I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

This is just so juicy. Probably not true at all, but, man, it's juicy, so I'm gonna share it.

People are jealous of Matt Lauer. Well, except for that whole losing his hair thing. But, you must admit, he's got a hot body, seems like a nice guy, and just signed a new contract with The Today Show which nets him $25 million a year. So, yeah, there's a lot to love, and loathe, there.

But, here's some of the juice: Lauer is ALLEGEDLY sick of Ann Curry--and really, who isn't--and he's trying to get her fired. Taking all that into account, the good looks, the lotsa dough, the trying to edge out his co-host, and the rumors start flying.....like this other juice: Matt Lauer might have fathered Natalie Morales’s youngest son. 

Right after signing that $25 million-a-year contract with NBC, insiders at competing networks are telling the tale that the 54-year-old married newsman is the father of one of Natalie Morales' children.

Indeed, they are telling that story.

A source--and by source, I mean Katie Couric, now that she's at ABC--says: “I heard that Matt had an affair with Natalie, and he’s the father of one of her kids. Everyone’s buzzing that the boy looks just like him.” Okay, Matt is losing his hair, and most babies are bald, so, well, I could see the resemblance, too.

But......another industry source--and I think it's Ann Curry trying to save her ass--says: “The Matt Lauer love child scandal is the worst-kept-secret among the network morning shows. Everyone’s talking about it--even at NBC. He’s trying to get Ann Curry dumped as co-anchor, and those loyal to her also talking it up. Matt has enemies inside and outside the shows Studio 1A, and if he’s got this giant skeleton in his closet, there are many who want to see it come out.”'

And Lauer does have the dawg reputation. Back in Ott-Six, his wife Annette--while pregnant with their third child--filed for divorce before ultimately withdrawing the papers a month later. And the filing of that divorce did come while the rumors were surfacing that Matt and Morales were doing some kinky stuff under that desk.

Then, two years later, the rumors began again when Morales announced she was 12 weeks pregnant by husband Joe Rhodes. And, get this, when the National Enquirer gave Rhodes the chance to dispute the rumors of a Lauer/Morales fling,he did not deny them.

Ruh-roh.

I do love me juice in the morning.

I'm kinda, sorta thinking maybe Demi Moore checked out of rehab a little too fast.

Rumor Has It--God I love Adele....but I digress--that the former Missus Kutcher, who has been known to Tweet bikini pictures of herself to her then-husband/adulterer-boytoy, is now taking far more risque photos of herself and sending them to Ashton in that desperate "see what you're missing" kinda thing that high-school girls might do, but not really meant for women in their mid-to-late centuries.

But, to make it even sadder, and pathetic-er, it seems that Ashton's latest hook-up, passed round girl Rihanna, found the nude photos of Demi on Ashton’s phone and chewed him out for it. In fact, her jealous rage came on the set of 2.5 Men: a source--and by source, I mean, Jon Cryer, because he's desperate to keep his job--says Rihanna freaked out and fled the stage in fury after she “stumbled across” sexy, near-naked Demi-pics.

On the other side of this sick and twisted triangle, making it a rectangle, er, wrecktangle, or a pentagon, maybe, comes the story that Rihanna beater, Chris Brown, has asked Diddy--because Diddy knows all about relationships, y'all--to tell Ashton to stay away from Rihanna.

Because, you know, it's like high school in Hollywood.

On the Lohan front, now that she's on informal probation for the next two years, after not breaking the law for 120 days, Lindsay is set to hook it back up with former flame Samantha Ronson--and don't get too excited....that picture, over there, is Samandsy, er, Lindstha, back in the day.

I still remember how freaked out everyone acted when rumors surfaced that Lindsay was going lesbian. Now, comparing that to all her recent antics, Lindsay and Samantha seem almost normal. 

A source--Hey Dina! How's the chardonnay?--says old girl-on-girl habits die hard for Lindsay and she is determined to win back Samantha: "Lindsay has been asking Sam for another chance for months. She’s dated a few guys, but nothing has worked out....Lindsay's convinced Sam is the perfect partner for her.”

And does Lindsay prove her love for Samantha by, sending her flowers? No. Wooing her? Not so much. Stalking her? Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner.

Lohan shows up at events where Sam will be. 

Lohan moved right next door to Sam in Venice Beach. 

Lohan would hang around the front of her house waiting for Ronson to come home.

Stalkers with money are the worst kind.

Jennifer Love Hewitt. Loathe her. Fame whore. 

She apparently has a sexy new Lifetime TV show where she plays a hooker, you know, because that's all edgy and stuff. And, as part of her shameless whore-sploitation, she's doing interviews where she’s talking about--wait for it--her lack of love life. 

And she's telling people that The Voice judge, and proponent of "pulling out" as a birth control method, Adam Levine, is single and she's like to be his real-life hooker.

On Ellen:

Ellen: Are you in a relationship, right now?

Jennifer: I am not. I am very single.

Ellen: You’re very single. Is that good, very single?

Jennifer: It’s good. Yes, it is. It’s good.

Ellen: Do you have you’re eye on anybody?

Jennifer: Well, yeah, I always have my eyes out… I just read two days ago that Adam Levine is single again…I’m just saying...Look, we would be cute…(photo of Adam). His haircut is hot.

How desperate is it to go on a TV show and beg a stranger for a date because you'd look 'cute'' togetehr? Oh yeah, I forgot. It's Jennifer Love Hewitt. 

Moron. Fame whore.

On the first season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Camille Grammer was portrayed as an evil bitch. And I bought it. The second season she was and sugar and spice, and we learned that her bitchiness was caused by the sudden breakup of her marriage to serial adulterer Kelsey Grammer. And all was forgiven, except...now it seems like Season One Camille is the real Camille.

She's been dating hottie lawyer, curly-haired, tanned hunk, Dimitri Charalambopoulos--I cannot pronounce his last name, but I can see him on a Greek island beach, in a speedo, feeding me grapes.....gimme a minute....okay, I'm back--for several months. 

She has him following her on a press tour where she's talking about how she hasn't signed on for RHoBH newest season because Bravo wants to film Camitry, or Dimille, and she's reluctant to open her private life up like that. 

We know this because she's on a press tour with Dimitry and telling us so. But, one thing we have learned about Camille is that she is so in love with Dimitry, and so ready to keep him at any cost, that she will do anything. 

See, an audiotape has surfaced, and heard in a custody case, in which Camille threatens Dimitri's baby mama, and during a videotaped deposition Dimitri was asked to listen to that phone call between Camille and his baby mama, Lisa, in which Camille threatens her: “If you go to the press, I have lawyers that are beyond what you can imagine and they will pull stuff on you and you will be so mortified about your life and your family and what you have done. You don’t want to do that to Marcus. I will desecrate you, believe me, and that I can do, so be careful what you say and what you do because my defamation attorneys are huge..they will hunt down and research every nook and cranny of your life.”

I just imagine Camille sitting in a big chair suspend by a chain from the ceiling and petting a large fluffy white cat while she says all that. 

And wouldn't that make good RHoBH TV?

We've talked about breakups and ALLEGED stalking makeups, and desperate wannabe hookups, now let's hit some divorce gossip.

Lesbian divorce gossip. Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels.

While the two women were never legally married, even during those ten minutes when equality ruled in California, they did have a civil union ceremony. So, when they broke up, all sorts of stories came out, from both sides, about the other. Tammy was a gold digger. Melissa was a cheating bitch. Isn't it funny how heterosexual it all seems?

Anyway, they eventually worked out some sort of detente, and monthly support plan, and custody arrangement, and Melissa went on with her new life, new wife, new everything. But Tammy Lynn  is still not happy. She recently petitioned the court to increase her child and spousal support above and beyond the $23,000 a month she’s already getting. She is claiming that Melissa is alienating the children against her and that Melissa ALLEGEDLY didn’t give their son antibiotics he needed for his ear infection and will not get the children vaccinated. 

If you need proof that same-sex marriage is like opposite-sex marriage, look no further than a same-sex divorce.

Tammy, who starred in a couple of semi-popular TV shows back in the late 20th century, and early in the 21st, put her career on hold to be mommy to the couple's two children, and now she wants more of the, um, pie. She is claiming that it's hard to raise two kids on 23K a month, especially noting that Melissa earns roughly $177,882.00 a month. 

Tammy got used to an extravagant lifestyle while they were together  and this is just not fair. :::foot stomp...head snap::: Tammy also claims she has “virtually no savings” and would need “extensive retraining” if she were to rejoin the workforce. You know, because acting has changed so much in the five or six years since she gave it up.

Like I said, it all sounds so hetero to me.