Saturday, February 18, 2012

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Desperate is always one of those words that I misspell the first time.
Is it d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e? Or is it d-e-s-p-a-r-a-t-e?
I have a new way to figure it out. Desperate is now spelled O-p-r-a-h.
See, it seems that on Grammy night Oprah took to Twitter to, well, read it for yourself:
And now Desperate, er, Oprah, has issued a public apology for sending that controversial tweet. See, it's against FCC  rules to ask Nielsen box owners, or, in Desperate's case, beg Nielsen box owners, to watch a specific show. It's like vote tampering, and this ain't Florida in 2000 Presidential election. It's television!.
Oprah has since deleted the message "at the request of Nielsen" and added, "I intended no harm and apologize for the reference."
Another spelling check for Oprah: it's N-i-e-l-s-en, not N-e-i-l-s-e-n.
Those who can't spell shouldn't Tweet.

And speaking of Twitter heads,, lots of folks were riled up over Rihanna-=beatin' Chris Brown's two performances at the Grammy's.
Country star Miranda Lambert Tweeted "Chris Brown twice? I don't get it. He beat on a girl ... Not cool that we act like that didn't happen."
And, she Tweeted: "He needs to listen to Gunpowder and lead and be put in his place. Not at the Grammy's." That's a reference to Lambert's 2007 hit "Gunpowder and Lead" with lyrics that describe a woman preparing to kill her abusive husband when he gets out of jail.
 "His fist is big but my gun's bigger," she sings.
Lambert wasn't the only celeb confused by Brown's Grammy presence.
Michelle Branch Tweeted: "Chris Brown ... (bites tongue) have we forgiven him?"  asked.
Modern Family star Eric Stonestreet Tweeted: "Are Chris Brown's mom and dad CBS and Grammy Brown?"
Here's my spin. His assault on Rihanna was in 2009. Isn't it time we gave the guy a second chance? I don't like him, I don't care for his music, but, at some point, you have to just move on.
Sidenote: Chris Brown, responding to all the negative Tweets, Tweeted that his Grammy win was a "big F-U to all the haters."
On Wendy Williams Show this week, she said winning one Grammy wasn't an F-U. She then showed a picture of Adele and said, "Winning six Grammy's is a big F-U."
Loved it.

Last week we saw Lindsay Lohan looking all Tweaked-Of-Face at an amFAR gala in New York. And her media-whore-slash-mother, Dina, told Us Weekly that the Lohan clan would stay in NYC for all of Fashion Week.But then Lindsay flew home almost instantly. And looked all kinds of cray-cray at LAX, even donning big, thick-rimmed glasses for some reason. Was it an attempt at looking smart? Um, no, because this is Lohan we're talking about and no one would buy it. Was it an attempt to look like a professional actress? No, because this is Lohan we're talking about. Maybe she's trying to look all serious so she'll get that Elizabeth Taylor part that she thinks is made for her.
But, that's besides the pint, I guess, because I think Studious Lindsay is on her way to meet an accountant and lawyer to explain why she failed to file income taxes for 2009 and 2010.
But seriously, folks, are Lohan's tax troubles really anything new to someone who's been arrested for practically everything but murder. I mean, she murdered her career but wasn't that really a mercy killing?
Yet, according to documents filed last week, Lindsay never paid federal income taxes for 2010, in the amount of $140,203.30. And she never cut the government a check in 2009 for the $93,701.57 she was supposed to pay.
So far, La Lohan isn't saying anything, though she did blame her lawyers for the 100K slippage in '09.
Same old Lohan. The laws don't apply to her because she's a movie star.And, No, i couldn't say movie star with a straight face.

With Beyonce, you never know what you're gonna get.
Was she pregnant? Maybe. I guess. And did all her minions speak out ever since the Blue birth that she loved being a Mommy and she did everything for her baby; and by everything, I mean she personally interviewed the six nannies for Lil Ivy.
The story has been that she is such a good mother that she cannot get enough of her child and refuses to leave BICV'sside.
Beyonce is enjoying her time off so much--as her publicists keep saying--that she will be releasing not one, but two albums this year and also taking time to star in Clint Eastwood's remake of A Star Is Born.
So, which is she? Devoted stay-at-home Mom or workaholic who turns every single thing she does into a business.
Like the maternity line of clothing she's "designing".
Just sayin'.

Last week, I told you about Connor Cruise--son of so-not-gay Tom Cruise--and his homophobic Tweets after the Super Bowl. And he received all sorts of flak for his use of "gay ass' that he was forced to Tweet the new non-apology.
And now, his peeps, or his Daddy's peeps, because, let's face it, Tommy pimps out his kids for photo ops and such, are pushing news that Connor Cruise could not be in any way anti-gay because his father is so-not-gay and because Connor Cruise, an aspiring DJ, works for all the best gay clubs in Hollywood.
And he will be spinning discs at the 11th annual Oscar viewing party for Aids Project Los Angeles, and he "performs" at the uber-gay Abby.
See, Connor Cruise cannot be a homophobe because gay clubs hire him and AIDS events want him to, too.
Smacks of, "Some of my best friends are gay".....

Talk is that Britney Spears has boarded the Crazy Train again.
Last Saturday, at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party, she looked tired, and beat, and rode hard and put away wet, and now Star Magazine has the scoop about an ALLEGED impending Brit-Brit meltdown. They say Spears was acting wacky when she recently stopped in for a manicure and a neck massage at the Hands On Boutique Spa in Beverly Hills.
An insider--and by that I mean shampoo girl--says, “Her eyes were completely glassy, and she was acting very lethargic. After her massage was over, Britney was asked if she wanted to add another 15 minutes. She looked at the masseuse with a confused look on her face and asked, ‘What does that mean?’ She didn’t seem to understand. The employees were saying, ‘Wow, what’s with her?’”
And, when she was through being rubbed, she stood up and a smattering of coins fell to the floor. Britney didn't even bother to pick them up. That sounds about right, because she probably hasn't seen coins in years.
The source says, “Maybe that was supposed to be the tip. Because she sure as hell didn’t give one! She was sweet – but just an idiot.”
Oh, so maybe she isn't going head-shaving-umbrella-wielding Britney crazy again.
Maybe she's just cheap.

I wasn't happy to read about Seal and Heidi Klum separating. I'd always thought that they were truly in love, especially since they renewed their wedding vows every year. And there was silence from both parties about the split.
But now Seal has stopped wearing his wedding ring--and drew attention to that fact with chartreuse nail polish--even though Heidi still wore hers. Seal said, on Ellen, lats month, that he still wore the ring as “[A] token of how I feel about this woman. We have eight years. Eight wonderful years together … [R]ight now it feels really comfortable on my hand, so I have no intentions of taking it off anytime soon.” 
Oops. Then it came right off.
Perhaps it's because all sorts of stories have begun appearing about Seal's ALLEGED volatility, and now he's decided it's all really over. A former girlfriend, Tatjana Patitz, has decided to jump on the pay-for-stories bandwagon by announcing that Seal had a violent temper during their relationship in the late 1990s relationship. 
And then there's the story that Seal had to be physically restrained by security after he pushed Heidi during a mid-January fight that took place right before the split. 
And now Star Magazine--haven't they been busy this week--reports on Seal’s so-called “double life” and his “hidden” criminal past in the 1980s--he was arrested for selling pot and “promoting prostitution by placing hookers’ numbers in public phone booths.” 
Star also says Seal's horrible temper has caused his children to cry.
So, crying children, pot busts, and hookers. Are they the reasons for the Seal and Heidi split?
The two former lovebirds aren't sayin'.

Well now, two Latinas are spittin' mad.
Well, at least one is pissed.
The National Enquirer--I know, but they broke the John Edwards story--claim that Salma Hayek is pissed off that Sofia Vergara has dethroned her as Hollywood’s go-to Latina bombshell.
A soucre--and by source we all know I mean Salma's galpal, Penelope Cruz--says, “Salma hates Sofia’s thick, put-on gimmick of a Spanish accent and broken English. She says it’s not only getting old, but it’s demeaning and disrespectful to the Latin community. Salma would never disrespect Sofia in public, but everyone close to her knows how she really feels.”
Wait, Salma Hayek, who's been living in America, and making American movies for years, thinks Sofia's accent is phony. Pot.Kettle. What's the Spanish word for Black? Negro.
And Salma is pissed that she can't escape Vergara.  “Sofia is everywhere!” said the source. “She’s in tons of magazine spots, TV commercials, and now films. It’s Sofia overload--and it’s driving Salma crazy.”
As in, "loco en de la cabeza."
I tend to believe this story, because I get a vibe that Salma see herself as queen of Latina actresses. But Salma is also married to man who has enough money to literally burn, so why doesn't she just get over it?
I'm Team Vergara. What about you?

I don't watch The Voice. I'm sort of over all those singing talent shows this year.
But, I am hearing that Voice judge Christina Aguilera is a trainwreck on the show.
A source--and by source, I mean Cee Lo--says, it make take "a village to raise a child. But that’s nothing, it seems, compared to the manpower required to get Christina Aguilera ready for a close-up on the set of The Voice! Christina hasn’t eased up on the partying at all."
They say she shows up bloated and late and then expects wardrobe and make-up miracle workers to turn her into Diva Aguilera from years past. But there isn't that much pancake makeup and corsets on the planEt for that job.
Allegedly, it’s gotten so bad that producers are giving Christina a curfew on the nights before taping. Gotta keep Mam sober and focused.
Or, maybe just give Kelly Clarkson the job.


Ron said...

Damn Bob, you are good! I thoroughly enjoyed your "I Ain't One to Gossip But..." I've been getting both the National Enquirer and Globe for years and you're gossip is ten times better! You're a better writer too. Keep on keep on Bob. Love it!

mistress maddie said...

I swear, if Beyonce comes out with condoms next I'm done!!! I love her, but I'll refuse to wear them! And who is this Britney creature?

froggy said...

Nannies?! Well, poor girl she does have to get out there and make money!!

mrs.missalaineus said...

i also love this feature.....i agree- way better than the tabs and perez


Jim said...

Brittney, Christina and Lindsay all deserve a night out... at my place. LOL (in my dreams)... such pretty messes they are.

R.J. said...

Team Vergara all the way!

Wackford said...

Love it, Bobby-boo!!

Bob said...

Thanks Mrs. DeMille!