Friday, April 02, 2021

I Didn't Say It ...

Matt Gaetz, [Q-FL], suddenly announcing he has a new career lined up on the very same day it was announced he was being investigated for child sex trafficking:

“Yes. I’ve had many conversations with many people about life after Congress. These conversations have been very general in nature and have never included me soliciting or receiving an offer of employment. There is not a single conservative television station I haven’t had a passing conversation with about life after Congress. I have neither received nor solicited offers from any of them. But yes, I’ve talked to either executives, producers or hosts at Newsmax, OAN, Fox, Fox Business, Real America’s Voice and probably others I’m forgetting in this moment as I focus intently on refuting false accusations against me.”

Nice try, Matt, but then a Fox News spokesman said:

“No one with any level of authority has had conversations with Matt Gaetz for any of our platforms and we have no interest in hiring him.”

Ouch. But I hear they’re hiring at the prison laundry. Though sex traffickers might not be allowed in Gen Pop.

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Chris Columbus, film director, not the murderer of Native Peoples, has confirmed the existence of an R-rated version of Robin Williams’ Mrs. Doubtfire:

"The reality is that there was a deal between Robin and myself, which was, he’ll do one or two, three scripted takes. And then he would say, ‘Then let me play.’ And we would basically go on anywhere between 15 to 22 takes, I think 22 being the most I remember. He would sometimes go into territory that wouldn’t be appropriate for a PG … "

I sure hope they release it because I need some Williams riffing without barriers!

Plus an NC-17 Doubtfire would be a riot!

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Lindsey Graham, today on Fox News Sunday:

“I would challenge [Chuck Schumer] to bring the assault weapons ban to the floor of the United States Senate. It won’t get 50 votes, much less 60. I own an AR-15. If there’s a natural disaster in South Carolina where the cops can’t protect my neighborhood, my house will be the last ones that the gangs will come to because I can defend myself.”

Bitch, please, you’d be too busy cowering in a corner, clutching your pearls, and wishing you had a man in the house to fire a gun. Hell, you’d probably shoot yourself first.

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Mick Mulvaney, former chief of staff for the twice-impeached, one-term loser, calling his former boss a bit of a liar about the Capitol riots:

“I was surprised to hear the President say that. Clearly there were people who were behaving themselves, and then there were people who absolutely were not. But to come out and say that everyone was fine and there was no risk, that’s just manifestly false—people died, other people were severely injured. It’s not right to say there was no risk, I don’t know how you can say that when people were killed.”

Nice Mick, but, um, yeah, then why did you also add that you’d vote for him in 2024? Cuz you like working with blatant liars?

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Michele Bachman, speaking on a “prayer call” about the current president:

“I want everyone to realize what we’re living through and what we’re witnessing is a coup. This is called a coup, and a coup is a political term, and what it means is an unlawful, unauthorized takeover of a legitimate government. America had a legitimate government, but this is an unauthorized, illegal takeover through voter fraud in last November’s election, and now H.R. 1 [will] forever cement that illegal takeover into place. Make no mistake about it—what we’re watching is a coup. You see this in third-world countries. It’s happening in the greatest country in the world, the United States, but it is a coup.”

Oh Michele, instead of just speaking out of your ass, prove voter fraud; prove it. Go ahead, we’ll wait while an actual decent human being and legitimately elected president rights this ship.

And then, ma’am, kindly fuck all the way off.

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Billy Porter, actor, singer, fashion icon, on his life, good and bad, after arriving at the Oscars in that custom Christian Siriano tuxedo gown:

“I thought back to when my friend Idina Menzel was at the Oscars [in 2014] to sing ‘Let It Go,’ from Frozen, and John Travolta mispronounced her name onstage I literally said out loud, ‘She’s going to be a household name in less than 24 hours.’ And she was. As funny as it may sound, I’m a businessman, and wearing that [Oscars] dress was a business decision, in a sense. People were like, ‘Oh, he’s just trying to get attention.’ Well, yeah, I’m in show business! It’s part of my job. Otherwise, I don’t eat. I used to get frustrated that women could wear whatever they wanted and men had to show up in the same penguin suit. The reason why women wearing pants is considered OK by society’s standards is because it comes from the patriarchy. The patriarchy is male, so suits are strong, and anything feminine is weak. I was sick of that discussion, and I knew my platform allowed me to challenge it. [The hate from the right] was based on this idea that I’m coming to get their children because of the way I dress. What is that? I’m over here minding my own business. So why is it triggering you? At that moment, I was grateful that I am a man of a certain age, because when you become a certain age, zero f—s are given. I don’t now, nor will I ever, adjudicate my life or my humanity in [other people's] sound bites or responses on social media. Simultaneously, it still hurts to have people come after me for nothing. When Lady Gaga dresses up and performs a song on TV as if she’s a man [Jo Calderone at the 2011 MTV VMAs], no one bats an eye. They receive her as an artist who’s playing with different silhouettes and ideas. Same with David Bowie. When white and straight people do it, they’re considered artists. When I do it, I’m a perversion. The answer to that from me is no.”

After the Oscars Porter was invited to appear on Sesame Street in his Siriano gown, and then Jason Rapert, a Republican Arkansas state senator, slammed PBS for using taxpayer dollars to promote, ahem, “a radical LGBTQ+ agenda,” adding that he could pass a bill to “cut off all funding” to the network.

Luckily, like Porter, Sesame Street has been around a while and they also have zero fucks to give.

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14 comments:

Helen Lashbrook said...

Not like Fox to pick up every little bit of GQP trash lying about; the Murdochs must have heard some very incriminating news items.

Mistress Maddie said...

Matt Gaetz. I hope he crashes and burns!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Robin Williams was such a brilliant improviser -- I'd love to see his unscripted Mrs Doubtfire!

Steve Reed said...

The only reason I doubt the Matt Gaetz story is that I was CERTAIN he's gay! What about the boy toy "son"? Now I'm REALLY confused.

Michele Bachmann is just a big, huge idiot. And yes, Lindsay Graham with an AR-15 is a hilarious mental picture.

I hadn't heard about Billy Porter's dress! Awesome!

the dogs' mother said...

I thought Fox would love to
pick up Gaetz!!

Happy Friday! xoxo :-)

Deedles said...

Not enough good stuff to ease the ick, Bobulah.

Moving with Mitchell said...

Who knew Matt Gaetz could get any more idiotic?
I would LOVE to see the Robin Williams riffed Mrs. Doubtfire.
Please, the gangs would just drop a bomb on Lindsey's house.
Mick Mulvaney, where were you when it mattered?
Why is anyone still listening to Michele Bachman?

Thank all the goddesses for Billy Porter!

anne marie in philly said...

GAETZ IS UNCLEAN! GO BILLY GO! who let bachmann outta her cave? and miss lindseybelle is a pussy.

Treaders said...

Wow, Billy Porter just aced it! And I would also LOVE to see the non-PG scenes from Mrs. Doubtfire. I bet they would be a blast!

whkattk said...

Can't wait for yet another QOP idiot to go down. Why is it the loudest ones are always the worst offenders? I hope that dude who actually was the initial reason Goatz (yes, GOATz) was exposed sings like the Diva at an opera. May that QOP pig from NC quickly follow the trail of destruction.

Bachman. Total nut job. Mulvaney. Yeah, him too.

Lady Graham? You nailed it.

Porter? He's genuine and I love his work.

Dave R said...

I suspect Matty Gaetz is Ted Cruz's failed attempt at cloning himself.

Lindsey is a gun whore as long men wave their AK47's at him.

Mick's a douche.

I see someone took Michele's gag off.

Billy is on his way to becoming a legend.

Travel said...

For the most part I sit here shaking my head,

uptonking said...

At this point, Sesame Street is untouchable. And some cutting edge stuff! Why is a man in a dress - not a girly dress, but a gown considered 'perversion'? Porter - breaking down barriers.

Michele belongs in an asylum. She and Palin should get together and do a comedy tour.

Mulvaney is a rat. I love how they are ALL trying to redeem themselves without coming right out and disowning the orange ogre. No forgiveness. They are all crooks. If you know something is a lie and say nothing? You are complicit, you are a liar.

Lindsey? Professional Pearl Clutcher. Bitch can't even lift that rifle. Oh, and I like his contempt of the poor and minorities. Princess.

NO. Robin could be funny. But he was also best in small doses. I thought most of his films were a chore to sit through. And I will never forgive him for that horrible film where he played an inspirational insipid teacher. He might as well have sung Butterfly Kisses.

Matt... aren't we enjoying that sh*t show? He's my favorite reality meltdown at the moment. I can't get enough. I just hope there's something to put his stupid frat boy azz in prison.

Thanks for the feed. Sorry I am so late to the party. Kizzes.




Bob said...

@Helen
It is very telling that Fox released that statement!
Poor Matty!

@MM
Couldn’t happen to a mor deserving fellow.
Next up, Lindsey Graham? PleasePleasePlease

@Debra
Me, too. I hope it comes out at some point!

@Steve
Well, Gaetz did “adopt” a nearly gown young man that he calls his on—even though there is no legal adoption, so, yeah, I was surprised, too, that this story was about women.
Bachmann is WAAAAAAY late to The Big Lie Party.
Lindsey is the worst.
Billy looked amazing in that dress!

@TDM
I think Fox has paid too many sexual harassment suits to hire someone like Gaetz.


@DeeDahLahDarling
It was mostly ick this week.

@Mitchell
Who knew, is right. I mean, he was sick even before all this, and this is gonna get uglier.
I can imagine NC-17 Doubtfire is a riot.
Lindsey trying to sound tough guy is hilarious.
I have met Mulvaney in Camden—he lives here—and he’s a nice guy. But, clearly, also an idiot.
I guess Bachmann has nothing better to do since her husband is vacationing at his ex-gay therapist’s office on Fire Island.
YASSSSS Billy.

@AM
Gaetz is the ickiest person we’ve seen in years.
Thank the goddess for Billy.


@Treaders
Billy possesses that rare trait of simple common sense.

@whkattk
People like Gaetz think that if they act the fool, no one will look too closely at them. Wrong.
And wouldn’t it be nice if Madison CawthorNazi went down, too?
Bachmann and Mulvaney are total GQP party whores.
Lindsey is just a whore,
Porter is brazilliant.

@Dave
I just wish we’d get real dirt on Rafael Cruz.
Lindsey is trying to prove he’s not your Aunt PityPat.
I have met Mulvaney, a nice guy, but clearly drank all the Kool-Aid.
Bachmann uses her hubby’s ball gag.
Billy is excellence.

@Travel
Yeah, I try to get some good, bad and ugly every week, but this week the ugly won out.

@uptonking
Remember Garbo in a man’s suit? Daring. But Porter does what he wants and takes no prisoners and gives no fucks!!
Bachmann was stupid before stupid was Palin … and Boebert and MTG.
Mulvaney is a rat. Sad, though, that he’s actually a very nice guy in person—he lives in our town. Even sadder that he blasts Thing #45 and then says he’d vote for IT again.
I’m surprised Miss Lindsey knew how to hold that weapon, though I imagine she asked some NRA beefcake to give her a lesson.
I do agree that full-on two hours of William’s riffing mike get crazy, but I’d watch it in small doses.
I am loving the Fall of Gaetz.
And it doesn’t matter when you get to the matter, it only matters that you came!
xoxo