The Traumatization of Bob and Tuxedo

Now, many of you may remember last year when Consuelo escaped the house and spent a week in the backyard, and how worried we were about her. And she escaped because Carlos opened a sliding glass door and, he says, she ran out and he didn’t see her. Keep in mind, however, that Consuelo doesn’t run … except to a food dish. I believe she simply walked out the door and Carlos didn’t see her.

Cut to this week …and the near end of Carlos’ life as we know it. He was headed up the driveway to check the mail and called for Ozzo to go with him; I head the kitchen door open and heard Carlos call Ozzo over and over again; then the door shut. Cut to about fifteen minutes later when I went into the kitchen and was going to feed the cats. I called them all, and Consuelo because it’s a meal, came running. And MaxGoldberg sauntered out. But no Tuxedo.

To be fair, sometimes Tuxedo skips dinnertime, but I still called for him; no Tuxedo. I began checking the places we know where Tuxedo sleeps; no Tuxedo. Carlos asked what I was doing and told him Tuxedo wasn’t around, so Carlos joined the search. I went into the master bathroom because Tuxedo does like napping on the window sill; no Tuxedo. Now, I’m frantic. I head back to the kitchen and see Carlos coming in from the garage with Tuxedo in his hands.

Tuxedo seemed a little scared; I assumed he’d gotten into the garage as Carlos opened the door, and then got stuck in there after Carlos came back inside. And, Tuxedo really was scared; he didn’t want to leave my side; he sat with me, crawled onto my shoulders; came into the kitchen as I cooked dinner and sat by me all night. I did tell Carlos he needs to be extra careful about Tuxedo, because that cat is a sneak and he’s fast—he runs like a madman—and to carefully open the door to the garage.

And, to torture Carlos a little longer, I rode the Traumatized Bus for the entire night, though, truth be told, I truly was very scared at the thought of that cat getting outside because he’d go. Luckily, it was just the garage. Or was it.

As I told Carlos that I would be telling the take of The Traumatization of Bob and Tuxedo on my blog this week, he fessed up … and I was scared all over again.

You see, he opened the door to go out and check the mail, and held it open for Ozzo to come along, and held it open a little longer and that’s when Tuxedo made his escape, BUT … he also opened the garage door, walked up the hill, got the mail, came down the hill, closed the garage door and came into the house. And when I began searching for Tuxedo, he went into the garage, and then went out into the front yard, and there was Tuxedo, crying, meowing, in the yard…the front yard … the ‘Is that the road right there’ yard.

Lord … I loves me some Carlos but if that cat had escaped, because he was out front with no fence to contain him, this would have been a vastly different week at Casa Bob y Carlos. he asked if I would have called a divorce attorney and I said there'd be no need ... all I required was a good probate lawyer.

Just sayin’.