Seriously. Retire Already

If I were one of those addle-brained, God-fearing men that believe the tornadoes were sent to Joplin, Missouri because of something Obama said about Israel, or that Katrina decimated New Orleans because of The Gays, I might think that the fires sweeping through Arizona have something to do with all those illegal immigrants that are down there taking jobs away from Americans and selling drugs and beheading people in the desert.

But I'm not, though, I think I found someone who is.

Old John "Get offa my porch, dagnabbit" McCain, says the fires in Arizona are being caused by illegals: "There is substantial evidence that some of these fires are caused by people who have crossed our border illegally....They have set fires because they signal others, they have set fires to keep warm, and they have set fires in order to divert law enforcement agents and agencies from them. The answer to that part of the problem is to get a secure border."

McCain uttered his baseless accusation at a press conference held just after he toured the area devastated by the Wallow Fire, which has burned over 500,000 acres to date.

Trouble is, as usual, McCain is apparently speaking out of his ass. He offered no evidence to support his claim, and Tom Berglund, a U.S. Forest Service spokesman, said there is no evidence that undocumented immigrants had caused the Wallow fire: "Absolutely not, at this level. There's no evidence that I'm aware, no evidence that's been public, indicating such a thing.”

Latino groups and anyone with half a brain quickly blasted McCain for his idiotic remarks. Angelo Falcon, the president of the National Institute for Latino Policy, said, "With the lack of evidence, he might as well also blame aliens from outer space for the fires.”

Don't give him any ideas!

On Monday morning, McCain's handlers went into action, trying to cover his half-brained rants by saying that he was referring to blazes in southern Arizona generally, both now and in years past. Brooke Buchanan, Senator McCain's communications director, said, "During the press conference on Saturday, Senator McCain was referring to fires on the Arizona/Mexico border, not the Wallow Fire.”

Except that was giving the press conference at the site of the Wallow Fire, so your explanation, Brooke, is just dumb. Like your Senator.

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