Friday, June 30, 2017

WTF? Celine Dion

I loathe Celine Dion ... I loathe everything about her. And when she appears in public like this it makes that task so much easier.

Dion actually appeared on the streets of Paris in this get-up ... I mean, she looks like she’s off to a Dairy-Farm/Leather-Bar for a night of milking and fisting. But the most laughable thing of all?

Nope, not the black leather overalls.

Nope. Not the ill-fitting man’s shirt.

And most definitely not the pearl-accented sandals by “designer” Kanye West.

The most laughable thing of all is that this get-up costs $110,000.

My heart will go on ... laughing. And loathing.

Sidenote: I’ll take the bodyguard, though.

I Didn't Say It ....

Paul Ryan, lying Speaker of the House, on the Congressional Budget Office [CBO] report that 22 million people lose insurance on the Senate plan:

“What they are basically saying at the Congressional Budget Office, if you’re not going to force people to buy Obamacare, if you’re not going to force people to buy something they don’t want, then they won’t buy it. So, it’s not that people are getting pushed off a plan, it’s that people will choose not to buy something that they don’t like or want. And that’s the difference here. By repealing the individual and employer mandate, which mandates people buy this health insurance that they can’t afford, that they don’t like — if you don’t mandate that they’re going to do this then that many people won’t do it.”

Naturally Paul “May I Call You Dick?” Ryan didn’t mention the subsidy cuts that would make buying insurance prohibitive for poor people, and allowing insurance companies to offer more expensive plans with less thorough coverage.
Cuz, you know, that might make y’all think the GOPDon’tCare healthcare plan is bad.
So, to be more succinct, Fuck off, Speaker.
Britney Spears, on the whole lip sync business:

“I’m glad you addressed this question because it’s really funny. A lot of people think that I don’t sing live. Because I’m dancing so much I do have a little bit of playback, but there’s a mixture of my voice and the playback. It really pisses me off because I am busting my ass out there and singing at the same time and nobody ever really gives me credit for it.”

Britney, honey, you “singing” a couple of words to a track is not singing live.
We’ve all seen you “perform” and it’s so not live.
Simmer, girl, simmer.
Sandy Rios, anti-LGBT American Family Association bigot, on Pride celebrations:

“This whole business of the rainbow, and gay, and pride, is just a ruse for something that is so horrendous for the people involved. I have to communicate. My heart goes out to men and women who are caught in the throes of this, who are really losing their opportunity to shake loose of it.”

Sandy, honey, keep your heart, or that little black speck of coal that you call a heart, we don’t need your thoughts and prayers.
You are a woman of hate and loathing, possibly self-loathing if you get my gay subtext—you’re likely queer, dear—and you really need to seek help.
Then, maybe, you know, taste the Rainbow.
Alicia Silverstone, promoting her movie American Woman by throwing shade at Wonder Woman:

“Before Wonder Woman ... Wonder Woman? ... there have been many movies with female leads. So I get a little confused … I think about ‘But what about all those wonderful comedians who are females who have had massive hits, Bridesmaids, there’s a movie out right now that’s tons of girls [Rough Night], and I’m sure it’s killing it, right? ... there was Mean Girls, there was Clueless ... we have had so many movies that have been female-driven ... [But] it has to be Wonder Woman, it has to have tons of flash, right? As a mom, I don’t want my kid to see all that loud effects, all the stuff that is like ‘stimulate, stimulate.’ But that’s what audiences want.”  

Alicia, Alicia. Dogging a female-driven movie with a single female lead? Not cool. All those other films you mentioned, while female-driven, had several female leads, while Wonder Woman is driven by a singular performance. That’s what people are saying is good.
And your kids are probably asking why they can’t see it.
John MacArthur, “pastor” of megachurch Grace Community Church, saying gay folks don’t exist:

“No one is gay. People commit adultery, they commit sins of homosexuality, they lie, they steal, they cheat. That’s like saying, ‘You know, I keep robbing banks, but I’m a robber. I’m a bank robber. What am I gonna do? I’m a bank robber.’ That is not an excuse for what you do. Are there certain kind of impulses that lead people in that direction? Yes. But I think one of the really deadly aspects of this is to let people define themselves as gay.”

Look around quickly, y’all, cuz gay folks don’t exist!
At least so says the “pastor” who also say parents should alienate their gay children; who called the Catholic Church “the kingdom of Satan” and said the Pope is the anti-Christ.
Yeah, so there’s that.
Brian Karem, the reporter who stood up to _____ spokes-tool Sarah Huckabee and called her out for enflaming _____’s ‘fake news’ accusations:

“We can’t take the bullying anymore … For the government to sit there and undermine what are very essential checks and balances in the system … it’s disheartening, it’s unnerving ... I can’t take it anymore. It’s nuts … What it speaks to is dissolving the independent media. It’s trying to co-opt the media. If we don’t broadcast what they like, then we’re automatically fake media.”

Or, you fight back, and dig deeper into every single story this asshatted regime calls fake and find the real news and report that.
Maybe when Sarah Huckabee Sanders has to explain why she worked for this pig that was run out of office, she’ll finally get it.
Well, I doubt it; she’s a Huckabee after all and they’re inherently stubbornly stupid.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Random Musings

It’s a good thing my boss loves me because ... one day this week, I brought my lunch from home, and as I was eating he looked at it and said:

“What’s that?”

"It’s a Black Bean, Corn, Tomato, Avocado salad."

“What’s in it?”

“Black Beans. Corn. Tomato. Avocado.”

“Smartass,” he said.

“Dumbass,” I replied.

Like I said, it’s good that I’m good at my job.
In a case of him being about the most ignorant man on the planet, this week President-For-Now _____ attacked The Washington Post and its owner, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, for its coverage of him and his administration as, wait for it, because it’s new and newsworthy .... #FakeNews.

The fake news story that has that dead muskrat on his head itching his scalp? The story about how he has framed copies of a fake issue of Time magazine with his picture on it at several of his properties.

Yup, he called a news story about how he made a fake issue of a magazine a fake news story. Fake + Fake = Truth. Dipshit, as my Dad would say.
Well, isn’t this special? The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that Mississippi can begin enforcing a law to allow merchants and government employees who cite religious beliefs as an excuse to deny services to same-sex couples.

Cuz, you know, God hates fags.

Here's where it might get ugly, though, because how do you know when someone is being a bigot because of the Baby Jeebus and when they’re being a bigot because they are hate-filled human beings?

Asking for a friend.
A friend of Carlos’ has a cat that was making some weird noises and so she took him to the vet and spent a great deal of money on tests after test to find out what was wrong.

Turns out the cat sneezes in rather than out.

Carlos made some snide remark about a waste of money to find out your cat sneezes inward, and I looked at him sideways and said:
“Yeah, that’s kinda like spending $20,000 for a day-and-a-half in the hospital because you hurt yourself throwing a bag of leaves in the back of a truck.”
Yes, that was snark to my Poor Baby Carlito.
Poor Ivanka “Complicit” _____ is being forced to testify in a dispute with Italian shoemaker Aquazzura Italia over one of her company’s shoe designs that Aquazzura Italia says she stole from them.

What? A _____ stealing someone else’s work and pawnign it off as their own? What’s next? Melania _____ giving someone else’s speech at a—

Oh yeah, never mind. The family of grifters is just doing what they do.
One morning this week, watching the news whilst having breakfast, I caught sight of the amazing shot that Jordan Spieth made from a sand trap.

“Oh my god,” I said to Carlos. “That’s amazing!”

Carlos watched the replay and said, “Wow, what an incredible shot.”

And I said:

“What shot? Look at his ass in those jeans!”

Priorities, people. And whoever knew golf could be hot?

Fox news political commentator Chadwick Moore—an openly self-loathing homosexual and former liberal who is now drinking the Kool-Aid— was on the “news” show to discuss a vigil that took place at Stonewall Inn to remember the 49 innocent people that were brutally murdered in the Pulse massacre last year.

The event was organized by Gays Against Guns, and was also used as a way of protesting against out-dated gun laws that continue to allow dangerous individuals to purchase guns without proper background checks. And, when asked what he thought about the anti-_____ nature of the event, Moore said:
“Most gay people aren’t political. Most gay people, you know, they care about pop music and going to the beach. They probably don’t know what the Second Amendment is. And so they show up to be together, to celebrate the community, to mourn together and instead they are fed this anti-gun nonsense.”
Oh, you stupid man, we have been politically active for fifty years working against ignorant bigots like yourself and will continue to do so, while we dance and go to the beach and catch a Broadway show because we’re here, we’re queer and we can multi-task the fuck out of wingnuts like you.
The Congressional Black Caucus are expected to refuse an invitation to meet President-For-Now _____ because they say this White House has done nothing to further CBC priorities and they believe _____ will use a meeting with them as a photo opportunity and nothing else:
“No one wants to be a co-star on the reality show.”  
Honey, you ain’t never lied.
Well, we haven’t seen the tax returns because ... liar ... but it appears that President-For-Now _____ had personal liabilities of at least $315.6 million to German, U.S. and other lenders as of mid-2017.

Yeah, he’s good for business.
In great news for TV lovers, and lovers of Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City books—28 Barbary Lane and Back to Barbary Lane.

Netflix is developing a return to Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City, with original stars Laura Linney and Olympia Dukakis already signed on to revive their Showtime and PBS characters.

Michael Cunningham, The Hours, is writing the ten-part series and Armistead Maupin will produce.

Sheesh. Now I gotta Netflix, too?
Jason Chaffetz, the Congressman from Utah, is set to reign in a few days, but before he goes, he is suggesting that We The People pay members of Congress a $2,500 per month housing allowance:
“I really do believe Congress would be much better served if there was a housing allowance for members of Congress. In today’s climate, nobody’s going to suggest or vote for a pay raise. But you shouldn’t have to be among the wealthiest of Americans to serve properly in Congress ... and I flat-out cannot afford a mortgage in Utah, kids in college and a second place here in Washington, D.C. I think a $2,500 housing allowance would be appropriate and a real help to have at least a decent quality of life in Washington if you’re going to expect people to spend hundreds of nights a year here.”
As a member of Congress Jason Chaffetz makes $174,000 a year for roughly 131 days of work, or about $1300 a day; his net worth, and he’s one of the least wealthy members of Congress, is over $2 million.

And yet he wants you to pay his rent. And if he doesn’t stay in DC, and opts to fly home every weekend, We The People pay for his airline ticket.

A $2,500 monthly allowance would cost We The People $30,000 a year per lawmaker, or roughly $16 million a year for all 535 members.

Bitch, please.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Architecture Wednesday: WE House

This one gets the nod because, from the walk up, it seems kinda simple, kinda plain, kinda unassuming. But when you get inside, it’s expansive and wide open and has the kind of windows I would ... literally ... kill for.

In fact, the architect was inspired by the idea of “wide open spaces”—lovely green areas, big plots of land, and nature everywhere—and opted to bring those concepts indoors as well.

Although the house doesn’t appear huge or overstated from the outside, it boasts rooms that are widespread, open, and full of light, complete with high ceilings and spacious hallways connecting each room in a fresh way.

The color scheme, which stays within the neutral tones, contributes to the openness of the central living rooms and kitchen, letting fresh air ... and visitors ... flow through the house freely.

That open space concept continues upstairs with several bedrooms and bathrooms that fall a hair short of being described as “sprawling”. And, rather than waste space that might have been used for other rooms, the bedrooms embrace the space, keeping furniture minimal and decor simple but leaving lots of floor room to allow for different set ups as the years go on.

Outside there’s a gorgeous, yes, sprawling pool and lawns; the step-down pool glistens in the sunlight on summer days while you enjoy the beautifully natural view around you.

Inside or out, it’s the ideal place for enjoying a relaxing afternoon with space for all of your closest family and friends.


Mitch McConnell McTurtle Is A F**king Liar

Like the rodent he is, Mitch McConnell McTurtle came out of the darkness yesterday to talk about the healthcare bill—ironic, because it really contains neither health nor care—that he and twelve other old white men crafted in secret.

McTurtle rarely spoke about the bill because, you know, evil works best as a surprise but then it finally had to be revealed, or reviled, and now he’s talking.

And talking up this new Senate bill, GOPDon’tCare, that would devastate millions of Americans, raising the costs of insurance for most of us, denying coverage to even more, but, you know, giving a tax break to the wealthiest Americans because that’s all the GOP cares about.

So, McTurtle poked his head out of his shell yesterday, trying, and failing, at least right now, to get a vote on his hate-filled piece of legislation, and trying to deny the fact that the Congressional Budget Office [CBO] found that 22 million Americans would lose coverage under his plan and millions more would spend thousands of dollars in increased out of pocket cost.
“The Senate will soon take action on a bill that the Congressional Budget Office just confirmed will reduce the growth in premiums under Obamacare, reduce taxes on the middle class, and reduce the deficit.”
Those are lies. Think about that, especially uyou Kentucky morons who keep voting this liar back into office, you Kentucky morons who will no doubt lose health insurance, who will no doubt pay more in taxes because you keep reelecting this fool.

First of all, the facts is that more than 90% of tax cuts will go to the richest 1% of Americans and more than half to the wealthiest 0.1%. Middle-class families and virtually everyone else will pay more in taxes under McConnell’s plan.

Cool! Lose insurance, pay more taxes! That’s the GOP way!

Second, premiums will skyrocket for the majority of Americans, especially those who need care the most, and the elderly living on social security.

But one thing McTurtle failed to mention, while salivating over his plan to help his billionaire buddies at the expense of everyone else, was the 22 million Americans whose health coverage he is taking away because he serves billionaires.

Seriously; that’s his bill. Many lose coverage and pay more in taxes while the wealthiest Americans who can afford insurance anyway, get a huge tax break.

And don’t get me started on the massive cuts to Medicaid—you know, that thing _____ promised he wouldn’t touch—that will also hurt those most in need.

If that sounds fair to you, sit back down and STFU; if that somehow doesn’t seem fair, pick up a goddamned phone and call your Senators now and tell them if they vote for this atrocity you will work your ass off to vote them out of office.

The number? 202.224.3121.



Stop the GOP from destroying the Middle Class and the poor.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The Russians Had The Help Of The GOP In Stealing The Election

In an effort to cast doubt on someone other than himself in RussiaGate, _____ keeps asking the question ... if President Obama knew that Vladimir Putin interfered in the 2016 election, why didn’t he say something sooner? Good question, I guess ... so let’s see what the answer might be:

One, President Obama was trying to do the right thing and ...

Two, the Republicans stopped that from happening.

Former Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson testified last week that the Russian activity in the election went beyond just hacking emails, beyond distributing those emails through Wikileaks, and beyond creating a stream of fake-news stories for alt-right websites and wackjobs on social media.

Russia took unprecedented “active measures” to penetrate state databases and alter or delete voter rolls, and many, including Johnson, viewed that as a kind of declaration of war by Russia.

Last August, the hacking information was sent from the CIA to the White House with “eyes only” instructions that its contents be shown to four people—President Barack Obama and three senior aides—and be returned to the CIA once read.

In fact, the material was so sensitive that CIA Director John Brennan kept it out of the President’s Daily Brief, concerned that even the Brief’s restricted distribution was too broad; to further guard against leaks, subsequent meetings followed the same protocols as the planning sessions for the Osama bin Laden raid.

It was that sensitive. But, it was still early in the hacking story and the White House couldn’t tell the full extent of the Russian attack, and couldn’t tell who in this country might be cooperating with the Russians, but, the intelligence made one thing clear: Putin’s specific instructions on the objective of the operation were to defeat or at least damage Hillary Clinton, and help elect Donald ______.

The intelligence community went to work on the story and Obama kept quiet because if he had revealed the intelligence, and it turned out to be false, he might have been seen as guilty of interfering in the election himself.  So Obama proceeded with caution, working to confirm the CIA’s intelligence and searching for ways to respond to the hack. He had to build a case that would hold up in front of Republican leaders in Congress and the American people.

Only in his final weeks in office did Obama tell the public, in a declassified report, what officials had learned in August: that Putin was working to elect Trump. And today, ______ plays up that delay as “proof” that he is innocent. But then, think of what he might have done if the story was released in August; he’d have Tweeted it, again and again, because he has, before and since, Tweeted the most ridiculous of stories and downright lies without so much as a thought.

Obama didn’t do that; he followed the law, protecting the nation, and trying to ensure his actions didn’t make the situation worse. He did the right thing but then ... The GOP.

Obama instructed aides to seek bipartisan support from members of Congress on a statement condemning Moscow and urging states to accept federal help. But that never happened; some GOP leaders in Congress put off even meeting with intelligence officials, delaying the process by weeks perhaps because they saw this as their shot to take the White House, our elections be damned.

Jeh Johnson then attempted to designate election infrastructure as “critical” in order to give it the same protection provided defense contractors, but Brian Kemp, the GOP secretary of state of Georgia, used Johnson’s call to denounce the proposal as an assault on state’s rights:
“I think it was a politically calculated move by the previous administration.”
To this day Kemp remains unconvinced that Russia waged a campaign to disrupt the 2016 election.

In short: Republicans were—and are—more concerned with hurting Obama, and Hillary, and taking the White House, than they were in stopping Russia.

So, let’s be queer: it’s not just _____ who colluded with Russia to steal an election, it’s the entire Republican Party who sat their fat asses on their fat hands and did nothing while a foreign country stole an election out from under We The People; and  it wasn’t just random state level officials like Brian Kemp, it was also Congressional leaders.

After meeting with the intelligence community for a briefing the Democrats wanted to release the information to the public but the Republicans resisted, arguing that to warn the public that the election was under attack would further Russia’s aim of sapping confidence in the system. Or, you know, allow Hillary to win. Senate Majority Leader Mitch “Chinless Owl”McConnell actually voiced skepticism that the intelligence supported the White House’s claims because, you know, Obama.

So, there you have it: the information came out, and was investigated, but the GOP tried to block it from being revealed to the public because they put the party, and their own personal interests, over country.

Chew on that.

*Special thanks to The Prairie Home Companion show on Sunday for giving me another apt description of McConnell besides McTurtle.