I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It looks like former Husband-in-My-head Armie Hammer’s film career is now officially over.

Word comes that, after been dropped by his talent agency, WME, and his publicist, after being replaced by Josh Duhamel in Shotgun Wedding, after having his offer rescinded by producers of The Offer, and with the already finished Death on The Nile perhaps never being released, he was “let go” from a movie called Billion Dollar Spy—the last remaining film on Hammer’s slate.

And it gets worse … earlier this month it was revealed that the LAPD is investigating Hammer for sexual assault stemming from an accusation of “violent rape and physical abuse” by a woman known only as Effie, who is thought to be the person behind the Instagram account  that began Armie’s fall from  grace.

And again, while you might wanna give him some benefit of the doubt about all these accusations, remember he has never denied them, but has only complained only about being kink-shamed … right out of a film career.

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Tori Spelling has built a very lucrative career off having kids and not paying her credit card bills, so it’s not surprising that the very thirsty for attention Spelling did something stupid last week.

On April 1—which is, in Tori’s world Act A Fool Day AKA every day—she posted a photo to Instagram of herself with an obvious “baby bump” along with the caption “No. 6” implying she is pregnant once again:

Kind of a stupid joke, and in any way you slice it, not really funny, because a mother who can’t pay her credit card bills should think long and hard before having a sixth child, and to joke about being pregnant is kind of offensive to women who cannot conceive. So, Instagram lashed back at Spelling for being dense, though Tori is so dense that she says the post isn’t her fault …

“Every week, magazine and press outlets ask if I’m pregnant. To set the record straight, I am not. The fact is, after my fifth baby, my body did not bounce back like it had before. That’s when the constant questions of “yet another” pregnancy first began. Unless you’re in the public eye, it is hard to understand what it feels like to be body shamed so publicly. I feel like I have to constantly defend my body when instead, I should be honoring it for the miracle of life it gave me five times. I know pregnancy is an extreme blessing. And I would never intentionally poke fun at losing a child or not being able to carry one. I myself have miscarried. My post was to simply turn the tables for once on the press. They constantly create wild and often hurtful stories about me, my body and my family. For those of you who are hurt, I hear you, I love you. I welcome your stories and I will try my best to be there to support you. Please accept this as a virtual hug to my entire community.”

What a load of bull shit. It’s the media’s fault? The media often body shamed her as looking pregnant because she didn’t lose her body weight as fast as she had before so she posts a picture of herself looking pregnant, or overweight, and claims she’s pregnant? Nice try, Tori. You posted the photo. You called it No. 6. You did this.

The shame isn’t on your body it’s on your lack of having a fully functioning brain and being so desperate for attention you can’t stop to think how idiotic and ridiculous and rude and offensive you are.

Now, just go pay your bills and leave the world alone.

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Khloé Kardastrophe has served so many different looks over the years, from new hair, new eyes, new chin, new nose; she’s gone from looking like a Khloé to a Beyonce to Jessica Alba using fillers, filters, and whatever Black Magic Photoshop she can find. But one thing she will not tolerate, nor will any member of That Klan, is an actual, unretouched photo … which may explain why she’s channeling her inner Beyonce—remember when she tried to scrub the internet of her Superbowl Ugly Performance Face—to rid the internet of this recent photo:

[Love to show it to you, but the Kardastrophes cried ‘Copyright Infringement’ and the picture is now gone]

Rumor has it the photo—which is an authentic photo taken in what looks like the backyard of That Woman’s home—was never meant to be shared outside The Klan, but it begs the question why would you share it inside The Klan, who sell themselves every day for social media clicks? But one person did share it and has ALLEGEDLY been threatened with legal action for posting it, except that person ALLEGEDLY got the photo from Khloé’s grandmother, Mary Jo “MJ” Shannon.

So, what does Khloé do? She immediately posts this posed, edited, filtered photo on the web to try and diminish the response to the first pic:

But here’s another thing: Tracy Romulus, chief marketing officer for KKW Brands, says that while the photo of Khloé is real, and she looks beautiful in it, it was taken without permission by mistake by an assistant, and so it must be taken down. Sounds to me like an awful lot of effort for a photo everyone agrees is real, and shows Khloé looking so, um, beautiful.

But then because, of course, the Kardastrophe’s know that any publicity is good publicity, and so they will keep the story going, Khloé Kardastrophe, herself, has a few words something wrote for her to say about all this:

“In truth, the pressure, constant ridicule and judgment my entire life to be perfect and to meet other’s standards of how I should look has been too much to bear. ‘Khloé is the fat sister.’ ‘Khloé is the ugly sister.’ ‘Her dad must not be her real dad because she looks so different.’ ‘The only way she could have lost that weight must have been from surgery.' You never quite get used to being judged and pulled apart and told how unattractive one is, but I will say if you hear anything enough then you will start to believe it. This is how I have been conditioned to feel, that I am not beautiful enough just being me.”

Um, that’s a nice word salad, except we already know that everyone in the family says she looks beautiful in the picture, and no one who saw the picture said “fat” or “ugly” or “her dad isn’t her dad,” they simply said, “once again Khloé doesn’t look anything like Khloé.”:

But that retouched, filtered, Photoshopped one looks exactly like Khloé … wants you to believe she looks.

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And now, for some hot beefy ass … Christopher Meloni’s very nice posterior was recently seen in Brooklyn as he filmed scenes for his new show, Law & Order: Organized Crime. And everyone knows that a Meloni melon is always a pleasure to see, though they are few and far between. But this one was captured while Meloni was doing some kind of stretching move and his pants strained to keep his cakes in check:

And the photo caused such a stir on Twitter, that even one Christopher Meloni was compelled to offer an explanation:

I love that he has fun with this, almost as much I love looking at his gorgeous backside.

Just sayin’.

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