I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Oh, it simply isn't a good week unless Lindsay makes the news.
And she has, by starring in a Direct-To-Surveillance Video production of Did She Or Didn't She?

It seems that Kamofie & Co--where Lindsay ALLEGEDLY stole the necklace, that she gave back ten days later just as the police were coming to search her house for it--has sold the surveillance video that shows Sticky Fingers Lohan leaving their store without, um, well, paying for everything.
A source--and by source, I mean Lindsay's fence--says: "The jewelry store wanted a bidding war to maximize profits."
And apparently Entertainment Tonight had the maximum cash.
And this little bit of news is two-fold--good and bad--for Machine Gun Lohan.
On one hand, it is just another bit of embarrassment for the serial rehabber, drug addict, carjacker and kidnapper.
But, on the other hand, it doesn't look good for the prosecution when the jewelry store makes a profit off the ALLEGED crime.
So, some are saying Bugsy Lohan just may have gotten a break.
Another one.

There are reports coming from across the pond--that would be the Atlantic Ocean for some of the less worldly readers--that George Michael's partner Kenny Goss has left the singer.

Sources--and by sources I mean the guys kept on retainer for keeping George out of the public restrooms--say that Goss, Michael's partner for more than 15 years, has finally had enough of the singer's troubled lifestyle, like his drug problems and his serial cruising issues.
George Michael, in a kind of Lindsay lohan sentence, served 27 days of an eight-week sentence for crashing his car into a photo booth while under the influence of marijuana.
And that last incident might have been the coke straw that broke the camel's back.
But all may not be lost for the happily gay duo.
It seems that George Michael is taking a page from another druggie's handbook--that would be Charlie Sheen--and going on radio to say that he and Kenny are fine, and still together. He also Tweeted--because that's the new thing--that the reports of the Goss/Michael split are untrue: "Would someone Tweet 5wrightstuff and tell them the Sun is lying through its teeth as usual."
Michael later on called into the show to personally say that the story was untrue: "It is complete b******t about myself and Kenny breaking up. Don't believe this story. We've had our problems, but he's never had a problem with my lifestyle. I love Kenny very much."
Kenny, however, has no comment.

NeNe Leakes is one mean bitch.
First, she ended the season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta with yet another big fight with castmate, and fake boobery, Kim Zolciak.

Then she took aim at her co-star on Celebrity Apprentice, Miss Star I'm a lawyer! Jones.
And she's taking her feud to every TV show imaginable, in what I call The Charlie Sheen Syndrome.
On The Talk, which is a knock-off of The View, the show that knocked Star Jones off TV in the first place, NeNe said: "Star's not nice. I believe...that anybody who has ever worked with her would side with me. She's not a nice person. She's a witch...with a 'b' in front."
NeNe then goes on to say that, in her usual way of being all sweetness and light, when she first joined Apprentice, she went to dinner and lunch with Star--grrrrrl, you know Star just loves to eat--and even double-dated with Jones, because she had "no preconceived notions" and "wanted to get to know her."
Now she says Star is a "back stabber."
Hearing the word stab being bandied about, Star Jones ALLEGEDLY hired security to protect her.
And bring her sammiches.

Another of those "real" housewives, Jill Zarin, of The Real Housewives of New York, is now saying that her friendship with Bethenny Frankel, played out for three season on the show, was really not a friendship at all.

Which explains why, at the last reunion show, Zarin cried and begged Frankel to be her friend again.
Now, Zarin calls it a "TV romance" that went bad.
Jill Zarin: "The truth is, I don't even remember being friends with her anymore. You know, when I see her picture and when I see her on TV, I don't even remember our relationship. Which kinda says something."
Yeah..................about you and your idea of friendship.
The duo's "friendship" went up in flames last year on RHoNY, no doubt helped by Jill Zarin's obsession with Bethenny, even going so far as to break the news of Bethhenny's pregnancy before Bethenny even had the chance to do it herself.
Jill now says she's fine with the non-existent-friendship-that-never-was: "People thought we came into the show with that romance," she said. "We didn't. We fell in love on TV and we got a divorce on TV."
And please don't make anything of Jill's latest revelations coming just as RHoNY is about to start it's first season, without Frankel.
Yeah......no jealousy there.

Oh, Nicky.

A mere three months after being videotaped going Charlie Sheen outside a nightclub in Romania, Nicolas Cage was once again involved in an incident at a New Orleans bar and had to be escorted back to his hotel.
It seems that police were called to upscale restaurant Stella on Chartres Street night after a window was broken, and, upon arrival, authorities determined that Nic should be escorted back to his hotel for his "own safety."
The police say: "We can confirm that we did respond to an incident at that location on Friday night at around 10:45PM and that Mr. Cage needed some assistance to go back to his hotel. A window was found to be broken at the restaurant, but the owners decided it was an internal matter and that they would handle it."
In other words, don't give any bad press to Nicolas Cage.
He's a big star. He was in Moonstruck and.....and.......and........anyone?

You know , sometimes you ought to just cut your losses and walk away.
Or, if you can't, well, then, just walk away.
You've all heard the drama about the $65 million Broadway production Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, right? Accidents? People falling from the sky. Broken bones. Concussions.
And that's just at the ticket booth.
I kid.

Well, Julie Taymor, the Tony Award-winning director of the The Lion King was essentially a fail-safe to lead the biggest musical production in Broadway history. And with a score by living rock legends U2's Bono and The Edge, the show's destiny as a wild success seemed set in stone.
A stone falling from the sky.
Now the production is practically bankrupt, there has been one major cast overhaul, five delayed openings, four cast injuries--one nearly fatal--and a slew of scathing reviews.
And the show hasn't even opened yet!
So, ALLEGEDLY, looking for a scapegoat, producers might be willing to let Julie go.
Sources--and by sources I mean the web spinning team--say that negotiations took place this week, which including Julie's request for more control, of rewriting the script, rewriting the score and, again, setting a new date for its release.
But, according to the source, the producers are looking to get Julie Taymor out of there and replace her with........Bono!?!?
Despite admitting the production is flawed, Taymor has asserted that it's headed in the right direction.
Toward closing before it officially opens, I think.

Hey, can't people be addicted to fame? And, if so, can't they get help for it?
Well, apparently not if you're one-half of the White House Part Crashing Duds, Michaele Salahi, who was kicked out of the latest season of Celebrity Rehab when it was discovered that she suffered no addictions.

Well, except for that whole addicted to see her skeletal frame and ratted hair and fat jerk of a husband on TV.
You know, that kind of addiction.
A source--and by source I mean Mackenzie Phillips, who is still in rehab--says Salahi was released from the show as she failed to show any signs of an addiction: "Dr. Drew did a thorough medical examination of her, including a full neurological check-up, and she is fine. Michaele is all drama, that is her main issue."
Ain't drama an addiction?
See: Charlie Sheen.
See: Lindsay Lohan.
The source also claims Michaele was a distraction for other cast members and complained Dr. Drew wasn't properly treating her multiple sclerosis.
Um, Michaele? You bag of rattling fame obsessed bones, he's an addiction doctor, so unless you're saying you're addicted to MS, get the f**k out, and shut the f**k up.
Michaele's husband Tareq "I Wouldn't Know The Truth If It Rode Up To Me On A Polo Pony Drinking Wine From My Vineyard" Salahi says his fame-addled wife only agreed to do the show to get help with her MS: "She was really leaning on Dr. Drew who is a respected doctor to get her through some of the issues after the White House, when she went to Congress, when she went into relapse with her multiple sclerosis. She takes this very seriously."
No, she takes feeding her fame addiction seriously.

Mel Gibson too the deal!

According to sources--and by sources I mean the voices in his head--Gibson has taken a plea deal in his ongoing criminal case. He is said to be making an appearance in court this week and make a no contest battery plea.
That means he did it, but won't do jail time for hitting the mother of his child.
It seems that Melvin had a change of heart about the deal when he learned that Alexander "Sasha" Dalton, the son of Mel's ALLEGEDLY abused baby mama Oksana Grigorieva, was set to testify as the star witness.
As Astro might say: Ruh Roh.
A source--and by source I mean any one of the countless people who been subjected to the abuses of Mel Gibson...and I count myself among them because I say Signs, too--says: "One major reason why this case was being brought against Mel Gibson, more than a year after the alleged incident took place, is because Sasha was made available to testify at a potential criminal trial against Mel. Sasha's involvement and cooperation in the case was absolutely essential, and because he is a minor, both of his parents had to agree to let him participate, and that took some time to make happen."
So, Melvin caved, and admitted he's a spousal batterer to save his Catholic behind from prison where he would no doubt star in Prison Bitch. 

Rihanna has announced that she will not be playing the Whitney Houston role in a remake of The Bodyguard.

Rihanna says she won't take the role because the part isn't challenging enough for her, and plus, she spends most of her time keeping her hair that color of red, and, well, that's more important.
Rihanna also says she would rather escape into a role and not just play a singer: "Absolutely not. I want to separate the two. I hate it when singers do singing movies all the time, because you can never look at them as anybody else."
So, um, that's all good, you know, that she turned down the role, except for that one nagging bit of information she forgot to mention:
No.One.Offered.Her.The.Role.
Yes, she turned down a role that was even hers. And, she turned it down because she wanted to make her big screen debut in, oh, this is rich, Battleship, the movie version of that popular game.
You sunk my battleship.
And ALLEGEDLY, her film career.