Thursday, April 09, 2015

Random Musings

Around Casa Bob y Carlos, I do most of the cooking, especially dinner. I like it; it’s not a chore. Carlos, on the other hand, likes to say that he does ‘breakfast,’ when what he does is make the Café con leche and pour me a glass of juice. He then prepares his own breakfast and I make my own meal. In a note of complete transparency, Carlos will make breakfast on Sunday, like Pancakes or a Martha Stewart Dutch Baby pancake-like concoction.

But I digress.

See, as we get ready to go to bed, Carlos will ask what I want for breakfast — which I find funny since he doesn’t make it — and I’ll say, ‘Fruit and toast’ or ‘Cereal.’ One day last week, I answered, ‘Would you make oatmeal.’ He said he would.

The next morning, yes, you guessed it, no oatmeal. And when asked about it, politely as I could since I am not a morning person, he replied that I’d never told him I wanted oatmeal, meaning he believed the entire conversation to be all in my head.

How.Dare.He! Usually in situations like this, I will begin singly, sadly and oh-so-off-key, ‘Mister Cellophane,’ from Chicago, but this morning I took a different route:

♫♪ I’m forgettable … in every way …
I asked for oatmeal … I guess, not today …
Darling that’s why it’s regrettable …
That I am totally forgettable …
I guess my oatmeal, is forgettable too ♫♪

Breakfast and a concert; ah, life at Casa Bob y Carlos.
Rand Paul’s running for President. The good news is that he’ll lose; the better news is that it appears he will also lose his seat in the Senate as well, because he can’t run for President and retain his seat.

Bye Rand.

Oh, and take Marco Rubio with you, too, because he’s planning his big announcement” soon as well, and, yeah, not presidential.
Okay, I have a confession to make: I … watch … The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
There. I said it. Go ahead and judge. But, before you do, let me relay this tale:

On this week’s reunion, Kim, the Krazy One, was implying that Lisa Rinna’s husband, the totes adorbs Harry Hamlin, had a secret and Lisa Rinna said, and I ‘ll quote:

‘What is it, Kim? Is he fucking the dog? Is Harry fucking the dog?’

I simply love the irreverence of that, and the WTFuckery of it, and I have been asking everyone that question all week.

Try it: ‘Is Harry fucking the dog?’

Out there is Fargo North Dakota, the local paper, the Forum of Fargo-Moorhead made a bold statement for LGBT equality when it featured the photos of every single North Dakota congressional Representative who voted against LGBT non-discrimination protections.

Matthew Von Pinnon, the paper’s editor, says it wasn’t intended as a shaming tool but:

“We did it simply to convey the info people wanted to know, no matter which side of the issue they are on. They wanted to know how each lawmaker voted. We shared all votes, including from the Senate, which had earlier narrowly passed the bill.”

Look, spin it how you like, but you showed the ‘No’ votes so the people of North Dakota will know who is pro LGBT discrimination.
I loves me some Taraji P. Henson. I am totally Team Cookie, but … girl needs to check it.
She’s hosting Saturday Night Live this week, and actually said this about it:

“It’s like a dream come true. Legends do SNL. I’m a legend.”

Bitch please. You are the breakout star of a TV show — which I love love love — that’s been on barely a season. That does not a legend make.

Hopefully Cookie won’t come for me now that I’ve said that.
Overheard at Work:

Co-worker: ‘Can you believe that guy is wearing flip-flops with long pants? I’ve never seen anything so hideous.’

Bob: ‘Really? Don’t you own a mirror?’

Co-worker: ‘What does that mean?’

Bob: ‘It means: two-toned hair, a pastel color-blocked shirt and skinny jeans. Honey? No … no.’
Okay, yeah, I know! He’s been here before, and a lot. Sue me. I think Timothy Olyphant is hotter than hot and his show, Justified, is airing its series finale next week and, well, there goes my weekly Timothy Olyphantasy.



mistress maddie said...

Just another day I see with Life with Bob and Carlos! And who can complain over free concert music? Not to worry about judgments.....i watch the Real Housewives of Melbourne

the dogs' mother said...

I wear Birkenstock sandals with socks. There is no saving me!!

John Gray said...

I enjoyed that
A snippet of life well told

anne marie in philly said...

just for the hell of it, I sang your song...out loud...for the cats to hear!

Bob Slatten said...

I watch that one too, because the accents make me giggle.

:::gulp::: So do I!!

@John Gray
Thanks! Glad you liked!

I sing to my cats all the time, which is why they're hiding most of the time!

Mitchell is Moving said...

Thanks for making me smile today. Carlos makes coffee and pours juice? Carlos makes pancakes? I had no idea he was a gourmet. Maybe he could give me lessons? Nah, maybe he can just make ME oatmeal.

Yes, I am very disappointed to learn that you watch Real Housewives of ... anywhere. And to think until now I had hero-worshipped you.

Blobby said...

Beverly Hills. Of course Kim is nuts, but no one has called Lisa R or that Eileen wench out. While "calmly" doesn't work for shows like this, it would be easy to say: 'did I not say on x, y and z occasion to stop saying this?' Which Kim actually did. And they didn't. So fuck them.

And Kyle - really? is it possible for her NOT to cry at any event? And what bad bad bad botox or plastic surgery she had for the reunion.

Bob Slatten said...

Solid points all, but Kim gets the big Kray Points.
And you're right about Kyle ... that face, of stone.

Real Housewives are my Kryptonite ... or something.

Robb Delman said...

I too am in pre-grieving mode over the end of "Justified"

Mark in DE said...

Great "arrangement" of that song, Bob!!

The Real Housewives, Bob? REALLY???