I Should Be Laughing: Amy Koch Is All About "Family Values"

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Amy Koch Is All About "Family Values"

Amy "Family Values" Koch

It's stories like these that give me, and probably many of you, reason to think that all politicians are liars and cheats, and untrustworthy.
See, up in Minnesota, Amy Koch, Republican and state Senate Majority Leader, has resigned that position, and said she would not seek re-election in 2012 after allegations of “inappropriate relationship" between Koch and a Senate staffer” emerged.
Oh yeah, and Amy Koch is one of those 'Marriage Is Between One Man and One Woman, The Gays Can't Marry, Family Vaules' politicians.
Like Newt.
And, oh yeah, it was under Amy Koch's "Family Values" majority leadership that the Minnesota Senate voted to amend the state Constitution to declare that ‘a marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in Minnesota.’
And, oh yeah, Amy Koch, voted for the bill herself.
With that amendment having cleared the state House and Senate it will move to the voters of Minnesota next November. They will be asked to vote on whether their fellow citizens, of the LGBT variety anyway, should be [further] forbidden by law to marry the person they love.
Hmmm, Amy Koch thinks that the people of Minnesota should get a chance to vote who can get married and who cannot. I wonder how Amy would feel if we put her marriage to a vote. Oh, but it's too late for that. She can and did get married, and then voted to deny those rights to LGBT people, while having all kinds of inappropriate relations.
Again, is it any wonder we don't trust politicians?

BUT THEN.....
The LGBT community of Minnesota has apologized to Amy Koch for ruining the institution of marriage and causing her to stray from her husband and engage in an "inappropriate relationship."

Michael "Anti-LGBT" Brodkorb

Cuz that's what we do, in Amy Koch's world, is ruin traditional marriage and stuff.The LGBT tongue-in-cheek apology comes right after Amy Koch issued her own apology, in which she expressed her deep regret for "engaging in a relationship with a Senate staffer." Now, Amy isn't one to kiss and tell--she's more apt to inappropriately relate and not tell, it is widely rumored to be former communications chief Michael Brodkorb, who lost several key GOP positions in the wake of the scandal.
And for a little more irony, Brodkorb also campaigned this year to put that constitutional discrimination amendment on next year's ballot forbidding gay marriage.
So, then, here's the LGBT apology to Amt Koch for ruining her marriage:

Dear Ms. Koch,On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love have cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that "gay marriage" is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone's family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.