very nature of their relationship is a milestone in the gay rights movement.

People can say we don't deserve the right to be married; they can say all sorts of things about gay couples. But they cannot say, especially to Henry and Bob, that gay couples cannot truly love.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Forty-One Years Ago Today

Originally posted June 27, 2009:

It was forty-one years ago, a lifetime to some of us, a minute to others, but it marked a turning point for the LGBT community. It marked one of the first, and definitely the loudest, times that gay men and women stood up en masse and said, No. We will not be treated like this any longer!
The weekend of June 27-29,1969 began what is the modern day gay movement. To be sure, there were gay and lesbian activists before that weekend, but the confrontation between police and demonstrators at the Stonewall Inn in New York lit a fire in the hearts of the LGBT community like it had never been done before.
And like any good story, there is controversy surrounding the Stonewall Riots; there are arguments and differences over what happened, how it started and how it ended. But the fact we all need to remember is that it did happen, and it should continue to be a rallying cry for the LGBT community to be, finally, considered equal in the eyes of America.
It was Friday, June 27, 1969, and the world was mourning the death of Judy Garland. Could it be that the death of one of the most famous gay icons was what sparked the fire of the modern day Gay Rights Movement? Many people have speculated that Garland's death did indeed push the gay community into the streets of New York that night. But it was also hot, that night, and many say it was the heat that fueled the crowd into action, into reaction. Maybe it was both Garland's death and the hot summer night; or maybe it was just that the gay community had finally had enough of being told what to do, what not to do, and how we should live our lives. Whatever the reason, it was enough. Finally, enough.
In the early morning hours of June 28, police officers raided the Stonewall Inn, a small bar located on Christopher Street in Greenwich Village. Although mafia-run, the Stonewall, like other predominantly gay bars in the city, got raided by the police periodically.
Typically, the more "deviant" patrons--drag queens and butch lesbians, especially if they were black--were arrested and taken away, while white, male customers looked on or quietly disappeared. The bar owners would be levied an insubstantial fine--a sign of corruption and collusion between bar owners and police--allowing them to open for business the following day.
On this night, the charge at the Stonewall was the illegal sale of alcohol. The raid began as they always did: plainclothes and uniformed police officers entered the bar, arrested the employees, and began ejecting the customers one by one onto the street. For some reason, however, the crowd that had gathered outside the Stonewall, a somewhat campy and festive crowd, began to cheer as the patrons were pushed out of the Stonewall Inn. But soon the mood changed; it was Judy Garland's death, or the summer heat, or the fact that the summer of 1969 was a particularly busy one for police raids on gay bars. Or maybe it was watching drag queens and lesbians being pushed and shoved and kicked into paddy wagons.
Whatever it was, the on-lookers lost their patience. No one really knows who threw the first punch; some say it was a drag queen, some say it was a rather butch-looking lesbian. But someone defied the police that night; someone had finally had enough.
The crowd, now numbering several hundred, exploded. People began hurling coins at police
officers, then they moved on to rocks and bottles, whatever they could grab. The police, at first stunned that the normally docile and shamed homosexuals would react in such a fashion, soon began beating the crowds with nightsticks. This group, however,was too angry, and could not be pushed down; the police officers were forced to take refuge inside the Stonewall.
As news spread throughout Greenwich Village the crowd grew ever larger; many residents, some gay, some not, ran down to the Stonewall Inn to join the fight. Lighter fluid was squirted inside the bar and someone tried to light it; others grabbed a downed parking meter and used it as a battering ram against the front of the Stonewall. Someone began chanting "Gay Power!"
The riot-control police unit arrived to rescue the trapped officers and break up the demonstration, though it took over an hour before the crowd dispersed. To taunt their attackers a group of drag queens began to sing at the top of their lungs:
We are the Stonewall girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear no underwear
We show our pubic hair
We wear our dungarees
Above our nelly knees!

That first Stonewall Riot ended the morning of Saturday, June 28, but the fight was far from over. That night a second riot broke out and the crowd now numbered in the thousands, filling the streets in the name of Gay Pride. They marched to the Stonewall Inn and waited for the police to arrive; and they did, in the early morning hours of Sunday, June 29.
For over a week, though in smaller numbers, protests and demonstrations continued in Greenwich Village. There was finally a sense of what could be accomplished by banding together, by being out, by being seen, by being heard. By being angry. It was a new day.
A month after the riots, the Gay Liberation Front (GLF) was formed. Radical and leftist, the GLF was one of many politically focused lesbian and gay organizations formed in the days and weeks following the riots. The number of lesbian and gay publications skyrocketed as well, which led to an even greater sense of community. The LGBT community was no longer strictly marginalized in United States society. Now, out and proud lesbians and gay men were developing their own communities in cities across the country.
Since 1970, marches have taken place in New York City--and all over hte world--every year on the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. In June 1994, hundreds of thousands of people converged on New York to celebrate Stonewall's 25th anniversary. In 1999 the United States government proclaimed the Stonewall Inn a national historic site. The following year, the status of the Stonewall was improved to "historic landmark," a designation held by only a small percentage of historical sites.
It is our Plymouth Rock. It's where the gay community landed and came together and began the march toward equality. Stonewall was our first glimpse of a new world where we weren't alone, we weren't all that different, where we belonged.
It makes no difference how it started. The death of an icon; the summer heat; a sense of frustration. It makes no difference who started it; drag queens or lesbians; coin tossers or rock throwers. The difference is that it happened.
Forty-one years ago today.

Sunday Funnies

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Get out your ear-plugs and your blindfolds....Heidi Montag is recording a new album.
Apparently, Heidi used Twitter to announce her newest assault on America: "[H]eading into the music studio recording my new single! Steve Morales my music producer moves into my house tomorrow to make my summer album!"
Does no one remember that her first "album" sold an embarrassing 600 copies in its first week of release? Does anyone remember how many people went rushing to emergency rooms all across this great land with bleeding and shattered eardrums?
This must be stopped.
Someone needs to tie her to a chair and tell her, repeatedly, that she has no talent, she is no talent, and that we don't need to hear any more from here.
Speaking of which....those of you who bought her last, um, "album"? I'm watching you.

Uh oh. Never piss off a queen.
Or even THE queen.
It seems the UK finance minister George Osborne has announced that the royal budget will remain frozen at 7.9 million pounds--roughly $11,796,284.22 American dollars--for the coming year and that he will "propose a new means of consolidated support for her majesty for the future at a later date."
Smack to Liz because, just last month, royal officials asked for a funding increase.
Hey, upkeep on palaces and royal carriages is expensive!
But, ALLEGEDLY, Buckingham Palace--and by Buckingham Palace, I Mean the Queen and her4 court--have agreed with Osborne's announcements saying that the decision to freeze the amount was "mutual."
Uh huh.
I think Buckingham Palace's response was more along the lines of Off with his head!

Oops. More Lindsanity news.
According to legal documents, Lindsay Lohan was under the influence of cocaine during that 2007 chase on the Pacific Coast Highway. No! I don't believe it!But the pee don't lie. Her urine sample ALLEGEDLY detected two different types of coke!
Lawyers for the plaintiff, Tracie Rice--the passenger suing La Lohan for chasing her down the
Pacific Coast Highway during her drunken joy ride--want the judge to tell the jury about the findings. And if the judge does not inform the jury of Lindsay's test, the lawyers request that Lindsay should not be allowed to deny that she ingested or had the drug on her.
For her part, Lindsay refuses to talk about that night. perhaps because she was so high at the
time she has no recollection.
Just sayin'.
And, ALLEGEDLY, Tracie Rice's lawyers also want Lindsay barred from telling the jury she's broke. As we understand it, Rice's lawyer is concerned that the jury might get soft and stingy with awarding damages to her client. She is requesting that the judge "exclude all testimony about Lindsay Lohan not having money or currently being poor or in debt."
Poor Lindsay.
Telling the world that you're a drug whore.
A broke-ass drug whore.
Oh. Wait.
We already knew that.

Poor Tori Spelling.
Every time she opens her mouth--not to eat, mind you, girl never eats--the stupid falls out.
While promoting her new, er, "book," Uncharted TerriTORI--okay, lets stop for a moment.....that business of incorporating your name into every, er, "book" title is getting old, unless the next book is My Career Is HisTORI--Spelling announced on Ryan Seacrest's radio show that all of her former Beverly Hills, 90210 co-stars hate her.Tori:
"All my cast members hate me. People say, 'Do you mean during 90210?' I say, 'No, we were great friends during 90210. We were friends after 90210.' They all came to my first wedding. All of a sudden I marry Dean, and I don't know what happened. I lost all my cast members."
Hmmm, maybe it's me, but when you refer to your "friends" as "cast members" maybe that has something to do with it.
Try calling them "friends" fool.
I mean, I call my friends, supporting players, because they all understand that the show is about me, and they understand that we aren't friends when the show is up and running.
We are STAR and supporting players.
I never confuse the two, and you shouldn't either.

Hasbeen, though I think he's more of a never-was, because I don't know who he is, actor, Jeremy London has been talking to anyone who will listen about his ALLEGED kidnapping in Palm Springs where the kidnappers drove him around in his car, holding a gun to his head, and forcing him to do drugs before they just let him go.
He says: "It's been an absolute nightmare. This actually did happen to me. It was one of the worst days of my life… I thought I was going to die. Thank God I made it out alive."
But, sad to say, not everyone, and by everyone I include myself, is buying this story; even his twin brother, Jason, says: "We love Jeremy very, very much…but he's lost."
Jeremy, however, is sticking to his story, saying: "The worst part of this has been my family. We've had to put a cease and desist order on them and now I'm going to have to have a restraining order put on them. They went on TV and told a bunch of lies saying this [the kidnapping] never happened. I haven't seen them in six months… they have no idea what's going on."
Even Jeremy's wife, and drug mule, Melissa, has come forward and says that this kind of kidnapping-drug-party-joy-ride-at-gun-point stuff happens all the time: "Police told us this is the new thing to do down here… rob people at gunpoint and make them do drugs so they won't be reliable witnesses. It's happening more and more."
But, um, Melissa, the Palm Springs Police Department says: "We have not had a rash of them — they are not commonplace here in Palm Springs."
Sounds like Jeremy just wanted to get drugged and drive, and is now looking for excuses.

Mel Gibson has filed for a temporary restraining order against Oksana Grigorieva--the mother of his eighth child--along with a notice about a forthcoming court hearing as well as a notice of visitation rights and child custody.
Gibson and Oksana split in April after over a year of dating, and Oksana has since said: "We have split up, suddenly and recently... Unfortunately, I cannot give you the reason. But you will find out everything quite soon." Well, soon is here.
ALLEGEDLY Mel--the most Catholic man on the plant who divorced his wife, and mother of his first seven children, so he could date, and subsequently knock-up, his mistress, Oksana--is dating--and y'all know what I mean by dating--Polish porn star Violet Kowal.It's unclear if this new affair led to the break-up with his other mistress, just as it's unclear if his affair with the first mistress led to the break-up of his marriage.
What is clear is that Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite-homophobic-alcoholic-adulterer-asshat.