Overheard At Work

Client [obviously not from around here]: How long have you lived in South Carolina?
Me [lying...because I know where this is headed]: My whole life.
Client: Wow, you don't sound like it at all.
Me: That's because I graduated from the fifth grade.


Co-worker: People keep saying I need to lose my accent.
Other Co-worker: People say that to me, too, but I don't know how.
Me: I know how.
Co-worker and Other Co-worker [in unison]: How?
Me [I am a real southern boy, having been born in Mississippi]: Move to California like I did.
Co-worker: When did you move to California?
Me: When I was six-months old. See? no accent!


Co-worker [pulling up her tank top]:  I keep forgetting I have huge breasts.
Me: Really? That would be like me forgetting I have a huge penis.
Co-worker: How?
Me: I keep tripping over it.