Monday, September 27, 2021

A Couple of Mom Stories For Today...

As happens, I have been thinking about my Mom a lot today and I will share two stories of what she was like …

My Mother did not swear. Ever. My Mother once said the word ‘Crap,’ and followed it quickly with, ‘Pardon my French.’ How she raised a son that swears like Cher, or a longshoreman, is a mystery, and yet I never cursed in front of Mother except one time.

I was living in California, about ninety minutes from my parents and Mom called to see if I would dog sit while she and my Dad took a long weekend away. Of course, I said; happy to di it, I said;  Just get me the dates you need me, I said.

One Friday afternoon, Mom called me to say she and dad were getting ready to go and when was I going to arrive. She had never given me a specific date and we went round and round:

know I’ll told you the dates.

No, Mom, you didn’t.

I’m pretty sure I did.

Mom, I asked you for the dates and you said you’d get them for me,

And I got them for you.

No, Mom, you didn’t, and I need to change my schedule now, if I can—

Well, I know I told you!

Mom. That is a fucking lie.


I stood in my house and panicked thinking I’d just cursed in front of my Mother—and I was a grown-assed man at the time, but still—and as I freaked out, my phone rang again:


You said the f-word to your mother?

And that was the only time I ever cursed in front of her.


A sweeter story without swearing … when my Mother called me or I called he, we’d always chat for a good long while, and then she would say:

All right, I need to get off here, Your Dad will be home soon.

And she’d keep taking, until:

All right, sweetie, that’s it for me. I’ll talk to you soon.

And she’d keep talking. And talking. But, when she was actually, truly, finally finished, she’d always say this:

All right, then, Goodbye sweetie, I love you.

And then she was off.

I still miss that send off.

PS That's a picture my Dad took of my Mom when they'd gone down to an inn by the sea for an anniversary weekend.


Treaders said...

I love how your mom just stayed chatting on and on - never really wanting to get off the phone right? That's so lovely!

Janie Junebug said...

My mother had a filthy mouth that was reserved for her children; however, she never dropped the eff bomb and was mightily offended when one of us did. I said "fuck off" once. I think I was 17 or 18. It was a reason for her to call my dad into the fray. I don't know how she drew that line.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Standards were different back in the day, weren't they!

BloggerJoe said...

My mom could teach a sailor to cuss, and was full of "pithy" sayings. But she drew the line at some words, and fuck was one of them. Oddly, she raised us kids not to cuss, and except for my brother, it worked. My sister and I were both business professionals and cussing just wasn't in our vocabularies, normally. But one time, I was home on college vacay, and my brother and I were sniping at each other playfully. I dropped the F bomb, forgetting my mom was standing right beside me. I froze; my brother fell on the floor laughing (cuz I just never cussed); and my mom went silent. After a few months squashed into a few seconds, she said, "I don't think I'm going to tell your father about that one." I never said that word in front of her again.

Sadie J said...

I love that your Mom was a talker on the phone. I talk with my aunt like that, but my mom isn't a talker. It sounds nice.

the dogs' mother said...


Deedles said...

My mother could teach Cher, longshoremen and dear Anne Marie, a thing or two! My father never cussed in seriousness, just playfully when drunk. We children couldn't even say butt growing up. I never got into the habit, I pronounce words too correctly so me cussing is laughable. Never cussed in front of my mother because Deedles sized holes in walls are unattractive. Your mother sounds like such a sweetheart. *Sigh*

Moving with Mitchell said...

That first conversation would have made ME want to swear at my mother. (I swore in front of mine in her later years, but never AT her, although I often wanted to.) I love the predictability of the phone conversation. Great p

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Staying on the phone after she'd said good bye? Such a Mom thing to do! So sweet. And you KNOW moms did not swear. When they did, it was trouble!!

Luv the stories.


Linda said...

I hadn’t thought about it but neither of my parents cussed. And you would think my dad, being in the motion picture industry, would have had a salty vocabulary. This apple fell far from the tree

uptonking said...

Thanks for sharing some of your personal history, Bob. Moms are the best. Kizzes.

VRCooper said...

Bob--We love Mom!! Just think she was a NURSE and I am sure she heard a few swear words in her time.

My Mom never cursed. And we never did around her. It just wasn't done. I have never been much of a swearer. Now don't get me wrong, I can drop a few here and there for emphasis but for the most part, it is not those words I choose to express myself.

Steve Reed said...

My mom used to do the same thing. She'd say she was about to "let me go" but then she'd keep talking. I talked to her on the phone more than I've ever talked to ANYONE! Sadly, she is no longer up to phone conversations these days. :(