Design Star!

Well, another season of drama, in-fighting, cat-fighting, diva behavior, tears and bitchslaps is upon us. And, no, I don't mean it's Thanksgiving at my house.
It.s Design Star, and it starts tonight.
A few changes, though. No more Clive with his smarmy British accent. He's been replaced by Tanika Ray with her You go girl accent. And we also have the addition of HGTV resident gay, David Bromstad, as mentor to the designers. And by mentor, I mean, the one who will tell them they suck.
The judges remain the same. The delightfully talented Candice Olson. The hack designer who must have schtupped half of HGTV, and I mean, the men and the women, to get a show, Genevieve Gorder. And the altitude challenged Vern Yip. Does anyone know what he does besides this? I mean, you never see him on HGTV and yet they call him an HGTV star.
But I digress. let's meet the designtestants. And by meet, i mean, judge them based on their photos and their bios. If you can't make an instant judgement on someone based on the way they look, well, you need to head back to Blogger Snark 101.
Let's dish:

Cathy Hobbs is 42, and hails from Brooklyn, which means she's kind of a street fighter and probably a former gang member. She's one to watch. Except........she's a five-time Emmy Award winning journalist, who gave that all up to go to design school.
Huh? What? Huh? She gave up being the next Barbara Walters to be the next Genevieve Gorder? Grrrrl, you needs to rethink.
Cathy now owns a flourishing interior design company and specializes in residential and commercial properties. She says that her signature design style includes Asian influences paired with touches of Hollywood glamour.
Asian. Hollywood glamour.
That's design speak for diva.
i think she might cut a bitch.
 

Blanche Garcia is just 32 and comes to us from Montclair, New Jersey.
She had a rough time growing up, moving a lot, being poor, and then having her father die unexpectedly. But what kept Blanche going--and seriously, folks, this is from the HGTV Design Star web page--"was her dream of becoming an interior designer."
I'm poor. I move all the time, and my dad died, but as God is my witness, I will never use chintz again!
Blanche is a licensed interior designer and business owner with many high-end residential and commercial clients. She calls her style "green glam" and loves to enhance traditional eco-friendly materials with touches of glamour and luxury.
Green glam.
She's a diva, too, but when she cuts a bitch, she uses renewable bamboo.

Bret Ritter is the whippersnapper of the group at just 30.
Like Cathy--whom he never met in a street fight...that's his story and he's sticking to it--he also comes from  Brooklyn.
He grew up as a military brat, meaning he loves the soldiers, and has lived all over the world. His love for design, and soldiers, was enhanced by each and every move. Don't ask, don't tell, grrrl.
Bret, who holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Art Center Design College in Tucson--one of the premier design schools...........in Tuscon--and is a project manager for an eco-conscious construction company in New York City.
Bret says he loves mid-century design--meaning older men--that includes environmentally friendly, energy-efficient building materials--meaning hippies--and though he describes himself as nice guy, he has been known "to get very intense when he works."
Another diva.

Doug Hines is 40 and comes from the ATL. He was born and raised in New York City, and just lurves the arts--and....ALLEGEDLY....hats--which have always been a part of his life. He studied visual arts and design and then later turned his passion for aesthetics into a career, working for several of New York's top advertising agencies as a graphic designer before moving to Atlanta 12 years ago to open an art gallery.
it was his talent for art consultation that led to him designing interiors for several of Atlanta's restaurants and nightclubs. While his favorite design style is mid-century modern--he and Bret will be BFFS--he also loves the glamour of Hollywood regency and the sleekness of modern minimalism.
Another one who says they love glam.
But he also loves antiquing and going to yard sales.
So, kind of recycled glam, like Lady Gaga does to Madonna?

J Allen--Really? Just an initial? I think the J stands for JustThinksTooMuchOfHerself.
Anyhoo, J is 31 and is here from Chevy Chase, Maryland.
Her parents wanted J--this initial thing already annoys me--to pursue a career in political science, but J had no intention of being another H Clinton or M Thatcher. She decided to follow her dream and become a designer, where people with no real first names can flourish without being mocked......much.
Now, with more than 11 years of professional experience, she has designed dozens of residential and commercial properties across the country. J says she can do anything for her clients, whether it's paint a room, build a table or reupholster furniture, and characterizes her design style as eclectic and modern.
Which means it's new, but it doesn't match.
I think J might be the biggest B of the season.

Karl Sponholtz is 42, and is joining us from Chicago.
As a kid, Karl says his love of design was "there from the beginning" meaning he was born that way. By age 10, he began to rearrange his parents' furniture while they weren't home and was mesmerized by building blocks and floor plans....and, maybe, Barbie.
Karl studied architecture at the University of Illinois in Chicago, has more than 10 years of practical design experience and says that he can excite people with his passion for design. Not to mention his jeans. Damn, he looks pretty fine in thewm jeans.
He calls his design preference--Hey! It's called an null!--"ultra-modern minimalist," but often completes traditional designs for his high-end clientele.
Karl is extroverted, loud and loves to live in the moment.
Which means we'll see him without his shirt a lot.
Fine by me.

Kellie Clements is 33 and is from Edmond, Oklahoma.
She calls herself a "fireball," which is Midwest-speak for bitch, bless her heart, and is a married mom of two. 
She also says that people sometimes underestimate her design talent, which means she may go home first because she isn't a designer, but just a mom with a lot of spare time.
Kellie grew up in an artistic family and was actually allowed, by her parents, to mix paints and create artwork in their studio. She holds a degree in interior design from the University of Central Arkansas--where you can also study corn--and has more than 10 years of professional experience as a designer, which means she keeps repainting her kids' rooms.
She calls her design style "warm contemporary" — that is, it includes lots of color and whimsical touches.
Which means out-of-date and, well, ugly.

Kevin Grace is 42, hails from Chicago, and is the required bald guy on these shows. Think I'm kidding? have you seen Vic Vegas on Food Network Star?
'Nuff said.
Kevin is a fashion merchandise director and window dresser--he dresses himself in windows?--who was first inspired to become an interior designer by watching design shows on TV.
Huh. Like me.
Encouraged by friends who loved his room designs, Kevin decided to follow his dreams and audition for HGTV Design Star. So, um, he's not a designer, but he wants to play one on TV? Still, he could be the dark horse here. The bald dark horse.
He describes his favorite style as "eclectic retro" — a look with a mid-century feel that includes clean lines and pops of color. Which also means gay. Maybe.
He says he designs with "cheap" in mind and understands the importance of repurposing items whenever possible.
He's recycled.

Leslie Ezelle is 43 and is from Dallas; hence that hair.
Naturally, and I am so not making this up, Leslie is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, cruise ship entertainer and mom of a blended family.
Gimme an O. Gimme an M. Gimme a G. What's that spell?
O.M.G.
Leslie has a wide variety of design experience ranging from remodels to home staging for real estate agents, and describes herself as fun with a larger-than-life personality.
That means she'll always be perky and happy and may, at some point, end up nail-gunned to a wall.
She helps clients "tame their domain" and believes that a stress-free, organized home offers the happiest and healthiest environment. She says her design aesthetic.....gimme a minute while she looks up the definition of aesthetic......is  "simple, traditional elegance;" a less-is-more design philosophy.
That means she won't finish her designs very often.
But she'll cheer on everyone else!

Mark Diaz is our 33-year-old, Latino cutie from Miami.
C'mon, you know how much I loves the cutie Latinos from Miami!
Mark is Cuban and Italian family, which means he can be loud, but, grrl, can he cook. He also says he's always had a natural knack for design, and even won a scholarship for his design work in high school.
With a self-described passion for edgy, modern styles, he moved to New York City where he specialized in luxury hospitality design--picture a W Hotel with gilt mirrors and zebra rugs. His favorite design styles are mid-century modern, Asian minimalism and postwar industrial.
Is everyone either glam or mid-century modern? Well, everyone but the cheerleader and the mom, I mean.
Mark also fuses his love of martial arts into his design, creating a line of chandeliers crafted from brass knuckles.
Which means there will be plenty of light for that Fight Club.
Hot. And kinda scary.

Meg Caswell is 33, and yet another designer from Chicago.
She says she began her career in design the moment she decided not to attend law school.
Which means she failed her LSATs more times than anyone in history and then changed course.
She did, however, earn a degree in criminology before attending The Art Institute of Chicago; I'm intrigued how this will play into her design. Mug shots and fingerprints? Body bags and footprints?
She actually believes that the interpersonal skills she learned during her criminology studies help her develop profiles of her clients and uncover their true design preferences. I'm sensing this means she actually interrogates her clients. Tell me what you want, bitch!!
As the owner of a design firm and a home decor store in Chicago, Meg characterizes herself as a determined, direct and high-energy competitor.....fast-talking-diva-bitch, with a criminal history.
She describes her design style as a preppy mix of modern and traditional, but she also counts the vibrant pastel colors of "Palm Beach chic" among her favorite looks.
Sounds really criminal. And by criminal I mean ugly.
 

Tyler Wisler, 35, comes to us from South Orange, New Jersey, where gay men have yet to get the memo that wearing scarves is over.
Tyler actually lived in Honolulu, but moved to the East Coast to attend Marymount University. Since earning a bachelor's degree in interior design 12 years ago, Tyler has worked as a professional interior designer in the New York City area. He believes that most of his design skills were developed by on-the-job experience with clients, who he says appreciate his attention to detail.
Which reads as I don't know what I'm doing, but I look fabulous doing it!
Tyler says his latest design trend of "industrial chic," which includes the use of recycled materials and dark metals paired with wood.
Yay! More recyclers who can't so much "create" as they can "recreate".
Tyler says he always strives to give his clients the design they love, but will not hold back if he disagrees with a design decision.
Like J, he sounds like a B.
 
 
Tune in. The crazy starts tonight on HGTV!!!