Usually when I write about Oklahoma it’s because they’re acting like homophobic bigots and I call them Oklahomo; this time they’re acting the fool so ... Oklastupid?
See, last week State Senator Ralph Shortey was arrested and charged with engaging in prostitution, engaging in prostitution within 1,000 feet of a church, and transporting a minor for prostitution.
He was busted having sex with a thirteen year old boy.
Shortey spent a of couple hours at the Cleveland County Jail and posted a $100,000 bond and is now free.
Prosecutors claim Shortey offered the boy money for sex, then picked up the boy and took him to a motel for that purpose. They also claim the boy sent a message to Shortey, saying he needed money for spring break at which point Shortey asked if he “would be interested in sexual stuff.”
The teen replied “yes.”
In the messages, Shortey reportedly called the teen “baby boy” and the boy would respond by calling Shortey “Daddy.” Police say Shortey used a graphic word and replied that he was going to have sex with the teen “like a good little boy if you keep calling me daddy.”
There are also allegations that Shortey had messaged the teen asking if he wanted to smoke some weed, and asking him to bring a pipe and a lighter. Authorities say room reeked of marijuana, though they didn’t find any in an initial search; they did find an open box of condoms and lotion in a backpack.
Sick enough right? But here’s where Oklastupid comes in ... Ralph Shortey has not resigned from the Oklahoma Senate—though his colleagues suspended him and took his name off his door, and called for his resignation—but, even if Ralph Shortey is convicted on every count against him he’ll be able to keep his state retirement, because he’s been in office long enough.
I guess that means if you’re an elected official in Oklahoma who likes to have sex with boys, keep it a well-guarded secret until you put enough years into the job that you can keep your retirement checks.
While Oklastupid has a law that strips elected officials of their pension if they are convicted of a felony like bribery, corruption, or perjury, it does not include a felony like prostitution with a minor so Little Ralphie Shortey who likes to **** little boys will get to keep over $9,000 a year from the state when he retires.
As I said ... Oklastupid.