Monday, December 12, 2011

Tweets Of The Week

via The Advocate:
Every week, The Advocate's Jami Smith brings you the top 10 tweets from LGBT comedians — and our favorite gay jokes from straight comedians, or just whatever made us laugh. Follow Jami on Twitter @gaysayer if you want your funny more frequently. 

Number 10:
I just gave a homeless man a dollar and he said "Thanks Ma'am!" Manners count!
Number 9:
I'm not saying Snooki is a drinker, but rumor has it, the empty bottles of her new perfume can be redeemed for cash.
Number 8:
Roleplaying is like improv: when the hot cop tells you he's going to place you under arrest, make sure to respond with, "Yes, and..."
Number 7:
"All the slingle bladeys! All the slingle bladeys!" - Beyonce Bob Thornton
Number 6:
Almost crashed my car while aggressively trying to thumbs-up Wham's "Last Christmas" on Pandora and honestly I'd be fine dying that way.
Number 5:
I like my women like I like my coffee. I don't.
Number 4:
I'd be curious to read a porn star's resume and try to pinpoint where things went wrong. Probably the Associate's degree in Psychology.
Number: 3:
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and your pets even closer and your doll collection closest of all.
Number 2:
Madonna's performing at the Super Bowl, which means I have to learn what football is. Thanks, traitor.
And The Number 1 Tweet Of The Week:
Waiting for Judi Dench to star in GINGRICH.

1 comment:

  1. Nothing like trying to figure out exactly what football is. I still don't understand it. It took me till my senior year to realize that first downs weren't at marked places on the field.

    ReplyDelete

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