I Didn't Say It ...

Bruce Springsteen, on tour in Manchester, speaking truth to power about The Felon:

“In my home, the America I love, the America I’ve written about, that has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration. Tonight, we ask all who believe in democracy and the best of our American experiment to rise with us, raise your voices against authoritarianism and let freedom ring! The last check, the last check on power after the checks and balances of government have failed are the people, you and me. It’s in the union of people around a common set of values now that’s all that stands between a democracy and authoritarianism. So at the end of the day, all we’ve got is each other. There’s some very weird, strange and dangerous shit going on out there right now. In America, they are persecuting people for using their right to free speech and voicing their dissent. This is happening now. In America, the richest men are taking satisfaction in abandoning the world’s poorest children to sickness and death. This is happening now. In my country, they’re taking sadistic pleasure in the pain they inflict on loyal American workers. They’re rolling back historic civil rights legislation that led to a more just and plural society. They are abandoning our great allies and siding with dictators against those struggling for their freedom. They are defunding American universities that won’t bow down to their ideological demands. They are removing residents off American streets and, without due process of law, are deporting them to foreign detention centers and prisons. This is all happening now. A majority of our elected representatives have failed to protect the American people from the abuses of an unfit president and a rogue government. They have no concern or idea of what it means to be deeply American. The America l’ve sung to you about for 50 years is real and regardless of its faults is a great country with a great people. So we’ll survive this moment. Now, I have hope, because I believe in the truth of what the great American writer James Baldwin said. He said, ‘In this world, there isn’t as much humanity as one would like, but there’s enough.’ Let’s pray.”

Let’s pray.

Let’s vote.

Let’s protest.

Let’s speak up.

Let’s resist.

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Pete Buttigieg, former Transportation Secretary and future president, at an Iowa town hall taking on this fascist regime:

“Right now, I'm not running for anything and part of what's exciting and compelling about an opportunity like this is to be campaigning for values and for ideas, rather than a specific electoral campaign. We are being tested on nothing less than whether the United States of America is in fact the freedom-loving people that we believe and know ourselves to be. Even in this moment, when opposition to the abuses coming out of Washington has never mattered more, this isn't just about what we are trying to block, it's about what we are determined to build. It's about what could be better—what will be better if we follow the guiding lights of this country. When the president of the United States thinks he could send you to another country, or shut down the broadcast license of a TV station, if he doesn’t like what it has to say—that is not freedom. I am convinced that members of Congress and the president’s party know that this is wrong. No one person, least of all, no one politician, gets to decide that you’re a criminal. There’s this theory out there that if we just kind of hang back, don’t do much, then the people in charge today will screw it up, and then they’ll get blamed for it and then we’ll win. I disagree. First of all, while I agree that they will screw it up, I disagree that we should let them. And I also disagree that they will be blamed for it. They may not be good at governing but they are really good at allocating blame. We need to be in touch with our first principles, what we would be doing if we were in charge. What makes America great is its ability to wrestle with its darkest demons and come out stronger and better for it.”

The best part of the speech for me was when a man stood up and said he appreciated Pete’s speech and liked that he was a man who spoke in complete sentences. The crowd cheered that man.

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Robert De Niro, at the Cannes Film Festival, taking on The Felon:

"In my country, we’re fighting like hell for the democracy we once took for granted. And that affects all of us here because the arts are democratic. Art is inclusive. It brings people together, like tonight. Art looks for truth, art embraces diversity and that’s why art is a threat — that’s why we are a threat — to autocrats and fascists. Let that sink in for a minute. You can’t put a price on creativity, but apparently you can put a tariff on it. Of course, this is unacceptable. All these attacks are unacceptable, and this isn’t just an American problem. It’s a global one. And like a film, we can’t just all sit back and watch. We have to act now. Without violence, but with great passion and determination. It’s time for everyone who cares about liberty to organize, to protest, and when there are elections, of course to vote. Tonight, and for the next eleven days, we show our strength and commitment by celebrating art in this glorious festival.”

The best part about De Niro's outspoken criticisms of The Felon is that we know how deeply they bother the so-called president who has always wanted acceptance from Hollywood. He loves the glitz and glamour and resents that they despise him.

But they see him for the lying, cheating, rapist, racist, grifter, liar, loser that he’s been his entire life.

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Harold Ford, Fox News host, telling the truth on that lying network:

“Tax cuts—as much as the president and Republicans want to say this tax bill extending things are going to help middle-class Americans, the vast majority of people who are going to be helped by the tax cuts are the wealthiest, because there’s one other number. Over the last 12 years, the S&P has gone up almost 400%, and the only way to benefit from the stock market is if you have money invested in the stock market and you have to have a lot for that to benefit you. So, I say to Democrats: you have to cut spending. I say to Republicans: stop kidding Americans that you’re not … cutting taxes for the richest Americans. Why not raise taxes on those earning two and half million or more to pay for these things? So, we may differ a little bit, but one thing we agree on, the debt is not going to go down because of this and the people that are going to benefit the most are not middle-class, working-class Americans, it’s going to be some people around this table and people much richer than this.”

Another Fox host speaking truth on the Lying Channel.

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Bruce Springsteen, again in concert, responding to The Felon warning him that he’d better “keep his mouth shut”:

“In my country, they’re taking sadistic pleasure in the pain they inflict on loyal American workers. They’re rolling back historic civil rights legislation that led to a more just society. They’re abandoning our great allies and siding with dictators against those who are struggling for their freedom. That’s happening now. They are defunding American universities that won’t bow down to their ideological demands. And they are removing residents off American streets without due process of law and deploying them to foreign detention centers and prisons. That’s happening now. They have utterly failed to protect the American people from the abuses of an unfit president and a rogue government. That’s happening now.”

The idea that The Felon thinks he can intimidate The Boss is astounding; he could even intimidate a porn star.

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Snarky Thoughts

A week ago we learned Kevin Costner was trying to get out of his Yellowstone contract, and then discovered that his wife, Christine Baumgartner, wanted out of their marriage contract and filed for divorce after eighteen years of marriage. Costner seems to suggest in a statement that he was blindsided by the announcement—sad when the wife doesn’t tell you she wants a divorce before she tells the lawyers, eh? Baumgartner has asked for joint custody of their three children but did not ask for spousal support.

My Thought: Maybe she left him because he’s trying to get out of a very successful TV show and she’s a big fan or likes the coins the show makes … or, as some say, he may have cheated with someone on the set resulting in the other woman getting pregnant.

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At the premiere of his newest film, About My Father, Robert De Niro announced that he’d become a father … again. The father of six welcomed his seventh child—name and gender unknown—at the age of seventy-nine and claimed the pregnancy was “planned.”

My Thought: De Niro “planned” to be one-hundred-years-old on his latest child’s 21st birthday, and planned on his latest child getting to know his, or her, oldest sister, who is fifty-one?

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Shakira‘s been having quite a few years after she found that her longtime boyfriend Gerard Piqué was dipping his peen into one Clara Chia Marti—which sounds like a cocktail—and then followed that mess up with the Spanish government saying she owed back taxes. But that might all change for the … cray-cray ... if we are to believe that Cult of $cientology poster boy Tom Cruise is interested in dating Shakira. 

My Thought: I think Co$ ALLEGEDLY checked Shakira's fan sites, clicked on her picture and then tapped Add To Cart so Tommy would no longer be single and insane. I mean, CO$ will buy Tommy whatever next ex-wife he wants just to keep him happy and in check.

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Suzanne Somers, who clearly needed a way to get her name back out there, is claiming that she was offered—and declined—one of the first co-hosting slots alongside Barbara Walters on “The View” back in 1997:

“I was originally asked to be on the original ‘View’ with Barbara Walters and whoever else, and I turned it down, and everyone said, ‘Why would you turn that down? It is a national show.' I said, ‘First of all, I have to live in New York. I don’t really wanna live in New York … but secondly, I don’t do well vying for time. And there, you gotta interrupt and butt in and butt out. It’s just not my personality.”

My Thought: Huh, she must be a psychic cause how could she know you’d have to “butt in” and “interrupt” people on a show that hadn’t even aired yet?

PS ABC is not commenting on the story and Barbara Walters died in December 2022.

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It’s been a year since Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello called off The Love Affair of the Century and yet neither one has had much success in love—Shawn tried and failed to convince his chiropractor and Mariah Carey—to be his new beard, and Camila added a single season run as a Voice judge. So, what do they do to reignite their failed and faked love lives and careers: they are spotted  making out at Coachella.

My Thought: This will last until one of them has a hit record.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Tori Spelling has owed American Express a Love Boat—see what I did there? Her daddy is Aaron Spelling, who created Love Boat!—of cash for a looooong time. She hasn’t made much of an effort to pay them off, even from the few coins she seems to get from the annual reboots and failures of a Beverly Hills, 90210 revival.

And finally, AMEX had enough and, last week the company just went into her bank account and took their money out … with a court order of course. More shocking than that is that Spelling actually had money in her account, and it wasn’t just chump change.

As of March 2020, Tori owed American Express $88,731.25. Amex filed two different lawsuits against Tori and her husband, Dean McDermott,  back in 2016, and still they weren’t getting paid, so AMEX took it to the judge who said:

“Here’s her account number, help yourself.”

A writ of execution was ordered by the court in March 2020 and executed by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department in April. It isn’t entirely clear if AMEX got their full nearly 90K, but this may not be the last time a creditor get access to her accounts.

Tori and Dean are currently involved in a lawsuit with City National Bank over $189,000 of unpaid debts; they owe $282,000 to the state of California in back taxes; they were also hit with a federal tax lien of over $707,000 dating back to unpaid federal taxes from 2014.

Dayum; bitch better get a side job before she and Dean and their four, er, five, er, six kids are living in her mother, Candy’s, car in the garage of Candy’s luxury condo building.

Sidenote: Tori has no comment for this story … unless you offer her coins.

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I love a good cat fight, and, normally, the press plays it up as women doing the hissing and spitting, but this time it’s a decades long feud between Mickey Rourke and Robert De Niro.

And this week, Mickey reignited the feud and on Instagram by suggesting that Martin Scorsese wanted him to be in The Irishman, but De Niro refused to work with him:

“The casting person told my manager that Robert De Niro said he refused to work with me in a movie.” 

The De Niro clapped back on Page Six with a story under the headline: “Robert De Niro: Mickey Rourke is lying about ‘The Irishman’ snub.” And De Niro‘s rep said at the time:

“According to The Irishman producers, Jane Rosenthal and Emma Tillinger Koskoff, and casting director Ellen Lewis, Mickey Rourke was never asked to be in The Irishman nor was he ever even thought of, discussed or considered to be in the movie.”

That’s the latest spat to a feud that started in 1987 on the set of the movie Angel Heart. Rourke said that he looked up to De Niro at the time, but he says the actor was not nice to him on set.

Not anymore; this is Mickey today, on Instagram:

“Hey Robert De Niro, that’s right i am talking to you, you big f–king crybaby. A friend of mine just recently told me that a few months back you’re quoted as saying to newspapers ‘Mickey Rourke’s a liar he talks all kind of shit.’ Listen Mr.Tough Guy in the movies, you’re the 1st person that ever called me a liar and it was in a newspaper. Let me tell you something, you punk ass, when i see you i swear to God on my Grandmother, on my brother and all my dogs, i gonna embarrass you severally 100%. Mickey Rourke ‘as God is my witness.’”

Wow, it must be bad if Mickey’s channeling Scarlett O’Hara.

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Johnny Depp’s libel suit against The Sun is being heard in a courtroom in London and rumor has it that his exes Vanessa Paradis and Winona Ryder might testify on his behalf, saying he’s a good man, as some other exes of his have said. Penelope Cruz, who didn’t date Johnny but worked with him a few times, submitted a declaration in which vouching for his character, but …

Amber Heard, the ex-Missus Depp will also be heard and so, mud will be flung. Amber will tell the story that Johnny did get violet, as he ALLEGEDLY did with her, with another ex, Kate Moss.

Amber has already testified that for three days in March 2015, Johnny held her hostage in their Australian rental, and repeatedly beat her and threatened to kill her. According to Amber, she heard from two people that Johnny had pushed Kate down the stairs, and she thought he might do the same to her sister, Whitney Heard and that’s why she attacked him.

Oh, Amber. Hearsay.

Johnny’s lawyer accused Amber of making up the part about Kate Moss, as she had never once mentioned Kate’s name in any deposition or testimony before now, and Amber responded:

“I have not had the liberty of time, space or energy to list every incident that’s listed in these proceedings.”

:::coughcoughbullshitcoughcough:::

You’ve had years since you two split, honey. Take a step forward, Amber, and move on.

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Khloé Kardastrophe got into a little spat about money with designer, Christian Cowan, over something called the Kardastrophe Kloset, which sounds like a room where that Klan keeps the blood of young virgins and the phone numbers of every plastic surgeon on the planet. But, apparently, it’s a website where the Kardastrophes sell their used Klothing for Koins.

And yet it seems that one of Christopher Cowan’s dresses that he loaned Khloe—meaning she never paid for it—ended up in the Krypt Kloset and Khloe never paid for it. See, she borrows clothes and then sells them herself. I guess the Kardastrophes are having Kash issues??

Christian hit at Khloé on Instagram, posting a screenshot of his dress up for sale on her site, and asked the question:

“@khloekardashian why are my runway samples I loaned you being sold on your website? We’ve emailed 3 times and had no response.”

A similar dress from Cowan’s Spring 2020 collection retails for $1,950 and Khloé’ was asking for $1,300 for the Kardastrophe stained garment. Oy, such a bargain.

And a source—and you know it’s the Devil herself, that Woman—is saying:

“The dress was gifted to her through her stylist without a mention of a loan and it was never asked to be returned.”

:::coughcoughbullshitcoughcough:::

And yet, oddly enough the Cowan dress is no longer on the site.

Looks like the Kardastrophes need Koins … either for Khloe’s addiction to changing her face as often as I change my shoes or for what might be a long hospital stay in the future for one Kanye Kardastrophe.

Just sayin’.

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A few weeks back we talked about Elton John’s 1987 marriage to a woman, Renate Blauel, and how it ended rather quickly because he’s a homo and how she stayed out of the limelight all these years; until now.

See, Renate filed a lawsuit against Elton because he … talked about their marriage. And she claims she and John had an agreement that they’d never publicly discuss it—which she says Elton breached in both his bestselling memoir, Me: Elton John, and the recent biopic Rocketman, and now she wants coins.

Her lawyer, Yisrael Hiller, says:

“The case is about restoring the privacy that she felt was agreed to be protected when she and Mr. John entered into a divorce in 1988. This was the only option she had left … she wants to ensure her privacy going forward, that in turn has a big impact on her mental health issues.”

And so, she wants $3.8 million from Elton.

I guess her privacy is costly, but I wonder why she didn’t say anything before the book came out or while the film was in production because then she might have been able to put the kibosh on it. I mean, you can’t unpublish a book or make anyone who's seen Rocketman forget the short, short, short scenes regarding their marriage.

Sorry, Renate, it smells like a money grab.

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I Ain;t One To Gossip But ...

About a week ago, 27-year-old singer August Alsina—and, to be fair, I have no idea who he is—revealed that he had had an affair with  48-year-old Jada Pinkett-Smith a few years ago and fell in love with her. Okay, whatever; but then he also dropped a nugget about having Jada’s husband, Will Smith’s approval to bang his wife. Okay, whatever, because there have long been rumors that Will and Jada are not the most monogamous couple on the planet and rumors have also swirled that Will may swing both ways.

BUT … where this story gets rich is that as soon as Alsina told his tale, Will and Jada jumped on it and said it never happened, wasn’t true, and that Alsina was a flat-out liar.

BUT … now the Smiths have come clean. Jada even used her Facebook talk show, Red Table Talk, to admit that she’d had an affair with Alsina but that … wait for it because it stinks like the first time … she and Will were separated at the time.

::::coughbullshitcough:::

Jada and Will ran to Jada’s “show” to talk about her ahem, ‘relationship’ and began by lying again when they said their denial of the affair didn’t come from them; oh, yeah, it came from your people who work for you, and say what you want them to say, but when they heard Jada was banging a two decades younger man they released a denial on their own?

::::coughbullshitcough:::

Jada also mumbled some mess about “healing” over the separation and that about four years ago, she met August—who was a friend of her son, Jaden—and that August was “really, really sick” at the time and it was all about helping him; cuz banging him will soothe what ails him since Jada’s vagina has healing qualities.

::::coughbullshitcough:::

 She also ALLEGED that Will had dumped her ass shortly before she began banging her son’s friend; or as she called it, an “entanglement,” as in their limbs are all entangled on the bed at the closest No-Tell Motel.

So, Jada thought Will was ever going to talk to her again—wonder what caused that split, because her banging her son’s friend didn’t end the marriage—and she just wanted to feel good and August heal his mental state.

::::coughbullshitcough:::

And so she used her therapeutic vagina to help someone with mental issues by f**king ‘em?

Will and Jada ended the episode by saying this together:

“We ride together, we die together, bad marriage for life!”

::::coughbullshitcough:::

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I don’t generally relish in a couple’s marriage falling apart, but this time, well, my shallow mind and black heart perked up a little bit.

My-Husband-In-My-Head, Armie Hammer and his wife, Elizabeth Chambers are finished. Now, while they have ALLEGEDLY been quarantining on a tropical island somewhere, Armie says they split up in January … perhaps on my birthday? As a secret message to me?

But, while Armie and Elizabeth filed for divorce at the same time, he says January was the end, and she says July; she wants custody of the kids and he wants shared custody. She says it was “irreconcilable differences” and he says it’s because he loves me.

Well, something like that, I think. At any rate, Armie, if you need to, un, “talk,” I’m here.

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And now for another story of the sad lives of the rich, famous, and clearly delusional … Robert De Niro was forced to cut his ex-wife, Grace Hightower’s, monthly American Express limit from $100,000 to $50,000 because he’s taken a financial hit during the pandemic.

Yes, the Nobu restaurants and luxury hotel he has stakes in have been closed—or partially closed—since March and he isn’t making as many coins.

But De Niro failed to mention that the Nobu brand received between $11 million and $28 million in PPP loans welfare from the government, so take a seat Bobby. When you are struggling to pay your rent or put food on the table, rather than kvetching about your poor ex-wife only being allowed to spend $50,000 of your bucks a month, maybe you’ll look less like a self-entitled, one percent prick.

And yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.

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Now for a guessing game … in these Pandemic Times, under lockdown, we’ve seen a rash of celebrity breakups. But rumor has it that one celebrity couple broke up over Black Lives Matter because one half supports BLM and the other might be an All Lives Matter fool.

But who could it be … here’s the list of broken relationships in the time of COVID-19:

Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy
Thomas Middleditch and Mollie Gates
Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green
Jaime King and Kyle Newman
Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock
Christina Ricci and James Heerdegen
Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler
Kacey Musgraves and Ruston Kelly
Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey
Dr. Dre and Nicole Young
Jordana Brewster and Andrew Form
Grace Gummer and Tay Strathairn

Armie Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers

Well, it might just be Armie Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers because this rumor went viral right after they announced their split. And, after a quick perusal of their individual Instagram accounts, you find that Armie’s is full of Black Lives Matter stuff and Elizabeth’s is not … at all.

All the more reason for Armie to call me.

Just sayin’.

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Mother of the Century,  and Boxed Wine Enthusiast, Dina Lohan is all set to get married, y’all. And it was a rough go. It was just last year that Mama Lohan announced she and her boyfriend, Jesse Nadler, had broken up after five years because in those five years they had never met in person and something seemed off.

And this time it wasn’t Dina.

Cut to 2020 and a pandemic and Jesse FedEx’d a ring to Dina and the couple will walk down the aisle, hopefully in the same room because Diona says they will definitely meet in person before the wedding.

I give it about six minutes after the ‘I do’s’.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Alan Dershowitz, law “professor” and member of _____’s impeachment defense team, speaking of _____ and of The Clinton Foundation in 2016:

“When you compare that to what _____ has done with _____ University, with so many other things, I think there’s no comparison between who has engaged in more corruption and who is more likely to continue that if elected President of the United States. So I think what we’re doing is we’re comparing, we’re saying, look, neither candidate is anywhere close to perfect, let’s vote for the less bad candidate.”

And yet in 2020 Dershowitz is saying the opposite.

Why? Coins and media coverage. That’s what Dershowitz craves. Coins and media coverage.

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Bowen Yang, SNL cast member, on being a survivor of gay conversion therapy and his relationship with his parents today:

“The first few sessions were talk therapy, which I liked, and then it veers off into this place of, ‘Let’s go through a sensory description of how you were feeling when you’ve been attracted to men.’ And then the counselor would go through the circular reasoning thing of, ‘Well, weren’t you feeling uncomfortable a little bit when you saw that boy you liked?’ And I was like, ‘Not really.’ He goes, ‘How did your chest feel?’ And I was like, ‘Maybe I was slouching a little bit.’ And he goes, ‘See? That all stems from shame.’ It was just crazy. Explain the gay away with pseudoscience. I had this second coming out [to my parents] while I was in college and went through this whole flare-up again with them, where they couldn’t accept it. And then eventually, I just got to this place of standing firm and being like, ‘This is sort of a fixed point, you guys. I can’t really do anything about this. So either you meet me here or you don’t meet me.’”

It pains me to see parents put their children through this therapy torture rather than just loving them and understanding them and accepting them.

It’s the parents who need therapy, not the LGBTQ+ kids.

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Ron Reagan, son of President Ronald Reagan, on what his father would think of _____:

“My father would—although he might not use words like this because he was a fairly genteel person—my father would pinch _____’s empty head off and shit down his flabby neck. My father would have been ashamed of this Republican Party. He would have been embarrassed and ashamed that a president of the United States was as incompetent and traitorous as the man occupying the White House now. He’s a disgrace to the office of the presidency.”

He’s not the only one embarrassed by the GOP; they’ll be embarrassed themselves when the populace turns on them; embarrassed they aided and abetted a traitor.

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Robert De Niro, accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 2020 SAG Awards:

"I can imagine some of you saying, 'Alright, OK, stay out of politics,' but we're in such a dire situation, so deeply concerning to me and to so many others, I have to say something. And I thought I said it pretty well to Variety the other day, so I'm going to quote myself. There's right and there's wrong, and there's common sense, and there's abuse of power, and as a citizen I have as much right as anybody, an actor, an athlete, a musician, or anybody else to voice my opinion."

Citizens have the right to speak up, and if your job, your position, affords you a larger stage from which to speak, so be it.

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Pink, singer, in a letter to herself about aging:

“Dear Me, you’re getting older. I see lines. Especially when you smile. Your nose is getting bigger. You look(and feel) weird as you get used to this new reality. But your nose looks like your kids, and your face wrinkles where you laugh. And yeah you idiot … [you] smoked … Continued note to self: Every once in a while you consider altering your face, and then you watch a show where you want to see what the person is feeling … and their face doesn’t move. I’m cannot get behind it. I just can’t. I want my children to know what I look like when I’m angry. I’m fortunate because I’ve never really depended on my looks. I’ve decided that my talent and my individuality is far more important than my face. So get on board cause I am about to AGE THE OL FASHIONED WAY (in a tutu ruling shit at 30 mph 100 ft in the air over 40) yasssssssss!”

That’s a message a lot of people, women and med, need to hear.

Pink rocks.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Scottish acting hottie Richard Madden, right, was recently seen kind of embracing openly gay actor Brandon Flynn, left, while they are sharing a home in Los Angeles together, so they are obviously a couple?

Well, Richard Madden isn’t saying.

Madden, who plays Elton John’s first manager/ex-boyfriend John Reid in the Rocketman, is giving all kinds of interviews and, of course, since he’s playing gay onscreen, the reporters want to know which way he swings in real life, but Richard wants to keep that private:

“I just keep my personal life personal. I’ve never talked about my relationships.”

And he’s trying his best to beat the paparazzi at their own game while he and Brandon enjoy LA:

“I wear the same clothes days in a row, because if it looks like the same day, they can’t run the pictures. There’s only so many photos you can have of me with a green juice walking down the street.”

Good idea, but then there’s the pictures of Madden and Flynn wearing matching necklaces, the same kind of necklace that Richard gave to his ex-Jenna Coleman.

Well, maybe there was a sale?

At any rate, gay or not, they make a lovely couple.

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Sacha Baron Cohen, trying to stay relevant, has sunk to using Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson as the arbiter of his relevance.

According to The Daily Beast, Cohen has confirmed—though no one apparently even asked—that Pam and Kid Rock’s 4-month marriage ended in divorce because of Borat .

Seriously. Cohen says that Pam was in on the joke when his character Borat attempted to kidnap her at a Virgin Megastore book signing by throwing a bag on her head after she refused his proposal of marriage. Well, when the film came out in 2006—see, the relevance is over a decade old—Pam had recently married Kid Rock and then filed for divorce a few weeks later after they attended a screening of Borat. When it was over, Kid Rock “started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, ‘You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?’”

Cohen says Pam texted him after and when he asked how it went, she told him the marriage was over because of “the movie.”

Sheesh, and I thought it just ended Cohen’s career.

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I guess  DJ Khaled’s parents never taught him that winning is everything, because big boy is throwing a mighty big hissy fit lately.

It appears that the rapper-producer is ALLEGEDLY fuming at his record label because his newest album, “Father of Asahd,” failed to debut at the top of the charts and instead landed all the way down at … Number 2.

Khaled then ALLEGEDLY stormed into Epic records with an entourage, temper flaring, angry and yelling, and blaming his Second Place Showing on label executive’s not understanding streaming services and bundle deals.

Publicly, Khaled is all about positivity, but rumor has it that he, and he alone, overhyped the record and blew it up as his biggest album ever and, oops, it wasn’t.

He also went off because an estimated 100,000 downloads of his album that were sold through a bundle deal with an energy drink weren’t included in his sales by Billboard. And he’s upset that his label didn’t demand the numbers be included so he could be Number One, instead of a stinky Number two.

Rich people problems. My heart aches for him.

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In the grand scheme of things, this really is just a pittance, but still … the divorce settlement between Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower is messy because she wants $250 million. I call that a pittance after Mackenzie Bezos nabbed $37 billion.

De Niro and Hightower, who split last year after 20 years together, are fighting over money; this really isn’t a surprise because it was just a couple of years ago that De Niro publicly whined about doing sh*tty movies because Hightower was spending so many coins. And so now, even though there is a prenup giving Grace far less, the bickering couple and their lawyers are trying to hash a settlement where she wants $250 million of his $500 million and he says, What the f**k?

Hightower has filed six subpoenas for De Niro’s financial records to prove he’s got the money, and that half should be hers except that when the couple remarried in 2004—they first married  in 1997 and divorced in 1999—she signed  a rigid prenup that limited her to a $6 million apartment, $500,000 in cash, and $1 million a year in alimony.

DeNiro’s lawyers are also, What the f**k, Grace, that is your signature on the prenup right?

I mean, yes, they were married a while, but she signed the deal, and she’s getting an NYC apartment, 500K in fast cash, and a million a year for life.

Take a seat, Grace, you made your prenup, and never bothered to upgrade so …

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Oh god, do I have to talk about Madonna again?

Short answer: yes. See, Madonna, who says she was raped years ago as a teenager, but never reported it, and then claimed a few years ago that having some of her music leaked before her album dropped was similar to being raped, is now crying rape again because …

She is not happy with her New York Times profile, most importantly that her favorite photo from the interview wasn’t :::gasp:::: used in the piece and slammed the newspaper as “one of the founding fathers of the Patriarchy”:

“To say that I was disappointed in the article would be an understatement- It seems. You cant [sic] fix society And its endless need to diminish, Disparage or degrade that which they know is good. Especially strong independent women.”

For the love of goddess, Madge, learn to spell, learn about punctuation, learn about grammar and learn that even Madonna doesn’t get everything she wants and when she doesn’t it isn’t because she’s a woman, or because she’s sixty, and it most assuredly isn’t rape.

I think women who’ve actually been sexually assaulted, and you count yourself among them, might disagree that a profile in the New York Times with a picture you don’t like, is not the same thing.

Siddown, hag.

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