by Allen Clifton at Forward Progressives:
Before getting started, let me throw out a couple of disclaimers. First, the title is partially hyperbole. Some of the people I’m going to refer to as “psychopaths” are clearly bad people, though I’m not sure if clinically they’ve been diagnosed as being, in fact, a psychopath. Also, for the sake of argument, I’m going to include quotes from Republicans who haven’t yet announced that they’re officially running for president, but they most likely will.
This is just an article meant to poke some fun at the ridiculousness of the Republican party and the absurd nonsense for which they stand.
Let’s get started.
1. “Those who are most sensitive about ‘politically incorrect’ terminology are not the average black ghetto-dweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society.”
2. “You feel a bond with this community. The bond is that they’re fellow gun owners and believe in gun rights and survivalists and freedom lovers.”
3. “I would be willing to stand all by myself and to call fire from Heaven and believe that God will answer even if there are hundreds and hundreds of false prophets on the other side. You may stand here someday and be called upon to call the fire from Heaven. I hope you’re ready to believe that God will answer that prayer.”
4. "Today Christians stand at the head of this country, I pledge that I never will tie myself to parties who want to destroy Christianity. We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit. We want to burn out all the recent immoral developments in literature, in the theater, and in the press – in short, we want to burn out the poison of immorality which has entered into our whole life and culture as a result of liberal excess during the past years.
5. “In the ‘not-too-distant-future,’ eugenics is common. And DNA plays a primary role in determining your social class.”
6. “Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that. I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that. And I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”
7. “Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may not be as strong and as capable as men.”
8. “You know, something may be going down tonight, but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart.”
9. “You and I both know that the ‘Big Government crowd’ isn’t just the Left, it also includes some on the Right. An excess of power and government is always, always, always, a fundamental threat to liberty.”
10. “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
Answers after the jump:
1. Ted Kaczynski aka the Unabomber.
2. Timothy McVeigh praising the Branch Dividian cult.
3. Mike Huckabee
4. Adolf Hitler
5. Rand Paul plagiarizing the plot from the movie Gattaca.
6. Rick Perry
7. Ted Kaczynski
8. Chris Christie
9. Ted Cruz
10. Adolf Hitler
How did you do?