Saturday, November 30, 2013

Random Musings ... Delayed By The Holiday

With tomorrow being World AIDS Day, this is good news ...

Last week President Obama signed into law a new bill approved by Congress — surprisingly with significant bipartisan support — that lifts the ban on organ donations by HIV-positive people to other folks with HIV.

Obama signed the legislation — the HIV Organ Policy Equity Act, or HOPE Act — to provide the opportunity for people with HIV to receive organ donations, saying:
“The potential for successful organ transplants between people living with HIV has become more of a possibility. The HOPE Act lifts the research ban, and, in time, it could lead to live-saving organ donations for people living with HIV while ensuring the safety of the organ transplant process and strengthening the national supply of organs for all who need them.”
The ban had been enacted in 1988 and with World AIDS Day being tomorrow this is another great step forward by the Obama administration.
What’s with TV these days?

It used to be we had Must See TV, but lately it seems we have WTF TV.
The CBS drama Hostages is just about the most unreal storyline on TV. Interesting? Maybe; but based on any kind of fact? Hardly.

And do not get me started on Homeland, where :::SPOILERS AHEAD::: last week’s episode had Carrie sneaking suspected terrorist — and her baby daddy — Brody off the military base where he was being held so he could be used as a weapon against Iran, to visit his daughter.
Yes, the CIA let a woman who had an affair with a suspected terrorist, and then she helped that same suspected terrorist escape the country, simply drive away with him for a familial visit before he was sent to Iran to kill a general.

And speaking of stupid … The American Music Awards, er, the AMAs.

Lady Gaga arrived on a horse which caused me to look at my TV screen and shriek, “…and the horse you rode in on!” Then she followed that with a performance where she was dressed as a Marilyn Monroe knock-off who was dry humped by “President” R Kelly.

Katy Perry sang her new song,”Unconditional” dressed as a geisha though the song has nothing to do with Japanese culture. I guess she just wanted to wear a kimono?

Miley sang “Wrecking Ball” — thankfully, fully clothed — with a giant pussy cat lip-syncing behind her. The cat even shed a tear at the same time Miley did so that shows you how real it was; plus, I’ve seen better special effects on H.R. Pufnstuf.

Justin Timberlake was smug and smarmy and, well, Justin Timberlake, while Taylor Swift Aw Shucked her way onto the stage a couple of times.

Ariana Grande sang like she was the love child of Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera. Mariah better watch her step.

And speaking of Christina, who knew Aguilera would just sing, without histrionics, without weird costumes, cartoon cats, or shagging a fictional politician. She just sang.
Alec Baldwin's MSNBC show has been canceled after he used an anti-gay slur in one of his rants against photographers, but maybe, maybe, his dismissal came about for other reasons, too ... He's a diva

Besides demanding a humidifier because he claimed the air at the studio was too dry, Baldwin alienated staffers when he demanded to use a separate makeup room that was already being used by a woman with cancer who is sensitive to hairspray.

When Baldwin was told he couldn’t have his way, he ALLEGEDLY bellowed: "I don't give a f**k if she has cancer or not, I want that f**king makeup room!”

I bet there are a lot of folks who are glad he got the boot.
Everyone’s talking about The Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper coming out on the show this week, but, um, yeah, he was already out.

What he did, however, was to share his story about coming out with a contestant who was struggling with the issue himself.
"I haven’t talked about my sexuality on this show ever. And now, meeting Bobby, I really do believe this is the right time. I want to show Bobby that he doesn’t have to live in shame. When I came out, when I was 17 years old, it was one of those things where I realized that there was going to be so many obstacles, but being gay doesn’t mean being weak. And being gay doesn’t mean that you are less than anybody else. It’s just who you are.”—Bob Harper
So, please, don’t ask that we here at HOMO HQ send Harper his Gay Agenda and Toaster Oven. He’s been out all along, y’all.

Though he does look mighty fine.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Recently in Gossip we talked Chris Brown’s stint in rehab for anger management that was scheduled to last ninety days but ended at about 14 days. His peeps said he left early because he had to finish his community service from the time he beat the crap outta Rihanna, but, yeah, that was a lie.

Chris Brown was kicked out of the program for throwing a rock at his mother’s car.

Really, Chris Brown??

According to the probation report, Chris’ mom showed up for a family session and was urging him to stay in the facility for extended treatment but Chris wasn’t playing that. He disagreed with Mama Brown, stomped out of the session, grabbed a handful of rocks and threw them at her car, shattering the windows.

Yeah, he don’t need no stinking anger management. Jail would be better.
Kanye. Oy. He’s talking again, and by talking I mean whining like the little bitch he is.

First up: Bruno Mars. At a stop on his Yeezus Tour — which I take to mean, Yeezus Christ You’re A Douche — Miss Kanye bitched to the crowd about the MTV Video Music Awards:
“I’m sitting there, I’m trying to enjoy mother**kers performing, and sh*t. I’m looking, I’m watching Drake perform, I see Bruno Mars perform, and sh*t. And then they start giving out awards and sh*t, and Bruno Mars won all the mother**king awards, and sh*t.”
Actually, Bruno only won two awards, for “Locked Out of Heaven” and “Treasure” but Kanye wouldn’t know the truth if it looked like Kim’s ass and bitchslapped him.

Next up: The Fashion World
“You seen my interview on Jimmy Kimmel talking about how I want to do clothes, how I want support and sh*t. And y’all say, ‘Why can’t he just do it by his self?’ Well, I want to let you know I signed my deal a week and a half ago.”
Of course, he didn’t bother to mention with whom he signed a deal, but I think he might be joining Kim in the bargain bin at Sears.

Next up: Nike CEO Mark Parker.
“They tried to make [the shoe I designed] as small as possible. Mark Parker even talked sh*t, talking about, ‘We don’t even know why people like the Yeezys’. They like ‘em like they like the Jordans, because I was in fourth grade getting kicked out for drawing Jordans.”
Uh huh.

Lastly: Getting Kim on the cover of Vogue

Kanye is really pushing for Kim to get her own Vogue cover and Anna Wintour still isn’t buying it. But Kanye has ALLEGEDLY already created his own cover; a wedding cover, with Kim — not Kanye — in the wedding gown. And he has ALLEGEDLY hired Mario Testino to shoot the pictures and asking Testino to speak to Wintour on Kim’s behalf.

Like anyone, even Kanye’s big ego teamed with Kim’s big ass could get Anna Wintour to put a Kardastrophe on Vogue.

Yeezus needs to sit down.
Courtney Stodden. The ginormous boobed teenager who married a man old enough o be her grandpappy and is now divorcing him is also making news.

She wore a completely see-through negligee to the Pop Fashion and Sport Event. She is possibly being paid to attend these events and look like a blow-up doll because she has no discernible skills.

She says she will not do porn, which means she’ll be doing porn.

She wants to be the new Lady Gaga. A source — probably her soon-to-be-ex — says she is “obsessed with launching her music career… She is confident she can be the next Lady Gaga—but on an ever larger scale.” You know, because of the large scale boobs.

She won’t say ‘No’ if ABC offered to make her the new Bachelorette. I think the season should be sub-titled Jumped The Shark with Stodden’s Boobs.

She says her marriage ended not because her husband was alive when JFK was hot and her own parents were not yet born, but because Doug was “slowing down” and he couldn’t have sex with her as much as she wanted: “Our sex was good, I’m not going to lie, but I’m a young girl who wants to experience sex of all kinds and he’s an older man who’s slowing down a bit. I wanted more sex.” 

I threw up a little in my mouth just typing that.
New Year’s Eve will be Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris’s first wedding anniversary — speaking of young boob-enhanced girls marrying men old enough to be their grandpas, or in Crystal’s case, her great-grandpa.

And the marriage has been quiet, even after Crystal ditched Hef at the altar the first go-round to take some time and think about marrying Moses while she banged Dr. Phil’s son while Phil watched. ALLEGEDLY.

And now, one year in, BIG SURPRISE, rumor has it that the 27-year-old and the 87-year-old don’t have that much in common and their marriage is plagued with problems.

Like she doesn’t care where he was when he heard the news that Lincoln was shot. And he doesn’t know an iPad from an IUD. He doesn’t want to go out lest he venture to far from a bathroom and she doesn’t want to stay in and want reruns of the Golden Girls. He plays Dominoes, she plays Guess How Many Rolled Up Newspapers I Can Carry Under My Breasts. His favorite movie star: Lillian Gish—Google her—and her fave movie star: Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

Yeah, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that an 87-year-old man and a 27-year-old chemistry experiment have much in common.
Aaron Carter, former pop star is kinda broke.

According to legal documents, his assets total $8,232.16 while his liabilities total $2,204,854. Yup, worth 8 thou, owes 2 mil; you don’t have to be Einstein to see where this is headed. Carter  also owes nearly $1.5 million to the IRS.

He listed all of his assets — including his dog, who was given a monetary value of $0.00 — while his other assets include:

61″ flat screen worth $500; 2 MacBooks; 2 Headset Mics; mini keyboard; Portable Beats; One guitar; $60 in cash; 1 Louis Vuitton backpack; a Brietling watch worth $3,750.
He’s living with relatives right now.

Hopefully the dog is living with someone who can afford Kibble.
Remember when Kanye first hooked up with The Kash Kow  Kim Kardastrophe? 

Remember how he said he wouldn’t ever appear on her “show” and then he did? 

Remember when he said he wanted to be left alone, but then he paraded his baby mama out dressed like a sofa? 

Remember when he said he wanted his privacy?

He lied.

‘Now the rumor is saying that when Kim and Kanye do get married  ALLEGEDLY next summer — that the nuptials will be televised.

Because Kim learned nothing from turning her last 2-month marriage into a TV show.
I am not a fan of Beyoncé. Take away the glitter and the hip thrusts and the wind machine and she’s the girl who makes my Latte in the morning.

Beyoncé lives in Beyoncé World where everything’s coming up Beyoncé, made by Beyoncé, designed by Beyoncé, sold by Beyoncé, for Beyoncé. When she wants something for Beyoncé, it’s done by and for and how Beyoncé wants it. ALLEGEDLY. 

But then she wanted to visit the Great Pyramids at Giza and she ended up being banned.

Jay Z say what?

It seems Beyoncé wanted a private tour of the pyramids all to herself, and asked renowned archaeologist Zahi Hawass to be her guide, but then she was late, kept him waiting and when she showed up, rather than  apologize, she turned on a wind machine, thrust her junk at him and said, er, lip-synced, "I’m Beyoncé.”

Hawass, the former Egyptian Minister of State for Antiquities, tells the story:

“She said she would come at 3PM but she came late. I said ‘You have to say I’m sorry I’m late’. But she didn’t open her mouth. I brought a photographer and she also had a photographer and a guard. When my photographer started to shoot, he said ‘No, Stop! I am the one who says yes or no, not you.’ I said ‘In that case since you almost hit my photographer and you are not polite — out! I am not giving you the privilege of having you on my tour.’ I said Beyoncé was stupid and I left.”

Snap. Beyoncé. Dissed by an archaeologist!
LeAnn Rimes got into more Twitter drama; this time with an ex. No, not her adulterous husband Eddie Cibrian’s ex, but her own ex Dean Sheremet.

 Dean and LeAnn don’t seem to speak or acknowledge each other ever. After their divorce — where he no doubt got a sizable payout so she could marry the married man she’d been schtupping — he moved to New York, went to culinary school and got married to a not-insane girl.

But last month he gave an interview where he talked about LeAnn, and that started new drama which LeAnn naturally took to Twitter.

It all began when a Twitterer, calling themselves Da Giggle Factory — and may, or may not, have actually been LeAnn using a fake account — posted a picture of LeAnn and Dean with the caption, “Remember the good old days when @leannrimes was just a chubby country bumpkin married to a gay dude?”

Rimes reTweeted, and Tweeted back, “hahahaha I’m gonna choose to laugh at this”

Dean Tweeted back, “Laugh away-Who’s the bully now?” He was referring o LeAnn’s recent stint in rehab for the stress caused by Twitter bullies.

Dean then wrote Tweeted  a message to both Rimes and the NOH8 Campaign: “I don’t do twitter wars, but I do hate ignorance.”

Then LeAnn — because her last album sank like a stone and she has nothing to do — did The Twitter Backtrack, Tweeting that she “laughing” at herself, and said Sheremet’s “not gay and there’s nothing wrong” if he was: “I have always & will always support the [gay] community.”

LeAnn needs a job, something away from a computer, but also something she can do while watching Eddie because you just know he’ll cheat on her like he did Wife #1.

Sidenote:  Rumor has it that LeAnn spends most of her time on Twitter responding to herself through various Twitter handles that she’s created for herself.

Basically she talks to herself. Online. Under assumed names. Oy.
Remember Michaele Salahi, who crashed a White House party with her husband Tareq, then showed up on Real Housewives of DC acting like a complete lunatic before she was drummed off the show, disappeared, and then reappeared in the bed of former Journey guitarist Neal Schon?

Well,  Michaele and Schon have announced their engagement and also said that their wedding will be televised as a pay-per-view “event” for the low low price of $14.99.
I’d rather head to the WalMart bargain bin and get a used copy of The Runaway Bride for $17.99.

Seriously? A reality show trainwreck and a has-been guitarist want to sell their wedding to the world. The world ain’t buying kids.
I apologize for the  Kanye overdose this week, but he is the gift that keeps on giving.

And before we get going on his idiocy, let’s giggle for a moment at the reviews for the Yeezus tour, most of which use the words ‘egomaniacal’ and ‘crazy’ and, my favorite, ‘bonkers’ when describing Miss West and her onstage rants at anyone who thinks she isn’t All that and a bag of chips.

Performing at Madison Square Garden recently, Kanye went off on Hedi Slimane, the former Dior designer and current creative director for Saint Laurent, for not treating him like a ‘god’:

“He was once a friend of mine, in the time of Christian Dior. And I used to wear his tight-ass jeans when I was on tour and get called names for it . . . And Hedi Slimane was a god who didn’t serve no bullsh*t … but it takes a god to recognize another god. So when he told me you can come to my show, but you can’t come to see Phoebe [Philo] and you can’t come to see Riccardo [Tisci], that was odd. He tried to control me! He tried to tell me where I could go!”

And no one, NO ONE, keeps Kanye from Riccardo, if you get my meaning.

Just sayin’. He sounds like a woman scorned.
I loathe Justin Timberlake. After watching the American Music Awards — okay, I DVRd it and watched the three hour show in 22 minutes — I came to the conclusion that JT is really TSwifty with a beard. They both have that same phony Aw shucks mentality while acting like they deserve every accolade and more.

And JT takes it a step further, acting like he can do anything. While accepting an award he began to speak in a Bajan accent  suddenly he's Rihanna  to kind of remind people that he can do anything — except make a hit movie — because he was  nominated for “Pop, Rock, and Soul R-and-B.”

He can do it all, y’all, except, like I said, have a hit movie if he plays anything other than a side note character.
Clint Eastwood‘s daughter, Francesca, is seeking an annulment from Jordan Feldstein—manager of Robin Thicke and Adam Levine and brother to Jonah Hill—after less than a week of marriage.

Sources close to the couple — possibly Clint’s soon-to-be ex-wife, and Kris Jenner wannabe, Dina — say the “wedding’ fueled by alcohol. Francesca and Jordan were legally married in a cheesy Vegas wedding chapel by Elvis impersonator.

Holy Britney Spears!

And Francesca had immediate regrets…

Funny, straight folks can get drunk and get married and then call it quits in a matter of hours all they want, but The Gays threaten the sanctity of marriage.
So, remember Paris Hilton’s sex tape?

I mean it came out sometime in the last decade when she was still kind of relevant, but now, NOW, she’s filing suit against a Slovenian website called, which has apparently been showing clips of Paris’ clips and bits to drive traffic.

And so now, NOW, she wants it stopped and she wants to get paid for it. She wants the domain name transferred to her because if anyone’s gonna make money off of Paris’ skankitude it better be Paris.

And Rick Salomon who first sold the tape about a hundred years ago.

Is this for real? Are people, any people, still interested enough in Paris Hilton to pay to see her gettin’ did? Or is it as I think, just more of Paris trying to keep herself in the news because, let’s face it, she’s as over as twerking.

Friday, November 29, 2013

My Subdivision Looks Like A What?

People pick the neighborhoods in which they want to live in for a variety of reasons.

It’s close to work; it’s far enough away to be a haven. It’s on a main road; it’s off the beaten track. It’s a new neighborhood; it’s an established neighborhood.

But some folks in England aren’t happy about their neighborhood because, well, from Google Earth, it resembles a penis. And they think that Phallus Subdivision might cause the price of their homes to drop.

Locals on George Road, Edward Road and Yeoman Cottages in Hoylake, Merseryside, England say they have become a "laughing stock" since the uncanny likeness was spotted on Google Earth, and they say the value of their homes — which sell for around $320,000 — could be seriously affected by the discovery. And so they are demanding that Google Earth remove their Giant Genitalia Hood from the search engine.

"We are definitely worried it would put off potential buyers if we ever wanted to sell," homeowner Carl Hodge. "Who would want to live in the cul-de-sac that everyone is taking the mick out of? They say Google Earth is fascinating and people spend hours on it, but it has been a nightmare for us."

It's unclear whether the architect who created the homes and the subdivision in the late 50s designed them to be penis-like, or if it was just a happy accident, but, seriously, he’d have to have known what shape it took when he laid it out. That architect, Dick House, couldn’t be reached for comment.

I kid. I don’t know if his name is Dick House ….. or Richard House.

I kid. But theirs isn’t the only Google Earth Penis. No, there is also the Christian Science Society of Dixon, Illinois with its phallus-shaped meeting hall and, if they think living in PenisHood might be a distraction, howsabout living in the NaziHood; a housing estate in Devizes, Britain, which looks like a swastika.

Just sayin’.

Would You Hit It?

It's a simple question .... Elijah Wood. 


Yes or No?

I Didn't Say It ....

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