I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Scottish acting hottie Richard Madden, right, was recently seen kind of embracing openly gay actor Brandon Flynn, left, while they are sharing a home in Los Angeles together, so they are obviously a couple?

Well, Richard Madden isn’t saying.

Madden, who plays Elton John’s first manager/ex-boyfriend John Reid in the Rocketman, is giving all kinds of interviews and, of course, since he’s playing gay onscreen, the reporters want to know which way he swings in real life, but Richard wants to keep that private:

“I just keep my personal life personal. I’ve never talked about my relationships.”

And he’s trying his best to beat the paparazzi at their own game while he and Brandon enjoy LA:

“I wear the same clothes days in a row, because if it looks like the same day, they can’t run the pictures. There’s only so many photos you can have of me with a green juice walking down the street.”

Good idea, but then there’s the pictures of Madden and Flynn wearing matching necklaces, the same kind of necklace that Richard gave to his ex-Jenna Coleman.

Well, maybe there was a sale?

At any rate, gay or not, they make a lovely couple.

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Sacha Baron Cohen, trying to stay relevant, has sunk to using Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson as the arbiter of his relevance.

According to The Daily Beast, Cohen has confirmed—though no one apparently even asked—that Pam and Kid Rock’s 4-month marriage ended in divorce because of Borat .

Seriously. Cohen says that Pam was in on the joke when his character Borat attempted to kidnap her at a Virgin Megastore book signing by throwing a bag on her head after she refused his proposal of marriage. Well, when the film came out in 2006—see, the relevance is over a decade old—Pam had recently married Kid Rock and then filed for divorce a few weeks later after they attended a screening of Borat. When it was over, Kid Rock “started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, ‘You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?’”

Cohen says Pam texted him after and when he asked how it went, she told him the marriage was over because of “the movie.”

Sheesh, and I thought it just ended Cohen’s career.

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I guess  DJ Khaled’s parents never taught him that winning is everything, because big boy is throwing a mighty big hissy fit lately.

It appears that the rapper-producer is ALLEGEDLY fuming at his record label because his newest album, “Father of Asahd,” failed to debut at the top of the charts and instead landed all the way down at … Number 2.

Khaled then ALLEGEDLY stormed into Epic records with an entourage, temper flaring, angry and yelling, and blaming his Second Place Showing on label executive’s not understanding streaming services and bundle deals.

Publicly, Khaled is all about positivity, but rumor has it that he, and he alone, overhyped the record and blew it up as his biggest album ever and, oops, it wasn’t.

He also went off because an estimated 100,000 downloads of his album that were sold through a bundle deal with an energy drink weren’t included in his sales by Billboard. And he’s upset that his label didn’t demand the numbers be included so he could be Number One, instead of a stinky Number two.

Rich people problems. My heart aches for him.

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In the grand scheme of things, this really is just a pittance, but still … the divorce settlement between Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower is messy because she wants $250 million. I call that a pittance after Mackenzie Bezos nabbed $37 billion.

De Niro and Hightower, who split last year after 20 years together, are fighting over money; this really isn’t a surprise because it was just a couple of years ago that De Niro publicly whined about doing sh*tty movies because Hightower was spending so many coins. And so now, even though there is a prenup giving Grace far less, the bickering couple and their lawyers are trying to hash a settlement where she wants $250 million of his $500 million and he says, What the f**k?

Hightower has filed six subpoenas for De Niro’s financial records to prove he’s got the money, and that half should be hers except that when the couple remarried in 2004—they first married  in 1997 and divorced in 1999—she signed  a rigid prenup that limited her to a $6 million apartment, $500,000 in cash, and $1 million a year in alimony.

DeNiro’s lawyers are also, What the f**k, Grace, that is your signature on the prenup right?

I mean, yes, they were married a while, but she signed the deal, and she’s getting an NYC apartment, 500K in fast cash, and a million a year for life.

Take a seat, Grace, you made your prenup, and never bothered to upgrade so …

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Oh god, do I have to talk about Madonna again?

Short answer: yes. See, Madonna, who says she was raped years ago as a teenager, but never reported it, and then claimed a few years ago that having some of her music leaked before her album dropped was similar to being raped, is now crying rape again because …

She is not happy with her New York Times profile, most importantly that her favorite photo from the interview wasn’t :::gasp:::: used in the piece and slammed the newspaper as “one of the founding fathers of the Patriarchy”:

“To say that I was disappointed in the article would be an understatement- It seems. You cant [sic] fix society And its endless need to diminish, Disparage or degrade that which they know is good. Especially strong independent women.”

For the love of goddess, Madge, learn to spell, learn about punctuation, learn about grammar and learn that even Madonna doesn’t get everything she wants and when she doesn’t it isn’t because she’s a woman, or because she’s sixty, and it most assuredly isn’t rape.

I think women who’ve actually been sexually assaulted, and you count yourself among them, might disagree that a profile in the New York Times with a picture you don’t like, is not the same thing.

Siddown, hag.

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Bobservations

As I said earlier in the week, last Friday Carlos and I had an appointment with the tax accountant to get our taxes done. Carlos said the appointment was at 9AM … and you know where this is going.

I took the morning off—well, I took the whole day because …—and we had breakfast, took showers, got our papers ready. At 8:45 I yell…

‘LET’S GO!!!’

Carlos comes down the hall and grabs his things and off we go. The accountant’s office is here in town so it’s a quick drive, and when we pull up, I notice the ‘Open’ sign is off.

“I guess she doesn’t open until 9?”

“I think so, but our appointment is at 9:30.”

“9:30? You told me 9AM!”

“I’m pretty sure I told you 9:30.”

Here we go into that usual argument where I remind Carlos that I have a better memory and don’t forget dates and times and such. Finally, I say:

“Why, if I knew the appointment was at 9:30, would I hurry you out of the house at 8:45?”

“I figured you wanted to spend some quality time with me. A little romantic moment—”

“In the parking lot of a tax accountant at 8:45AM? You need to work on your game.”

Worse yet was he suggested we go to the gas station on the corner for coffee while we wait.

Gas.Station.Coffee? I could never!

The Elton John biopic Rocketman starring Taron Egerton, Richard Madden, and Jamie Bell is getting a lot of buzz, but the word I’m worried about is that Paramount is pressuring filmmakers to cut a very gay, very nude sex scene from the film so it will get a PG-13 rating.

Seriously? A film about Elton John and you’re gonna cut a nude same-sex love scene? And a nude love scene between Taron Egerton and Richard Madden?

I.Will.Not.Have.It.

Earlier this week we talked Chick-fil-A and their continuing anti-LGBTQ donations. Well, at least one place is taking a stand.

The San Antonio City Council, on a 6-4 vote, removed a planned Chick-fil-A location from an airport concession agreement after a councilman flagged the company’s anti-LGBTQ activity.

Good. Bye.

Proving he’s one of the biggest idiots in the GOP, Kentucky Governor, and anti-vaxxer, Matt Bevin decided to prove he’s also unfit to be a parent when he revealed that he forced all nine of his children to purposely contract chickenpox.

“Every single one of my kids had the chickenpox … They got [it] on purpose because we found a neighbor that had it and I went and made sure every one of my kids was exposed to it, and they got it. They had it as children. They were miserable for a few days, and they all turned out fine.”

Medical experts were quick to point out how stupid this is because purposely exposing children to chickenpox can lead to pneumonia, cause secondary skin infections, encephalitis, and death.

But, hey, Bevins saved a few coins on vaccinations so what’s the issue, right?

How to Get Away with Murder actor Jack Falahee recently showed off a new tattoo on Instagram. Lotsa people wondered what it meant, including Falahee’s mother, who asked the significance, leading him to reply:

“[It’s] how many people I’ve murdered.”

His mother responded:

“Oh [How to Get Away with Murder]?”

“No, just in general.”

Falahee has the same warped sense of humor that I have, and I love it.

And he's kinda hot.

This week Betsy Devos, Secretary of Education said:

“Make no mistake: we are focused every day on raising expectations and improving outcomes for infants and toddlers, children and youth with disabilities, and are committed to confronting and addressing anything that stands in the way of their success.”

Then she cut $17.6 million in federal funding for the Special Olympics.

Fuck Betsy Devos.

Apparently one does not kiss the Pope’s ring any more, though his ass may be another story.

But I digress … during a recent mass at Holy House of Loreto in Italy, Pope Frankie Says Relax specifically asked the public not to kiss his ring and no one listened, so he whipped his rung hand away from all who came close and bent down to kiss it.

He didn’t let anyone taste it, not even the tip, and gave no reason why.

I have a few, go figure … first up is 27-year-old Hasan Piker is both hot and political, being a part of the YouTube channel, The Young Turks. Hasan was born and raised in Istanbul, Turkey and graduated from Rutgers with a B.A. in political science and communication.

I, personally, would find it hard to concentrate on what he’s saying … cuz I’m shallow like that.

Also, Beau Mirchoff, from Now Apocalypse, is back because ...OMG ... and we also have Devon Long, who plays Otto on the show. It looks like gay Otto and straight Ford, might have a little sump’n-sump’n going on but even if they don’t the scene where Ford, in a wee speedo, applied sunscreen to Otto, also in a wee speedo, was pretty steamy.

Just saying.

Random Musings

So a man with a private account posted this to his Instagram yesterday:

“Fantastic day golfing with #45 @realdonaldtrump at Trump Bedminister today. We had an exciting match which came down to the 18th hole. I want to thank my good friend @newyorkrei for setting up such an awesome day. #Trump #POTUS #GOLF #USA #MAGA”

Yes, the day after _____ threatened North Korea with all the fury, fire and poser of this country, he decided to play golf.

So, either the threat was nothing, or this is the most ill-equipped human being to ever sit in the Oval Office.

Either way, get this mother f**ker out. Now.

Last week I saw a movie on TV called ‘The Take.’ It was a story about terrorism in France and the CIA and crooked cops and ... oh, who cares. It starred Idris Elba whom I would pay good money just to watch him stand there.

But, it also starred Richard Madden as Hottie Pickpocket—and I’ll refrain from making a joke about him putting his hand in my pockets ... oops—who also played Prince Charming in the updated Cinderella from a few years back.

I’d like to see this become a sequel because Elba and Madden are scorching onscreen.

Just sayin’.

In Good News For Equality, Bad News For Texas ... The Dallas Stars have become the first professional sports franchise to publicly oppose the state’s “bathroom bill” and have released this statement:

“The Dallas Stars stands strongly opposed to any legislation perceived as discriminatory, including proposed bathroom legislation. Dallas welcomes all, and we welcome all. We are proud of our home and want every visitor to feel safe at home here, too, and that’s why we oppose this discriminatory bathroom legislation.”—Dallas Stars President Jim Lites

Better news ... Texas’ GOP-controlled Legislature failed to pass the bill during a legislative session that ended in May, so Asshatted Governor Greg Abbott convened a special session to revive the issue.

Now, however, it appears unlikely to pass before that special session ends next week.

Better quit before this costs you billions, Texas.

Remember when _____ and his team loved leaks? I mean, as long as the leaks helped them, like when Russia stole Democratic material and shared them with WikiLeaks.

But now that people are leaking unflattering stories about the _____ White House, and we’re learning how easily he lies, they’re not so happy with leakers.

And so _____’s Minister of Propaganda, Kellyanne Conway, is now saying that the White House may have staff members take a lie detector test to determine who is leaking sensitive national security information.

“Well they may – they may not. There are many different ways to discover who is leaking.”

Kellyanne best hope she never takes a lie detector test because the fallout from that explosion could take out half of DC.

Oh, and there’s this, too: last week Conway said that asking prospective White House employees to comply with Office of Government Ethics rules has left many of them “completely demoralized.”

Well, if filing out routine ethics paperwork leaves employees demoralized, I wonder how they’ll feel when Kellyanne slips into her Swastika dress and hooks them up to a lie detector?

Speaking of swastikas ... there is an attempt to reclaim the swastika as a symbol of ... wait for it, it’s both high-larious and disgusting, peace and goodwill by putting it on a T-shirt.

KA Design began marketing the shirts, which featured rainbow-colored swastikas, last month saying they hoped to re-brand the swastika, long associated with Nazis and the Holocaust:

“The Swastika is 5,000 years old, it’s a symbol of peace. It’s a symbol of love, it’s a symbol of life. But one day, Nazism. They took the swastika, rotated it by 45 degrees, and turned it into Hatred, and turned it into Fear, and turned it into War, and turned it into Racism and turned it into Power. They stigmatized the swastika forever. They limited our freedom. The swastika is coming back, together with Peace, together with Love, together with Respect, together with Freedom.”

Oh hell no.

The Auschwitz Memorial Museum criticized KA Design:

“You will not escape from the fact that swastika was turned by Nazis into a symbol of racism, hate, anti-Semitism and mass murder.”

The Israeli Jewish Congress demanded the items be removed from sale:

“It is obscene and disgusting that [KA Design] would seek to profit of this in the name of art, trying to turn this irredeemable Nazi symbol of hate and murder, into a symbol of ‘love and peace.’ They are not unique in this however, with a disturbingly growing pattern in recent years of other clothing companies seeking to do similar. This is not only highly naive, but grossly offensive. Hopefully management will understand the magnitude of their mistake and offense caused, and discontinue these items immediately.”

The Daily Stormer, however, an online community for neo-Nazis and white supremacists, like the idea:

“I want to say that I am in 100% support of the rebranding of the Swastika as a symbol of love. I have been trying to do this for years, and I am thankful that hippies are finally getting on-board with that particular project.”

Let me make this queer for y’all: if you ever find that a white supremacist group or a neo-Nazi organization is ‘pro’ something, then you take a stand against that. I mean, if Nazi’s like it ... ?

Well, there is a thing called Morning Wood and it is the best part of waking up so ... New Kopi Jantan Traditional Natural Herbs Coffee, from Bestherbs Coffee LLC, has been forced to recall a product over fears it causes erections.

The coffee was analyzed by the FDA and they found that it contained a number of chemicals that were “very similar” to those found in Viagra.

WHYYYYYYYYYYY? I mean, if the caffeine in coffee is meant to get me up and going, why can’t coffee get all of me up?

Uh ... asking for a friend.

I need to catch a flight to London because Hottie Brit actor, Jack O’Connell, who I first saw in Unbroken, is onstage as Brick in an updated production of Tennessee Williams’ Cat On a Hot Tin Roof.

And, best of all, the play opens with O’Connell naked in a shower ...

O’Connell says he thought the shower would be offstage and was surprised to learn that, from the jump, he’d be onstage “starkers.”

I am going to see if they need a towel man for that scene.

The other day Carlos and I were headed out and we decided to drop some things off at our local Goodwill store.

I was cruising along and thinking about stopping for gas when Carlos mentioned that I had passed the Goodwill store.

He said we were lucky that he was paying attention and was able to save us some time.

I said we were lucky that this was the first time in seventeen years that he was actually paying attention.

I so hate to be wrong.

And from the Why Say It And Then Say You’d Never Say Such A Thing file ... Oakland A’s outfielder Matt Joyce has faux-pologized for using an anti-gay slur in an exchange with a fan during a game.

As Joyce returned to the dugout, he uttered several profanities at the fan heckling him, and then called him an anti-gay slur and challenged him to fight. Joyce says:

“I was walking back to the dugout and just had a fan yell some vulgar and obscene words. For me, it just wasn’t the right time to say some stuff like that. I fired back, and obviously as soon as you fire back, you regret saying anything, because it’s just not worth it.”

Yeah, not much of an apology, but then he was suspended for two games, without pay, and faux-pologized some more:

“In regard to last night’s incident, I first and foremost want to sincerely apologize to the fans, the Oakland A’s, MLB and the most importantly the LGBTQ community for my comments and actions. A fan yelled vulgar and obscene words about me and my family and I let my frustrations and emotions get the better of me. I am beyond sorry for the inappropriate language that I used and understand and agree that those words should NEVER come out of someone’s mouth no matter the situation. Anyone who knows me will tell you that incident it is not reflective of me as a person, how I treat others, how I live my life and that those hurtful words are not my views. I fully support and hope to help the LGBTQ community with their efforts in being treated fairly and intend to let my actions speak louder than anything more that can be said about this truly regrettable moment.”

Let me make this queer: if those thoughts aren’t in your head, if you didn’t think that the nastiest thing you could say to someone is an anti-gay slur, then you wouldn’t have said it. So save the “this isn’t me” and the “anyone who knows me” bull shiz. You should have said, “Sorry I said it; it was disgusting and I apologize.”

Now go sit down and don’t play ball and don’t get paid. Asshat.

I think I threw up a little in my mouth when I read that Food Network chef, Anne Burrell, will be opening a fine dining restaurant in New York City, based on ... and here’s where I puked ... Cheetos:

“As a long-time Cheetos fan, I’m thrilled to join forces with a snack brand that is truly an iconic American staple. I had so much fun curating this specially crafted, one-of-a-kind menu for the first Cheetos restaurant – I can’t wait to see guests’ reactions!”

I’ve already given my reaction.

Cheetos and fine dining? This place will close faster than Melania’s legs when _____ waddles into the bedroom.