Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Poor JLo. She's learning the hard way that when you hook-up with a back-up dancer eighteens years younger than you, people might be pissed off.
The trouble started when JLo's mama stopped talking to her because of her, ahem, relationship with the toy boy. Then soon-to-be-ex Marc Anthony refused to work with her on their joint project, a kind of Latino Idol, when she brought her little new man with her.
And to make matters worse, some people might be confused.
The Enquirer--that bastion of journalism....Hey, they broke the John Edwards story, remember--has the story from a few "eyewitnesses" who say that Jennifer is often being mistaken for back-up-toy-boy-dancer, Casper’s, mother.

It's funny, cuz she could be. And, while JLo may not look like his mama, she could have gone to high school with her.


Poor Kobe. After that whole accused-of-rape-but-I'll-buy-my-wife-a-diamond-ring escapade of a few years back, his cheating has caught up with him, and now Vanessa Bryant, owner of The Apology Diamond, has filed for divorce.
And Kobe's acting all sorts of guilty, and so most folks think he is guilty of some Tiger-sized man-whorin'.
It seems Vanessa Bryant recently caught Kobe red, er, handed, in his latest bout with infidelity and that is why she filed for divorce. But, um, yeah, it wasn't the first time. Over the years, Vanessa has caught Kobe with several women, but, and I'm just guessing here, a new piece of jewelry or a shiny new car appeared and Vanessa forgot all about the extra-marital schtupping.
I guess there ain't no diamond big enough, this time.



Scarlett Johansson is miffed.Not about breaking up with Ryan Reynolds [sidenote: Really?] or about her split-second relationship with Sean Penn [sidenote: Really?!?].No,. she's miffed because people call her ScarJo, saying, “It’s a laziness. People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre.....How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to “like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck? If I hear somebody say that, I know I don’t know them at all.”
Oh, honey. You're no Daniel Day-Lewis or Cate Blanchett. In fact, in your last few films, you've been a supporting player.
So, take the ScarJo and just live with it.
It hasn't hurt JLo.


James Franco.I don't get him. I don't get the sort-of-pseudo-stoner-intellectual-grad-student-ness of him. I just think he's odd. And not that talented.
But, apparently that slacker attitude is just an act, at least where a former teacher is concerned. It seems that Franco has turned his rather sizable wrath on a poor NYU professor who dared to give him a bad grade for barely attending class.
You know, Cuz he’s James Franco, right?
NYU professor, José Angel Santana, gave Franco a 'D' because he missed 12 of his 14 “Directing the Actor II” classes while pursuing a master’s in fine arts. And, for that, Santana says he has suffered all kinds of drama--first from Franco, who publicly ridiculed him, and then from his department, which axed him over the 'D.'
Yes. Fired for giving Franco a 'D.'
Santana is now suing NYU and wants his job back, and says that Franco's other professors at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts gave him good grades even though he wasn't so hot in class, because big names such as Franco’s typically translate into big bucks for universities.
In fact, Santana suggested that the good grades Franco received were payback to the actor for hiring one of his other professors, Jay Anania, to write and direct the film William Vincent, which starred Franco. 
Hey, lots of folks buy grades and have sex for grades, right?
Nothing wrong with that......right?



I'll put this out there right at the first.
I don't like Tom Cruise. In fact, my loathe of Tommy Grrrl is so strong that I even loathed Nicole Kidman, until she divorced him.
Hey. I have my reasons. One of which is, once, when being interviewed by Grandma Walters, who asked him about The Gay Rumors, he said that the idea that he would be gay is disgusting, because, to him, gay is disgusting.
And it might be if you're a pint-sized Hollywood homo trapped in a Scientology closet. Just sayin'.
But this tale is about how Tommy Grrrl keeps looking younger each and every year. I mean, sheesh, grrrl is forty-nine. Wud up wid dat?
Well, according to a Brazilian magazine, EPOCA, Tommy Grrrl has had meetings with world famous Brazilian plastic surgeon Dr. Ivo Pitanguy. In fact, Tommy and The Blade are so close, he even invited the good doctor to the 2009 Rio premiere of Knight and Day. And then Tommy sent his Robo-wife, and their daughter to have lunch at Pitanguy’s private island in Brazil’s Bay of Kings.
It seems Tommy is frantic about his skin, and has even begun using Katie's Robot-Creams....WD40, I think it's called. But now that Dr. Pitanguy’s skin care line, Beauty By Clinica Ivo Pitanguy, is available at Bergdorf Goodman, Tommy has taken to ordering it by the case to slather on his aging mug. The cost: $300 for 1.7 ounces.
Tommy's doctor 'friend' is ALLEGED to have worked on Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Persian Empress Farah Diba, French president Francois Mitterrand and Frank Sinatra in addition to Miss Tommy.
What do you think? Think Tommy likes a little nip and tuck as much as he ALLEGEDLY likes a little d**k and f**k?


Proving that bad behavior crosses sexual orientation lines, Adam Lambert and his boyfriend, Sauli Koskinen, a real life Pocket Gay, had a bit of an, um, incident in Finland.
The couple were at a gay bar, the aptly named , Don’t Tell Momma, and Adam ALLEGEDLY started getting all kinds of violent. And then he was arrested.
The argument started in the bar, but the fight, as they should, took to the streets. Earrings were removed and makeup was mussed, hair was ALLEGEDLY pulled, and when patrons tried to stop the altercation, Lambert attacked them as well. Luckily, though, no one was injured. Still,  ex-Miss Helsinki, Sofia Ruusila, who had been celebrating with Lambert and Koskinen, tried to get between the quarrelling couple when Lambert accidentally hit her by mistake.
Lambert and Koskinen spent several hours in a Finnish jail following their arrest, and were being held for questioning as local police investigate a total of four possible assault offenses. Still, the lovebirds, and brawling-birds, should be released after being interrogated.
It’s unclear whether Lambert or his Lil Gay will face charges.
It sounds like Adam had too much to drink and he started getting aggressive and pissy and… well, that ain't good. Drunk queens can be nasty.
Heck drunks can be nasty.

4 comments:

  1. I do not get Kobe. What an idiot.

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  2. Merry Christmas Bob!

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  3. Anonymous11:41 AM

    There isn't much about Kobe to figure out. When someone nicknames themselves "Black Mamba" you know it's not about how he moves on the basketball court.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Adam looks a member of Adam Ant's entourage

    ReplyDelete

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