Monday, January 11, 2016

Maybe It's A Conspiracy, But It's A Theory, Too

Now this is all a conspiracy theory, but given that it involves Alaska’s Most Famous White Trash Family, the Palins, well, maybe it’s true …

Last month, on that most holy of days, of course, Christmas Day, Mama Grizzly Bore™ celebrated the birth of daughter Blister’s most recent out-of-wedlock spawn, Sailor Grace. Or … did they?

Sailor Grace’s birth was announced  on December 24 by the Palins on Blister’s blog, and Mama Grizzly Bore™ herself followed up the very next day with a post on her Facebook page on the 25th showing her holding the newborn.

But … the photo Mama Grizzly Bore™ put up on Facebook was posted from New Orleans, so how is the MGB™ holding her brand new granddaughter in New Orleans the day after the child was born in Alaska? Well, MGB™ could have sent the photo to someone else, someone in New Orleans, and they posted it, or she was in New Orleans that day with the baby. Now, if she was there, exactly how did she have a picture of her and her new, one day old granddaughter?

Then, Alleged Baby Daddy, Dakota Meyer, posted this picture to his Twitter account.
Cute, no? But someone noticed something a little odd … something written on the tape holding Blister’s IV in place on her hand.

Right Wing Crooks did some photo enhancing to sharpen the image, then traced over the leftover dark spots to indicate what appeared to be written on the tape. They enhanced the photo and came up with this:

The first number definitely does not look like a 12 at all in either picture. The second looks like a 4, not a 20-anything. The 15 is clear. So, if this picture, of Blister holding her daughter is correct, Blister Palin gave birth on 11/4/2015 or perhaps earlier, and not on 12/24/2015 as she claims.

So, to start off, let’s go back to the miraculous conception … and misconception:

In March 2015, MGB™ announced the engagement of Blister to former Marine and Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer.  It was strange because the Palins, mother and daughter especially, are two of the biggest media whores online, posting pictures constantly of their lives and such, but after the engagement announcement, there was nothing; no Blister shopping for rings; no Blister trying on wedding gowns; no Blister doing that pre-wedding stuff anywhere, anyhow, ever.

Then, in May, just weeks before the wedding, Blister and Mama Grizzly Bore™ announced the wedding was called off and had people wondered why; two reasons emerged:

Dakota Meyer had been married before — which was ALLEGEDLY news to the Palins and they were devastated by the lie and called the whole thing off.

Blister announced she was pregnant and refused to name the father; she refused to name Dakota Meyer as the Daddy and he thought some hanky-panky was going on with Abstinence Mom and so the wedding was off.

So, let’s travel back, again, this time to around Valentine’s Day, when Blister posted two interesting photos to her Instagram page, both taken in Las Vegas ….

In one photo Blister is posing with her family and her best friend, Marina Lupas, an Anchorage-based “adult performer” in a Las Vegas Italian restaurant. In the second photo, a selfie, we see Blister and Marina in the ladies’ room of a Vegas restaurant or casino or something. In the caption accompanying that photo, Bristol says: 
“Reminder of the good old days.  The night before I ruined my life forever.  Worst Valentine’s Day ever.”
Huh? What? The theory at this point is that Blister actually conceived one night in Vegas after a night of partying and a hook-up with some random whomever and suddenly, Abstinence Mom found herself knocked up … AGAIN!

Now, if Blister was knocked up on February 14th, her baby would be due between the 9th and 21st of November.  When her engagement was announced in March — ALLEGEDLY to make the baby “legitimate” and, even better, the child of an American Hero … imagine how MGB™ would ride that for publicity — Blister was already one month pregnant by some random dude she found at a slot machine. 

And MGB™ knew if the public learned that Blister was knocked up as the result of a partying one-night stand in Vegas, her hopes of stardom and relevance, and riding the coattails of an American hero, would come to naught and so the plot was hatched; Bristol would document her pregnancy, complete with photos every month but she would post these photos to Instagram two months AFTER they were taken.  And so, in late November, when Blister posted a photo claiming her baby was due in 3 weeks — Christmas Eve — the baby had already been born.

So let’s go back to that photo MGB™ posted on Facebook of herself and Todd holding newborn Sailor one day after she was “born” — 24 December — in a photo stamped “New Orleans!”  The conspiracy is that the photo of MGB™, Todd, and Sailor was taken shortly after the baby was born on November 4th, and they held off posting it until the day after Blister claimed the baby was born when they were actually in New Orleans. 

And they did all this to make it appear the baby was Dakota Meyer’s child. If the baby were born in December, that would place conception AFTER the Blister-Dakota engagement was announced, thereby making it appear that either Blister and Dakota bumped uglies before the wedding night that never happened, or that the baby was conceived AFTER the marriage in May and just arrived a wee bit early.

And that’s the theory. I am not here to say it’s true, I’m not here to say it’s false; I am just here to deliver a rather interesting story.

Still, I could see the Palins doing this because, seriously, do they ever tell the truth about anything?
Winning Democrats


Jan B said...

"Alaska’s Most Famous White Trash Family, the Palins".......Hahahaha!

Helen Lashbrook said...

If true, it's not (dare I say it?) very Christian

the dogs' mother said...

my mind is spinning!

Biki Honko said...

I heard a while ago that Dakota is going to push for shared custody. Hopefully he will also request that a paternity test is administered. If what you speculate to be true, and I believe you've hit the nail on the blister, it will all crack wide open when the news breaks that it isn't his child.

Bob Slatten said...

I don't know if it's true, but, if it is, I'd love to see it come out ... except for poor Sailor having to be raised by that band of scam artists and miscreants.

anne marie in philly said...

holy crapola! something stinks here, and it ain't the baby's diaper...

paternity test STAT!

jadedj said...

Finally...a "Birther" conspiracy that makes sense! Your investigative logic is impeccable, Bob!

Bob Slatten said...

I'm just passing along info I found elsewhere!

Blobby said...

You're funny - "a random dude by a slot machine". Possible, but not in a decent casino. More like a Binions. Or maybe the Denneys.

Anonymous said...

Apparently Dakota is seeking joint custody and child support from Ms. Bristol. The courts require a paternity test in these cases.
Her married name would have been Bristol Meyer. Not as fun as Lauren Lauren, but ...

Mitchell is Moving said...

Is Maury Povich still on the air doing his class act? If so, the Palin Clan live-on-TV paternity test would get a lot of attention.