Rants! Rants! Who Will Buy My Rants?

I haven't had a good rant lately. it might have something to do with the fact that I've been busy and haven't seen Oprah in more than a week. Girl really knows how to get my goat. Although, I do so love when she has singers on and Miss Winfrey has the cameras trained on her while she mangles the words and claps offbeat. Yeah, I miss my O.

But, still, there are some things out there that annoy me or make me giggle.

Balloon boy. Go away, and take your media whoring fame seeking asshat of a father with you. And your mom, too. I mean, haven't these people heard of Jon and Kate? Don't they see that in their future? Are we, and by we I mean them because I don't have a desire for fame, are so obsessed with getting on TV and being the latest Bravo sensation that we're willing to lie, and make our children lie, just to achieve a level of fame? Really?

Really.

And poor Carrie Prejean. I know, faithful readers of ISBL will know that I promised never to write of this illiterate asshat after her running of the mouth about how God chose her to be his spokeswoman against marriage equality. But I guess she wasn't listening to God that day in the doctors office, when she asked for the Double C's and paid for them with pageant money.

Cuz now the pageant is suing for the return of their Boob Bucks, their Mammary Money, their C-Cup C-Notes, their Breastage Benjamins, their Hooter Hundreds, their Titty twenties....okay I'll stop.

Carrie? Honey? I know I asked before, but really, dear, you need to go away and be quiet, because everything you do, everything, proves over and over again that you're an idiot and a media whore.

Jay Leno is ruining NBC. Told ya so! Pfffffft!

The ratings for NBC from 10 PM to 11 PM are down a whopping 40% from last year. That's right, nearly half their audience is gone because people no likee Jay before 11:30.

Should they fire him?

Should he quit?

Should they rethink this asinine idea?

Yes. Yes. And a wee bit late.

What the hell happened to Tanya Tucker's face? i was watching her perform on Fox News--I know, what was I doing watching Fox News and Tanya Tucker? And I know she's had a tough life; she's been rode hard and put away wet, as we like to say here in horse country. But dayum! Girl had some mean plastic surgery. I mean, it makes her look mean. She was singing a love song but I swear I thought she wanted to kick someone's ass.

And what's this about Sarah Palin posting a resume online? Is she seriously looking for a job--or is it just another Palin lame attempt to keep her name in the news? And who's gonna hire Moose Mess [thanks to Wonderman for that name] now? I mean, she didn't even finish her last job because it got too, what was the word, oh yeah, hard.

But then she has been busy writing her book.

Writing? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

And Whitney Houston. Poor thing, I think crack is back. Now, first off, that's an old picture of Miss Whitney, and I will give it to her that she looks good now, but recently she was acting like the woman in that photo.

She performed on The X Factor in the UK, singing "Million Dollar Bill" and she sounded okay. But the way she acted was very different.

When the emcee approached her after the song, and leaned in to kiss her cheek, she literally pulled back like she didn't know who he was; and when he said Thanks for the money--fake dollar bills fell from the sky as Whitney sang--she kicked at it and said it was all hers. then the kicker: he asked when her album was dropping [lordy, I hate that word....dropping] she actually looked at him and said, Album?

Poor thing.

Paris Hilton. Although I may have to drop her from my lists as she is apparently keeping her panties on and singing mouth off.

Lindsay Lohan--Happy 69th Birthday, BTW. I mean, have you seen her lately?

She looks worse than Tanya Tucker, and she could be Tucker's granddaughter. Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. Get out of the spotlight and take that job at the Sunglass Hut.

Seriously.

That's all.