I Didn't Say It ....

Kyle Kurdziolek, a student and football player at the University of St. Francis, coming out as gay:

“I feel so relieved now, like, I’m so happy about the person I am today, just being able to get that off my chest and feel comfortable about who I am. I don’t have to hide behind this mask anymore, I don’t have to conform to some norm anymore. I can be Kyle Kurdziolek, I can be who I want to be and without no restrictions.”

Again, isn’t that what we all want ... to be ourselves?

And how anyone can be offended by that is beyond me.

Welcome out, Kyle, and please accept, as our Coming Out gifts, a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

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Dan Rather, on _____ and the building resistance:

"For all who excused Mr. _____’s rhetoric in the campaign as just talk, the reckoning has come. I hope it isn’t true, but I fear Mr. _____ is nearing or perhaps already beyond any hope of redemption. And now the question is will enough pressure be turned to all those who enable his antics with their tacit encouragement. There has been a wall of unbending support from virtually every Republican in Congress, and even some Democrats. Among many people, this will be seen as anything approaching acceptable. And mind you, talk is cheap. No one needs to hear how you don’t agree with the President. What are you going to do about it? Do you maintain that an Administration that seeks to subvert the protections of our Constitution is fit to rule unchecked? Or fit to rule at all?”

Talk is cheap, Democrats ... and to those few Republicans yet to drink the Kool-Aid.

Do something, or you’ll find yourselves out of a job, too.

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Seth Meyers, on Hair Furor pulling those Obama-era guidelines instructing schools allowing transgender students to use the bathroom in accordance with their gender identity:

“Hey! What are you doing? As I understand it, you were elected to bring jobs back to the U.S. Now you don’t want to let transgender kids use the bathroom of the gender they identify with? Do you think that’s why the auto industry went to Mexico? For the bathrooms? First you demonize Muslims, then immigrants, and now the transgender community. Hey, just because you want to bring back coal mining doesn’t mean you have to bring back everything from the 1800s. And hey! During the election, you told the LGBT community that — and I quote — ‘I will fight for you.’ Did you not mean to include the word ‘for’? There’s apparently this fear that transgender kids are using [these rights] as a ruse to sneak into restrooms and grab people by the genitals, but if you’re looking for the kind of person who would do that, you need to look no further than the Oval Office. Melania, I know you wanted to work on an anti-bullying campaign, and now I know where you can start!”

Sometimes it’s the comics who speak the truth, and now it’s our job to run with it.

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders, _____ Deputy White House Press Secretary, on This Week with George Stephanopoulos explaining why _____ won’t attend the Correspondent’s Dinner:

“George, I think it’s safe to say I think we all spend enough time around each other as it is. But, look, this wasn’t a president that was elected to spend his time with reporters and celebrities, this is a president who campaigned on speaking directly to Americans, and that’s what he’s going to spend his time doing. I think it’s — kind of naive of us to think that we can all walk into a room for a couple of hours and pretend that some of that tension isn’t there. You know, one of the things we say in the south if a Girl Scout egged your house, would you buy cookies from her? I think that this is a pretty similar scenario. There’s no reason for him to go in and sit and pretend like this is going to be just another Saturday night.”

Oh Sarah, you ignorant tool. You are speaking for a man who runs to the press every chance he gets, who tosses his own eggs at the media and is now running scared. Too bad, so sad; but what will be great is the level of high-larity aimed at _____ while he sits at home Mean Tweeting during the dinner.

If he can’t handle the heat, get out of the White House.

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Jon Stewart, with Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, on _____’s relationship with the media.

"Trump lies more in one press conference than CNN does in a year — and that's coming from a guy who hates CNN. You wanna know how I know how? Because he constantly says the phrase 'believe me.' Nobody says 'believe me' unless they are lying."

True dat.

And then factor in that the instant _____ says anything fact-checkers prove, prove, he’s lying.

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