Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Don't Piss Off Oscar

Michael Avmen is a Hollywood newcomer who thought attending the Academy Awards would be the highlight of his burgeoning career. 
Instead, the actor claims that he and his wife were "tentatively confirmed" as guests, but were "held against their will" for six hours in the Academy's "detention center," interrogated about how they were able to get onto the red carpet without tickets and accused of lying and trespassing.
Who knew Oscar had a detention center? I mean, I was once pistol-whipped by Emmy, and by Grammy, but Oscar goes a step further.
Of course, as all folks do, Avmen has filed a $50 million lawsuit against the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for illegal false imprisonment and intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress. In other words, they were mean to him.
According to the suit, Avmen was told he'd been offered a tentative invitation to the event, but despite several attempts by Avmen and his publicist, they were unable to locate the tickets. Avmen claims the tickets were waiting for him at the venue, and even states that it's not unusual for the Academy to hold tickets inside; Robert Downey Jr. also received his tickets on the day of the event.
Um, Michael Avmen? I know Robert Downey, Jr. I've worked alongside Robert Downey Jr. And, you, sir, are no Robert Downey Jr.
Still, Avmen and the missus donned their Oscar finery, and on March 7th, the couple met with an usher for the event who took them from their hotel to a "resolution desk," where Avmen met an Academy employee with whom he'd been in contact.
After six hours of interrogation by a large gold statue, uniformed Los Angeles police officers arrived and took the Avmen's to the station, where no charges were filed. Avmen claims officers apologized profusely for how they were treated by Academy officials.
Of course, it doesn't end there. Avmen's lawsuit claims he and his wife were "injured in health, strength and activity" and "sustained injury to his and her body and shock and injury to their nervous system" and have since suffered "humiliation, mental anguish and emotional and physical distress."
Michael Avmen? That fledgling career you have in Hollywood just might be over. Yes, you have small parts in upcoming 2010 releases Broken Blade, Battle: Los Angeles, and Straw Dogs, but you pissed off the wrong award.
Oscar is the biggie. Maybe Tony would stand for your bull shiz, but not Oscar.
Never EVER Oscar.

3 comments:

  1. He needs to pick his battles much better than this!

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  2. Michael. Sweetie. Life often contains emotional distress.
    You don't get compensated for it.

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  3. Hmmmm, it says he met with the person he had been in contact with all along. So why then would they interrogate them? That seems weird. The lawsuit is ridiculous though.

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