I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Seriously. He doesn't die easy.
And now Bruce Willis has entered the cologne contest--unbeknownst to him ALLEGEDLY--and created his own, er, scent, which I think would smell a little like a bar mat after an especially raucous Friday night.
But LR Health & Beauty Systems, a German beauty company, thinks men want to smell like Willis, and has released a collection of colognes in honor of the actor.
“I personally feel that the new Bruce Willis fragrance is the manliest scent in the world,” Tilo Plöger, COO of the company, said of the product, which contains hints of grapefruit, pepper, and vetiver.
Grapefruit? Pepper? And WTF is vetiver?
And why would anyone think I'd wanna smell like that?
The "Willis Collection" includes hair and body wash; deodorant; aftershave balm; and eau de parfum. And the product's tagline?

Smart Guys Live Forever.
This is the same actor whose most recent films were Surrogates and Cop Out, so it's unclear if the motto is referring to Willis himself.

I tend to think not.

It worked for Paris Hilton, and, well, if you're Lindsay Lohan, who else but Paris would you look to for life advice?
It seems that Lindsanity is already looking toward the future; you know, those days after her stint in jail, and her stint in rehab....AGAIN! She is ALLEGEDLY shopping, er, whoring herself out, for a post-prison interview, and she'll sell her sad story of being abused by the legal system, and that she doesn't do drugs, and that she works with children, to the highest bidder.
I have already offers $1.23 for the interview. Fingers crossed, I'm still waiting to hear.
The bad news, for me anyway, is that Lindsay will ALLEGEDLY accept not one penny less than a million bucks in cash.
Or crack.
Or booze.
But, working against Lindsay, like the fact that she's a serial drug abuser, alcoholic, and pathological liar, is that most reputable news sources, and I'm not talkin' 'bout you FOX, won't pay for interviews, so Lindsay might just shop her story overseas.
But, and this is where it gets wacky, er, wackier, is that Lindsay might offer up some of her prison poetry, and some home movies, that the networks would have to pay licensing fees to use, and then Lindsay would get her money.
Or crack.
Or booze.

Ah, remember when Mel Gibson was every girl's, and every gay boy's dreamboat?
Now, he's just a douchebag.
Having vociferously, and vehemently denied for over a week that he never punched girlfriend and baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva, in the face, new evidence has been uncovered that he may well have done just that.
A new audio recording--seriously Mel, you need to stop talking--has surfaced in which Mel admits to smacking Oksana, and he even says she "deserved" it.
On the recording, Oksana is heard asking Mel, “What kind of a man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face? What kind of a man is that?”
To which Mel, ever the righteous religious father of eight--seven with a wife, and one with a mistress--says: “You know what — you fucking deserved it.”
Now comes word that Mel Gibson is being investigated for domestic abuse.
Maybe he and Lindsay can have adjoining cells.

Has-been TV "actor", Jaleel White, who played somebody called Urkel on a show I'd never heard of, Family Matters, is under investigation for allegedly hitting his baby mama.
The mama in question, Briget Hardy, claims that while they were driving on Pacific Coast Highway two weeks ago, White punched her in one of her breast implants, and that when they got home he slapped her and pushed her into a toilet so hard that the tank broke.
Hardy filed a report with the LAPD, but says she suffered no injuries, except for the damaged loo.
A rep for White--and am I the only one who finds it odd that out-of-work actors have "reps"--said: "There was absolutely no battery … no abuse … and the incident never happened. This is just a ploy in an ongoing custody battle over their young daughter to tarnish his name."
Lovely parents indeed.
Him, if he hit her.
And her, if she's lying just to get custody.
And folks, we all know that kids are better off with straight parents only.

Meanwhile, back at Lindsanity:
You all saw the picture--and it could have been photo-shopped, although Lindsay is just that emotionally stumped top pull such a trick--where she had painted the words fuck u on her fingernail before her probation hearing.
Well some say she might just pay for it.
NYC Public Defender Stacy Schneider--out for her own fifteen minutes of fame--says that if Lohan's message was aimed at the court, "it would be a separate charge for contempt...[and]...she could have an entire extra sentence heaped on top of her current one. If the judge were angry enough, it could run even consecutively.
LA Public Defender Greg Apt--not wanting to be left out of the spotlight either--adds: "The judge could hold her in direct contempt, which could be between three to five days in jail for vulgarity."
It makes one wonder about the professionalism of Lohan's team of lawyers, and how they could possibly have missed Lindsay latest bout of infantile behavior.
No wonder her attorney, who uttered the immortal line that Lindsay was treated unfairly by the courts, has resigned as her attorney.

Filed under: Comes as No Surprise:
The American Idol Tour sucks. Big time.
After a year of record low--for them--ratings, and the news of Simon Cowell jumping ship for his own talent show, comes news that the American idol Tour is cancelling shows left and right because no one wants to see them.
Organizers behind the Idol Live! tour are wrapping up the show sooner than expected, and have cancelled eight concerts. Rather than end their tour on September 16th in Portland, Maine, as planned, the tour will now take a two-week break, and then have the final show in Indianapolis.
i blame Lee DeWyze.
And Lindsay Lohan....just because.