Bobservations

The other day Carlos had a translation at our local courthouse. It was a messy case, child custody stuff, so he was doing a lot of translating and his throat got dry. He saw some plastic cups on the table and some bottles of water, so he helped himself to a cup and began to open the water and pour when the bailiff stopped him:

“That’s hand sanitizer, sir.”

Has he been listening to _____ lately? I'm checking the cabinets for hydroxycholoquine.

Tuxedo is taking a break from politics and riots and murder this week, after his own traumatic experience with Mean Daddy—see yesterday’s post. Now he just wants to chuckle…

A new book by New York Time’s Michael Schmidt—“Donald _____ v. the United States”—is coming out this week and claims that _____ thought about “settling” with special counsel Robert Mueller. Schmidt writes:

“At one point, as the investigation seemed to be intensifying, [_____ told White House counsel Don McGahn] that there was nothing to worry about because if it was zeroing in on him, he would simply settle with Mueller. He would settle the case, as if he were negotiating terms in a lawsuit.”

Fucking moron. He’s lived a life buying his way out of troubles with contractors and employees and porn starts and that he could do the same with the government.

As a kid we would spend part of our summers at Lake Tahoe, often renting a cabin close to Tahoe City and the lake. But a couple of times we rented cabins in Squaw Valley which is a gorgeous valley, and great skiing in winter. The only downside was that it was a half hour to the lake.

Another downside, these days? Squaw Valley. And so now the ski resort will be changing its “derogatory and offensive” name. When you know better, you do better.

KFC has suspended its well-known slogan because it “doesn’t feel quite right” amid the coronavirus pandemic.

No more “Finger Lickin’ Good.”

To me it never was 'Finger lickin' good,'it was just greasy.

This past summer, Professor Eric Orts, along with six faculty members, from the University of Pennsylvania requested the school investigate _____’s academic records, but provost Wendell Pritchett said it was too far into the past to look into it, unless new evidence came to light.

Well, now Eric Orts says the tape recordings—made by niece Mary Trump as part of the research for her _____ book—constitute the new evidence because, on the tapes, you hear _____’s sister, Maryanne Trump Barry, say:

“He got into University of Pennsylvania because he had somebody take the exams.”

Now, I know the MAGAts won’t care; their heads are too deeply buried in the sand or their own asses. But I would love to see this proven.

Stable Genius Cheated.

In the Someone Get Me A Hazmat Suit and a Silkwood Scrubdown files comes the tale of the time that _____told Sarah Huckabee Sanders to “take one for the team” after North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un hit on her at a summit in Singapore in June 2018.

I don’t know which is ickier … Un sex or Huckleberry sex …or Un and Huckleberry sex, but Huckleberry says:

“We made direct eye contact and Kim nodded and appeared to wink at me. I was stunned. I quickly looked down … All I could think was, ‘What just happened? Surely Kim Jong Un did not just mark me!?'”

Settle, honey, that ain’t no prize, though I’m surprised you didn’t do the Un deed to get in good with the boss..

A fundraiser on the Christian crowdfunding site GiveSendGo has raised over $200,000 for the defense of the Kenosha shooter … I will not  say his name … who was charged with first-degree murder after killing two people and wounding one other. Nope; that’s not  a misprint … a Christian group is making money to defend a murderer and they are lying about it when they say:

“[The murderer] just defended himself from a brutal attack by multiple members of the far-leftist group ANTIFA—the experience was undoubtedly a brutal one, as he was forced to take two lives to defend his own. Now, [the murderer]  is being unfairly charged with murder 1, by a DA who seems determined only to capitalize on the political angle of the situation. The situation was clearly self-defense, and [the murderer]  and his family will undoubtedly need money to pay for the legal fees. Let’s give back to someone who bravely tried to defend his community.”

Keep in mind that the murderer is not from Kenosha—he lives out of state—so he was not trying to defend his community. And faux-Christians, you keep in mind that God is watching, and She cannot believe what She sees.

Carlos over breakfast:

“I was watching one of my nerd shows about molecules. Did you know that you can split a molecule and perform an experiment on one half and the results happen to both sides of the split molecule at the same time?”

Me:

“I’m sorry, I stopped listening after 'molecule' …”

I kill me.

I am not usually attracted to the sort of blond-haired, blue-eyed mens; I like my men with a little ethnicity to them.

But then I happened on Will Higginson and, well, there was just something there that I couldn’t put my finger on … though I wanted to try.

Just sayin’.