Wednesday, December 02, 2009


Another one for the team.
Meredith Baxter Birney, the mom from Family Ties, the queen of the Lifetime movie, is a big old Lesbian. Apparently, although she's been married three times and has five children, she realized about seven years ago she was gay, and has been in a relationship with a woman for the last four years.

Well, good for you Meredith. And welcome. I am sure the Kenmore Toaster Oven, the Eddie Bauer Tool Belt, and your own copy of the Gay Agenda--replete with instructions on how The Gays will destroy the world--are in the mail.

Enough with the Tiger Woods business. Sheesh, we're sending more than 30,000 men and women back into Afghanistan and one of the the top stories in the news is Tiger Woods hitting a tree with an Escalade and not a golf ball. Is he cheating on the missus? Ain't nunyabidness. Did his wife beat him up? Nunya. We've got more important things to worry about than a single car billionaire accident.

find something better to talk about, something important!

But not this:

Speaking of ridiculous news stories, this whole Party Crasher nonsense is working my last Smallville nerve. To Tareq and Michelle Salahi I say, "Shut your friggin' yaps. The more you go on TV to tell us how devastated you are that people think you crashed a White House party, the more you look like fame whores looking for that tick-tick-tick fifteen minutes of fame. Shut up, already."

Admit you crashed the party because you have no soul and are looking for anything to fill that blackened charred hole in your being.

There are rumors abuzzin' that former Miss South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, will be one of the racetestants on the next installment of The Amazing Race.
God, I hope she gets a map if she has to go to The Iraq, and such as.......

Rupert Everett has been speaking out again. And he's trotting out his favorite non-story that gay actors should stay in the closet if they want to have successful careers in film. He says his film career stalled because he became more well-known for being gay than being an actor. I say, "Rupert? Darling? You haven't lost parts because you're gay. you've lost parts because you make idiotic choices in film, and if your films don't make money, that's why you don't get jobs. It's revenue, baby, not sexual orientation that stops you from getting work. Try closing your mouth......Close it!.....and start looking for good roles, not that gay best friends of Madonna shtick you've been doing for a decade or so. M'kay?"

Oh, me, oh, my, I am going to miss this.


frogponder said...

I would like to confess that I did *not* have an affair with Tiger Woods. Apparently every other woman is coming forward and admitting such. I don't know how I missed the memo.

Lou said...

It concerns me that your lovely (but clearly mentally deficient) ex-Miss South Carolina might be being sent out into the big bad world purely for the entertainment value for the rest of us. Should be funny though.

Kyle said...

Why is our sad little Rupert rehashing this? I love him, but he is starting to sound like a scratchy, broken record. It's like watching Baby Jane start to do her routine again,you are like, "oh, no here she goes again." At least Jane was crazy.

Wonder Man said...

I done with Tiger

dmappin said...

I'm not sure who is more to blame here.. the audience for watching this stuff or the networks and media for reporting it all.

With all the real news such as the war in Afghanistan, the economy and health care reform... and yet people are so damned fixated on Tiger Woods, what Brittany is doing this week...

We've become far too used to the trivial... and sadly the trivialization of media is leading us down a path to the ridiculous.

Mark in DE said...

Good for Meredith! I'm happy to have her on our team.

Couldn't agree more about Rupert. He's gorgeous, but he needs to select better films.

That Oprah video is just too damn funny! You'll be seeing it in my Friday fragments post. :-)

Beth said...

"And such as..." still cracks me up, all this time later. Thanks for the fun reminder!

Dan said...

amen, amen, amen!!!!