The Funny Papers

Steve Breen, John Cole, Mike Smith, Clay Bennett, Dana Summers, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, David Horsey, Jack Ohman

Random Musings

That’s Consuelo Roca-Jones, our Homo, er, Home Office ManagerCat. Caught loafing on the job again.

PS That's Tuxedo, on the floor, sleeping through his appointment, apparently.

This is a problem?

Due to their innovative waste-to-energy, AKA recycling, program Sweden is facing a new crisis: they are running out of garbage. Sweden’s waste management and recycling programs are second to none as only 4% of the nation’s waste ends up in landfills. In the US, nearly 50% of our crap goes back into the ground.

Since the Swedish manage waste so effectively and then use what remains to partly power their country, they are now living an environmentalist’s dream: a shortage of garbage.

Speaking of garbage … Anthony Weiner. How’s that for a segue, huh?

Well, actually, I want to discuss one Sydney Leathers—also garbage—who is just one of the women with whom Anthony Weiner engaged in explicit exchanges online. Looking for her fifteen minutes of fame as an online sexting addict, Leathers is now saying she feels “manipulated” by the Weiner.

And that’s her exact problem; that and the fact that she is no better than Carlos Danger because she engages in the same behavior as he does and then plays the Poor Me card.

STFU Syd, you’re an idiot.

Louis Rispoli, a gay rights activist and well-known fixture in the Woodside neighborhood where he lived for 32 years, was murdered nine months ago and his killers are still on the loose. But this week in his honor, the street where Lou lived, 51st St. and 43rd Avenue, was named in his memory: it’s called Louis Rispoli Way.

“This is a bittersweet day, with his killers till out there.” Danyal Lawson, Louis’ widow.

Last October, Rispoli went out to for milk just after two in the morning and he was beaten to death by three men in their 20s who got away in a white sports car. Police released a sketch of the suspects but they would never found.

The renaming of a street doesn’t help Danyal Lawson, but it is a reminder that Hate Crimes against LGBT citizens are on the rise.

RIP Louis.

I’m a huge fan of BBC America’s Copper. Sure, it’s your typical New York City police procedural, but this one takes place in Five Points in 1865 so it tells some of the same stories in a different way.

Of course, being shallow, and loving some Man Candy, it doesn’t hurt that one of the good-guys-turned-bad-guy-turned-maybe-good guy, Francis Maguire, is played by hottie Kevin Ryan.

OVERHEARD AT WORK

Straight Female Co-worker: I don't really have a gag reflex.

Bob: Did you add that to your Match.com profile?

Straight Female Co-worker: Shut up! You can't get married.

Bob: Actually, I am getting married.

Straight Female Co-worker: Well, you can't get married in South Carolina...

Bob: Apparently, neither can you...

I love this one ….

Cumulus Media, the nation's second-largest owner and operator of AM and FM radio stations, has not renewed the contracts of rightwingnut zealots Rush ‘Drug Addict’ Limbaugh and Sean ‘Tea Party Lapdog’ Hannity.

The decision comes after a breakdown of negotiations between Cumulus and Clear Channel "over the cost of the distribution rights," and supposedly has nothing to do with any comment made by either of the hosts.

Still, they’re gone from that company’s stations and I think the airwaves smell a little sweeter, and far more intelligent, now.

Last Monday, Pope Francis responded to a question about gay Catholic clergy by promising not to “judge” homosexual priests:

“Who am I to judge if they’re seeking the Lord in good faith? They shouldn’t be marginalized. The tendency [to homosexuality] is not the problem … they’re our brothers.”

And the world went nuts because the Pope loves The Gays except ….

He doesn’t. He just doesn’t judge, he still doesn’t want gay priests or same-sex marriage, he’s just passing the judgment buck to the man in the sky.

So, put away your I Love Pope Frankie t-shirts, nothing’s changed.

Oh, and speaking of marriage equality, congratulations Minnesota and Rhode Island, celebrating their first same-sex marriages.

The march goes on….

Nick Jonas is the latest celebri-moron to post a selfie on the interwebz, following in the tradition of, yes, Carlos Danger, Grampa Geraldo Rivera, and even my own beloved Huge Ackman.

Note to those self-obsessed selfie photographers: you look desperate.

Back to The Biggest Weiner ….

The bad news out of the Weiner campaign never ends. 

It seems that earlier this week the campaign staff awoke to see their former intern, Olivia Nuzzi, on the front cover of the Daily News telling a rather unflattering tale of her experience working on Anthony Weiner’s mayoral bid.

So now, Team Weiner is firing back; or at least his communications director Barbara Morgan is firing back with a barrel full of curses:. During her rant about Nuzzi, Morgan called the woman a fame hungry “bitch” who “sucked” at her job. She also Nuzzi a “slutbag,” “twat,” and “cunt” while threatening to sue her:

“I’m dealing with like stupid fucking interns who make it on to the cover of the Daily News even though they signed NDAs and/or they proceeded to trash me. And by the way, I tried to fire her, but she begged to come back and I gave her a second chance. Fucking slutbag. Nice fucking glamour shot on the cover of the Daily News. Man, see if you ever get a job in this town again.”

Naturally, as the Weiner camp is apt to do, time and again, Morgan apologized:

"In a moment of frustration, I used inappropriate language in what I thought was an off the record conversation. It was wrong and I am very sorry, which is what I said tonight when I called and emailed Olivia to apologize."

Off the record conversation with a news site? Hardly.

And don't get me started on those two 'reality' show whores and their latest court dates....

I loves me some Kristin Chenoweth. I loves me some Wicked. And I loves me some parody.

Random Musings

I’m always a fan of debate, even, at times, arguing, with someone over political and social issues. I like the discussion because, well, I have an opinion and don’t mind sharing it.

But I loathe what I call The Lame Argument™—you  know, the one where just because you say it, I should think it’s true. It’s like when people said, and some still say, that same-sex marriage will ruin traditional marriage as we know it and when you ask them how, you get crickets.

And one of the chief purveyors of The Lame Argument™ in the National Organization for Marriage [Nom] who never met a lie, or a non-fact that they didn’t use to spread their message of fear and loathing and intolerance.

Here’s their newest one: NOM is trying to say, via pseudo-scientific data, that same-sex marriage will lead to a rise in single motherhood, children in poverty, and—and this one is a doozy—the idea that men will leave their wives because they can marry other men.

Now, to be fair, this is kinda true, because maybe men who are gay, and deeply closeted, who married women because they felt a certain pressure, familial, societal, internal, to do so, might decide to leave that marriage because they are, wait for it, GAY!

But NOM doesn’t say that, they say ‘men’ will leave their wives meaning all men, all straight men will suddenly turn toward The Gay because, well, they can.

The Lame Argument™ courtesy of NOM.

Michelle Williams, brilliant actress and Oscar® nominee, is the new spokesperson for Louis Vuitton. That’s her in a new ad for the company and she looks pretty fierce.

Sadly though, this ad didn’t make the cut. Better luck next time Lindsay.

Let’s talk about Weiner. Not dick, though he’s kind of a dick, but Anthony Weiner.

When he was in Washington, I liked him, a lot. I liked that he stood for something and fought for something. And when the story first came out that maybe he was a serial sexter, and maybe he sent pictures of his bulging Calvin’s out over the internet, I thought it was an attack on him because he dined it from here to kingdom come. And people demanded he resign and IO believed him when he said it wasn’t him, except …

Then he admitted it that it was, and that he had and that he did. Then I wanted him gone, too, because he lied. Now, he’s done it again, and once again he’s asking us to kind of ignore it, except …

He.Didn’t.Learn.The.First.Time.

Get help, Anthony. You have a problem that has already ruined you in DC and may well ruin you in New York, but all that matters for nothing because it may well ruin your marriage because you don’t seem to realize you have an issue with sexting strangers and sending out pictures of your man bits.

Get out. Get help.

Now, onto some good news ….

Congratulations to Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson who married his boyfriend Justin Mikita last week in New York. After the ceremony—officiated by Tony Kushner—Ferguson Tweeted:

"Never been happier."

Congrats, guys!

Lotsa folks up in arms because President Obama said this about Trayvon Martin and reactions to the George Zimmerman verdict:

"When Trayvon Martin was first shot I said that this could have been my son. Another way of saying that is that Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago. When you think about in the African-American community, there’s a lot of pain around this. It’s important to recognize that the African-American community is looking at this issue through a set of experiences and a history that doesn’t go away. And I don’t want to exaggerate this, but those sets of experiences inform how the African-American community interprets what happened one night in Florida. And it’s inescapable for people to bring those experiences to bear. There are very few African-African men who haven’t had the experience of being followed in a department store. That includes me.”

People said he should say nothing, but you what? He has every right to say something. And you know what else; he wasn’t speaking as the President, trying to politicize the story. He was speaking as a Black man in America who knows what it’s like to be feared for your skin color, to be followed around a department store, to have people cross to the other side of the street when they see you coming.

He was letting all of us know that, even in America, even a man who could someday become president can still be a victim of racism on a daily basis.

That should be the discussion, not whether or not he should have said something.

Last week, while talking about the homoeroticsm, and the Man Candy, on MTV's Teen Wolf, I missed mentioning Ian Bohen.

Beef.Cake.

The Royal Baby.

I was over the story about 5 seconds after I heard Kate was pregnant. The only good thing about this birth is that people are no longer talking about the Kash Kow and Kanye demon spawn.

Boy oh boycott.

Folks are saying that The Gays should boycott the movie Ender's Game because the book upon which the film is based was written by a virulently anti-LGBT writer, and NOM board member, Orson Scott Card.

Well, count me in among those who boycott, though mainly I won't go because I have no desire to see the film, which seems like a Hunger Game's knock-off.

But, had I wished to see the film, I'd still boycott because, and this is the same logic I use for boycotting Chick-fil-A-hole, if I spend my ten bucks to see this film, part of that money will go into the bank account of a man who works tirelessly to deny me equality.

Just like if I eat that bigot chicken sandwich.

So, I'll keep my money, but, but, if you wish to see Ender's Game because, well, you wanna see it, go on and go, but maybe, just before going, you shoot off a donation to one of the many pro-equality groups for the price of the ticket. That way the pennies you give to Card will be outweighed by the dollars you give to Marriage Equality.

Just sayin'.

Now, that doesn't mean you can still go to Chick-fil-A-hole and send the price of a sammich to equality groups. You can get a chicken sandwich anywhere.

So, Caspar sent out that Tweet for JLo’s birthday and it makes me wonder, JLo is a bear? 

Who knew? But more than that, I thought to myself, that tweet is the 2013 equivalent of the construction paper coupon I gave to my mother when I was six for a Free Hug.

Just For Giggles: Weiner

So, Anthony Weiner is trying to stage a political comeback after being forced out of office for Tweeting underwear pictures of his, um, wiener.

He recently announced that he was running for mayor of New York City except .... the banner on the Weiner for Mayor website featured the silhouetted skyline of ... wait for it .... Pittsburgh.

Yes, he's running for mayor of one city but uses the skyline of another on his website. The company that created the site has apologized for their "honest mistake" and has updated the site  with pictures of, yes, finally, New York City.

Just A Thought On The Weiner

"Borrowed' from Joe.My.God.

Well, we've all heard the news by now that it was actually Anthony Weiner's weiner that was TwitPic', and not by a hacker, but by Anthony Weiner himself. And a lot of folks are calling it a silly scandal, and it is, but I keep wondering why? Why he did it, that is; why anyone does it. And what have we learned:

• Nothing is private anymore. Ever. Every picture you pout on the web becomes the property of the universe and could, and probably will, turn up at the most inopportune time. Especially when they are pictures of your body parts, underwear'd or not.
• Men love to send pictures of their crotch, Calvin Klein Covered or not, as kind of a Hello there. What is it about Cotton Covered Bangers and Mash, er, Meat and Potatoes, er, Cock and Balls, that says, I wanna send this to a woman I don't actually know but I've "talked" to online? 
• When you get caught, especially in this day and age, don't lie. You're going to get caught again, and make us suspect every single word that comes out of your mouth.
• Take a minute, before you email that picture, or Tweet it or Facebook it, or whatever else you might do with it, and ask yourself if you'd send it to your family, or place it in a lovely frame and display it in your home. If the answer is No, then Don't.Do.It. Unless you plan on explaining it to your family, your children, your spouse, your boss, or your country, sometime in the future.

I used to have such high hopes for Anthony Weiner. I loved his snark and sarcasm, and his way of calling out the GOP for being exactly who they are, The Party Of The Rich Only. But now, I wonder. I'll be taking everything he says with a grain of salt right now. See, Tweeting your Brief Bulge isn't a crime, I think; and it isn't wrong, per se. But it does say  a lot about your character when, as a married man, you feel the need to share your privates with strangers.
And while I seriously hope Anthony Weiner can get past this, and seriously hope he never shows his weiner in public again, it saddens me a little that we're becoming a world where this is to be expected. I seriously hope Lizz Winstead is wrong.

I Love This Guy, Too....er, Two.....er, II

I Love This Guy!

There's A Hero

During the ongoing Health Care debate, Representative Anthony Weiner shouted from the podium:
"Make no mistake about it! Every single Republican I've ever met in my life is a wholly owned subsidiary of the insurance industry!"
He was asked to stop speaking, but allowed to resume if he promised to change his words.
He did not.

source Joe.My.God.